Chapter 19: Princess of Pop & Mayor Jr. Of Country

Sure enough, Willywaffle knew his way around the Pop Palace very well and led the girls straight to the suite that King Branch and Queen Poppy were allowing them to stay in. True to her word, Beatrice collapsed on one of fuzzy green beds and her snores nearly agitated the critters acting as light bulbs on the root-themed chandelier.

"How the heck is it POSSIBLE that you're the boyfriend of the Princess of Pop?" Crystal exclaimed, for she was still too stunned. Gothy and Audrey contended themselves with organizing their luggage in the closet. "She's… realistically open-minded, adventurous, and a walking jukebox! You're… a candy-themed grouch who never takes a break from insulting anyone!"

Willywaffle just stared at Crystal in an unaffected expression. "You can imagine why the King was so thrilled when I first started dating her."

"Opposites attract?" Audrey guessed.

"Bingo." Willywaffle paced around the room, tightening his grip on his cane. "And… I took this trip to the Troll lands because after two years of dating, I'm ready to propose to her."

You'd think it was Crystal who'd be the most shocked, but surprisingly, it was Audrey who took the hit. Her gut agitated at the reminder of how she felt outplaced when Ben had proposed to Mal.

"How old is she?" Gothy asked.

"Twenty-two. She's nearly the same age as me."

"Uh. Isn't she past the date when most princes or princesses take up the throne? Back in the Land-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named, the main monarch was crowned at sixteen."

"Interesting. Let me explain." Willywaffle moved to the window and pulled back the curtains, showing the kingdom that never ended its festivities. "Trolls vary depending on their musical genres. They used to be sorted into individual tribes, but after the Exodus from the Land-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named, they rebuilt the Troll Kingdom and organized a government called the Ring of Six…"

"Pop, Rock, Funk, Techno, Country, and Classical." Crystal listed.

"Primary genres where the monarchs form a sort of council where they determine the laws to preserve the cultural heritage and safety of all Trolls. Other genres have clan chiefs who show up as guests during the Ring of Six's meetings to bring in their perspectives, and while the adults do that, their kids help the people out," Willywaffle finished his explanation. "To make it clear, the leaders rule their specific genres, but they rule together to protect the Trolls. Example, King Branch and Queen Poppy specifically rule the Pop Troll but they engage with the other monarchs to protect all Trolls. And their daughter, my girlfriend, constantly fills up her schedule to make sure that she helps out any Troll in need. It's like her daily training to prepare for when she'll be Queen."

"Which is when?" Gothy asked.

"When her parents think she's ready and they pass their crown to her." Willywaffle hesitated. "Or if something bad happened to her, they could easily wait until her brother Shamrock is ready."

"Shamrock's still a baby…" Beatrice yawned out the words before snoring again.

"Why do you even ask?" Willywaffle asked Gothy. "I'm not interested in her title, if that's what you're wondering."

"Because ironically, I miss a structured-government with authorities," Gothy responded drily. "Considering how you beat the living daylights out of a family rivals, boss around a bunch of happy slaves, and probably have enough cash to get away with how you practically damaged the train with your caramel, I'm surprised that a royal figure would date someone who screws the rules because of his wealth."

"It's the United States of Anarchy. Who doesn't screw the rules because they have cash?" Willywaffle shrugged. "Look, you three had better act casual. My girlfriend has no idea that I came here and she'll only find out at tonight's dinner. When she's not overly stressed with her duties and when we get a private moment, I'll propose to her."

"You're not going to do it in public?" Crystal asked. "Wouldn't all the Trolls be thrilled to see one of the royal heirs being proposed to in public so that way, when she says yes, balloons and confetti fly everywhere?"

"Do I look like I want to be publically humiliated if she says no?"

The trio was too busy talking, they didn't notice Audrey tightening her grip as she struggled to stay calm.

"I mean, think of the 50% chances that she decides to say no and thinks we're better off dating than engaged, or worse, if she decides it's too embarrassing and we might be better off as friends instead of a couple!" Willywaffle freaked out. "Why do you think I brought tribute from Macabretown?"

