Chapter 21: Things Go Downhill

"We are… SO DEAD!"

Audrey lost count of how many times Crystal had declared their doom after last night's dinner party. Crystal kept repeating it from the moment she woke up to when she came out of the shower. "We're dead! I knew it! YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF SIDE EFFECTS WHEN YOU TOOK THAT STUPID SCEPTER, PINK FINGERS!"

"You might be overreacting…" Audrey failed to calm down Crystal. She cringed when Crystal looked like she wanted to strangle her; Gothy had to hold back Crystal before she could do any harm.

"Hold on, Crystal! Maybe Audrey might be right. After all, he did let us go and tipped us on getting Audrey's Auradonian stench off. Perhaps he'll keep a low profile today…"

"It would take a miracle if he hasn't told his girlfriend 'Hey, love of my life, guess what? I told an Auradonian princess to remove her stench and nobody knows she's a walking pig surrounded by clueless butchers!'" Crystal clenched her teeth. "You must not underestimate that witch! She created the mist, is nearly responsible for the origins of a multitude of villains, and crossing her would guarantee a one-way ticket to Hell!"

Audrey grimaced. Deep down, she knew that Crystal was right. At this rate, if the Fae Realm Prince discovered their presence today, his suspicious nature would rise again. But at the same time, if they didn't make themselves known, the Trolls would be the ones getting suspicious and Willywaffle would probably be ripping his hair out because he predicted this could happen.

"I could just turn myself over…" Audrey sighed. "At any rate, they're bound to find out…"

"Sure, and why don't we wave a flag that says 'arrest us all as traitors because we were in on it'?" Crystal was on the verge of exploding.

"Or!" Beatrice raises her hand. "Nobody has to be suspicious of anyone if Audrey is bedridden…"

"Beatrice, we can't fake an illness! That'll double the suspicions!"

"Wow, you spent too much time outside the Underground!" Beatrice hovered and tapped Crystal's forehead. "You, magic." Continuing to use the tone people use on dumb individuals, Beatrice gestured a fruit bowl resting on one of the tables. "Fruit, hex. Audrey puke and everyone buys it because she's actually sick."

Crystal's eyes twitched in fury. "Beatrice Betelgeuse Morticia Lydia Deetz, are you trying to propose that I break my ethics and go all-Jareth? If we weren't friends, I'd be teleporting you to the Bog of Eternal Stench and then back to Macabretown, not even your anti-hygienic paternal would want you in his house!"

"Uh… what's the 'all-Jareth'?" Audrey nervously asked.

"It's this thing that my dad did on Sarah back in the 80s, where he had her drugged with an enchanted peach to stall her quest. The fact that he took advantage to dance with a teenager while she was hallucinating creeps me out! The moment I started learning the basics of solemn oaths, I swore that as long as I live, I'd never stoop that low!"

"And this comes from a hedonistic party animal." Gothy rolled her eyes.

"That's different, Gorgeous. I respect your boundaries, I like you as a person, I'd rather take a bog swim if I drugged you with a fruit, and there's a decent age gap between us whereas with…" Crystal shuddered in disgust.

"OK, I agree with Beatrice's idea but let's not break your ethics," Audrey reassured Crystal. "Maybe I can shoot myself with a sickness spell. Is there a spell I can cast that's not lethal but we'll keep me in bed either until they leave or when we leave tomorrow?"

Crystal and Beatrice grimaced. "Um, there is one…" Beatrice bit her lip. "The Fae Pox."

"Crazy rash, fever, cramps, diarrhea, vomiting, itching, leg hair loss, constant sneezing, and the curing side effect of swelling in certain body parts." Crystal shuddered. "I swear, when you recover, you'll be energy drained for who knows how long!"

"We might have to move you around in a wheelchair."

"Who cares?" Audrey was getting impatient. "How do I cast it on myself? Is there something I say like 'I don't want my secret out of the box, may I be cursed with Fae Pox'?" Audrey then realized she made the grave mistake of pointing at herself. A jot of pink magic moved from her finger to her face and the next thing she knew, she was viciously scratching herself and making a run for the bathroom. The girls and the Bloody Bambi cringed at the ghastly sounds coming from the bathroom.

