Chapter 30: Girls… And Charles' Night Out

It had been a near three hours since Audrey, Iclyn, and Blackfire brought Charles to Dr. Hama's clinic. Though the bloodbender did warn them that it would take a while because of Charles' lack of medical history, it almost felt like an eternity, waiting in the icy blue waiting room. Despite the tense behavior they had back at Audrey's chateau, Blackfire had been generous enough to get lunch for the girls from the clinic's cafeteria. By the time they were done with the tuna sandwiches and recycled the paper bags, Dr. Hama came in with a clipboard.

"How is he doing?" Blackfire asked the old bloodbender.

"Not fully cured but still in a better condition than when you first brought him in," Dr. Hama went over the paper. "His bones and skin suffered trauma, and from the scars on his back, we're looking at an entire childhood of abuse. It took me a while to heal the internal fractures but it was a near eternity to bloodbend his veins back to shape. Fixing those by the lungs and heart were the most delicate during the procedure. Rest assured; he will no longer be coughing out blood but he'll still have coughing problems from years of respiratory infections."

"But he'll still live, right?" Audrey asked.

"Of course. Naturally, precautions will need to be taken." The old woman handed a blue-colored paper to Audrey. "Daily dosage of hot fluids, cough drops, and avoidance of potential health hazards. My best recommendation for hot fluids will be herbal tea, especially lemon balm. I'll provide two months-worth of lemon cough drops for daily usage, and for health hazards… I discommend any direct lip kissing or home-base activities. The latter shouldn't be a problem since he's a biromantic ace, so just make sure he doesn't kiss anyone on the lips until he gets better." Dr. Hama looked at the three women in confusion. "What? I take into account potential health risks in orientations in my job and I can recognize attractions based on blood reactions! You think I petitioned against the Porn Studios having a base in Villainapolis for no reason?"

"I don't know what 'biromantic ace' means," Audrey shamefully admitted.

"That's right, I forgot how unscrupulous your former homeland is." Dr. Hama's expression soured. "It means that Charles lacks in sexual attraction but is romantically into men and women."

"And he's Frollo's son," Iclyn muttered. "Shit."

"I don't know how long he plans on staying in Villainapolis, but if his condition worsens, have him set up another appointment with me. Understood?" Dr. Hama asked Audrey sharply.

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. I'll bring him in when he's awake." To that, Dr. Hama went back to the patient ward, giving Audrey a bit of chills in her blood. In a strange sense, Dr. Hama had a harsher personality than her grandmother but the bloodbender doctor actually cared of children's wellbeing. Another ten minutes after leaving them, Dr. Hama came back with Charles. His grey hair had been brushed down, his pale was partially reddened, probably from a towel rub, and signs of a bandage wrapped around his neck underneath his collar made it clear that he did bleed a bit during the procedure. His purple eyes didn't look as tired as they had been previously, but they did have a frustrated look when Dr. Hama kept pinching his cheek.

"Now you keep yourself healthy and take your medication. If you have any problems, set up an appointment. Alright?" Dr. Hama used an unusual cooing tone on the boy.

"Yes, doctor."

"Aren't you the cutest thing?" Dr. Hama patted him on the cheeks. For some reason, Blackfire had a similar reaction as the doctor. The moment she lifted her nose up from her magazine, the alien queen gushed out some squeals.

"OH, MY STARS!" She knocked over her chair, tossed away the magazine, and immediately went to cup Charles' cheeks. "AREN'T YOU ADORABLE?"

"Iclyn, what am I looking at?" Audrey frowned.

"I believe it's something that happens when evil women are exposed to a cute child that isn't theirs," Iclyn said. The girls were more surprised, however, when some of the other women in the room from the front desk clerk to one of the passing nurses, couldn't resist stopping by to fawn over how 'cute' Charles was. And the 'affectionate' attention did not make Charles happy; if anything, he looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole. Thinking quickly, Iclyn went through Charles' satchel, which she had been holding on to this whole time, and pulled out a purple glass container bearing a label with a French warning written in red marker.

CACA DE CHIENS! NE PAS TOUCHER SANS URGENCE!

"'Dog poop? Do not touch without urgency?'" Audrey translated.