Gothy and Crystal stared at one another in disbelief. "Emotional eating in case you break up or the dessert menu for the engagement party?" Gothy frowned. "Now you're just sad. Seriously, Audrey did better when…" That's when Gothy turned and noticed that Audrey was struggling and her hair was becoming pink.

"Pink Fingers! Snap out of it!" Crystal took the fastest approach and slapped Audrey in the face. The hit was hard enough for Audrey to get back to her blonde self.

"Can you guys shut up?" Audrey begged.

"What happened?" Beatrice jumped on her bed.

"Audrey, what's wrong?" Gothy checked Audrey's aching forehead. "This is getting insane! Your anger is consuming you!"

"I'm sorry!" Audrey's voice broke. "I was really happy but Willywaffle's talk about proposing to his girlfriend just reminded me how angry I was when Ben proposed to Mal… and my grandmother thought I was useless… and I was all alone… and… well, you know!"

"I'm sorry, Audrey." Willywaffle nodded without an inch of dryness. "I should have paid attention and stopped when you were getting uncomfortable…"

"But I don't want to be uncomfortable!" Audrey whined. "I'm not supposed to feel anything since the scent extraction practically took away any opinion of Auradon besides bitterness… Oh." Just like that, Audrey found her answer. "I'm in trouble. Maybe I should stay in here and wait until we catch the train…"

"Are you nuts?" Gothy snapped. "I took my history lessons and you will not go all-Elsa on me! Bottling yourself and your emotions is like creating a Pandora Box that's waiting to be opened and flood the world with years of bottled emotions!"

"Besides, I told you that Trolls hate Auradon," Willywaffle pointed out. "And King Branch is literally the leading expert on paranoia. If a visitor who happens to be an Auradonian refugee refuses to interact for even a day with these folk, he will literally develop conspiracy theories that Auradon has sent spies. Besides, Trolls are experts at handling emotions. So you need to come out there starting at dinner and make friends with them!"

Later

Audrey still felt nervous as they dressed up in the evening attires provided by the Trolls and joined the gathering in the royal gardens. When Willywaffle meant dinner, he mostly meant a potluck where all the cooks from the Ring of Six brought in a diversity of food to the table: seaweed sandwiches, roasted lambs with golden potatoes, barbecues and burgers, floral salads, hot beverage fountains, glittery juices and rainbow-colored pastries. Thank goodness the Pop royalty wasn't the only one with a diversity of non-Troll guests.

"I feel like I'm on the Isle again," Gothy said when they saw the Trolls belonging to the six chief genres: rainbow-colored Pop, punk-fashioned Rock, cowboy centaur Country, chubby cherub Classical, neon mermaid Techno, and tinsel-ornated giraffe Funk. "I'm hallucinating."

"You sure?" Willywaffle checked around. "I don't see any Smooth Jazz Trolls…"

"No, I'm serious. I think I'm seeing a cloud riding a purple butterfly and a giant turtle running and break-dancing at the same time!" Gothy pointed at something approaching the party with fast speed. To Gothy's surprise, rather than running for cover, the attendants made way and cheered as the car-sized critters hit the break. Sure enough, they were a giant purple butterfly and a black turtle, but the butterfly was overwhelmed by glitter causing its wings to shine and the already-deranged tortoise had spikes on its shell and graffiti shouting out the words 'ROCK N' ROLL' or 'ROCKINGTROLLTOISE NOT RESPONSE FOR BYSTANDERS BEHEADED BY BREAKDANCING!"

"Told you we wouldn't be late!" A Troll girl jumped off the ROCKINGTROLLTOISE. Her dull-blue skin stood out thanks to her red-tattered shirt, ripped jeans, and fingerless red gloves. She wore at least five earrings, four spiked bracelets, and her neck had a visible tattoo. Her height was hard to determine due to her giant red and black braid sticking out from the middle of her shaved head. From the way Willywaffle had explained, her description fit the general appearance of the Rock Trolls.