"WHY IS THERE CHURNY LEFTOVERS COMING OUT OF MY PIPES?" King Branch's screaming voice could be heard coming from many levels below.

"Ugh. Audrey's magic is spreading like wildfire," Crystal felt like things were hopeless. "It went on and messed up the indoor plumbing."

"And at bad timing!" Beatrice checked the window. "De Mort's carriage is already outside!"

Later

It probably took only five seconds for Penna De Mort to snap her fingers and fix the clogging problem, but it felt like eternity as Crystal and Beatrice were too afraid of ceasing their bowing. Gothy was used to bowing to others, but now she could understand why Penna De Mort was more terrifying than Maleficent. The eternal teenager could snap or cast at her leisure, talk to snakes, and get a handle on people through contracts. Still, she kept the composure of a civilized person. As for Marius Bogfae, the emotions were mixed. Gothy and Crystal were fearful that he might spill the beans and Beatrice feared a one-way ticket to Hell.

"So… you're one of the refugees of Auradon." Gothy felt the sweat going down her neck as the sorceress stood before her, a massive snake resting on her shoulders. "I've heard that many of the refugees that permanently settle in these lands are mostly commoners, but I did notice a surge in former prisoners of the Isle of the Lost coming along. Mostly Huns and second-hand pirates, but now I get the complete set of Gothel's children."

"I… take it you're familiar with Cassandra and Charles, ma'am?" Gothy cautiously asked.

"Quite." Penna shrugged. "You've obviously got your sister's sense of ditching the concept of vanity and your half-brother, though maybe a bit over the edge, is actually quite progressive."

"Progressive?" Gothy tilted her head up. "He barely got here and he sabotaged the train wheels before we got here and spent the next minutes trying to kill us all! I had to wish Crystal to get him away!"

"Oh!" Penna realized with a grin. "That explains why Jessie said she saw a gargoyle carrying him to Villainapolis at 4pm! What a relief! For a moment, I worried she jumped in a chemical bin and forgot that gargoyles are nocturnal creatures that sleep during the day… or, you know, that you imagine as alive because you actually have mental problems!" Marius Bogfae chuckled at her joke. "But still…" Penna continued to smirk proudly. "He backstabs Auradon through a tantrum and five seconds after I give him a ride, he drops the façade! Who would have thought that the son of a bigot would be the best comedian from the other side, am I right? Still, very progressive. Were you aware that your half-brother was bi?"

Gothy blinked. That was something she was unfamiliar with. "We… were too focused on murdering each other."

"Ain't that sweet. The opposites of your folks and you both share a passion for murder and sexuality. I'm serious, you should be proud." Penna finally stopped grinning to speak in sincerity. "No wonder you ran away."

Gothy was relieved when Queen Poppy finally addressed Penna De Mort, taking the uncomfortable weight off her. "I'm sorry if Gladiola isn't here right now. She woke up Willywaffle at dawn to take car of some early demands to ensure that today's Liberation Celebration would be to your liking."

"My tribute of Troll gemstones, snake-themed fireworks, and naturally the permit for Feige and Dårlig to pull in their food truck?" Penna asked.

Just like that, Beatrice began drooling. Crystal had to punch her in the stomach to regain her senses. "What?" Beatrice whined. "They own the best diner-chain in the lands! Do you have ANY idea how delicious their Groot beer floats are?"

"Of course I'm aware!" Crystal hissed.

"So… Gothy…" Marius tapped his fingers while his arms were crossed. Without the Living Tar, he was still as scary as ever. "Where's your blonde friend with the disturbing Rudolph?"

"Upstairs and sick…" Naturally, Gothy found herself contradicted. The elevator door dinged and Ozzy came out, pushing a Rock wheelchair with Audrey in it. Despite being cleaned and brushed, Audrey was awfully woozy and delirious…

"OWLS and SONGBIRDS…" Audrey deliriously sang.

