Chapter 18: Anti-Family Rumble and the Troll Lands

This had to be among the worst nights Beatrice ever endured. All-nighters were second nature to her, but thanks to the rumble with the family of psycho albino dino weirdoes, Beatrice had to pull an all-nighter just to make sure the train wouldn't be attacked again. By the time dawn hit, her makeup barely hid the bags under her eyes. And to boot it all, Willywaffle's predictions had proven accurate. At the first light on dawn, probably somewhere around 7am, they saw that Audrey had in fact struck a high fever. She didn't sweat or struggle like most sick humans do, but due to her magic struggling to battle the infections from within, Audrey couldn't be awoken by force.

"C'mon, Audrey!" Gothy tried to shake her awake. It didn't work.

Willywaffle checked outside the window. The jungle was now distances away, they had passed the towns on the way, and the passage through the desert had worn out Crystal and Beatrice due to the unexpected presence of sandworms. He managed to recognize the forest-filled hills they were approaching. "We're approaching the Troll lands." He grimaced. Guess I owe you a lifetime supply of candy and thirteen Oompa-Loompas, Crystal."

"Keep your stuff." Crystal yawned. "But I'd kill for a Hot Wonka Mocha right about now…"

"I just want to go to the Troll lands, fix Audrey… and take a nap…" Beatrice was also tired. Her eyes nearly dozed off but were awakened by the brutal shaking that went over their wagon. The sounds of the locomotive sounded vicious before hitting an alarming stop that caused the entire train to stop.

"What just happened?" Gothy struggled to keep herself on her feet.

"Hopefully not the Indominus Rex and her offspring seeking revenge, because Audrey's an easy breakfast!" Beatrice panicked.

"This doesn't make sense! The Bloody Bambi is pulling the train!" Crystal shook her head.

The beast proved her otherwise as it burst the cabin door open with its antlers, urging with its head to follow it.

Minutes later

This was a disaster. The locomotive's engines were already damaged from the caramelized chocolate, and now some outer source had caused the cables to overheat. And to add insult to injury, dozens of the train wheels had been severely dented. Willywaffle didn't hesitate and ordered his Oompa-Loompas to escort the other passengers out of the train; they were lucky enough for the train to have stopped by a field next to a staircase leading to the other side of a hill where the station actually was, but the field was located dangerously close to a cliff that dropped immediately towards the sapphire blue waters of the peninsula.

"You think it was leftover debris from the jungle attack?" Crystal asked Beatrice.

"Unlikely. Audrey used nearly every atom to rebuild that bridge just to punch Indimia's guts out." Beatrice shook her head. "And these wheels are made of serious metal. It's the same kind they used for Edward Scissorhands." Sure enough, the damages on the wheels looked like someone was capable of denting them deeply enough to destabilize them.

"I have a bad feeling…" Gothy muttered.

"You're telling me! Audrey's still knocked out in the cabin! How the heck are we going to bring her to a doctor?"

"Well Gothy already tied her onto the Bloody Bambi after they crossed the mist and Audrey had that bloodhound bite…"

"Shut up." Gothy pondered. "This is déjà vu. Somebody sabotaged the wheels…"

"Rather obvious, Captain Gorgeous." Crystal rolled her eyes.

"No." Gothy shook her head. "I mean it's déjà vu because I recognize this method of sabotage…" Gothy stood quiet for a moment. She slowly reached for her purse, pulled out her dagger, and threw it behind her. Sure enough, it stuck onto the top of a wagon, near a hatch that led directly to the corridor leading to Audrey's cabin, and somebody was near the hatch. The person immediately dodged it and ran up the wagons. Gothy climbed up and snatched her dagger. Crystal raised her hands to create a crystal ball…

"Don't!" Gothy warned her.

"Why?" Crystal shouted.

"Get back!" Willywaffle shoved the girls aside when he saw the figure throwing blades at their direction. They managed to land safely on the grass, but Willywaffle's right arm was scratched by the two grey blades that had struck him. Their strange metal shined under the sunlight.

"Iron and silver…" Crystal backed Beatrice behind her. "Watch out, Bea. Those metals can affect our powers."

The figure ran towards Gothy, who managed to hold back his attack by having her dagger collide with his. She managed to shove him off the wagon, but he managed to perform a somersault and land on his feet. Thanks to his movement, the dark-colored hoodie fell off his head, revealing the gray locks of hair, pale skin, and unusual purple eyes, and with the proper lighting coming the sun, his shining blade turned out to be the twin of Gothy's dagger.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!" Crystal exclaimed. "That's your little brother?"

