I said this story was completed, but I think I'll write a few bloopers for it, since I had so much fun writing it. (Blooper sprays author with ink) I meant 'bloopers' as in outtakes, not the Mario enemies! These are outtakes, so, yeah. This chapter may have to be in script.
Warning! Some bloopers contain material unsuitable for children. Reader discretion is advised.
(disclaimer: I do not own the smashers… yet)
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(Chapter 1: Bowser has called Ganondorf 'Twinkiebutt')
Ganondorf: When I find the person who made me look like that, I'm gonna give them a taste of my Warlock Punch!
(waits for Captain Falcon to say his line, but he doesn't enter the room)
CF: (off stage) Hold on! Hold on! Ahhh! (toilet flush sounds) (CF finally enters)
Kojinka: Cut!
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(Chapter 1: The villains are getting ready do go to bed)
Ganondorf: I call top!
(Bowser is climbed in underneath, but he notices that it is not SSBM Ganondorf that is hopping to the top bunk, but was actually Ganondorf from TWW)
Bowser: What? Wait! NO!
(It was too late. TWW Ganondorf landed his fat butt on the top bunk. The force of the landing and TWW GD's weight were so great that the bunk bed snapped. Bowser would've been flatten like a Koopa pancake had it not been for his shell)
SSBM Ganondorf: (walking in with an ice cream cone) What?
Kojinka: (sigh) That's it! No more stunt doubles!
Bowser: (struggled out of the bunk bed ruins) Thanks a lot, GanonD(scene retake beep)
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(Chapter 2: next day, 9 am)
Bowser was… Bowser!
Bowser: zzzzzzzzz (snore)
Kojinka: Wake up, Lizard Butt!
(Bowser doesn't respond)
Kojinka: Great. Did Wario spike Bowser's non-alcoholic beverage again?
Wario: I wanted to be in-a the story, but I'm-a not a Smasher! (leaves)
Kojinka: Where are you going?
Wario: To Nintendo HQ in-a Kyoto, so I can-a get-a to the bottom of-a this-a glaring error! By the way, I enjoy your scene divider.
Kojinka: Get out of here before I turn those dividers upside down!
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(Chapter 2: Ganondorf sees Bowser playing TWW)
Ganondorf: Why, you insolent fire-breathing TURTLE! (GD shoots beam from index finger, but misses target and hits Bowser)
Bowser: OW!
Kojinka: Cut!
(Take 5. Ganondorf says his line and shoots his beam, but how, hits an expensive Gerudo vase)
Ganondorf: FU(scene retake beep)
(Take 8. Ganondorf says his line again and shoots beam again, but the beam now hits the Gamecube)
Ganondorf: MY GAMECUBE! SON OF A— (Before he can finish his curse, Ganondorf collapses in to a sobbing pile, then gets a heart attack.)
Kojinka: Ohkaaayy. I guess we will resume tomorrow.
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(Chapter 2: Zelda slapped Link for saying that phrase from the eighties Zelda cartoons)
Ganondorf: Is this something personal, Mr. Ladies' Underwear?
(Link stands up fuming, but instead of us seeing white bikini underwear, a black censor block was covering his waist.)
Kojinka: (entranced by Link's naked body, but shakes herself to concentrate on the issue) Cut! Link, where are Zelda's panties?
Link: They're in the laundry. (blushes) I got nervous and spilled grape juice on them.
Zelda: WHAT! (Zelda nabs Peach's frying pan and knocks Link unconscious)
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(Extra chapter)
Peach: (humming) Whoa! (While Peach is cleaning D.K.'s bathroom mess like a super maid, she trips on the bath mat, and her face lands in her bucket of soapy water.) Ungh! Pft! Pft!
Kojinka: LMAO I love it, but cut!
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(Extra chapter: After Luigi enters the bathroom)
BBBBLLLLLLLLLLTTTTTT
Marth is walking down the hall, and when he smells the Luigi crap, he faints. Luigi exits bathroom
Kojinka: (enters wearing a gas mask) Umm Luigi, whatever you had for lunch today, don't eat it tomorrow.
(Take 2: same time, next day.)
Luigi was about to enter the bathroom, but Pichu shoves him aside.
Pichu: Sorry, dude. Huge emergency. (slams door)
Kojinka and Luigi: O.O Uh, oh. AAAAGGGHH! (Kojinka and Luigi take cover)
An explosive 'BBBBLLLLLTTTTT' is heard throughout the Smash Mansion
Luigi: (cough) Mama Mia!
Kojinka: Better evacuate the mansion.
(Mario enters and turns the scene dividing 'W's upside down, then walks off screen innocently whistling the SMB overworld theme)
(Extra chapter: Midnight)
Ganondorf: Sooooomewheeeere ooover the raaainbow,
Kojinka: Cut! You're supposed to be singing the song about big butts!
