Chapter 22: Queen of Mean vs Princess of Mischief
Audrey recalled awakening by cruel force and finding herself handcuffed and dragged by the rapid currents on some river. She tried to use her magic, but the cuffs burned onto her skin, preventing her from casting a spell. She tried using her physical force to move through the currents, but something about the water was stinging its way through her skin and sending jolting pain through Audrey's muscles. She tried screaming for help, but nobody could possibly hear her as the water kept hitting her in the mouth. Eventually, she got too weakened and lost consciousness for good. She was certain she was bound to die as her eyes fell into darkness. At this rate, she might as well be on her way to become the eternal servant of the demon she never got to make a pact with…
"Hey, kid! Wake up!"
A gruff voice and a back hand smacking her provoked Audrey to wake up. She was in some sort of grey stone room and the only light sources were coming through the bars that barricaded the window and the part of the cell with the closest access to a hallway. Audrey saw that she had been placed on some rectangular stone forming a bed, nearly reminding her of a funeral altar, and a dark sheet had been thrown over her. She was soaking all the way to her toes.
"Get up, kid! We're almost up!"
Audrey saw the one who had splashed her. To her shock, it was a Hun. Probably one of the Huns she had seen back at the ferry she and Gothy had taken to leave the Watchful Highlands. Audrey sat up on her bed and saw that her arms were covered in bandages. Her clothes were on her and someone had bandaged her bare feet as well. However, when she tried to stand up, Audrey groaned at the pain that slithered its way within her. Despite his gruffness, the Hun caught her before she could collapse and helped her back on her seat.
"Where am I?"
"In a cell at Villainapolis," the Hun told her. "Scavengers found you washed on the shores of that poisonous river outside of town. How you survived, they didn't give a hoot. They brought you here, they treated your injuries, and they locked you here with me." He pulled out a brown bottle from his grey-colored fur coat and held it up for Audrey. "Have some Hun rum."
"I don't drink alcohol." Audrey shook her head.
"Kid, if things go badly for us in the next thirty minutes, this will probably the only booze you'll ever have alive." He scowled at her. "Drink."
Audrey frowned at him. She hesitated and accepted the bottle. After taking a massive sip, she immediately handed the bottle back to the Hun before covering her mouth. How it was possible, she didn't care, but the alcohol was burning its way down her throat. Audrey felt like the world's hottest essence of leaf and nuts had penetrated her.
"You're that Queen of Mean they talked about back in Auradon." Audrey stiffened as the Hun recognized her. "Come to think of it, I think I saw you back on the ferry. You were with that red beast and Gothy Gothel. Why are you so far from home?"
"Auradon is no longer my home," Audrey retorted coldly. "And what about you? I thought the Huns who came here moved in a group."
"Oh. That." The Hun grimaced and put his bottled back in his coat. "Long story short, we weren't quite happy to see that none of the Huns old turf was in Auradon, even those closest to Mulan's territory, so some of us set east. We heard that what remained of the Mongolian territories was east just before entering the Seussian Lands, but we made the mistake of making a stop at Villainapolis." He leaned on the wall closest to the window and crossed his legs, as if trying to take the last relaxing pose he'd ever have. "We basically thought 'it's basically a city-version of the Isle of the Lost, what could go wrong?' Then we see how they treat newcomers. They lock them here and expect them to fight local gang leaders to either join them or get killed by them."
"What the… This is ridiculous! Even tourists and bystanders?"
"They don't care if you're in Villainapolis for a temporary drive by, to visit someone, or to move in. They care about expanding their gangs for their annual turf wars. So the newcomers face challenges in their arena. If they succeed, they join a gang, permanent or seasonal member, but if you lose, they kill you." His expression temporarily saddened. "I lost track of time. They couldn't do us all at once because of their turf war cravings, so I gradually watched my friends come and go… Only two of my fellow Huns are alive."
Audrey was certain she was paling up by now. "The local villains are THAT powerful? How many Huns were you?"
"Not all of us. We were about nine when we got here. Others made the smartest move to go straight to the east. 4 died in the arena, two joined gangs… and my best friend chose to dishonor herself with cyanide." He looked grimly at Audrey. "I've been here for a while. They purposely weaken me by giving me less than the usual Hun rations; I'm almost out of fuel. As for you… well, you're probably still too weakened. You might as well die before even putting your foot in the middle of the arena."