"Let's see if it works." Iclyn nodded at Audrey and the two girls covered their noses and mouths. With her spare hand, Iclyn managed to uncork the jar and the moment a small opening cracked, they saw why the content was dangerous. Trails of brown, black, and white smoke with hints of purple sparkles slithered out like small snakes and coated the clinic room with mist. Nearly every single person at the foul odor of dog poop; Charles managed to find an opening to crawl out while the women busied themselves at clogging their noses. Audrey grabbed him by the collar and pulled him towards the exit door. By the time the three got out, Charles made a grab for his items, tightened the cork on the jar, and shoved it in his satchel. Audrey nearly vomited when her hand nearly went down, exposing her nose to the ghastly odor, but the three of them ran away until Iclyn led them to a park a block away from the clinic.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Iclyn yelled.

"Dog poop. I thought my labeling was obvious," Charles said drily. He went through his pants' pockets and pulled out a bag full of cough drops, courtesy of Dr. Hama.

"WHAT DOGS?"

"I went for 10. Cocker Spaniel, Pug, Bloodhound, Bulldog, St. Bernard, Beagle, English Mastiff, Shar Pei, Boxer, and Yorkshire Terrier. Among the smelliest dog breeds. And of course, I added un peu de magie."

"I don't even want to know where you got most of the poop from…" Disgust times two curled its way into Audrey's stomach, causing her to run and puke in a trash can, scaring off some ravens. "SHIT!"

"Hey, forgive me if I'm a paranoid!" Charles raised his hands in defense. "I told myself it would come in handy in case I run into some sort of demon who has a thing against dogs!"

"Not a bad concept, but that jar of yours can have you killed," Iclyn said. "I heard from some chick from Witchachusetts that there are kid-murdering witches up in the north who think that kids smell like dog poop. Open that near any of them and, well, try to stay alive near a mass of witches who think they sniffed out ten kids wrapped in one smelly package."

"Hilarious. I only took a bath once in my life." Charles stopped talking as Audrey continued throwing up. "What? Water plumbing was terrible on the Isle!"

"Sorry…" Audrey held on to her stomach and walked away from the trash can, dropping herself onto a bench. "God, that disgust in me was insane… I might as well have two stomachs… That really disgusted Alastor…" Audrey lost her wooziness when she saw Iclyn and Charles staring at her. "What?"

"Did you just say that you could feel your demon's disgust?" Charles frowned.

"Yes?" Nice going, Bloody Bambi, Audrey mentally cursed. What did you do?

Nothing intentional, my Queen, but that stench of canine droppings was horrid… Audrey found their conversation interrupted when Charles snapped his fingers in front of her face. "What?" She asked.

"Interesting." He pondered before grabbing his scrapbook and a pen. His fingers flipped through the pages of doodles, writings, and taped papers that had obviously been ripped from books or magazines. "You spaced out for a few seconds. Were you talking to the demon?"

"More like criticizing, but yes."

"Wow." Charles stopped midway to write some notes. "It sounds like summoning a demon created a psychic link between you two."

"You mean like how he started talking to Audrey in her nightmares?" Iclyn looked over his shoulder to peak at his notes.

"That's creepy." Charles took a few steps away and sat on the ground by the feet of the bench. "But sure, why not. Audrey, when did the dream telepathy start occurring?"

"After Gothy and I crossed the Auradon Wall. He… freaked out when I got injured and nearly lost my blood." Audrey could have mentioned that she got bit by a bloodhound, but thinking about Alastor's disgust at Charles' dog poop jar had her take a step back. Did Alastor have a button against dogs? His silence in her head certainly didn't answer her question.

"And he seems to have given the Queen of Mean a bit of backup whenever she got pissed," Iclyn added.

"A psychic link… Combined with dream telepathy and fueled by connected emotions… Audrey, can you remind me how you summoned him?" Charles asked.

"I sang. Apparently his summoning calling card is indirectly calling him three times while singing."

"What was the line?"

"'Now there's a devil on my shoulder where the angels used to be and he's calling me the queen.'"

"Let me think…" Charles tapped his pen on the paper. "You summon a random devil during what I'm guessing was a song about vengeance… Alastor literally means 'avenger' in Greek. Your lines kept bringing up a devil replacing your consciences and indulging your thirst for vengeance, cue Alastor coming in. After you failed, he goes on a campaign to keep you alive until a blood loss injury causes you two to communicate… The shed blood must have caused the psychic link to awaken, which meant that depending on your rising emotions… Alastor fueled them with his own, giving you a double-dose. When you got angry, your queenly anger boiled but the demon anger created an eruption. Same thing with the disgust. If you two wanted and probably could, you can both hear each other's thoughts, feel each other's emotions, and basically know when the other is in peril. Fascinating!"