"Little brother?" Beatrice and Willywaffle both exclaimed in shock due to being among the last ones updated on the shock news of the decade.

"Charles…" Gothy said viciously. "Why am I not surprised that you came here?"

"Instincts based on natural animosity?" Charles suggested.

"Drop your French comedy, you creep of nature!" Gothy pointed her dagger at him. "We have no reason of seeing one another and there was no way you'd ditch an idyllic escape from your father to Auradon! Why did you sabotage the train?"

"Why else, grande soeur?" Charles coldly called her by the French term for 'big sister'. "I'm here to drag Audrey back to Auradon."

"You can't do that!" Beatrice protested.

"Beatrice is right!" Willywaffle nodded. "If you crossed the mist, that's it. Those who left Auradon never go back!"

"I know." Charles shrugged. "But… I guess the mist's creator didn't take into account that as a half-breed sorceress who created the mist, she made it that only half-breeds with magical heritage could come and go through the mist and drag along someone they invite." He sneered at Gothy. "Ironic how fate worked out for us, didn't it, grande soeur? You got Mother Gothel's looks, I got her ancient heritage of gypsy magic and whatever leftovers she had of the Sunflower."

"I'll shove you off this cliff!" Gothy got angry as her grip tightened on her blade. Charles didn't hesitate to hold out his hand and trapping Gothy in a ring of fire. Crystal tossed her crystal balls at him, but he managed to bat them away into disintegration with his dagger. She tossed a crystal ball at the ground, causing rock spikes to emerge and aim at Charles, but once again, he threw his special throwing blades at the enchanted rocks, causing them to crumble. She tried casting a spell to surround him with stonewalls, but he managed to his purple-colored fire to heat up the stones into glass and shatter them with his dagger. The teenager was probably scrawny, but he fought like a professional, undeterred bounty hunter.

Willywaffle struck his cane to the ground. It was rather unexplainable because no one has ever managed to explain if it was magic or pure molecular manipulation, but striking his cane on the ground caused the dirt to transform into liquid caramel. Charles probably wasted one minute struggling to pull himself out until he hardened the caramel with his purple fire and kicked his way out.

"Oh come on!" Crystal exclaimed. Willywaffle took the initiative of using his cane to hose down the fire ring with a shower hot chocolate. Gothy immediately charged at Charles and both half-siblings managed to counterattack with their daggers. Crystal tried to throw another crystal ball at Charles, but he managed to grab Gothy and throw her at Crystal. Charles made a run for the train, but Willywaffle struck him on the face with his cane. Charles was undeterred, but he was really convinced to engage in a duel with the young adult as he clicked the topper of his cane and a sharp blade carved out of rainbow-colored gemstones popped from the tip.

"Give your best shot, Pencil Hair!" Willywaffle shouted. "Your toys won't affect my blade of Troll gemstones and whatever spell you cast will only charge them!"

"You forget who I am, Calorie-Seller!" Charles told back at Willywaffle. "I can fight without my magic! I spent most of my life only relying on my blades and I still keep using them ever since I got my powers many months ago! I am not a self-corrupted fanatic or a vanity-obsessed narcissist like those who gave birth to and neglected me! I'm my own being! Je suis Charles Luther Frollo!" While the two boys engaged in the equivalent of a fencing duel, Gothy and Crystal came back to their senses.

"I don't believe it!" Crystal panted.

"You're telling me!" Gothy raised her hands. "His middle name is Luther! Frollo probably did that to mock Mother Gothel!"

"Yes, the middle name's horrible, but what the Hell is wrong with your half-brother?" Crystal panicked. "He's like an unstoppable one-man army!"

"I know! But that's what happens when the two most manipulative parents reproduce by accident! Take off Mother Gothel's vanity, Frollo's perverted, genocidal, and fanatical insanity, and their other flaws, and you get this creepy teenager who is properly paranoid, always carrying blades in case something unholy will come after him, and can figure out anything using his own brain! Back on the Isle of the Lost, he could resist bullies and track out in less than a minute if somebody stole his pocket money! And when he got his gypsy magic… he excelled at it like a pro!"

"You don't think Audrey's family paid for him to bring Audrey back home, do you?"

"If I remember well, their family's a bit French. Knowing Frollo's record, it would be an embarrassment if they had to hire the son of one the biggest French psychos to track down their troubled princess… So no. And Charles not known for his monetary greediness!"

"Any weaknesses?"

"You'd think I know!"

Crystal turned her head and freaked out. "Speaking of weaknesses, where's Beatrice?"