The Hun suddenly coughed violently. He began coughing out ball and falling on the cold ground. Before Audrey had time to get up and reach for him, his body was stiffer than a rock. Audrey checked to see if she could hear his heartbeat, but it was dead silent.
"Sorry about that. I slipped poison in his breakfast cyanide."
Audrey turned to the cell's bars. A chalk-white pale teenager, probably only a year or two younger than Beatrice, stood on the other side. She wore a black-and-red jumpsuit that covered her shoulders and went no further than her calves. A purple diamond motif was present in her belt, her pockets' cuffs, and open-toed chunky heeled combat boots. Her fingerless gloves were of the same purple hue as her diamond motif, her blonde hair was mustard-colored compared to Audrey's and vibrant in black and pink stripes; the whole mass of hair was tied and held up by a hair clip resembling a comedy mask holding daggers in its mouth. Her nails and lips were painted dark red and a black diamond mask covered her brown eyes. Audrey saw four vibrant tattoos on the girls' exposed flesh, primarily capitalized typography that shouted 'J.J', 'LOL', 'HAHA', 'DADDY CAN SHIT HIS WAY TO HELL CAUSE I'M THE BOSS.'
"Huh, can I help you?" Audrey asked defensively.
"I just did." The girl nudged her head at the corpse of the Hun. "I saved you some time."
"Time til what?"
"To get the assholes out there to keep you alive."
"And who are you?"
"Jessie Joker. My boss called me. Apparently Vincent Salt's goons sent you crash-coursing here. She said that your friends will be splitting up, one to the Seussian Lands and the other to come get you. Sad fact of nature, it'll take them longer for them to come to you by land than it took you to be washed up here, so my boss told me to convince my gang leader to pull some strings. We're going to get you out of this shit."
"How?" Audrey raised her hands. "I'm weak!"
"Oh, you'll be fine after you get some meds!" Jessie said dismissively. "Look, it's mandatory for you to go in the arena, but my gang leader came up with ways to make sure you win, stay alive, and we keep an eye on you. But you have to trust us. OK?"
Audrey didn't know what to think. The girl was her junior and she came to her just like that with an escape plan after casually admitting that she poisoned a Hun four times her wait. And the tone she used made it seem like this was done every other Tuesday! But Audrey had no other options.
"What must I do?" Audrey asked.
"First, they'll have you fight against a local from the audience who volunteers to fight you. First person gets the call. My gang leader convinced her boyfriend to volunteer. He's got a lot of juice in him and they expect him to fight seriously, but don't worry, he's a good actor. He'll make things easier for you, get a bit physical, and he's going to fake surrendering because you gave him too much of a fight. Since you'll still be alive, it leads to the final round, where ALL the gang leaders come charging at you. Last gang leader standing either kills you or gets you to surrender and join his or her gang. We rigged the arena to dispose of the competition, so you'll get into a fight with my gang leader and eventually surrender. Once it's all done, you'll be safe on our turfs."
Audrey blinked. "You've planned all this overnight? Wait, what time is it?"
"Eh. 10 am..." Jessie shrugged. "Don't worry, they give out free lunches during half-time. When you survive, I'll bring you a hamburger." Jessie checked towards the hallway, probably where the exit was. "They'll eventually come to dispose of the corpse… And take you to the arena. Listen, I got to go, but I'll cross my fingers for you."
"Hold on." Audrey searched through the Hun's coat and pulled out the rum bottle. She reached her hand across the bars and handed it to Jessie. "I hate to say it, but that was some good rum. Hold on to it for me."
"Good thing nobody gives a shit in Villainapolis." Jessie laughed as she took it.
Later
As Jessie had predicted, some individuals came to drag the body out while others escorted Audrey through the grey hallway. None of them looked like the typical guards she had seen most of her life and they certainly didn't dress in leather patchworks like the villains from the Isle. No, they looked like the typical guys who'd spend Friday nights at a karaoke bar if the attire also included strapped weapons. Audrey was also pretty shocked to see guns strapped on them. In Auradon, no civilian was allowed to carry such weaponry and even the hired guards were forbidden to use it unless direly necessary.
The criminals merely escorted her as if she was a 'guarded guest' until they reached a purple door. "Good luck," one of them said. "Try to stay alive."