"OZZY! Why'd you take her out of bed?" King Branch panicked. "And why is she in one of your grandfather's wheelchairs?"

"I owed her a new coat after last night. What you think?" Ozzy gestured to the coat. Sure enough, she had managed to spend the entire night fashioning Audrey's coat into a frock coat that could be turned over from the original blue side to a darker version covered in Rock leather. On the leather, Ozzy had managed to sew the Techno threads and Classical doilies to create motifs of flying birds at the bottom of the coat, the Funk flowers covered by Pop glitter on the sleeves, and the Country buttons where buttons usually go on this kind of coat. Ozzy had also taken the liberty of helping Audrey put on her vest from the Watchful Highlands and the pants from Macabretown, which went superbly with the new coat.

"Trolls just wanna have… crystals made of fire… GLITTER PONIES!" Audrey's Fae Pox was worsening.

"At this rate, she'll be more delirious than your grandfather!" King Branch told Ozzy.

"How'd she even get Fae Pox?" Marius frowned.

"Accident." Beatrice took the bullet. "You know how my dad and I are, we have a weird habit of hexing engaged people as a coping mechanism for the butterflies following proposals. I tried practicing a Fox Pox hex for Willywaffle, but I mispronounced and gave Audrey the Fae Pox by mistake."

Penna De Mort walked up to Audrey and checked the latter's temperature by tapping her forehead. Gothy kept biting her lip, worried that the sorceress would smite Audrey the moment the latter's identity were to be revealed. "Eh. This is common."

"It is?" Nearly everyone who wasn't a Troll wondered in curiosity.

"It's something stupid that Auradon does: no magic. They put a barrier to keep villains from using magic and they trash-talk their so-called goodie two-shoed civilians that things like books and friendship is the real magic," Penna shrugged. "With refugees running away from those brainwashing totalitarians, I've seen some 'ex-Auradonians' getting severe cases of Fae Pox after they cross the mist. Highly common."

"So… you think she's some kind of Muggle-born?" Marius looked more confused than the others as if he had messed something up big time.

"Obviously. What half-blood, half-breed, or pureblood rants about weirder subjects than people after wisdom teeth removal? Don't worry, I'll fix her in a bit." Penna cracked her knuckles before placing her hands under Audrey's chin and behind her head and forcibly pushing her face forward. Audrey choked out a gasp before spitting out some gunk, jumping off the wheelchair, and gagging a bit more as the Fae Pox symptoms disappeared. "Tada! Problem solved!"

"Audrey!" Gothy yelped as she and Crystal helped her properly stand up. "How are you feeling? Talk to me!"

"Love the coat, Ozzy." Those were the first words that came out of Audrey.

Ozzy gave a big, toothy grin. "I knew you would, Dinomaggedon."

The nickname's mention caused a chuckle to come out of De Mort. "Not a nickname you hear very often."

"It's legit, Your Greatness," Ozzy grinned back at De Mort. "Gladiola's fiancé's trip got delayed due to massive saboteurs and psychopaths. First the Indominus Rex's offspring got beaten up by Dinomaggedon and then Deetz and the others had to deal with a teenage one-army bounty hunter!"

Penna looked confused. "OK, I knew about Charles Frollo being wary with his sister, but why did Indimia Rex attack the train? I told her that I didn't want her to eat anyone on the train while my goddaughter's intended was on it."

"Indimia works for you?" This got Audrey back to her fuller senses. "She ticked me off by threatening to eat Beatrice and Crystal!" Audrey then noticed Marius Bogfae standing behind the sorceress. A massive scowl grew on her face. "Why do I have the feeling that Willywaffle was right about not trusting you?"

"Oh no." Penna turned her head at a 180 degrees angle to face her boyfriend. "Marius, you're the only one I've granted access to my minions during punch clock hours. Have you been taking advantage of my employees WITHOUT my consent AGAIN? Excuse us, folks, we need to have a serious talk. We'll be back for the celebration." She grabbed her boyfriend's hand and teleported them out of the room.

"You sure you want to keep her around as your future grandchildren's godmother?" Ozzy asked King Branch.