The Troll girl who stepped down from the butterfly, on the other hand, felt like a punching insult to Audrey. It didn't take her ten seconds to catch that the twenty-two-year-old, human sized Troll girl was Wilywaffle's girlfriend. Still, the sight felt like a slap. Purple skin like a glittery gumdrop candy, pink and blue hair tied up with a bluish elastic like a colorful geyser, blue eyes that matched those of King Branch only shining like a fountain of clear water, and purple lips rivaling the petals of a gladiolus. With her puffy-skirted blue dress with sewn purple beads forming clouds, her rainbow girdle, her teal leggings, her vine-fashioned green sandals, and her floral-jewelry ranging from her bracelets and earrings to her modest tiara, it was almost like witnessing the reincarnation of all weather and seasons into one form. The un-lighted torch she carried around like a hand scepter seemed so flexible, yet gave away a sign of friendliness due to the glitter cinders trailing out of it. Just seeing that girl made Audrey envious. In less than one second, the universe had thrown her bad karma by showing her everything she never was as a princess back in Auradon. In less than one second, the universe had decided to rub it in her face that if the Queen of Mean had a good counterpart, it would have been the Troll Princess of Pop.

King Branch and Queen Poppy went to hug their daughter. A small Troll with green skin and pink-and-blue hair popped out of the Queen's hair; best guess due to his small clothing, he was Prince Shamrock, the baby of the Pop family. And of course, the companion of the Pop princess was the first to notice the group.

"Yo, Glad! Your boy toy is here!" She called out.

"I told you to stop calling him that!" 'Glad' told her friend before running to embrace Willywaffle, who didn't hesitate to lift her up in the air. "You're here!"

"Always when you least expect it, Gladie!" Willywaffle put her back on the ground.

"Hi, Gladiola." Beatrice waved.

"Bea! I'm so glad you came!" The girls also hugged. "I don't believe it! Just when my day got bad, my friends make it better!"

"Wait." Willywaffle raised his hand. "Is this something I should know?"

"Not unless you want the details to sicken your perspectives on good tastes." Gladiola shook her head.

"What's with the girl band you tagged along?" The Rock Troll leaned over at the others. "An 80s cosplayer, a goth mom, and… a run-over bombshell?"

"Excuse me?" That was one slang she was actually familiar with in Auradon, way before Mal and her gang had come to Auradon Prep, one student had insulted as 'a bigger bombshell than Sleeping Beauty.' This wasn't a compliment but an insult; the student had implied that Audrey matched her mother in useless stupidity and beauty, if not a bit worse. Sure, with the way things have been going, Audrey did sort of agree with others' lousy perspectives on Sleeping Beauty, but still, calling Audrey a run-over bombshell?

"Sorry, that's Ozzy for you." Gladiola gently pulled Ozzy away. "Princess of Rock. She speaks up before thinking."

"I couldn't tell," Audrey replied sarcastically. "I think I'm just going to make myself scarce at the Scrapbooking Table. I wouldn't want to be run over by your giant tortoise and go from a dumb bombshell to an empty shell." To that, she stormed off to the table where some Trolls did scrapbooking and other arts & crafts, unnoticed by the other party members.

"You have got fifty-nine minutes to come up with a decent apology, Osborne!" Gladiola glared at Ozzy, who lowered her ears in embarrassment when Crystal and Gothy laughed their heads off at the embarrassing first name.

Thirty-nine minutes later

Audrey was still at the Scrapbooking table, lashing out her frustration through sketching rather than having her hair turn pink. She had to admit, she was getting too graphic with sketching out the people she disliked the most: Vincent Salt getting punched by a kaiju-squirrel, Indima Rex getting slammed by a train, and now, she sketched Ozzy getting knocked out by a chainsaw-shaped guitar. Lifting up her head did not help make things better. Crystal and Beatrice were fully engaging with the others, Gothy had even joined some group dancing, and of course, Willywaffle and Gladiola were dancing together. Just seeing them move around happily made Audrey unhappy. They clearly had what Audrey realized she never had with Ben. Real love. Willywaffle actually looked happy and Gladiola looked so lovingly at him without a pinch of clinginess. The Princess of Pop was definitely everything Audrey never was as a princess, and in a matter of hours, that couple would be off to their own happily ever after.

At this rate, Audrey could hope that 'being just Beatrice's friend' would be enough for them to forget inviting Audrey at their wedding.

