"So what do you think of the new Inspector?" Bradstreet asked. Hopkins' response was to promptly take another drink from his glass.
"I've been told to keep my opinions to myself." He replied. Bradstreet laughed.
"That bad?" He asked sympathetically. Hopkins nodded.
"I've only run into him once, and Gregson overheard, and…"
"Suggested you keep your mouth shut." Bradstreet finished. "Don't worry, he won't last."
"How can you be so sure?" Hopkins wanted to know.
"Because he's already managed to run afoul of Gregson, and the Constables have no respect for him." Bradstreet replied easily. "And he won't listen to a word Jones says. You'd think he'd realize there's a reason they have him paired with the man, but he thinks he already knows everything."
"Don't they usually pair the newcomers with Lestrade?" Hopkins asked, recalling his own promotion to Inspector and the two weeks he had spent trailing after the older man.
"Usually," Bradstreet confirmed, "but Lestrade's been out working on some secret case no one's supposed to know about." He snorted. "As if the fact that he's been missing from work for a week doesn't scream that he's been called away by someone higher up in the government."
"You think he'll be back soon?" Hopkins asked.
"I hope so. We could certainly use him." Bradstreet's expression abruptly darkened. "Oh, lovely."
"What?" Hopkins tried to see what Bradstreet was glaring at.
"Jones is here. He brought Greene with him."
Hopkins groaned. So much for a relaxing evening. "Why?"
Bradstreet shrugged as the two Inspectors joined them in their corner and Jones signaled for a drink. "Jones. Greene." Bradstreet's greeting was less than warm. Hopkins reminded himself to keep his mouth shut.
"I take it you've already met?" Jones asked Bradstreet. The other man nodded, but didn't elaborate. "I've been trying to get him to where he can recognize those of us who don't wear a uniform."
Greene peered around. "He wanted to introduce me to-what's his name? Lestrade? Some fellow who hasn't been around all week."
"Lestrade." Hopkins confirmed. "Is he back?"
"I thought I heard something about him getting back today." Jones replied. "Don't hold me to it, but if he is…"
"He'll stop here before he heads home." Bradstreet finished. "What took you?" He asked as Gregson joined them.
The most recent arrival scowled in reply. "Some crazy old woman came in ranting about how her neighbors are out to steal her cats. All eight of them. I had to agree to have a talk with the neighbors first thing in the morning before I could get her to leave." He groaned and leaned back into his chair. "What's he doing here?" He asked, noticing Greene.
"Jones brought him." Bradstreet said quickly, before the newer Inspector could open his mouth and say something offensive. Gregson was not in the mood to just wave it off. "So was the rest of the day as bad as the last part of it?"
Gregson shuddered. "I wish Lestrade would get back. He's the one that likes asking Holmes for help."
Hopkins unwisely opened his mouth. "I don't think it's that he enjoys it so much as he doesn't mind admitting he needs the help."
"I don't mind admitting I need help." Gregson retorted, favoring the lad with a glare. "It's the abuse that gets old."
"Ah, but Lestrade takes twice as much from the man as you do, Gregson." Bradstreet pointed out. "Have you introduced Greene to Holmes yet, Jones?"
Jones rolled his eyes. "Why would I do that when I can't even get the boy to mind his manners at the Yard?" He wanted to know.
Greene sniffed. "I really don't think-" He began haughtily.
"That much is obvious." Gregson cut him off. He'd had enough of the young man for one day. "If you want to learn something about the people you work with, keep your mouth closed and your eyes and ears open."
"I've learned plenty enough about you lot." Greene snapped.
Gregson scoffed. "Well you aren't here to learn about us, you're here to learn about Lestrade, if he ever shows up, and I don't envy you that experience."
Bradstreet was interested. "You think it will be that bad?" He asked.
Gregson studied Greene for a moment before replying. "You weren't there the last time Lestrade decided someone needed taught a lesson. None of you were. It wasn't pretty. I'm warning you, Greene. Keep your mouth shut."
Greene huffed and took a drink from his glass. "I didn't come here to take your abuse." He informed the other Inspector angrily.
"Are you abusing someone else while I'm gone, Gregson? I'm hurt." Lestrade was back after all, and apparently in enough of a mood himself to poke at his 'rival.' He took one look at the new Inspector sitting in his usual seat and went for a stool from the bar. There was a shuffle as those already seated moved to make room for the man.
"Why'd you come back so soon? The Yard is always so pleasant with you gone!" Gregson called to him.
He set his stool down right beside Greene, and signaled for his usual as he sat down. "How's Mr. Holmes doing?" He asked pointedly. Gregson scowled at him, but didn't reply, and Lestrade turned his attention to Greene. "Michael Greene, right?" He didn't wait for a reply. "Lestrade."
"The infamous Lestrade. We've been talking about you, or they have." Greene chuckled. "You don't have a first name?" He asked. Dark eyes did not reciprocate his humor.
"Giles." He said. "But you may call me either Inspector or Lestrade."
"Or both." Bradstreet chimed in brightly. Lestrade ignored him in favor of studying the man beside him.
"How long have you been with us, Greene?" He asked. Gregson winced. He hoped Lestrade wasn't going to give the new Inspector a full interrogation here and now.
"Three days." Greene replied. Lestrade didn't give him a chance to elaborate before moving to the next question.
"Who are you paired with?"
"Him." He jerked his head towards Jones.
"And how is that going?" Lestrade wanted to know.