Gothy quickly scanned the area. Then she realized that with the boys' focused dueling, Charles couldn't notice that Beatrice was guiding the Bloody Bambi away from the train and taking the direction of the staircase. Audrey, still unconscious and struck by her fever, was wrapped by a bed sheet like a burrito, tied on top of the Bloody Bambi and shielded by the tied-up luggage that the Bloody Bambi managed to carry with ease. It almost looked like a turtle from Gothy and Crystal's point of view.

"I love that brat!" Gothy whispered.

"Now would be a good time to shove your brother off the cliff!" Crystal made a move and threw a crystal ball at the grey-haired boy, but somehow, despite how caught up he was with dueling Willywaffle, the crystal ball just disintegrated into purple ashes.

"Hey!" Willywaffle noticed what just happened. "You said you'd fight without magic! That's cheating!"

"I said I wouldn't use magic to duel you!" Charles pointed out. "I never said I wouldn't cast a protection spell to protect my grey-haired hide from a magical sneak attack whole dueling you!"

"UGH!" Crystal was furious. "WHY WAS THIS GUY EVEN BORN?"

"I already told you!" Gothy shouted back.

And somehow, while they were arguing, Charles went for the most clichéd method of self-defense and kicked Willywaffle where it hurt. While Willywaffle was covering his hit areas, Charles noticed something reflecting on his blade. It wasn't the sunlight, but it was the sneaking-away party getting dangerously close to the staircase that alarmed him. He threw his blades at the hill, somehow making them create a landslide that blocked them from the staircase.

"Hand her over now!" Charles sounded particularly angry that he wasted time due to a distraction.

"Bring it!" Beatrice morphed her hands into giant axes.

"If anyone has a genius idea, now would be a great time!" Willywaffle groaned as he struggled to get up.

"Charles is impossible! It would be a miracle to…" Gothy then got an idea. "Crystal, you can grant wishes! You think I could wish for you to get rid of Charles?"

"Wishes don't exactly come for free…"

"How about a date?"

Crystal blushed in delight. "Go for it!"

"Crystal Maze, I wish some strange force of nature would snatch Charles and fly him as far away from the Troll lands as possible!"

Crystal Maze nodded and snapped her fingers. Just when Charles was preparing to throw his blades at Beatrice, a flying creature flew in out of nowhere, grabbed Charles with its talons, and carried him far into the southeast. Charles' cussing in French could still be heard until the silence took over.

"Uh… I didn't summon a flying gargoyle." Crystal frowned, but the others looked like they could care less. Charles Frollo had been taken care of and that was that.

"Can we go now?" Beatrice asked impatiently. "Audrey needs a medic!"

Later…

"Audrey?"

Audrey felt her eyes struggling to open.

"Audrey? Woo-ooh!"

Her eyes finally managed to pop open. She was resting on a bed in some kind of clinic room with purple-painted walls. By the time she could see things properly, she saw that her friends were surrounding her.

"Ugh… what happened?" Audrey groaned.

"Your injuries from the fight with Indimia Rex put in a very sick state. Your magic did most of the outer self-healing, but struggling to heal the inside put you in a feverish coma," Crystal explained. "You were out for a day, we arrived at the Troll lands, and we're currently at the clinic of the Western Station."

"I knew the Trolls' remedies would be effective," Willywaffle said. "You were too woozy to pay attention, but they managed to cure your fever and injuries with one of their grinded gemstone potions. You've been napping for an hour."

Audrey sat up on the bed but she still felt massive pain. "Why do I feel like nearly every tissue in me is breaking?" She groaned. The Bloody Bambi walked over and gave her licks on the back of her hand. She responded by affectionately caressing it.

"I never said the Trolls' remedy wouldn't be painful." Willywaffle rolled his eyes. "Then again, what modern medicine isn't painful?"

Beatrice gave Audrey a glass of water. Despite her throat not being Audrey, thirst was overwhelming and Audrey drank it all in one gulp. "I'm really sorry, Audrey," Beatrice spoke up. "I couldn't help you when Indimia attacked…" Fortunately, Audrey managed to silence her with a hug. It didn't stop the waterworks coming from Beatrice.

"How do you feel mentally?" Crystal asked Audrey once the hug was over.

"Like I screwed up big time…" Audrey bit her lip. "What exactly did I do before the train hit me?"

While Willywaffle and Gothy grimaced at their responsibility with the train, Crystal struggled with the words. "You… might have… totally gone Super-Audrey on Indimia…"

"And if I hadn't shouted, you would have killed Indimia." Beatrice lowered her head. "And because I caught your attention, Indimia and her mom ran away and you got hit by the train."

