Author's Notes: Hey, look at that, I'm actually getting an update out in a timely manner! I'm so proud of me! And even with my schedule being as crazy as it is...wow...
So, how is everyone doing? How is school treating you all? I know it's crazy for me, with my three AP classes driving me absolutely insane, plus all the college stuff...but I can handle it. In fact, I like being really busy, because it keeps me from slipping into lazy habits, which, as a teenager, I'm prone to doing on occasion.
This chapter is, again, more of a filler, but I promise that the action starts up again in the next chapter. I firmly believe that fillers are vital to the survival of a story, so I put several of them in my plots. This one should be nice and sweet for all you fluff lovers who've been complaining about not enough romance between our favorite hanyou and Kagome. So, with that in mind, I'll shut up and let you get on to the actual chapter. Enjoy!
Title: Impossible Dreams
Author: dolphingirl0113
Chapter: Fourteen
Rating: PG-13 (rated for language, violence, and implied sexual situations)
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
DEDICATION: For Ted Dorsey, the greatest coach I will ever have, the most wonderful and patient mentor I will ever know, and the best friend I could have asked for. Thank you for everything you did for me in my life.
The stragglers looked like they had entered heaven itself as they took in the sight of the former training grounds of the demon exterminators, now littered with fires that were surrounded by people. The eldest, a man with graying hair, gazed at Sango with a pleading look, and the woman had no choice but to relent.
"Of course you can stay here," she replied to his silent question, and the trio lit up like a Christmas tree as they nodded and muttered their thanks before moving over to sit before one of the fires.
"Sango," Inuyasha came up beside her with his arms crossed and his face grim. "You can't keep allowing people in here. It's not like the space in here is limitless, and how in the hell are we supposed to feed all of them?"
Kagome put a hand on Inuyasha's shoulder, wearing a kind smile even though her face looked drawn and tired. When she wasn't helping all the homeless former slaves, she was practicing with her bow and arrows, and as such had very little time for sleep. And when she did sleep, her dreams were plagued by nightmares. "I know you want to help them as much as I do," she chided kindly.
"Keh, speak for yourself," he replied gruffly, looking away.
"Inuyasha, they need our help. Most of them are so young, or old, they can barely take care of themselves. They wouldn't survive for more then a few days on their own. It's a miracle they're all finding their way here."
The hanyou rolled his amber eyes up to the ceiling of the cavern. "Maybe they should have thought of that before they all decided to rebel at the same time."
Placing her hands on her hips, Kagome acquired the look that told everyone she was prepared for battle, and Sango took a step back as she sighed in exasperation. "You don't honestly expect me to believe that you would have had them stay in the bonds of slavery because it was easier on you." She huffed and looked him square in the face. "I know you're not that heartless."
"You think you know so much about me, wench!" He snapped back. "But in reality you know nothing about me!"
"Well maybe I want to, but you won't give me a chance!"
"Why should I, when all you do is boss me around all the time?" Inuyasha smirked ruefully. "Why should I trust a woman who thinks she knows everything, and yet clearly understands nothing about the misery of being a slave, and the desperate need for revenge that I have in my heart?"
Kagome felt tears well up in her eyes as the corners of her vision went hazy. "How dare you!" She acted like she wanted to hit him, but managed to restrain herself, her hands balled into tight fists. "I understand more then you think baka! Maybe if you weren't so self-centered, you'd realize that!"
"Keh," he spat back, "You understand nothing!"
"My mother was murdered before my eyes!" Kagome finally snapped. She held up her hands before clenching them tightly again, tears rolling freely down her cheeks, and everyone in the cavern was staring at her in surprise. "Her blood stained my clothes...spattered onto my cheeks and hands...I could smell it all around me..." Her body was shaking now, and Inuyasha could only gape. "And all I can think about is the fact that, while all this was happening, that monster of a woman laughed!"
Sango took a step forward, unsure of what to do, and reached out to touch her friend's shoulder. "Kagome..." But the ebony-haired woman shrank back, her body shaking in earth-shattering quakes.