The door opened, exposing a light that nearly blinded Audrey as she was shoved out. She found her way up some small steps and found herself on a circular battling ground of grey stones dominated by a dome of amethysts. Circular bleachers surrounded the field, and Audrey saw to her discomfort that nearly everyone in the audience was dead silent. There had to be more than 500 attendees of all ages, all dressed in dark or vibrant colors that ranged in battle uniforms, aristocratic suits, leather-coated bad boys and girls, muggers, exotic fiends, and random civilians who were probably here for the sake of a good show. All of them either stared at Audrey with confused wide eyes or frowns suggesting that they had no clue if this was someone's idea of a joke. Even the kids' expression made it clear that Audrey was probably the weirdest sight of their lives.
"Wow. The bastards from the other side must have been so bad for one of their own brats to get all delinquent!" Whoever was the female announcer tried to crack a joke, but nobody in the audience even coughed. Audrey didn't even know how to react to their expressionless behaviors. If this had been a showdown in Auradon, she could have imagined the crow boing at her. Macabretown? She could have at least imagined some people cheering, especially after she had beaten up Vincent Salt. But this crowd of villains she was unfamiliar with? They might as well be waiting for a taster to find out if today's mystery meat was poisoned or not.
"Fine, since we can't make any humor nowadays!" The female announcer was probably rolling her eyes. "We all know the drill. The newcomer has to play rough with the first person in the audience to volunteer…"
"I volunteer!" Audrey looked around the audience. At the front rows on the right, she managed to spot Jessie sitting next to some purple-dressed princess and a gentleman in a red and black riding suit with matching top hat. The latter was standing up and raising his cane.
"It looks like Napoleon Moriarty just volunteered himself." Audrey saw Jessie giving her a hopeful thumbs-up. "Good. You may make your way to the arena!"
For a moment, Audrey thought she might have a chance. Considering how he used his cane to walk, she could at least use it against his stomach. But the moment he got of the row and put his foot in the bleachers' steps, Napoleon Moriarty found himself encased in a block of ice. Compared to the previous minutes, the crowd actually panicked.
"Looks like Moriarty is suffering a brain freeze," a female voice spoke up. "Looks like the second volunteer gets to face the newbie. And that would be me."
Out of nowhere, a green-colored bonfire appeared in the arena. When it disappeared, a young woman stood, unscathed by the flames. She could have been in her early twenties or something. Her hair, probably as gray as stone, was in two different hues and hanging behind her head like a massive mane with some strands braided just by her forehead. Her green long-sleeved shirt had a collar of maroon that seemed to move on its own despite the lack of wind, her green leggings had bright blue patterns of Nordic runes, and her green flats almost looked like they were fabricated out of wolf fangs. Her only jewelry was the blue cuff bracelet on her left arm and the wolf head pendant on her neck. She would have been alluring but Audrey found her alarming. Especially when she saw her venomous green eyes and the sinister sneer on her maroon lips. Who did this remind Audrey of?
Mal.
Audrey didn't want to believe it. These lands of anarchy had a clone of Mal. That is, if Mal was more obsessed with green and had a glare that made Audrey feel that this hadn't become a competition but a hunt. When she looked back at the audience, she saw Jessie and the purple princess looking terrified. Obviously, this wasn't part of their plan.
"Th…Th…That was… unexpected." The female announcer probably sounded like she wanted to retire.
"Right, because it would have been boring if it was unexpected." When the witch began taking steps forward, Audrey realized that she was actually at least 2 feet taller than her. And at every step she took, the stoned floor turned into patches of ice. "Then again, you people really want to waste such a spectacle? You got yourself a Fae magic overpowered human from the other side of the mist and you'd rather waste the entertainment by having her compete with a wannabe crime lord?" The witch waved her hand towards Audrey, who definitely felt scared as shit. "They want to see her full potential? Let them have it! Let them see what Audrey the Queen of Mean has to throw at me! Kory Lokisdottir, the Princess of Mischief!"
The crowd seemed to cower, but Audrey felt a metaphorical icy chill going down her spine. "How do you know who I am?" She choked out the question. She didn't know when it happened, but somehow Kory teleported herself so that only 8 inches separated her from Audrey. The newfound proximity led to an icy air around them and Kory sank her venom green nails into Audrey's neck. She wasn't being strangled, but Audrey yelped as a bolt of energy stung her from within and she felt her magic suddenly fueling her muscles. Audrey looked at Kory in confusion. "Why?"