"What WOULD be fascinating is if I can get the hell out of this town!" Audrey nearly shouted. "If only I knew Beatrice's phone number! I'd call her so my friends could speed it up!"

"Speaking of friends…" Iclyn pointed at the semi-circular pathway they were on; coming in on their right were Noir and Jessie. Noir looked worn out, the marks underneath her eyes making it clear that she was partially tired, and Jessie looked rather neutral.

"Hi, Snowball," Jessie greeted at Charles direction.

"Poisson-Clown." Charles had a smug smile on him when he addressed Jessie Joker with the French word for clownfish. "How's life in the circus?"

"Busy. How's life outside of Auradon?"

"Strange. Got nested by a gargoyle, nearly fed to fiery gators, bathed by Parademons, went through the weirdest procedure ever, and nearly died at the hands of women who thought I was cute for no good reason." He and Jessie exchanged an amiable fist bump.

"You two know each other?" Audrey pointed at them.

"My boss gave him an express trip when she had business in the West. Thus why he got to Villainapolis in a matter of days while it took you a month or so," Jessie said. "By the way, I made a series of calls. Some incidents occurred but if things go well, Beatrice and Princess Ozzy should be able to pick you up tomorrow at 6:30pm and immediately follow the train tracks towards Witchachusetts on that crazy turtle of theirs. Apparently, your other two friends are sticking around with the locals until your train gets fixed. Hopefully, if things go smoothly, you'll be on that train to the Seussian Lands by the end of the week."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Noir coughed.

"Uh? Oh, right? My…" Jessie blushed a bit. "My green puddin' and her family will be waiting with open arms and the patriarch will tell you how to find Cassandra."

"The OTHER thing, Jessie!"

"Alright! Eesh!" Jessie muttered. "So… since you dealt with shit during the turf war and got, well, exposed, Noir thought of organizing a little get-together to cheer you up from the upcoming unholy matrimony." Jessie shuddered when she tried to say those words out loud.

"I made it clear that we aren't interested in following through the curse!" Audrey scowled. "I dealt with a whole new wave, rap battle against Blackfire to make my point!"

"Yeah, sorry if my mom pulled another one of her radical musical numbers on you." Noir shook her head. "Curse or no curse, you'll probably deal with problems bigger than finishing your globe-trotting road trip. So, I thought of organizing a get-together tonight to cheer you up in the traditional art of the common supervillain teen!" Noir raised her arms out and dramatically put her booted foot on the bench.

"We're gonna have a fucking rager?" Iclyn jumped on her feet in excitement. "Please tell me it's a fucking rager!"

"It's a fucking rager at Adagio Dazzle's Musical Theater!"

"ON THURSDAY POLE NIGHT?" Iclyn clapped her hands and squealed in glee.

"I'm at a loss of words…" Audrey shook her head.

"It's basically the Festival of Fools with more booze and Esmeralda dancing with more poles and less dress." Charles shook his head. "Well, you ladies have fun…"

"You're coming," Jessie said.

"I don't drink!" Charles protested. "And I'm under doctor's orders. No sex!"

"Then learn to look and not touch! Besides, they got baby drinks!"

"I'm not drinking from a sippy cup!"

Noir turned to Audrey. "Is he always like this?"

"How should I know? I just met him this morning." Audrey shrugged. "Do we have to go crazy, though."

"You either get crazy or you watch other people go crazy and take embarrassing pictures of them that you can use for blackmail," Noir said. "They do serve poinsettia champagne."

The thought of that beverage caused Audrey to lick her lips. She turned to Charles, who just gave her a surrendering nod. "Well, I suppose one crazy party won't kill me."

30 minutes after 6:30pm, in the penthouse just above the Nine Realms Club

Kory Lokisdottir and Macy Beth nearly had a heart attack when an explosion came from the living room. The demigoddess and her acolyte had been busy the whole afternoon, rigging the first quarter of the club with death traps to ensnare the Queen of Mean. They had made a break for dinner, and by the time the explosion came, Macy had been fixing Kory's bed.

A bookcase full of manuscripts was pushed forward like a door and Kory stepped out from a hidden chamber, her lips soaked with dripping purple liquid as she snapped her fingers, magically pulling the bookcase to hide the entrance.