"I was trapped in my home, thinking I would be burned alive, believing I had not a friend in the world." Her voice was now deadly calm, her eyes, normally so kind, hard as flint. Inuyasha flinched when she looked at him. "My father was burned alive, along with my best friend and his parents, so that now I have no one left in this world to love me save for my grandfather." She sucked in a deep breath, and her body stopped shaking. "So do not tell me, any of you," she swept her hand around the cave, knowing all eyes were on her, "That I don't know the meaning of suffering and loss." She finished her sweep by staring at Inuyasha, and he shivered involuntarily. He'd never seen her like that before. "You have no right."
A silence, stronger and tenser then anything anyone had ever felt before, filled the cavern, and everyone looked around, trying to find the person who could make it all just go away. There was conflict everywhere as slaves fought against their masters, as everyone prepared for the repercussions that would follow thanks to Naraku. But no one had thought about the fact that there might be conflict within their own ranks. The thought was frightening, because if they didn't stand united, they didn't stand a chance of winning their freedom once and for all.
"Kagome..." Sango all but whispered her friend's name, and the younger woman flinched, as though waking from a dream, and looked at Sango with a pleading look in her eyes. The former demon exterminator understood, and wrapped her arms around Kagome's shoulders kindly. "Let's go do some target practice, eh? That would be the perfect way to work through whatever it is you're feeling right now."
Kagome nodded and leaned against Sango for support, feeling not only drained from her sudden adrenaline rush moments ago, but also feeling extremely embarrassed for lashing out in such a way. The people here needed confidence, not someone trying to tear them apart...and she was doing a horrible job of helping their situation, like she had promised to do.
As the two women passed by, Inuyasha noticed that Kagome didn't even look his way once, making him feel lower then dirt. All he had wanted to do was goad her on a little...for some reason he got a kick out of seeing her fight back. She was the only woman he'd ever met to do so, rather then just back down, and it helped him vent his pent-up frustration.
But in that moment he'd pushed her too far, he could see that now. It forced him to realize that even Kagome Higurashi, sweet, kind, caring Kagome...who seemed to have all the patience in the world when it came to an old man trying to eat a bowl of soup or a young child who wouldn't sit still while she tried to bandage his cut leg...had her limits.
He was startled out of his thoughts when something whacked him, hard, across the back of the neck, and he howled in pain as he whirled around to see the offender, finding none other then Kouga glaring at him with his hands on his hips. "What did you do that for, dog breath? It's bad enough that she feels all this pressure to earn the trust of the slaves...but then you have to push her even harder!"
"I was..." For once Inuyasha, the son of Inutaisho and the prince of the Western Lands, was actually speechless. Kouga took advantage of that by continuing with his rampage.
"You know that she has nightmares all the time, you idiot, and you know full well what they're about! How could you say something like that to her?"
Now Inuyasha was starting to wake from his stupor, and didn't appreciate being reprimanded by a wimpy wolf. "Hey, it's not my fault she's so sensitive."
"Sensitive!" Kouga made to whack the hanyou again, but this time Inuyasha was ready. "It's amazing she puts up with as much as she does from you! You insult her at every turn, you put her down, make her feel lower then dirt..."
"I do not!"
The wolf man put a hand under his chin thoughtfully. "Let me see, what was it that you said? She's only good to you because she can purify the diamond shards?"
Hearing his own words spat back in his face, Inuyasha felt his mouth close shut, not knowing how to respond to that. Finally, feeling desperate, like he always did when backed into a corner, he flung his arms out and away from his body and snapped back. "Of course I would have said that, that's what she's good for. At least I'm honest, unlike you and everyone else here. Do you think that if she couldn't purify the shards all the slaves would still allow her to live?" He smirked. "They hate her. They hate what she stands for, and they hate where she comes from. To them she'll always be nothing more then the daughter of a slave master."
Inuyasha found himself flat on his back before he could speak another word, and Kouga's nose was practically touching his own as the wolf growled in warning. "If you ever insult her again, dog," he spat the word as though it were filth in his mouth, "You will die."
The hanyou, furious at being tackled to the ground, shoved himself into a sitting position before punching Kouga in the face. "What's your problem anyway?" he retorted. "It's not like she cares for you...no matter what your feelings may be for her."