"You know what happened to the last idiots who refused to invite a powerful sorceress to a royal baby's birthday party?" The monarch asked skeptically.

"Uh… massive curse that gave both sides years of shame?" Audrey spoke out loud to hide her dread.

"Exactly. The Trolls are already in big debt to her. The last thing we need is for her to lash her anger on us."

Minutes later, elsewhere

"WHAT TO YOU MEAN, YOU TRIED TO FINISH HER OFF?"

Penna had teleported herself and Marius to the Pop Palace's empty roofdeck to finish their conversation. When the sorceress displayed signs of anger, her pet snake slithered off to hide under a table.

"I know, I should have finished her off when I first detected her royal blood, but my sense of being a reasonable authority took the best of me and I let them go," Marius explained without a pinch of fear. "Technically, I had hoped that she wouldn't go through the perfume extraction method, probably if the hydra had managed to eat her, but I still sent the twins to spy on her. And when Maleficent's offspring told us her 'story', I thought that the part of the scepter and Sleeping Beauty's daughter's permanent road trip had some kind of link, so to figure out whether she had the scepter's magic or if she was just a powerful danger, I had the bridge sabotaged and collapsed and technically gave Indimia a tip about the greatest meal she and her mother would ever have. And I purposely convinced you to come to the Liberation Celebration in the hopes that an accident would kill her off. So… can we go kill her?"

"Marius, I adore how you come up with schemes and I love how you try to kill people even when it's not for me, but you should not have killed her!" Penna snapped. "First, there's no way she'd use Maleficent's scepter!"

"What makes you say that?" Marius raised his hand. "For all we know, Mal could have invented that story to hide the fact that it was Audrey and not Mal who took the scepter when it failed. It would mean that Mal would have purposely sabotaged your contract and your father's escape to wreak havoc would all be her fault because she wanted to save the hide of her rival!"

"There's no way she used the scepter." Penna shook her head. "The scepter's magic had a very distinguishable energy signature; my ear drums would be driven nuts if the signature made itself known in the body of someone who doesn't have Maleficent's blood. I can detect powerful magic in Audrey, probably very close to my level, but it has the same energy signature as Auradonian refugees who pop out of the mist with magical skills no longer restrained. You know, like a late bloomer. I swear on the River Styx, Marius, there's no way she touched that scepter."

Marius bit his lip. Penna De Mort was never the sort to lie, and when she swore on the River Styx, she enhanced her honesty. "Besides," Penna continued, "I already cursed her."
This caught the prince's attention. "When?"

"Oh, way before she was born, back when Branch murdered King Stephan when the human made an attempt on baby Gladiola." Penna shrugged. "I cursed his corpse so that any grandchild he has will bear misery to his family by being happy… or be eternally miserable while the rest of the family was happy. A grandson would never reproduce heirs… a granddaughter would find true love in a demon and their happily ever after will come with the demon's reign eternally ruining Sleeping Beauty's family!" Penna began laughing out loud, even the table where her snake hid under shook. "And now she's run away from her family with a manifestation sent by her demon to watch her back? No wonder Auradon was disfigured when we paid a visit!" Penna pulled out a teal-colored agenda from her dress' pocket. "You think we might be able to squeeze another marriage before Gladiola's?"

"You can't be serious… You cursed the next generation with an arranged marriage?" Marius frowned.

"I saw it as karma. You know, like the trash love story of Aurora and Philip. Except, you know, I was imaging true love in the forms of sins, murder, and the look on King Stephan's ghostly face at the idea of having a demon for an in-law!" Penna pondered. "You think I should reach out to my contacts to figure out the cake design?"

"Uh, Viper Eyes?" Marius called her by the affectionate nickname he had given her. "I appreciate that we cleared things up, but… now that we have cleared things up, I don't know how to feel about you acting as the matchmaker to an underage teenager and a demon that she doesn't know. From what I managed to perceive, she hasn't even passed a contract with him and she isn't aware that the red stag accompanying her is actually a manifestation. Aren't you afraid it might be… too much?"

Penna looked at her closed agenda. "You mean, maybe give them more time?"