Greene rolled his eyes. "Mostly it's just been one person after another telling me how dangerous the job is and how I'll be lucky to last the first week."
Lestrade considered this. "What seems to be the problem, then?" He finally asked.
Greene shrugged. "They seem to think I'm not as good as the rest of them. I've spent three days doing paperwork and getting lectured." Lestrade waited impassively while the other vented. "And when Jones got called out yesterday he left me behind and said it wasn't something I was ready for."
"Oh." Lestrade said. "I see." Greene waited, but the smaller Inspector was apparently finished. He turned his attention to his drink, and Hopkins turned and asked Gregson what he was going to say to the old woman's neighbors the following morning.
Gregson tersely replied that he was simply going to stop by and mention that the woman was worried about her cats; he was watching Lestrade out of the corner of his eye, waiting for the next move.
Greene was staring at the smaller Inspector with some annoyance. It was only a matter of time before he grew tired of waiting for an explanation and demanded one. What happened then-
"So can you tell us what you were doing?" Bradstreet asked. Lestrade shook his head.
"No, but I'll tell you this. That is the last time I admit that I can speak passable French."
"You speak French?" Hopkins was surprised. Lestrade shot him a look.
"No." He replied evenly. "I don't."
"Didn't you just say you did?" Greene wanted to know. Lestrade raised an eyebrow in response.
"I don't think I did." He told the newcomer.
"You said-"
"That it was the last time I admitted that I can speak passable French." Lestrade cut the man off. "Passable is a very broad term, and open to interpretation."
"Did you insult someone?" Now Gregson was curious.
Lestrade almost smiled. "It must have been an accident." Was his cryptic response.
"Did you insult an official?" Bradstreet asked. Lestrade ignored him. "Did you get into a fight?"
Lestrade sighed, and gave in. "I was assigned to work with a man who was six foot one, overbearing, and badly in need of a lesson in manners."
"And you were the one to teach him?" Greene broke in, incredulous. Again, Gregson winced.
"He could teach you a thing or two." Jones retorted. Greene couldn't help but look the smaller Inspector over critically at this, nor could he completely stop the smirk that was threatening to emerge. He may have been newly promoted, but he was certainly no rookie when it came to fighting.
Lestrade turned to look Jones straight in the eye. "Is this why you brought him?" He asked conversationally. "You were hoping I'd knock some sense into him?"
Jones didn't bother denying it. Greene looked from one of them to the other. "He wants you to what?" He asked Lestrade, insulted.
"Knock some sense into you." Came the easy, if infuriating reply.
"You're too full of yourself." Gregson put in helpfully. "Can't tell you anything."
"You couldn't introduce him to Mr. Holmes instead?" Lestrade wanted to know as Greene shot Gregson a glare. "Easy, there, Greene. Annoying people is a hobby of Gregson's."
"Well he's certainly good at it." Greene retorted. "I've never met anyone so proud of himself simply for not being illiterate. As if we should all be impressed by his extensive vocabulary."
Gregson was considering teaching the boy a lesson himself. Bradstreet laid a restraining hand on his arm, and Gregson decided it would probably be more fun letting Lestrade do the honors anyway. Greene didn't notice; he was too busy watching Lestrade.
Lestrade looked thoughtful. "You might choose your words a little better in the presence of the man himself. And his colleagues." He added as an afterthought.
"But it's insufferable!" Greene insisted. Lestrade sighed.
"You do know it's considered rude to talk about a person as if they aren't there, don't you?" He inquired absently, checking his watch. "It's getting late. Elisabeth will be waiting."
Greene looked curious. "Are you married? They say most men in the force are unhappily married. Usually the wife gets tired of her husband never being home and eventually starts looking for comfort elsewehere."
"Oh, geez." Jones muttered. Gregson looked apprehensive.
Lestrade had kicked the other man's chair out from under him, sending him crashing to the floor. People looked their way, then wisely decided to look elsewhere.
Lestrade stepped forward, grabbed the young man by his collar, and hauled him to his feet. Then he hit him. The force of the blow sent Greene stumbling backwards, or would have, if Lestrade hadn't grabbed his collar again.
A few minutes later, Greene had received the thrashing of his young life.
Lestrade dragged the new Inspector up off the floor and dropped him unceremoniously in a chair. Then he pulled up his stool and studied the battered Inspector. After a moment, he spoke. "There are a few things you need to get straight if you're going to make it as an Inspector, boy."
"I'm not-" Through a bloody nose and split lip, the young man was still stupid enough to try arguing.
"You act like one." Lestrade cut him off evenly. "And it's going to get you in trouble. Stop thinking you already know everything."
"I don't-"
"Shut up and listen when your fellow Inspectors are trying to tell you something, and stop arguing. You're going to get yourself, and possibly someone else, killed if you don't smarten up. Now I don't care how old you are or how smart you are or who your uncle is, you'd better get your act together if you want to survive."
Greene didn't say anything this time, and Lestrade leaned closer to the man. His voice lowered. "And concerning marriage, Inspector, you have just managed to insult the wives of three of the five man you're sitting with. I would suggest that you refrain from mentioning the subject again."
He stood, returned his stool to its proper place, and again checked his watch. "Good evening, gentlemen." He excused himself, and calmly headed for the door.
"Wow." Bradstreet finally managed. He almost felt sorry for Greene now.
Greene had the look of someone trying to come to terms with what he has just witnessed. Much to Gregson's amusement, Hopkins and Jones wore the same expression.
Disclaimer: Sherlock Holmes and the boys do not belong to me.