"Kory? Victim remains?" Macy pointed at her lips to emphasize the demigoddess's drippings.

"Sorry." Kory grabbed a tissue and wiped off the evidence. "How do I look?"

"Definitely not like a centuries-old demigoddess who just drank mortal essence to hide the monstrous woman behind the faces of a thousand enemies," Macy volunteered.

"You shame Shakespeare." Kory smirked. The two went to the living room and found that the explosion came from the destroyed widescreen television. The machine was now scattered onto the floor in five broken pieces, sparks flying everywhere as smoke cleared to reveal a black delivery package with see-through blue tape. Yet again, Macy grabbed the fire extinguisher.

"Rather punctual and straight to the point, but does that demon need to destroy all my fucking electronics?" Kory shouted. "First my landline phone and now my TV! What's next? My social media?"

"Let's see the goods." Macy put away the fire extinguisher and pulled out some thick red gloves, the heavy kind used for welding. Grabbing her own dagger strapped to her belt, she ripped off the tape and opened the package. The first thing she pulled out was an old-fashioned recording tape on which she hit the play button.

"'This is some serious quality weapon I'm providing you, witch. My closest associates don't even know of this little exchange. If you value your life, don't scratch yourself by accident! I added a little touch of my own to the weapon, for quadruple-checking and to make sure that you bitches kill that girl properly! Remember! Only one shot at this! BECAUSE IF I FIND THAT FREAKSHOW FALLING INTO HELL AND WALTZING IN ALASTOR'S ARMS, I'LL…" Because of the burning smell coming from the tape, Macy did the smart move of throwing the tape out the window. Anyone outside on the ground level might have spotted the blue-and-red purse sized fireworks. The Scottish princess shook her head and went back to the package to pull out the main prize. Wrapped in a bundle of black bubble wrap paper was a hunting knife with its blade size rivaling Macy's forearm length. Its black handle shined in the darkness of the penthouse with its neon blue and red circuit. The silver blade had to be the scariest part perfectly straight and polished in its clip point, the girls almost saw their auras reflecting on the blade.

For the sake of testing and curiosity, Kory fidgeted her fingers. Green and blue fire appeared and formed into a living mouse jumping out of her palms. Kory held back Carmine by the collar to keep the wolf from chasing the rodent. This also gave room for Macy to test the weapon at the house. She held the dagger's handle between two fingers and effortlessly tossed it at the mouse. It hit the poor rodent right in the stomach, causing the rodent to not only squeal in agony as a silver white light tortured its soul, but to burn into ashes when a small electric explosion erupted out of it. By the time the fiery fiasco was done, all that remained was the dagger. There wasn't a speck of dust left out of the mouse's corpse.

Both girls looked fearfully at the weapon before Macy pulled out another recording tape she found in the package. "I figured I might destroy the other tape because of my hissy fit, so I recorded the rest for you. I did add some modifications. Sure, these sorts of blades can destroy a soul but I wasn't going to give anyone the chance to turn that girl into Alastor's personal Frankenstein! And yeah, this thing can be charged on an outlet every five hours but I want her dead in one stab! No body, no soul left! Like she never existed! Then we can move on with our lives and afterlives and I DON'T HAVE TO SHARE ALASTOR WITH ANYONE! FYI, this tape will self-explode in 10 seconds. Have fun!"

Macy panicked and proceeded to throw it onto the ground, stomping the tape with her chunky heeled boot until she destroyed the bombing system.

"OK, this guy takes jealousy on a whole new level!"

"Quite." Kory grimaced. "Compared to his associates, it's a unique jealousy…" Kory shook her head. "Come on. You and I still need to rig the rest of this building. I know he's sending that 24-hours security boost the moment she comes, but I like giving people reminders of who I am."

"Let my brothers each handle quarters of what's left to cover," Macy said. "The victims always come to you willingly, so I volunteer to spy on that little queen. See if there's any loose strings that we can use to pull her up here willingly."

"We'll be ready," Kory smirked. "Direct approaches. I want her fully awake when she sees that everything innocent about her old home is a lie."

"No booze?"

"No booze… for her. I'll have my cup."

"Speaking of cups, what's the first thing awaiting her in this penthouse?" Macy sneered.

"Think of Fisher in the 1980s… only with more colors and less modesty." The demigoddess grinned. "And a LOT of Auradonian tears that will spice up the feast!"