"Or at least wait until Audrey is 20 to create your plans for the ceremony?" Marius put his hand on Penna's as she held the agenda. "Or, again, wait until she at least enacts a contract?"

"You're probably right." Penna put away her agenda. "Besides, if that merry band is going to find Cassandra and Beatrice Deetz is taking them to the Seussian Lands, they're bound to find out about the peculiar stops that await them between the Seussian Lands and Cassandra's location."

In the evening

Audrey wasn't sure why she hadn't bothered to put on shoes even after the rest she managed to catch, but she ignored the concept and she took care of her hair and makeup before joining the others for the Liberation Celebration.

The Troll Lands were definitely at their most festive, as far as Audrey had seen. The streetlamps were replaced by neon lava lamps, creating trails of rainbow lights all over the kingdom. Garlands of flowers hung from the buildings, glitter firecrackers and neon fireworks were exploding everywhere, and bubbles floated from the waterworks. There wasn't a single building where there wasn't a bunch of Trolls partying, dancing and singing all sorts of music, making the Troll Lands seem like a massive jukebox musical.

Outside of the six royal palaces, all the courts were enjoying themselves. The King and Queen of Techno themselves constantly mixed the different genres into musical tracks that kept everyone dancing while others drank, sang, and chatted.

"Best… hic! Best night of my life! Hic!" Crystal raised her glass of punch as she and Gothy sat at a table.

Gothy laughed. "They don't serve alcohol here and you're drunk!"

Crystal hiccupped once more, nearly falling off her seat until Gothy caught her. Gothy pulled the cup out of Crystal's hands while the latter rested her head on Gothy's chest. "I never realized… hic! You smell like… hic! Sunflowers!"

"I don't know what sunflowers smell like."

"Oh, Gothy… Hic! I love you so much…"

"You're under the influence, Crystal," Gothy patted Crystal on the head.

"I've loved you since…" Instead of hiccups, snoring came out of Crystal. Audrey and Ozzy came by just in time to see Gothy place Crystal so that the latter could sleep on the table counter.

"Is she OK?" Audrey asked.

"Eh, the usual." Gothy sat back and Audrey snapped her fingers so that a pillow could appear underneath the sleeping head. "Crystal had a blast, got drunk, and I think she tried to make the weirdest love confession ever."

"I thought you two were an item." Ozzy drank the remains of her mug.

"We aren't!" Gothy snapped.

"It's not because she's the Goblin King's kid, is it? Some Rock Trolls who stopped by the Underground once did stop at one of her parties. They said she was a bigger hedonist at parties than most Rock Trolls, but I don't really see it when she's with you."

"She's just flirting." Gothy kept shaking her head.

"They also used to say that when she flirted, she'd usually switch interests every thirteen minutes. Has she flirted with anyone else since she joined your world tour?"

Gothy wounded up silent. I get flirty when I do one-night stands. I'm just doing my best effort in wooing. Those were the words that Crystal had used back in Macabretown, back when they talked about Gothy's insecurities and problems with Charles. So she actually meant it? "Dang… I didn't… She was telling the truth?"

"How couldn't you tell?" Audrey was equally shocked. "Even the Bloody Bambi could see that Crystal liked you!"

"I'm not Mother Gothel!" Gothy protested. "I had zero interest in the people who tried to flirt with me on the Isle! I didn't need for people to indulge my non-existent vanity!"

"Or you just weren't interested." Ozzy shrugged. "That happens to many. But look on the bright side, you're being adored by a princess with zero comments on your non-existent vanity!"

Gothy rolled her eyes. Crystal kept snoring.

"I should probably bring Crystal back to our room." Audrey got up and made her way around the table.

"But you're going to miss out on limbo!" Ozzy complained. "At worse, you'll miss out on the epic rock karaoke!"

Audrey smirked and pointed her finger at Crystal. Pink sparkles showered over Crystal, shrinking her into a doll-size that Audrey could easily carry. "I'll be back just in to watch you fail at limbo."

"Is that a challenge?" Ozzy arched her eyebrows in amusement.