The Princess of Mischief sneered. "I could just say over my dead body, but that would be impossible. Fight me, Queen of Mean."
Audrey was still too stunned.
"FIGHT ME!" Kory's sneer was still plastered on her face as she slapped Audrey to crash land across half of the field. Audrey tried to get up, but she had to make an immediate dodge when Kory sent an icy spike in an attempt to impale her. As soon as she got back up, Audrey shot a pink blast of magic at Kory. The latter merely flicked her fingers and disintegrated the blast. Anyone who was sitting in the front rows, sans Jessie and the purple princess, fled upwards as far as they could from the splat zone. Audrey sent out pink bolts at Kory, who barricaded them with bigger green ones.
"Is that all you got, Sugar Pie?" Kory's new nickname caused Audrey to feel the anger flush in her cheeks. What was wrong with that girl, especially whenever she kept that smile on her face? "I'm getting bored."
Now Audrey was getting pissed. Recalling the spell Crystal had used before their confrontation with the dinosaurs, she threw her fists down onto the ground. "Stone, metal, mineral, follow the desires of I, your royal!" Nearly every stone tile surrounding Audrey and every pipe hidden underneath ripped their way through the surface and merged to create soldiers of stoned bodies and piped armor.
"Ooh, I shudder!" Kory mocked. She snapped her fingers and caused a chain reaction of purple smoke explosions. When the smoke cleared, Audrey was horrified to see that a dozen clones of Kory Lokisdottir were fighting Audrey's abominations. She couldn't even tell which one was the real Kory until the real deal kicked her from behind and had her fall face first onto the ground. Audrey saw the redness dripping out of her nose when she got up. Furious, she agitated her hands and created a pink spinel ball that she tossed at Kory, who dodged the growing pink spikes with the skills of a ballerina dancer.
"I'm nearly impressed," Kory shrugged.
"Just WHAT is your problem with me?" Audrey snapped. She summoned vines to grow from the ground and restrain Kory, but even that was beneath the Princess of Mischief, who converted her whole body into water to slip her way out and solidified herself as an ice statue that turned into her original form. "I don't even know you!"
"Of course you don't!" Kory laughed. Stone snakes emitting green auras sprung out of the ground to merge into one giant stone snake that trapped Audrey in its stone coils. She screamed as the serpentine bonds threatened to crush her ribcage. The magic-created abominations were still fighting one another, giving the audience a hard time to focus on a specific spar. Kory yet again teleported in front of Audrey and trapped the latter's cheeks in her hands. Audrey must have been hallucinating, because the nails felt sharper than dog claws and were threatening to cut Audrey's face.
"I might as well be the whole reason you're even here, Sugar Pie." Kory's whispering sounded too much like hissing and Audrey didn't like the proximity between their faces. "I mean, it was just so easy for my poison to convince everyone in Auradon that Carlos De Vil!"
The venomous sank into Audrey, who suddenly felt the horrible words back in Auradon pouring in.
You killed him! Jane had cried hysterically. It was bad enough when Ben chose Mal, but Carlos? Don't you dare show up at his funeral!
Sorry, we don't do murderous witches in the squad! The cheerleaders had decided before booting her out.
It's the Queen of Mean. Let's get out of here before she turns into a monster again.
Oh, it's her. Remind me again why I moved out of the Isle?
She saw bad memories flashing in as her anger reached its peak. She saw the Bloody Bambi bearing its fangs and the faceless red demon smiling at her.
I'm the devil on your shoulders where your angels used to be. I call you the Queen of Mean, he said.
I'm not filling any contract with you while that jackass watches.
No contracts. Not yet, my Queen of Mean. I would prefer that you show that demigoddess what your made of. Remind everyone why you are dangerous. CRUSH THEM!
And Audrey was certain that a volcano exploded.
"What the shit?" Jessie Joker found herself cussing at the bleachers when the next insane thing happened. The Auradonian was surrounded by a pink aura, followed by her blonde hair with pink and blue streaks morphing into a pink mane with blue tips. An unholy scream escaped her lips as her burning fists punched their way out of the stoned bonds and onto the face of Kory Lokisdottir. The sorceress was sent back by a few feet while the stone snake crumbled into pink dust. The Auradonian emerged on the rumble, her outfit now of black, red, and pink hues that moved like a raging fire, her nails sharper than talons, and her eyes glowing in a pink fury. Her steps caused the earth to shake.