"Very nice visuals ya got there."

Audrey jumped in startle. A Country Troll had popped up out of nowhere, and judging by his position, he had been looking at the sketches from over Audrey's shoulder. "At this rate, you could consider a career as a poster designer."

"Uh, thanks. I don't often draw violent stuff," Audrey said. It was amazing how, despite his grass green horse-bottom half, the Country Troll's forehead was only a few centimeters higher than Audrey's. His red hair was pulled back in a ponytail that only reached his shoulders, the same length applying to his tail. A denim vest covered his green and white plaid shirt and his white cap bared the golden sewn words 'MOMMA'S WEE SHERIFF'.

"Momma's Wee Sheriff?" Audrey couldn't resist giggling.

"Embarrassing token of her affection, but it's lucky. Never go on a rodeo without it." He gestured to the spot where most of the leading Troll monarchs were cheerfully drinking and chatting. "My ma's the leader of the Country Trolls."

"So you're the Prince of Country?"

"More like Mayor Jr. It's a gig carried from parent to child. Name's Cyrus Dawn." He held out his hand. "Yours?"

"Uh… Audrey." Audrey shook his hand, which felt rather tough. He clearly boxed. "Ironically, it means 'noble strength' and I'm a wreck."

"It's also the name of jazz singer Audrey Morris," Cyrus Dawn grinned before darting his eyes back at the sketches. "At least you're expressing your frustration on paper than at Ozzy. She doesn't mean poorly, but she ain't exactly a Troll of respectful hospitality."

"I guess." Audrey stared back at her sketch of Ozzy. "I just don't like being called a bombshell. And she called me a run-over bombshell."

"To be fair, you do have notable bruises." He indicated some faint bruises on Audrey's exposed right arm, which she hadn't even noticed. "And for a champ like her to run around on Elvis when he spins on his own shell, she can tell when something got run-over."

"From people she ran into?"

"No." Cyrus Dawn turned serious. "I lost track of the times she broke her bones." He shook his head. "So what kind of music are you into?"

Audrey remembered what Willywaffle said about Trolls hating Auradonian music. "I can't really determine." She shook her head. "I don't want to accidentally offend you."

Cyrus Dawn nodded with a small smile. "It's understandable. You clearly went through some hardships; I can tell by the way ya hold yourself back that you dealt with things that make ya more aware of others' sentiments."

"And also the other way around." Audrey gestured.

"Then I reckon you might like jam a bit with the Country Trolls. Let's skedaddle." Cyrus Dawn brought Audrey up her seat and had her follow him to a part of the party where some Country Trolls and other guests were getting ready for a musical exchange. One of the Country Trolls tossed a banjo at Cyrus Dawn, who pounced and grabbed it with his hands.

"Who is the human?" A Classical Troll with messy blue-and-white hair looked up from his seat.

"Play nice, Trollthoven," Cyrus Dawn warned. "Audrey's new here and we're going to help her welcome by having her be our vocalist for this line dance."

Audrey stared at him in surprise. "But I don't know any Country songs!"

"We don't know all the right words, but they come and go." Cyrus Dawn played around the strings of his banjo. "We may sound mournful when we sing, but it's because we display sympathy for life's obstacles. Just ask yourself… What have you learned?" He continued playing. It was such a harmonious melody, Audrey had to make sure she sat properly. She thought of what she had learned, and as the Trolls stared at her, it came out.

Audrey: I never could say what I should be sayin'

I thought I should take the way others told to go.

I never took the time to think

That maybe my heart could be able to say no.

I look for a sense in life, now I know well.

I learned from life that I do not crumble

I learned that strength is something you choose.

All of the reasons to keep on believing.

There's no question, that's a lesson, that I learned from life.

The party members reacted well, especially the Country Trolls, who started the line dancing. Cyrus Dawn smiled proudly as he played his banjo.

Cyrus Dawn: Trolls always don't agree on

What is the best way

To be heard afar while we're staying here.

But Trolls can really trust you, and give you the guidance

To make decisions without any fear.

Audrey and Cyrus Dawn: I'm grateful for the times

Trolls opened my eyes.

I learned from life that I do not crumble

I learned that strength is something you choose.