"How is it a challenge?" Audrey laughed. Gothy and Ozzy watched as Audrey made her way back to the Pop Palace, carrying Crystal in her hands.

"Looks like Cyrus Dawn might have some competition in his hooves," Gothy teased.

Ozzy frowned. "Cyrus Dawn… with her? They're just friends."

"Green-eyed theory?" Gothy teased.

"No. He's just nice that way to anyone he wants to be friends with. Besides, everybody knows that Cyrus Dawn and Trollthoven have been together since New Year's Eve!" She pointed at the princes who were busy playing banjo and harpsichord together. Apparently, Cyrus Dawn had allowed Trollthoven to wear his cowboy hat.

"I am so clueless…" Gothy shook her head.

"Nah. Humans just forget that Trolls aren't that different." When a waiter passed by with a tray full of mugs, Ozzy snatched another mug and immediately drank from it. Fruit punch was still dripping off her lips by the time she was done, but she dried it off with her bare forearm. "So you guys are going straight to the Seussian Lands on that train tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Hopefully I'll finally find out where Cassandra is."

"Yeah, Dinomaggedon did tell me bits about your quest. I'm jealous. I've never gone that far east. The furthest I've gone is Villainapolis, but that's it."

"Why would you go in a town full of villains on purpose?" Gothy still had her nasty childhood memories. She certainly didn't miss the Isle of the Lost.

"Well A, because my mom is a reformed villain and I got my edges, B, we know a Bergen and a Troll who run a dinner that makes the best Groot beers I've ever drunk in my life but they don't own a chain, and C, Villainapolis is a paradise when I need to go out occasionally to go break stuff."

"Break stuff?"

"I'm a Rock Troll. I break stuff when I get bad. But home insurance is a thing here, so I have to hold it up and I usually go once a month at Villainapolis to unleash it all. They don't give a shit, they're too focused on their turf wars and indulging in their worst sins. Deetz says that it's basically the human version of Hell: violence, gambling, murder, theft, sex, and other stuff you shouldn't see in a kids' cartoon. No cops."

"And your mom just lets you go?"

"Yep."

The Liberation Celebration kept going. After losing to Beatrice at limbo, Gothy and Ozzy went on to take part in rock karaoke, where Gothy found herself riled up after singing 'Rock You Like A Hurricane'. They moved on to charades, square dancing, musical chairs, and Gothy just lost track. It must have been around 10pm when some people were dispersing. Before heading out to their business, Penna De Mort and Marius Bogfae came to give to give their good-byes.

"This has been a delight." Penna bowed.

"Your presence always brings us the best honor," Queen Poppy agreed as she curtsied.

"I'm just glad we were able to take part in the festivities without causing controversies. Right, Marius?" Penna glared at her boyfriend.

"I said I was sorry!" Marius complained.

"Eh, it's fine." Gothy shrugged. "I lost track of how many times we almost got killed."

"I was hoping on further enforcing the apologies to Audrey and to also exchange numbers. Has she gone to bed already?" Penna asked.

"Where is she anyway?" Beatrice frowned.

"Last time we saw her, she was bringing Crystal back to our room… That had to be at least two hours ago!" Gothy realized.

"MOMMY! DADDY!"

People looked up and saw the Techno Triplets flying towards them. The two girls were dragging in their small arms two gruff individuals in discreet clothing while the only male among the triplets was riding the Bloody Bambi… who had a human arm in his teeth. The girls threw the men onto the buffet table. King Trollex and Queen DJ Suki rushed to their children.

"What happened?" King Trollex demanded.

"Daddy! It was horrible!" The boy was crying while his mother took him in her arms. "We went to put Shamrock to bed like Auntie Poppy asked, and when we got up, we saw three big men dragging Audrey out of town! We followed them, but they had her shackled and threw her in the river."

"You're floating merfolk-land hybrids and you couldn't dive in to save her?" Gothy exclaimed.

"Uh, to be fair, it's a poisonous series of rapids," Ozzy said. "I'm not sure why we have one of those."

