Hi! It's JC here! We're at the root of all insanity...This fanfic is a spoof of a detective story just so you now. I'm sad because I can't put script here. That's the orginal idea for this but oh well...
Also here's a reference note...
This means
there's a voice over.
This is just normal
stuff.
"speech"
'thought'
I also refuse to continuously put disclaimers in each chapter. So here's the one and only...
Disclaimer: I don't own Yuyu Hakusho so quit nagging about it.
Yusuke
the Detective By Japan Cat
Case 1 :
Hiei's Katana
I'm Urameshi. Yusuke urameshi, a detective. So there I was-- sitting in my office enjoying lunch.
Yusuke screamed, "What hell is this! It's...It's alive!" He stabbed the jell-o to make it stop moving. "Die beast!"
There was my partner in crime-- Shuichi Minamino or Kurama, as we know him. he's a retired thief. That's what makes him a good partner-- he has the mind of a criminal master mind.
Kurama blinked. "Wait...Yusuke, what the hell? I'm not a retired thief! You bastard! Is that all I was to you!"
Hiei suddenly ran in, panting.
That was when she came. She had long silky blond hair and...
Hiei blinked."The ceiling...It talks...Yusuke I need your help!"
"State your name," Yusuke commanded. He pointed at Hiei accusingly.
"You know my name, you ass!"
Yusuke held a gun to Hiei's head. "State it bitch!"
Her name was Debbie Moore.
"Whatever Yusuke and your damn ghosts in the ceiling! Grr... Fine, my name is Hiei! Hiei!"
Hiei what's-his-last-name. A partner of Kurama's when he was a thief. He was probably on a break after stealing candy from little kids and stores.
"We never stole candy!" Kurama growled. "Besides, we only stole something that one time!"
"I'm seriously in big trouble! I lost my sword!" Hiei cried.
Hiei lost his sword. That's when it came to me-- my apple pie was crumbly.
"So tell me, Hiei. Why would you need a sword in Japan in this era?" Yusuke asked smugly.
"I kill demons," Hiei sighed.
"What, are you Buffy all of a sudden!"
"I don't slay vampires, you idiot!"
"So where was the last place you saw it?" Kurama asked, pulling out a notepad. From where, I have no freaking clue.
I glanced at Hiei for a second when I realized Hiei wasn't wearing pants!
"On my pants," Hiei sighed again.
"Oh ho ho! A pants thief, eh?" Yusuke laughed.
Kurama sweat dropped. "Where was the last place you saw your pants, dare I ask?"
"I was wearing them," Hiei replied blandly. "Where else would they be?!"
"Ha! So someone decided that it'd be funny to pull your pants down and steal your sword! Case closed! Class dismissed!" Yusuke responded.
"Not exactly, Yusuke," Kurama replied.
"I still don't have my sword back...Or my pants," Hiei added.
"Well, get a new sword and new pants. God knows how long you needed to change your clothes and bathe..." Yusuke growled. "I mean, you've only changed your clothes once during this whole frickin anime!"
Hiei's eyes got teary. "No..."
"What!"
"I've had those pants as long as I can remember..." Insert flashback revealing a baby Hiei. "It's the same with my sword!" Insert same flashback.
"Whatever!"
Hiei looked at him with puppy eyes.
"Fine! Just don't give me that look again!" Yusuke shuttered.
A few minutes later...
So there we were at the scene of the crime.
"Okay, so the culprits are...Hiei, Kurama..." Yusuke was interrupted.
"I'm the victim. Why would I be a suspect?" Hiei asked.
"I was with you the whole time, how could I have stolen Hiei's pants?" Kurama added.
"I learned not to trust a retired thief," Yusuke replied. "They are crafty people..." Eye shift.
"I learned Homie don't play that," Hiei added.
"Right... According to that guy over there, the rest of the suspects are Karasu, Jin, Suzaku, and Yukina. It's a wonder why he doesn't know the thief."
Just after these interviews, we would have a case solved. Victory was so close I could taste it.
"Yusuke, stop licking my ear," Kurama growled.
"Sorry..." Yusuke laughed.
Karasu
Ah,Karasu...The Michael Jackson of the Demon Plane...
"Whatever!" Karasu spat. "Who are you and why are you dressed funny?"
"I'm Urameshi. Yusuke Urameshi. So why did you steal Hiei's sword?...And his pants?"Yusuke asked.
"Why would I do that? It's all Jin's fault!"
"Just answer the question bitch!"
"I didn't steal anything from the crazy little man! Ask Jin. He was laughing about something earlier. Never mind the fact that we've never met!"
"Sounds like the truth," Kurama said.
"To Jin then!" Yusuke cheered.
Jin
There was Jin. He seemed innocent.
Jin was standing over a hole, a butterfly net in his hands. "Come out you bastard...I dare you..."
"Yo," Yusuke greeted.
"Come on..."
"Yo!"
"Get out damn you!"
"HEY DAMMIT!" He whacked him on the head with a frying pan."So Karasu says you stole Hiei's sword... And his pants."
"I would have stolen it if he never pulled out a bat and beat me with it!"
"So what would you do if you got that sword?"
"I would kill that damn Lucky Charms leprechaun for stealing my idea!"
Kurama sweat dropped. "Do I have to write that in the notes?"
Yusuke sighed. "No."
"Ask Suzaku. He was satisfied about something," Jin suggested.
Yusuke sighed again. "To Suzaku."
Suzaku
Now we're meeting with Saint Beasts. Great. And Jin was right, he was satisfied.
"So Suzaku, you're jolly today. Is it because you stole Hiei's pants?" Yusuke asked.
"No, I don't like his pants. Black sucks. Red rocks." Suzaku replied.
"Rock on!" Kurama cheered earning himself blank stares. "What? It's my favorite color."
"So why are you happy?" Hiei asked. Raised eyebrow.
"Well...I got tickets to a (insert random band's name here) concert!" Suzaku swooned.
"I have officially heard too much."
"Now we know who the thief was!" Yusuke announced. "Now I taste victory!"
"Stop licking my ear," Suzaku growled, looking disturbed.
"I thought you were passed out."
"Oh yeah." Swoon.
Yukina
Our last possible culprit--Yukina, Hiei's sister. Is it possible that she stole Hiei's sword?
Yukina was playing with animals.
"Hey, Yukina. We have a question for you," Yusuke commented. A squirrel attacked him. "AIEE! GETITOFF!"
"Is it true that you stole Hiei's sword?" Kurama asked.
"No, of course not!" Yukina cried. Waves arms around.
"So why are you holding a sword behind your back?"
She looked at the sword."Mine!"
"But that's my sword..." Hiei whined.
"No it's mine!" Yukina repeated.
"Mine!"
"Mine!"
They both started fighting.
"So is it safe to say case closed now?" Kurama asked.
"That's right, Kurama. Hiei found the thief, but it's not my job to get his stuff for him. Let's be glad Karasu wasn't the thief," Yusuke responded. He added under his breath, "The pedo."
"That's right! 'Cause Homie don't play that." Pause. "Wait, what was that last part?"
"Nothing!"
And I still don't know what happened that day, and for that matter, how Hiei got his sword and pants back. Or why Yukina even stole that stuff. It shall forever remain a mystery.
End Case 1
Hope you all enjoyed! Please review! Flames are accepted so fire on the screen! See you in chapter 2!
Late note: Welcome back. You're probably wondering what just happened right now... Well... I came back to this fic and decided I needed to work on my spelling and take out pointless author's notes. Cause really. We don't need those. I added a bit more stuff here and there but I pretty much left this the way it was. So... Anyway move on then.