All of the reasons to keep on believing.

There's no question, that's a lesson, that I learned from life.

Audrey: I don't want to look back.

I think I'm on the right track.

I have no plan in my head

But I'll follow fate ahead.

Cyrus Dawn: We're born to die

But the story doesn't just lie.

Fate has challenges like a snake pit

So you move to follow it.

Audrey and Cyrus Dawn:

I learned from life that I do not crumble

I learned that strength is something you choose.

All of the reasons to keep on believing.

There's no question, that's a lesson, that I learned from life.

The Trolls exchanged some applause.

"How'd you feel now?" Cyrus Dawn put down the banjo on a table.

"Less like punching myself." Audrey casually shrugged. Trollthoven came with three crystal glasses on hand, each full of a sizzling yellow beverage.

"Pollen Ale, anyone?" He asked. "We just had them imported from the Fae Realm this morning."

"Don't mind if I do." Cyrus Dawn took two of the glasses and handed one to Audrey.

"It's not alcoholic, is it?" Audrey asked with caution.

"Strictly a sugary beverage crafted out of the pollen of seventy different flowers from the Fae Realm," Trollthoven assured her. "Besides, Cyrus and I are underage; our parents would murder someone if they found out that alcoholic beverages were brought to dinner."

This reassured Audrey and she gladly accepted the glass offered by Cyrus Dawn. Trollthoven said that Pollen Ale was made of diverse flower pollen, but Audrey felt like she just drank a massive compilation of soda and juice flavors. She had to pinch her nose when she felt the bubbles moving upward and swallowed it back in. "Really fizzy."

"Wow. You beat my record!"

Audrey and Cyrus Dawn weren't surprised to see Ozzy sitting on the table closest to them, but Trollthoven spit out his Pollen Ale. "Were you trolling again, Osborne?" He exclaimed. "You know I hate that!"

"Not every second of my free time is dedicated to trolling you around, Drama Pants," Ozzy pointed out. "And don't call me Osborne!"

Audrey held up a laugh. "Drama Pants and Osborne?"

"Embarrassing first names run in her family." Cyrus Dawn then exclaimed: "Isn't that right, Princess Osborne Rockenburg, daughter of Queen Barbara?"

Ozzy rolled her eyes and ignored Cyrus Dawn's teasing. "I'm sorry if my nickname has offended you," she told Audrey. "It's a force of habit."

"It's OK." Audrey shrugged. "I just overreacted because minus the run over part, I had bad experiences of being nicknamed 'bombshell' back where I'm from."

"Eesh. Gender stereotyping?"

"Try family comparison."

The three royal Troll heirs quickly got the picture and both let out a grossed out 'yuck'. "They thought you'd be as stereotypically described as your mother or something?" Trollthoven was disgusted.

"To be fair, that was before I dyed my hair..." Audrey pointed at her hair. "And to be fair, I had a… rough transition from snobby, rich high school girl to… I don't know what I am."

"Kickass Madonna? Bully Wrestler? Ooh, Dinomaggedon!" Ozzy suggested more nicknames, only to confuse the guys. "What? Deetz told me she kicked butt since left the Trash Land!"

"I don't disagree. My old home was trash," Audrey nodded while thinking that Ozzy's ideas for nicknames actually sounded like the decent work of an expert.

"Was it your rough transitioning that led you to leave those monster-reigned territories?" Trollthoven asked.

Audrey frowned. "Monsters?"

"Yes. 'Monsters' is how we Trolls refer to the monarchs of your old home."

Audrey knew it had to be serious. The captain of the ferryboat said the Auradonian monarchs had stripped lands and forced people to accept their ideals, Crystal and many others had made it clear that Auradonian monarchs were taboo in their lands, and Lydia Deetz had told her how they didn't care if Beetlejuice was reformed, they were willing to separate the married couple. "What did they do again?"

"It's not what they did, it's what they tried to do," Cyrus Dawn said quietly. "They failed, and that's why the month of October is considered an annual celebration of liberation in the Eastern territories. For us Trolls, it's the celebration of how the Pop King Branch saved all Trolls from the monsters... by murdering King Stefan."