Beta: Frannie

Prereaders: Jill, Pearly, and Ariel

My heart: Full if love for my readers and reviewers.


Conversation via Facebook Messenger via Bella Swan and Alice

Bella: Thanks again for being my knight in shining armor

Alice: Anytime, boo

Alice: Any news on your stalker?

Bella: OMG

Alice: What? A girl has needs.

Bella: That doesn't mean I'm desperate enough to sleep with a literal random stranger.

Alice: Why not? That's what Tinder is for.

Bella: Anywho...how's Jazz?

Alice: Hung and slung. 8=D

Bella: Gross.

Alice: *shrug* You asked. Swear that man's ass just doesn't quit.

Bella: Ew, man ass.

Alice: What's wrong with man ass?

Bella: It's always...froggy

Alice: AHAHAHA WHAT?!

Bella: Ya know, flat af. There's no definition between back and ass. That's why I check women out more than men, even though I don't sleep with women. Opposite of frog ass.

Alice: Are you high rn?

Bella: Maybe a little…

Alice: Frog ass… I CAN'T with you

Bella: I'm serious! Look around next time you're out, you'll see what I mean!

Alice: Well Jasper's ass isn't froggy. It's biteable.

Bella: Gross again.

Alice: Don't be jelly.

Bella: I'm soooo jelly. On toast. Shit, that sounds good. BRB.

Alice: I know your ass didn't leave me for munchies.

Alice: *jeopardy theme*

Bella sends a picture of frog butt.

Bella sends a selfie of her eating toast.

Bella: Toast before hoes, bitch.

Alice: Why do I put up with you?

Bella: Cause I'm hot and know how to hide a body.

Alice: Valuable traits in a friend for sure. Call me if you finally decide to off Jake. ;)

Bella: Obvs. Give J a kiss for me. But like, on his face.

Alice: What? You said kiss his non-froggy ass? No problem babe.