Later, at the Adagio Dazzle's Musical Theater

Audrey had been to a lot of teen-parties. Birthday parties, sweet sixteen parties, slumber parties, end-of-school-year parties, the prom, and even the strange parties that ended with people randomly singing and dancing like at Ben's coronation.

But a party where supervillain teens got drunk? That was new.

Adagio Dazzle's Musical Theater was exactly what it said on the label: a white-bricked building passing off as an opera house on the outside, very much like the theaters that Queen Leah used to take Audrey to as a child, especially when the theaters hosted ballet performances of Aurora's story. But the theater at Villainapolis was far more hectic. Imagine stepping inside a football stadium, the playing field replaced by a dance floor and the stories of bleachers replaced by 14-stories worth theatrical rooms of different uses: movie theater, operating theater (the building's clinic in case performers got injured), open air theater, ballet theater, in-the-round theater, cabaret theater, concert theater, fashion theater, musical theater, instrumental theater, strip theater, and everything that led up to the karaoke theater.

Apparently, Noir's idea of a 'get-together rager' with other teenagers was inviting nearly 70 different teenagers from all over the city, ranging from those in gang members that noir tolerated to the underdogs that craved attention from the big boys. The moment Audrey and Charles got in with their friends, they were startled by the number of teenagers festively cheering on the main floor or getting drunk at the bars. Because the main floor had been booked for Thursday Pole Night, at least 10 poles had been raised for young adult performers to do their work. Audrey found her cheeks burning in alarm when she realized that the performers barely older than her were throwing their clothes around to the point of being bare.

"I don't think I can handle this," Audrey shook her head.

"Doing a rager or watching strippers?" Jessie asked while Noir led them to a booth table she had reserved for them. "If it makes ya feel better, Mrs. Dazzle has very strict policies when customers book for parties and performances."

"No generation mixing. Customers can't be in the same room as performers older or younger than them," Noir listed. "Stripper rules: customers look but don't touch the performers, but the performers are allowed to touch you as they please."

"That's hypocritical." Charles covered his eyes when a waiter in a black can-can dress came in with the drinking menus.

"What's da matter? Cute eyes can't handle the heat?" The waiter flirtatiously asked, taking the opportunity of lowering a hand towards Charles' thigh. Audrey was tempted to intervene and tell the waiter to back off until she saw it. Fiery purple flames growing on the skin and scorching the black tablecloth as Charles pounded the table. Flames erupted out of his purple eyes, scaring the waiter.

"HELLFIRES OF HELL UNITE, JUST GET ME A FUCKING CHARDONNAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE! AND DON'T TOUCH ME!"

"Y… Yes sir! Uh, and for you, ladies?" The waiter nervously asked.

"What they usually get and poinsettia champagne for me." Audrey gestured at Noir, Iclyn, and Jessie. The waiter jotted down on the notepad and made a run for it, giving Charles room to cool down and lower the flames. Iclyn merely slapped her hand on the tablecloth's scorched areas to cool them off.

"Wow. If they had a 'no screaming and no pyromaniac threat' policy, you would have been kicked out." Iclyn rubbed her hands.

"This is a lot different from my ultraviolet energy beams." Noir looked at the scorched marks in curiosity. "Cool!"

"Question. You're a kid obsessed with demonology, a biromantic ace, AND a pyromaniac. Why hasn't Frollo killed you?" Iclyn asked. "From what I heard, he was insane."

"'Insane' doesn't even cover the bill," Charles grumbled. "And why am I alive? Let's just say that unless it was his ideas of religious education, I didn't have the same amount of attention as Quasimodo did. I am Frollo's biological son… and I slept in the attic. I had to learn everything on my own. I had to go to Gaston's tavern of all the places to be fed and tended! You hear me? I had to go to a retarded, chauvinistic male's house since I was three! And I had to add Frollo's minions on my list of connections when I was thirteen! And the paternal moron probably still has no clue that his 'decent minions' gave biology lessons I should not know by now by having me watch them fuck whores! Did I forget to mention that I'm already the creation of a drunk fling between Frollo and Mother Gothel?" The moment the waiter came in with the beverages, Charles drank his Chardonnay and forced his empty glass back on the tray. "Another! And no, I won't tip you!"

The waiter ran off screaming after giving the girls their drinks.

"Your anger and indulgence in sin make so much sense." Audrey did the cheers with her poinsettia champagne and Iclyn's Irish coffee.

