Tea
In this random fanfic, we will answer the legendary question: what the hell is with the towel? It is the question whose answer has eluded the galaxy for a whole of - mmm, shall we say. . . three days! Rim shot.
It all started on a day. A day of a week. A week of a month. A month of a year. A year of a decade. A decade of a century. A century of a millenia. A millenia of the whole freaking expanse of time. Authur Dent made a cup of tea. He was wearing a bathrobe over his pyjamas and a towel slung over his shoulder.
Then, all of a sudden, Ford burst in, making Authur Dent spill his tea.
Authur jumped to his feet. "Ford! You made me spill my tea! You are going to die!"
"No!" Cried Ford, falling to his knees, "Before you kill me, just hear me out!"
Authur stopped mid way to strangle him. "What do you have to say? This was the best cup of Earl Grey I have made in my entire life!"
"No! It's my mother! She's sick, and she needs me to take care of her! And you see. . ." Authur glared at him. "No, actually, I came to show you the full purpose of the towel. This is the exact reason we carry it. For those times when your tea goes crazy on you and it spills all over the place." He demonstrated by wiping up the tea with the towel that Authur Dent had slung across his shoulder.
Authur Dent calmed down. He made Ford some tea and they both sat down at the table, in silence. For a while.
"So, all this way to tell me how to use my towel? And it's used simply for wiping up spilt tea?"
"No Arthur," said Ford, sounding like my grandfather telling me a story of 'the olden days' and 'when he was a boy', "People carry a towel simply to be prepared. I mean, if you were to suddenly feel sleepy and you were in the middle of the London, you could set it up between two lamp posts and use it as a hammock. And if it happens that you wake up and you find that you have slept walked to the top of Mount Everest, you could use it as a blanket. And also, if you feel like pancakes and it is an extremely hot day, you simply lay it on the road and pour pancake mix on top of it. The hot road will fry them for you and the towel will keep them clean."
"OK?" said Arthur Dent. "Is there any reasons for carrying a towel that is actually plausible?"
"Yes," replied Ford, and he proceeded to list them all.
Half an hour later, he was nearing the end of his list.
". . . can be used to wrap pancakes in to keep them hot and the most legendary of all these uses, to actually dry ourselves when we get out of the shower."
Authur Dent let saliva dribble out of his mouth. "You," he said, "are a moron."
Ford nodded. "Yes, indeedy, my friend. Now. . . " He pushed Arthurs tea toward him. "Drink up! The Apocalipse is coming! As soon as you're finished we need to hitch a ride."
Authur Dent nearly choked on his tea.