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(Extra chapter: a little bit after the Midnight scene)
Jigglypuff: Puff! (Jigglypuff grabs her microphone and sings)
Kojinka: (yawn) Not a bad idea—zzzzzzz (before Kojinka can finish her sentence, she falls asleep)
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(Chapter 3: the smashers are eating their supper)
Luigi: Mario, quit-a hogging-a the pepperoni!
Mario: BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRPPPP
Kojinka: ROFLMAO Oh, man! Why did I have to leave that out of the final version?
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(Chapter 3: Master Hand enters dining room after the smashers left to watch anime)
Master Hand: (sigh) I hate Saturdays.
(Garfield enters)
Garfield: Saturdays are okay, but Mondays are much worse for me. Okay, Kojinka, I made an appearance! Where is my lasagna?
Kojinka: There is none. The Marios ate it all.
(disclaimer: I do not own Garfield)
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(Chapter 3: Smashers are watching anime)
Samus: Hey, Mario, you okay? You look a little green.
Mario: Everything-a looks-a—blleeeaaaaaaaahhhhhh (Mario spewed pizza chunks all over the carpet)
Everyone: Eeeewwww!
Luigi: That's-a what you get-a for-a stealing my line!
Kojinka: Okay, Smashers, we'll shoot this scene next week. Pukesmith, salvage as much of that vomit as you can. We'll use it for a later chapter.
(The Pukesmith is a cousin for the Poopsmith I made up for this moment. The Poopsmith is from the Homestar Runner internet cartoons, which I do not own)
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(Chapter 3: 9pm)
Peach: Look at the clock! I think it's about time for two young boys to be off to bed.
Ness: No!
Young Link: You'll never take us alive!
(Young Link and Ness brandish huge weapons)
Kojinka: Cut!
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(Chapter 4)
Nana: Inuyasha? (Nana jumps around the room with anime hearts in her eyes till she crashes into the camera)
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(Chapter 5: Mewtwo grabs Young Link in the hallway in front of Zelda's room)
YL: Hey! What are— (Instead of teleporting, Mewtwo accidentally ram YL and himself into the door)
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(Chapter 5: Mewtwo rips the tape off Link in Princess Zelda's room)
Link: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGHHH! You (bleeping) (bleep) (bleep)! Why I oughta—
Kojinka: Whoa, Link! Watch the language! Cut!
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(Chapter 5: the ropes are cut from Link)
Link: Let's-a go!
Kojinka: Cut!
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(Chapter 5: Mewtwo and the Links teleport into the Bros.' room.)
Link: Eew! Italian vomit!
YL: (sniffs) Ugh! Who did that?
bound and gagged Mario: (muffling a claim)
Kojinka: Oh, god! Cut! Open some windows! Jeeze, Mario! Your farts smell worse than mine. And mine smell pretty bad. O.O
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(Chapter 5: Mario rushes out of the room to rescue Peach)
Young Link: Should we follow him?
Link: (donkey face) Uh, duuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh!
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(Chapter 5: Mewtwo uses his x-ray vision on Bowser's door)
Mewtwo: Sweeeeet hot tamale! (drools)
Mario: Hey! Are you using your x-ray vision to see through my girlfriend's clothes?
Mewtwo: No. (drools) Link's girlfriend.
Link: You pervert! (whacks Mewtwo with the hilt of the Master Sword)
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(Chapter 5: Bowser and the Mario Brothers are about to fight)
Bowser: BWAHAHAHAHAHA—COUGH! COUGH! Oh—COUGH! Gawd! I'm—COUGH! Choking—COUGH! On my own—COUGH! Saliva!
Mario and Luigi: (ROFL)
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(Chapter 5: Mewtwo uses x-ray vision to see through Ganondorf's door)
Mewtwo: Oh, gawd! Ganondorf's raping Peach!
Mario: WHAT? I'LL KILL THAT BASTARD! (Mario storms into Ganondorf's room leaving a comical Mario-shaped hole in the door)
Kojinka: Ganondorf? o.O
Mario: Wait a moment! (pokes head out of door) Ganondorf was doing none of the sort!
Mewtwo: Well it was a lot funnier than me teleporting you guys.
Mario: I'LL KILL YOU INSTEAD!
Mewtwo: Uh, oh!
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(Chapter 5)
The key that Ganondorf sneezed out hits Mario on the face
Mario: Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! Ganon snot! Get it off! Get it off!
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Hmm. My funniest ideas seem to come when I drink lots of pop (soda for you southern readers). Hope you enjoyed these sugar high bloopers!