Audrey's eyes twitched as she processed their words. "Please tell me that my hair wasn't completely pink…" She begged.

"Yeah, cupcake frosting pink isn't really a good color for you, but you were terrifying. Why?"

"I don't believe this!" Audrey dropped herself on her pillow. "I turned into the Queen of Mean, again!"

"Uh, recap a bit because we didn't witness the prequel," Willywaffle pointed out.

Audrey stared at Gothy, silently asking her to fill him in. Gothy nodded and proceeded: "Back in the Land-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named, Audrey had… a problem that really stung, she wasn't exactly getting the support she needed, so she didn't hesitate to join me on my quest to find my sister."

"Long story short, her family told her she had to be with this guy because it would boost her family's status, thanks to Granny she grew up to be spoiled and vain, then the guy dumped her for the daughter of the lady who hated her parents, she lost her popularity, then her ex proposed to her rival, her grandmother made her feel like shit, and a magic stick corrupted her into a psycho who nearly destroyed the land, her rival knocked her back to her senses, she nearly died in her sleep, and after she was saved, nearly everyone grew to hate her, and here we are." Crystal summarized just like that.

"WHY did I turn into the Queen of Mean?" Audrey panicked. "I thought I moved on after the coaching, the scent extraction, and the entire road trip!"

"I did tell you on your first day of magic lessons that emotions have an impact on magic!" Crystal pointed out. "Your guilt as the Queen of Mean prevented you from concentrating until you moved on, but because you were dealing with massive levels of anger, rejection, hatred, and anger and it lured you to the magic stick, your powers must now associate negative feelings with nuclear-level magic outbursts!"

"But I didn't go psycho when I beat the guts out of Vincent Salt!" Audrey protested.

"To be fair, on the levels of murdering capacity, Vincent's more of a playground bully where murder is a genuine accident. Indimia Rex? Scale 12 for humanitarian diet and sport-hunting with other dinosaurs." Willywaffle calmly stared at the girls. "Beatrice is half-ghost. She can endure a mere black eye, but Indimia Rex could have made sure that Beatrice's human-half had a one-way ticket to her new home in Hell."

"And she made it sound like it would entertain her…" Audrey realized. "No wonder I was enraged…" She shook her head. "I don't want to keep talking about this. What's next in the agenda?"

"The Troll lands had the train complications due to turf wars in the east, but a train should be available this Friday to take us straight to the Seussian lands in less than a day." Beatrice gestured her hands at Gothy, Crystal, Audrey, the Bloody Bambi, and herself.

"I called my acquaintances in the Troll lands," Willywaffle added. "They're fine with letting you stay at their place until you 5 leave."

"Considering the reasons of your visit, they must be super generous!" Beatrice snickered.

"Shut up!"

Minutes later

After soaking her face and getting back in her clothes, Audrey followed the others as they headed to the terminal. She clutched on to her cloak, still shaken by what had occurred.

For personal reasons, Gothy thought it was preferable to not bring up the complication with Charles. Last thing they wanted was for Audrey to freak out about a bounty hunter from Auradon.

The foreigners stepped in on the hovering devices, which, for some reason, looked very much like musical records. After the last passenger got on board, the floating records moved in a line towards the exit. Audrey, Gothy, and Crystal were curious as to where they were heading until the exit of the station revealed what was on the other side of the hill.

Willywaffle, Beatrice, and the Bloody Bambi weren't very stunned due to familiarity, but Crystal was stunned, Gothy nearly lost her jaw, and Audrey thought that her old kingdom was a shrimp compared to this massive reef of colors. Honestly, at this rate, the Troll lands could be bigger than Auradon itself. Nearly every hill, valley, and mountain was occupied by vibrant-colored buildings shaped like instruments, neon-colored aquatic-themed nightclubs, rock-colored skyscrapers and arenas, operas and mansions of golden paint and cottony gardens, sandy suburban houses and ranches, countless green trees with apartments carved within them and glowing pods hanging from the branches, and far too many themed and colored buildings. There wasn't a street, building, or public area where music wasn't bursting and echoing everywhere, it was as if the atmosphere had turned into an orchestra of endless music. Audrey wanted to cry.

Some of the floating records made stops to drop of the visitors. While the record where the group was standing on kept floating, Audrey definitely noticed the colorful humanoid creatures that rushed to greet the visitors or drag them into their parties.

"I can't believe this is the first time I come to the Troll lands!" Crystal geeked.

"You never came here?" Gothy asked.

"No. I've had some Trolls who occasionally stop by at my parties, but it's only during their annual scouting of the Fae Moorways."