"I wouldn't call it 'indulging in sin'." Charles air-quoted. The waiter came back with the Chardonnay and made a run for the hills. "I call it 'being human'. Frollo's idea of bedtime stories was telling me about his experiences in Hell before being thrown to life in the Hell. He wasn't technically wrong when he said that the world was full of vice and sin; he was just mortified on how there weren't torturous fires like the books described and he was surrounded by sinners indulging on a daily basis. 'You better behave, Charles, or I'll kill you and you'll see how you'll be in Hell without me!' That was his way of saying good-night. In Latin."

"You speak Latin?" Audrey asked.

"I spent more time with books than people. OK, call me insane, but that Chardonnay is delicious after the second sip!" Charles looked up to see Noir, Jessie, and Iclyn staring at him. "Quoi?"

"I'm starting to understand why just looking at causes all the mothers in this town to smother you. You're kinda pitiful," Jessie said sympathetically. "My Mommy Ivy would probably make some sardonic comment about humanity being assholes compared to plants before deciding to give you a hug."

"I thought you said your parents were Joker and Harley Quinn."

"Separated, my boss murdered my dad, and my mom married to Poison Ivy. Like Mama Harley always said, 'after every failed hookup with a clown, there's always true love with a green-thumbed chick'!" And just like that, Jessie pulled off her long-sleeved black shirt, revealing a red cropped top with a sewn picture of Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy kissing while diamonds and leaves shaped out AFTER EVERY FAILED HOOKUP WITH A CLOWN, THERE'S ALWAYS TRUE LOVE WITH A GREEN-THUMBED CHICK. Splendid, Audrey thought drily. Maybe I should get myself a T-Shirt that says that after every failed date with a prince, you wind up matched with a demon.

"Kind of ironic, considering you dated the son of Pennywise the Dancing Clown," Iclyn snickered at Jessie.

"The date was over barely thirty minutes after we got into the restaurant!" Jessie snapped. "Just because I was OK dating a child cannibal DID NOT mean I was OK with becoming a child cannibal, especially when your date tried to force you eating a tween meat pie! Even Ingwer Hexe didn't want to date him!"

"Ingwer Hexe?" Audrey perked at the name. "I met her when I crossed the mist with my friend Gothy."

"The Candy Witch and her daughter let you out?" Noir asked. "Are you conscious that you were in the house of child cannibal witches?"

To put it simply, it was a miracle that Audrey didn't throw up in her poinsettia champagne. The Hexe women, who had given her and Gothy shelter for the night. The women who had fixed her dog bite, tended them, fed them, and gave them directions to the Fae Moorways were cannibals? Why was it both disturbing and not surprising Audrey at the same time?

"Give her some slack, Noir." Iclyn slapped Noir on the forearm. "As if it wasn't tough enough for Audrey to have Alastor the Radio Demon…" Audrey gave Iclyn a dark look, causing the latter to raise her hands in defense. "Professionally, not matrimonial… ish. As I was saying, he's a cannibal. Does that mean Audrey will go cannibal just because she's associated with some? No. It's a free country after all."

A cannibal demon had been talking to Audrey in her nightmares… and the universe wanted to hitch them up. Audrey shook her head and gulped down her poinsettia champagne. "You cover the expenses for this rager?" She asked Noir.

"All the way until the last call at 10."

"Then hold on to your wallet. I'm gonna need at least 3 freakin cups after this."

WAY later

Audrey didn't know if it was because of the Fae magic or because of the demon forces, but she had drunk at least 15 cups of poinsettia champagne, smashed three bottles on the walls, and vomited at some point, but minus the hiccups unleashing colorful bubbles.

They had left the rager probably somewhere around 10:05. The night had fallen upon Villainapolis, causing the skyscrapers' lights to shine in the dark like rainbow stars. Audrey and Iclyn were probably the only ones suffering from drunk hiccups as Noir's limo pulled by the park they had met earlier. Why? Because Noir had said that 'it was healthy to spit out drunk shit that isn't some theater where you have to pay for damage'. The alien princess should have taken her own advice at heart because she had passed out by the time the limo drove off.

"My green puddin'…" Jessie drunkenly sighed as she frolicked onto the grass. "My green puddin' that wraps my heart with all the eggnog in the world!" She dropped headfirst onto the field.