"Holy shit, this is insane!" The announcer exclaimed.
"Jessie." The purple dressed princess stared at the equally shocked delinquent.
"Don't look at me!" Jessie protested. "Penna said nothing about her being a raging she-demon!" As she said that, the now fueled up Queen of Mean had engaged in a physical fight against Lokisdottir. Hell was breaking loose and the supervillains n the audience didn't know if they should cower in fear at the witches' duel or cheer on for the Queen of Mean.
"Did you see that?" The other person sitting next to Jessie pointed at the dueling overpowered ladies as they trashed the field. Audrey still had that glowing pink aura surrounding her as she angrily casted spells at Kory Lokisdottir, but soon Jessie and the purple dressed princess saw what the individual was talking about: the audience probably couldn't see it due to the chaos, but the girls could definitely see a ghostly specter camouflaging itself in Audrey's pink aura. They definitely caught the detailed appearance of a red-suited man with antlers and ears pointed upward… and a sadistic smile that only rivaled the one that was beginning to appear on Kory's face as the duel intensified. "Shit!" Jessie cussed. "Penna said nothing about that!"
"And Lokisdottir seeks chaos like she usually does! We got no choice but to apply Protocol 47! Jessie, zap her!"
Jessie pulled out a red-and-black taser gun bigger than her forearm. Just as Audrey was causing the earth to shake again and pink flames were beginning to appear from the ground, Jessie stood over the bleachers' railing and pulled the trigger. A beam of electric shots hit Audrey, who found herself glitching between her two forms before finally going back to her initial, blonde self. She fell on her knees, shook her head, and stared at the ransacked arena. A majority of the audience looked relieved while some still had a hard time processing what was going on. But Audrey knew in a matter of seconds what had happened. "Oh no…" She groaned.
"What the Hel?" Kory snapped at Jessie Joker. "We weren't done!"
"We are!" The purple dressed princess pointed a finger at Kory. "I accuse Kory Lokisdottir of breaching Protocol 47, which clearly states that this demigoddess isn't allowed to take part in these tests if she attempts to purposely harm the psychological being of a refugee!"
Whispers were going on around the crowd. Audrey looked around and saw that some of them pulled out purple-colored handbooks, perhaps copies of those so-called protocols.
"She's right!" Somebody in the ground raised his handbook. "We DO NOT condone mental breakdowns on recently arrived refugees!"
"You saw that girl's powers. Obviously those freaks had her suppress them. Poor thing, no wonder she ran off…"
"This is an outrage! It's one thing for an adult serial killer to butcher a Hun, but a demigoddess provoking a magically-enhanced mortal teenager!"
Very soon, outraged shouts were growing in the crowds. "It looks like the entire audience is agreeing at an infinite count with the declaration of Princess Noir on the matters of Protocol 47. For purposely breaching one of the few rules meant strictly at her, Kory Lokisdottir will now be disqualified for her incorrect misconduct," the announcer declared. "And because a gang leader has summoned the protocol out of concern of the newcomer's welfare, the Queen of Mean will not be required to face the second part of the tests and will be provided with sanctuary within the gang of Princess Noir."
Clapping came from different areas of the arena. Audrey glared at Kory, expecting the so-called demigoddess to rain her smile-plastered fury on her. But to her shock, Kory merely shrugged.
"Guess I'll be seeing you around, Sugar Pie."
"You won't." Audrey spat. "And don't call me Sugar Pie." But Kory merely gave her a wink before turning into an icy breeze that flew its way out of the arena. The clapping was now followed by cheering. Audrey tried to get up, but she found herself struggling to. Transforming into the Queen of Mean really did a number on her energy and Kory had shown her twisted sense of generosity by bruising her chest. Fortunately, Jessie jumped over the railing and caught Audrey before the latter could collapse.
"Hey. It's gonna be OK." Jessie put Audrey's right arm over her shoulders. Audrey could feel her energy draining quickly. Getting knocked unconscious, thrown in a poisonous river, sleeping in a cell, drinking Hun rum and watching the owner die, and fighting a demigoddess who claimed to have murdered her friend. This was too much for her to handle in one day.
"I'm fucking tired…" She couldn't believe she just used a swear word.
"Doze off. You earned it."
Audrey took Jessie's advice and the world went black.
(Note from the author: yeah, because of the way things are going, I'm changing the rating of the story)