"I should bring up the ground rules." Willywaffle clasped his hands together. "Audrey, Gothy, whatever you do, not a single word about where you came from!"

"Believe me, after the train incident, I'm not in a rush!" Audrey reassured him.

"This ain't Macabretown where your sad stories are going to get you pity! Trolls HATE the Land-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named! You don't talk about it, you don't think about it, and don't you even dare SING a song from Auradon! ANY!"

"What happened to the last Auradonian guy you knew who dared to sing an Auradonian song?" Audrey dared to ask.

"The last time I knew an Auradonian refugee, he dared to sing 'It's a Small World After All' during a karaoke night… and the Trolls made sure he'd be grey for life!" Willywaffle gestured the unhappy facial expression he made. "Trolls go gray when they're beyond unhappy. It's like being damned for life, but when a Troll manages to turn a human gray... the guy I knew is still living in a mental hospital somewhere in the east."

Audrey and Gothy shuddered. Hopefully it couldn't be worse than when Beatrice's parents had panicked when the latter brought up normality during her depression. "So when do we get off to meet your acquaintances?" Crystal asked.

The answer came when the floating record approached the heart of the Troll lands, a massive circular patch of land circled by six impressive buildings taller than the mountains in the distance: a dark estate with volcanic fountains, a mansion of coral pillars and neon cements, a theater with instrument-shaped windows and cotton gold curtains, a giant orange saloon, a shining black-and white estate with bright mural patterns in the gardens, and a giant green palace with numerous balconies made of roots, colorful flowers growing from the ground, leaves that glowed like emeralds under the sunset, and a diversity of blue, pink, and purple pods hanging from the branches, glowing and making everything look like a giant Christmas tree.

It was at the tree palace that the floating record went to and landed safely in a courtyard. The group got off just in time to see two Trolls, a male and a female, talking to an Oompa-Loompa and noticing the group. Both wore green-colored regalia with glitter, blue accents, and nature-themed crowns. The main differences between them were the male's blue skin and hair pigmentation rivaling the female's wild pink complexion and his general expression of waiting for the world to end while she looked a bit too optimistic.

"Oh my…" Crystal nearly ran out of breath. "The king and queen of the Pop Trolls! They're legendary! Willywaffle, are your acquaintances associated to the royal family?"

"Actually…" Willywaffle didn't get to answer Crystal's question. The royalty had already made their way and the queen was the first to hug him. To the girls' surprise (minus Beatrice), he actually returned the hug.

"Thank goodness you're alright!" The queen spoke in relief. "We were worried sick when the Oompa-Loompas showed up without you!"

"Has everyone recovered?" The king asked, genuinely concerned as well.

"Nobody got killed, thankfully." Willywaffle nodded once the queen stopped hugging him. "You didn't tell her, did you?"

"Of course not!" The king shook his head. "The last thing I'd need is for her to get a panic attack! You know how Sundays are busy for her."

"Are these your friends? We're already familiar with Beatrice. How are your parents doing?" The queen asked Beatrice excitedly.

"You know. Alive." Beatrice's casual shrug resulted with an amused chuckle from the king. "I'm really sorry for the trouble we're causing you by being extra guests for the next four days. Rest assured, we'll be out of your hair."

"Don't be silly!" The queen said. "You know the Trolls are open to more guests! I take it we have the presence of another royalty among us?"

Fortunately for Audrey and Gothy, the queen was obviously referring to Crystal, who immediately curtsied before the royal couple. "Crystal Maze, daughter of Jareth the Goblin King. I can't even begin to describe how honored I am to meet you! Many of your scouts have dropped by the Underground reciting the tales of the Troll lands and the Ring of Six that lead the other clans!" The royal couple bowed back. "So," Crystal went back to being casual, "I'm heard Willywaffle here has associations among the royal court! I guess it explains why you were expecting us!"

"Naturally. Willywaffle is well-related to our family," the king spoke up. "We're his primary Troll acquaintances."

"And if things work out well in the next four days, he'll be your primary dinner guest for the next seventy-years of his life," Beatrice joked. That only got a nervous grin from the queen, a skeptical look from the king, and a stressed expression on Willywaffle's face.

"I didn't get it." Audrey stared at Gothy.

"OK, maybe I should rephrase this…" Willywaffle smiled nervously. "Your Highnesses, these are Beatrice's friends strictly, Crystal Maze, Gothy, Audrey, and the Bloody Bambi. Beatrice's friends, these are the King and Queen of Pop, King Branch and Queen Poppy. They're also… the parents of my girlfriend."