"Kagome cares for everyone, and that's enough for me." Kouga kicked Inuyasha in the gut, sending the hanyou flying backwards. "I can make her love me, in time. She and I were meant to be together, I've known that since the first day I saw her and she saved me from a harsh beating from her father." He smirked. "She's my woman."
For some reason, that sent Inuyasha spiraling into a rage, causing him to see red. "What did you say?!" His hands were around Kouga's throat before the wolf man even had a chance to block the attack.
"I said she's my woman...do you have a problem with that, dog boy?"
"You take that back," Inuyasha ground out, squeezing Kouga's throat as though it were nothing more then a clay pot in his hands that would shatter at any moment.
"Inuyasha, stop!"
He froze the moment that familiar voice washed over his body, turning to see Kagome staring at him in shocked horror, Sango and Shippou behind her. "You're...defending him?"
The surprise in his voice was evident, and Kagome couldn't understand why he seemed so confused. "Of course I'm defending him," she replied curtly, smarting from everything he had been saying. "Unlike you, he values my company, so what else would you expect?"
"I..." Inuyasha felt like he'd been hit in the gut with a tree trunk. The fact that she was taking Kouga's side made him feel...betrayed. Betrayed? Why should he feel that way? She owed him nothing, and he certainly didn't want her charity or her pity.
And yet...he had to admit, he liked it when she fussed over him. He liked it when she gave him those soft smiles that said she understood exactly what he meant, even though he wasn't very good at voicing his thoughts. He liked it when she defended him against the humans who accused him of being heartless and cruel. Now...was she abandoning him?
Kagome felt taken aback as she moved forward and saw a deep hurt in Inuyasha's eyes. He seemed absolutely shell-shocked that she would defend Kouga.
Refusing to give in to the desire to kneel beside him and tell him it would be alright, she closed her eyes and turned so that she was looking at Kouga. "Are you okay?"
The wolf man smiled, seeming absolutely overjoyed that she was coming to his aid. "I'm fine now that you're here, Kagome." He smiled at her, his handsome face innocent and full of charm, but Kagome just shook her head and sighed inwardly, wishing he would choose someone else to love...someone who could love him in return.
"Keh," Inuyasha rose to his feet and stomped off in the opposite direction, muttering something about sappy situations, and Kagome could only watch him go, feeling a pang of regret form in the pit of her stomach.
With soft footsteps, Kagura approached the familiar balcony, her fan half covering her face. She stopped just shy of the door leading out into the open air, half hidden by the shadows of the curtains, and looked down at the tiny figure beside her.
Kanna stood perfectly still, her unseeing eyes focused straight ahead, her small white hands clutching the mirror that was her lifeline to her chest. Her beautiful white hair blew about gently in the wind, the petals of the white flower pulling back several of her locks fluttering.
With a pang, Kagura looked from her sister to the tall, stoic figure before her, his face turned away from them both, his long brown hair falling down his back, perfectly combed, as usual.
It reminded Kagura of how she had run a brush through Kanna's hair only a short time ago, while the girl had stood motionless, still holding the mirror...always the mirror...the only sign that she was even alive the fact that her chest moved slightly as her lungs filled with air.
Sighing inwardly, the wind sorceress looked back at the man once more, gritting her teeth against what was to come. How she hated bringing Kanna to him, to be used in whatever way he saw fit.
When she spoke, her voice was hardly her own, but detached, as it often was any more. It was the only way she survived. "You sent for me, my lord?"
"You have brought Kanna?" He asked in reply.
"Yes."
He motioned with his hand. "Bring her here."
Swallowing, Kagura took Kanna's hand gently and led her towards Naraku, their footsteps equally silent, until the white child was standing before him, still as a frozen pond.
Glancing down at her, Naraku nodded. "Kanna, show me where Inuyasha and his ill-formed group of companions are right now."
Without even blinking, Kanna turned so that she faced him, and within seconds her mirror revealed an image of the demon exterminators cave, filled with several tiny fires, people littering the floor, fast asleep. The image moved until it came to rest on Inuyasha, who was leaning back against a wall, his legs crossed and his head down, clearly sleeping as well.