"Easy there, Jess! The love of your life is all the way in Whoville!" Iclyn let out a mixture of laughter and hiccups as she and Audrey dropped themselves on a bench by a fountain oddly designed like a villain stabbing a hero in the back and water sprinkling out of the 'backstab'. The pool of the fountain had some underwater lights, causing the fountain's water to resemble a pool of purple poison. Charles probably had it worse as he hiccupped, tumbled, leaned into a trash to throw up, and looked paler than usual as he jumped on the edge of the fountain. His voice sounded strange as he suddenly started singing.

Charles: Je m'baladais sur l'avenue le cœur ouvert à l'inconnu
J'avais envie de dire bonjour à n'importe qui

"Hey… I know that song…" Audrey leaned her head back and put her hand on her aching forehead. "'Les Champs-Elysées', by Joe Dassin… I knew this maid who sang it… My grandmother said it shouldn't be sung around an eight-year-old…"

Charles: N'importe qui et ce fut toi, je t'ai dit n'importe quoi
Il suffisait de te parler, pour t'apprivoiser

Aux Champs-Elysées, aux Champs-Elysées
Au soleil, sous la pluie, à midi ou à minuit
Il y a tout ce que vous voulez aux Champs-Elysées

Charles suddenly dropped in the fountain. Freaked out, Iclyn and Audrey rushed to the fountain and stopped in their tracks when the purple water suddenly erupted out of the fountain, flooding the ground. Charles slid on the wet ground, creating splashes that formed into liquid purple illusions of Paris. Audrey's eyes beamed when she saw what 'used to be' the City of Lights.

Charles: Tu m'as dit "J'ai rendez-vous dans un sous-sol avec des fous
Qui vivent la guitare à la main, du soir au matin"

Charles swung himself around a lamppost, watery illusions of French folk and gypsies singing and dancing on the Champs-Elysées.

Charles: Alors je t'ai accompagnée, on a chanté, on a dansé
Et l'on n'a même pas pensé à s'embrasser

Aux Champs-Elysées, aux Champs-Elysées
Au soleil, sous la pluie, à midi ou à minuit
Il y a tout ce que vous voulez aux Champs-Elysées

Hier soir, deux inconnus et ce matin sur l'avenue
Deux amoureux tout étourdis par la longue nuit

Et de l'Étoile à la Concorde, un orchestre à mille cordes
Tous les oiseaux du point du jour chantent l'amour

Out of nowhere, Jessie appeared and pushed Charles onto the ground, the splash causing illusionary purple birds to fly away while the illusionary scene changed to the Place de la Concorde. Illusionary people kept dancing while a jazzy orchestra played and a couple kissed by the illuminated Eiffel Tower. Charles got up, kicked some water at Jessie's direction, and did a spin like an ice skater.

Charles: Aux Champs-Elysées, aux Champs-Elysées
Au soleil, sous la pluie, à midi ou à minuit
Il y a tout ce que vous voulez aux Champs-Elysées!

He stomped his foot, causing the water to fly into the air, explode like fireworks, and land right back in the fountain, splashing Iclyn and Audrey in the process. Both girls laughed hard and applauded with Jessie.

"Way to go!" Iclyn applauded.

"Merci, mesdames!" Charles mockingly acted like a theatrical diva. "Please, you're too much!"

"You sounded like Mathias Malzieu from that sad romance about a guy with a clock for a heart!" Jessie ruffled his hair.

"Yes, well, Mathias Malzieu has his socks drenched in food coloring invested water." Charles took off his right shoe and sock, squeezing out the water out of the latter.

"Well, I need a shower." Audrey squeezed her hair and walked up to Charles. "We should head back. We're leaving tomorrow."

"You're sure you want me to come?" Charles frowned, not in frustration but out of uncertainty. "I already pissed off everyone in your group."

"And I pissed out dozens of people since I left Auradon. Besides, you are NOT sleeping in that empty church again!"

Meanwhile

While the group was busy laughing their drunkenness away in the park and eventually made their way back, they were unaware that from a van parked on a steep street, Macy Beth observed the merriments with binoculars. Her hawk-eye gaze on the binoculars specifically focused on the grey-haired weakling that was being treated with kindness by the Queen of Mean.

"Well, it looks like she's got a loose string after all." Macy put away the binoculars in the van's gloved compartment and leaned in to look at the tall, muscular ginger blonde brutes she had for brothers sitting in the back and on the driver's seat. "You guys ready to toss cabers at the competition?"