"So we went after the big guys. Audrey's pet deer couldn't catch her, so he ate one of the big guys," the triplet continued.

Penna glared at Marius. "OK, it was NOT me this time!"

Before the men could get up, Willywaffle pinned one of them down with his cane whole Gladiola threatened the other with her torch. "I know them!" Willywaffle snarled. "Goons of Vincent Salt!"

"Seriously!" Beatrice snapped. "Audrey kicking his butt was SO last week!"

Gothy definitely didn't take this well. Thanks to those goons, her friend might be gone. She shoved Willywaffle aside and grabbed the goon he was menacing by the neck. Her dagger was dangerously close to piercing his neck. "What have you done to Audrey and how do we get her back? Talk, or I'll dice your heart out, cut off your digestive system, AND BURN EVERYTHING BEFORE SERVING YOU AS ROASTING TO THE BLOODY BAMBI!" To support her, the Bloody Bambi showed off its toothy mouth at the goon.

"VINCENT SALT PAID US TO DISPOSE OF THE MAGIC GIRL WHO HUMILIATED HIM, SO WE SNUCK ON THE TRAIN!" The goon screamed. "WE AIN'T MURDERERS, BUT WE SAW HOW YOU NEARLY LOST TO THAT GREY-HAIRED FREAK THE OTHER DAY! SO WE WAITED FOR HER TO COME OUT OF HER ROOM WHEN SHE WAS ALONE, WE STRUCK HER ON THE HEAD, PUT SILVER AND IRON HANDCUFFS ON HER, AND WE THREW HER IN THE RIVER! WE TOSSED HER AS FAR AWAY FROM TOWN, SO BY DAWN, SHE'D BE ARRIVING IN VILLAINAPOLIS!"

As equally furious as Gothy, Beatrice shot a beam of lightning at the goons, turning them into beetles. But rather than eating them, she stomped on them with her boots.

"Thanks to natural contrast, Audrey will be weakened in Villainapolis by tomorrow morning but we'd take two or three days by foot! No trains go by Villainapolis in turf war season! And who knows when that will until the next train to the Seussian lands comes?"

"Hold on." Penna raised her hands. "It might not be hopeless. I can't leave the business that I must attend with Marius, but I do know that Jessie is in Villainapolis right now… Oh, and also your half-brother who just loves trying to murder you."

Gothy rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to pass a phone call to Jessie and convince her to pull a few strings so she can save your friend."

"Can't you just ask her to fish her out of the river?" Gothy scowled.

"Even if Jessie had an anti-poison net on her, it doesn't work that way in Villainapolis. Scavengers will immediately claim her and she'll have to endure what every newcomer endures when they put their foot in that town."

"Oh, right!" Ozzy said. "They have newcomers battle with the locals in an arena so the newcomers either die or join the ranks of the gangs. Regardless if its seasonal or permanent."

"So here's what I suggest. I make my call to Jessie. Aside from working for me, she's also part of a local gang. I'll ask her to convince her chief to ease up on the… challenges so that Audrey will survive and stay sheltered until then. Your merry group splits in half, one half gets a head start at the Seussian lands while the other goes to Villainapolis, gets Audrey, and meets the others at the Seussian lands."

"Uh, with Audrey gone, there's only 3 of us left." Gothy pointed out drily. "Crystal, Beatrice, and I. And I'm not counting the Bloody Bambi."

"Make that four." To everyone's surprise, Ozzy stepped up. "I volunteer to join the group that will go to Villainapolis."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Beatrice asked.

"You and I know Villainapolis better than the others. My ROCKINGTROLLTOISE also acts like a camping bus and it takes me a day in a half to get to Villainapolis with him as my ride. Well, a day and a half when I exclude the breaks at youth hostels. Gothy and Crystal can take the train while we find Audrey. Heck, if we're lucky, my pet could reach the train before it reaches the Seussian lands!"

"Ozzy, you're sure?" Gladiola stared at her friend. "You haven't been that far east in your life."

"I've been in crazier trains. Besides, I'm sure that Dinomaggedon can kick some butt while she waits for us!"