Naraku chuckled. "Always at the ready, aren't you, Inuyasha?" He closed his eyes for a moment, as though lost in thought. "I wonder if you will ever again be able to sleep in a bed, knowing that you are safe..."
The wind was all that disturbed the silence between them for several minutes, when Kagura finally lost patience. "My lord, is that all?"
Naraku eyed his deadly assassin carefully for a moment before returning his gaze to the mirror, which still showed the sleeping hanyou. "Kanna, show me the girl who has the ability to purify the shards."
The image shifted, panning out and around the cavern, until it came to rest on a small sleeping fir occupied by a girl with black hair, her eyes shut tight, a little kitsune at her chest, his hands wrapped in the fabric of her dress as he slept.
Raising his eyes skeptically, Naraku grunted. "This is the woman I should fear? This is the woman who can purify the shards, and who you, Kagura, claim is a threat to me?"
Kagura glared at his back, not liking his mocking tone at all, but managed to bite her tongue. She wasn't in the mood for a lashing, or any other kind of punishment. "Believe me, my lord," she replied finally, "That woman is more dangerous then you may think. Appearance isn't everything."
Naraku nodded. "How true." He looked back at the mirror, and Kagome shifted, her face scrunching up into a frown, a low moan escaping her lips. Naraku cocked an eyebrow thoughtfully. "It would seem she is having a bad dream."
"Indeed," Kagura agreed, though her opinion had not been asked for.
Her master laughed, the sound low and cruel, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "Dream then, Kagome Higurashi...and know that your nightmares are only a taste of what I have in store for you." He looked back at Kagura. "After all, a threat cannot be allowed to live, true?"
Knowing she had just been told of her next assignment, of her next murder victim, Kagura, the wind sorceress, sighed in resignation. How she hated killing...hated taking the lives of innocent people who had no say in whether or not they were born into a world full of greed and hate and suffering.
"Indeed, my lord," was all she said in reply, her voice low and full of regret.
Fire...it was everywhere.
Kagome looked about frantically, but saw that there was no way out, no way to escape the hot, licking flames that seemed to reach towards her like hands through the gates of hell itself. She wouldn't give in...she refused to die this way...
"Help!" She cried, her voice surprisingly strong, but as she screamed, she heard the sound of crashing glass, and watched, in horror, as another torch came flying through the window to her bedroom. Shouts of anger were everywhere, not a friendly voice to be found, and Kagome felt very alone.
"Help!" She tried again. "Help me!"
"It's alright, sweetheart, I'm here," a voice called out to her. It was a kind, soft, feminine voice, one that Kagome would recognize no matter what.
"Mama!"
Izumi Higurashi appeared through the flames like an angel, dressed in white, her hair brushed back and away from her face, her flawless skin glowing. She held out her arms and smiled. "It's alright, Kagome, I'll save you. I'll always protect my little girl."
"Oh, mama!" Kagome felt tears pour from her eyes as she ran towards her mother's figure, the ultimate symbol of safety and security in this world that had gone so wrong.
But just before she reached out and touched her hands, Kagome watched, in horror, as blood stains appeared on her mother's white dress, leaking out and seeping to the floor. The woman looked up, her eyes suddenly dull, and Kagome saw, behind her, Kagura, her fan outstretched, as though she'd just attacked. "Kagome..."
"Mama!" Kagome's voice was full of horror as she watched her mother's body pitch forward onto the ground, Kagura's figure fading into nothing. "NO!"
She was dead, Kagome knew it. Her mother was dead.
Stepping away from the horrible sight, Kagome turned and started to pound on the walls around her, desperately crying for help. But her voice, to her horror, began to fade...fade away.
"Help me, please!" She screamed, her voice going hoarse. "Don't leave me in here to die! I don't want to die!" She looked back at her mother's dead body, now covered in blood, and shivered. "Get me out of here! Don't leave me in here with her body! I don't want to die!"
Panic welled up in her breast, and Kagome whirled around desperately as the flames spread, covering her mother's body so that it was no longer visible.
"I'm here, Kagome," she heard her father say, and Kagome turned to see Mr. Higurashi standing before her, just as proud and handsome as he'd ever been.
"Father!" She fell into his arms, and he held her tight. "Oh father, take me away from here, please..." Her voice was now but a whisper, a feeble cry for help.
"I will, Kagome, I promise. You're safe now."
She started to close her eyes, feeling safe and secure, when suddenly her skin grew very hot and, looking up, she saw her father's body burst into flames, his scream filling her ears. Leaping back, she watched, helpless, as his body caught fire, his arms, covered in flames, reaching towards her as though to beg for help. Horrified, a shriek tore from her lungs, and she stepped backward even more, until...
A sickening crunch was all the warning she received before the ground gave way underneath her, and Kagome felt herself falling...falling into nothing...falling into despair, loneliness, and death...and no one was there to save her...
"Help me," she cried one last time. "HELP ME!!"
A voice, though faint, replied, and Kagome tried to figure out who the owner was, but she was sinking into darkness, away from the world of the living. "Kagome!" She knew that voice... "Kagome!"
Lurching forward, Kagome found herself sitting up, the fur blanket Sango had given her falling from her white fingers and pooling in her lap. Her heart was racing, her skin was clammy, and her face was white as a ghost.
Afraid she was still in the nightmare, she started shaking horribly and rubbing at her arms and legs, feeling them burning from the flames, gasping as though the smoke were still choking her lungs. But even as she panicked, she felt someone strong grab both her shoulders and give her a good shake, bringing her back to reality...the reality that she had been dreaming, and was now awake...the reality that she was still alive...
"Kagome, snap out of it!"
"What?" She turned her head sharply, and found herself gazing into a pair of concerned amber eyes. Inuyasha's mouth was set in a grim line, and his face was tense with worry. "Oh, Inuyasha..." she put a hand to her forehead, shocked at how cold her skin felt. "I must have been dreaming."
"Keh, having a nightmare is more like it."
She blushed and looked around, noticing that everyone else still seemed to be sleeping, including Miroku, Sango, Kouga, and Shippou. "I..." Her voice caught, and she gripped the blanket in her lap for support. "I'm sorry I woke you up." She looked away. "I'm sorry I'm always such a bother to you."
Inuyasha winced at the cruel comment and, without thinking, gruffly pulled her to her feet. "Come on, let's get you outside. You need some fresh air."
Too weak and exhausted to protest, Kagome leaned against him for support as he led her towards the cave entrance, seeing the stars beyond and feeling a slight breeze comb through her hair as she stepped outside. Taking in a deep breath, she relished the feeling of fresh air in her lungs.
"I wish I could take a bath," she said suddenly, remembering how it had felt to be caught in the flames, falling into darkness, the stench of her mother's blood all around her.
"Really?" Inuyasha looked at her for a moment, seeming to think, before coming to a silent decision and nodding his head. "Alright then, follow me."
"What?"
"This way..." He rolled his eyes as though annoyed. "There's a stream over here. It's cold, but you can rinse off if you want."
She stopped. "With you watching?"
He huffed. "I won't watch you, you stupid woman. What kind of guy do you think I am?"
She acquired a thoughtful look, as though actually considering how to answer, and he rolled his eyes again and picked her up. "Just forget I asked."
His arms felt strong and safe, and Kagome nestled against his chest happily, almost disappointed when she heard the sound of water running over stones and turned to see the small stream glinting off the light of the moon. But soon her need for a bath overcame her need to feel safe and, climbing out of his arms, she knelt by the water, glancing over her shoulder. "Promise you won't peek?"
"Yeah, now just get it over with."
Once he'd turned around and Kagome was satisfied he wasn't looking, surprised to find that she trusted him to keep his word, she stripped out of her soiled dress and dunked it in the cold water, washing away several weeks' worth of dirt, blood, and sweat. Then, once she'd scrubbed it as much as she could, her hands red from the cold, she held her breath and scrubbed her own body, squatting in the stream and rubbing the water over her arms, legs, face, and even managing to dunk her head enough to get her hair.
Unfortunately, she hadn't considered the fact that when she was done she would have nothing dry to put on and so, as she stood shivering, stark naked for all the world to see and blushing like a strawberry, she tried to get Inuyasha's attention without having him turn around. "Um...Inuyasha?"
"What?" He started to turn. "Are you done yet?"
Quickly, out of instinct, crossing her arms over her chest, Kagome squealed in protest. "No! No! No! Don't turn around!"
He froze, but did as she commanded. "O...kay..."
"I need to borrow your...um...your red jacket." She paused. "Please."
"What?" He started to turn again, and she squealed again in protest, causing him to flinch in pain, his sensitive ears falling back against his head. "Would you keep it down, woman? Some of us have super hearing, you know."
"Sorry." She tried again, this time softer. "Can I please borrow your jacket?"
"Why?"
She sighed in frustration. "Can you just let me borrow it? It will only be until my dress dries, okay?"
"Keh," He shrugged out of the jacket and tossed it over his shoulder, leaving him dressed in only his white undershirt and red pants, "Whatever, woman. I never said you were all that smart."
She snapped up at that, but decided to bite her tongue this time. After all, he'd taken her out to clean up in the first place, when he could have just left her in the middle of her nightmare back in the cave...all alone...
The red jacket, surprisingly, fit very well, long enough that it covered anything important (though it was still short enough that it made her blush), the long sleeves covering her arms and quickly erasing the goose bumps from her skin. And more then that, it smelled like Inuyasha. It had the essence of pine trees and fresh air about it, and she inhaled deeply, sighing in pleasure. She liked his smell.
"Can I turn around now?"
"What? Oh," she blushed, having forgotten he was even standing there. "Yeah. Thanks."
"Whatever." He seemed to like that word, she thought, as he turned around and eyed her, noting how the sleeves seemed far too big for her, and how short the jacket was, revealing a fair amount of her long, creamy legs. Despite himself, he gawked, and she blushed, moving to sit down against a nearby stone, looking out in the direction of the hills of the West.
"You don't have to stare, you know," she reprimanded, and he blinked out of his reverie, coming to sit beside her.
They sat like that, in companionable silence, for several minutes, before he finally turned to her and raised an eyebrow. "So, do you want to talk about it?"
"Talk about what?"
"Your nightmare."
"Oh, that..." She looked at the ground, and he noticed her body beginning to tremble slightly as the smell of fear started to overtake her usual scent of sweet vanilla.
"Kagome, don't be afraid," he suddenly said, looking at her in concern. "I'm right here, and I'll keep you safe."
She looked at him, and her eyes were suddenly full of gratitude, but also, more then that, he recognized a deep-seeded pain. One that, he knew, he carried in his own eyes.
"Oh Inuyasha," She suddenly threw herself against his chest, clutching the fabric of his undershirt, "It was horrible! There was so much fire, and death, and suffering! I didn't know what to do! No one was there to save me! I thought I was going to die!"
His body had gone rigid once she'd latched onto his chest, but slowly, as he felt her tears dampen his shirt, he felt himself relax, and before he even could think about the intelligence of what he was doing, Inuyasha found himself wrapping his arms around her small body and holding her close.
"You're safe now, Kagome," he murmured into her hair, smelling the fresh water she had just washed all over her body. "That's all that matters."
"But the fire..."
"Don't worry about the fire any more," he interrupted. "It can't hurt you. Nothing can."
"How do you know?"
He stopped. How did he know? Why was he telling her this? "Because..." He paused, thinking about what he was trying to say, before he realized what he meant. "Because I'll always protect you."
She pulled away then, sitting up on her knees, though her hands were still on his chest, and met his gaze with her own, as though she would read his mind. Not wanting to pull away, he kept his arms around her, though it was a bit of a reach, and waited for her to speak.
"Wh...what did you say?" Her voice wasn't above a whisper as she spoke.
"I said..." His eyes went soft, and he realized then that he meant what he said. Whatever else they argued about, he realized that he never, ever wanted to see Kagome harmed or in danger. The thought brought warm feelings to his chest...feelings that were foreign, but that, at the same time, he didn't reject. "I said that I'll always protect you, Kagome. And I mean it."
She stared at him for another few seconds before, surprisingly, leaning back against his chest again, a soft smile on her face. "I'll hold you to that promise, Inuyasha," she whispered, and he smiled, a true smile, as she fell asleep in his arms, out under the stars.
