We halted not far from the crime scene, marked by brilliant yellow "DO NOT CROSS" tape.
"Colonel Mustang, sir," I said, "Have you or any of your men been in the crime scene, or moved or touched the body?"
"Well, uhh, other than me, Riza Hawkeye, my subordinate…"
"Did you remove the body?"
"No."
"Good."
I exited the car, and scanned the area quickly. The area that was taped off was an alleyway, with the usual collection of trash, rats and other vermin, plus about half of the the two adjacent storefronts. I could see a baker arguing with one of the military guys, probably complaining about how the crime scene was going to kill business. I'd seen it all before. Ignoring the argument, I walked over to the edge of the tape, wondering where Killan had gotten to.
Soon enough, another military truck pulled up and he jumped out the back, followed shortly after by Havoc and Fuery. He walked quickly over to me.
"So, are Mustang's subordinates really large troll-like boulders with Playboy centrefolds in place of brains?"
I asked with a smirk.
He sighed a luxurious plume of smoke. "Well, they're not complete imbeciles, I'll give them that."
"That's damning them with faint praise. You are such a cynic," I replied, rolling my eyes. "Let's get started, eh?"
We entered the scene of the crime. There really wasn't anything important near the mouth of the alley; no signs of fighting, or bullet casings, nothing like that. The body itself was near the back; young white male, early twenties, brown hair. He was slumped against the brick wall, shot once through the heart, but his throat had also been slit, the blood pooled on the ground and staining the front of his uniform. His hands were bruised; he had apparently tried to fight off his attacker, albeit unsuccessfully. All this I scribbled into my handy little neon green notebook.
Killan pulled several hairs off the victim's sleeve and bagged them as evidence. "One blonde, one black," he commented, studying them carefully. "Not too long, not too short…"
"Uh huh, uh huh," I nodded, writing furiously. "Anything else?"
"Not easy to tell the cause of death…it could be either the gunshot or the severing of the windpipe. We're going to have to wait for the autopsy to come in. Speaking of which, do they even have a coroner here?"
"Not that I know of."
"I think we should ship this guy off to Chino, if you ask me."
"Hell yes. She and Chiu are the best coroners in the military!"
I'm dead serious. The two of them provided the best autopsy reports I've seen in the history of forever. NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING gets past those two. The only problem would be getting the body to them, but I'm sure that it wouldn't be too huge a hassle. Besides, it would be totally worth it.
"Right, " said Killan, "Do they have any witnesses?"
"Well, I heard that that Fullmetal kid was pretty close by when it happened. I think that he was the one who discovered the body. Him and his armour-sporting baby brother. We'll talk to them in a moment. We need photographs."
"Way ahead of you," he answered, handing me the camera. "You were really caught up in that notebook of yours, so I took some liberties."
I smiled. He can be pretty sweet when he wants to be.
We walked back to the crowd that had settled around the scene of the crime, and I tracked down Mustang quickly.
"Colonel, we need to ask the Fullmetal Alchemist a few questions," I said. He nodded, smirking slightly.
"Just don't call him short," he chuckled.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE NEEDS A MEGAPHONE JUST TO GET SOMEONE'S ATTEN—"
The Fullmetal Alchemist turned out to be a short-ish boy of about 14, with blonde hair pulled back into a braid. His eyes were odd, a rather striking shade of brown, almost gold. Currently, he was frozen with his mouth in mid-yell, his eyes practically popping out of his sockets, staring at Killan as if the Lieutenant had suddenly had an alien burst out of his stomach.
The Lieutenant raised one eyebrow quizzically. "Yes?"
"You…you…you're…" sputtered the boy, pointing weakly.
"I'm what?"
"YOU'RE SHORTER THAN ME." He fell to his knees, tears of joy glittering in his eyes. "FINALLY THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO IS ACTUALLY SHORTER THAN MEEEE! THERE IS A GOD!" He paused. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-one."
"THERE IS INDEED A GOD!"
"Sorry to interrupt your sudden spiritual awakening, but you wouldn't happen to be the Fullmetal Alchemist, would you?" growled Killan, his half-lidded eyes glimmering dangerously.
"Huh?" The kid had his arms stretched wide, like he was trying to hug the sky. He looked around. People were staring at him. He stood up, and cleared his throat nervously, turning a lovely shade of fuschia. "Ahem… hahaha…uhh, yes. Yes I am."
"Is your brother nearby?"
"He's, uhh, right over there." Fullmetal pointed at a gigantic guy in a suit of armour, who immediately stomped over to us. The armour had a horn on the helmet plus an awesome tassel. I liked it already.
"Nii-san!" exclaimed the armour, "I found you! You just keep getting lost in the crowd!…and who's this?"
"Lieutenant Killan Fellslift, Blade Alchemist," said Killan, massaging his temples.
"I'm Colonel Genya Erdien, the White Wolf Alchemist. And you are…?"
"Alphonse Elric, and this is my older brother Edward," said Alphonse, shaking my hand. "Is there something wrong, Colonel?"
I smiled. For an armour toting weirdo, Al was very polite. "We just need to ask you and your brother a few questions, if you don't mind."
Edward shook his head, still blushing. "Not at all."
"We need to know exactly what you heard or saw last night at around, say, ten-ish," I began, my pen poised over the paper.
"Well, we were heading to the hotel from headquarters, when we heard a commotion. There were two people yelling, then a gunshot, and then the sound of running footsteps, but before we got around the corner the guy had gotten away. We immediately checked the alley, but by the time we got there the guy was dead," recounted Fullmetal thoughtfully, rubbing his chin.
"Then…?"
"I left Al to stay with the body and called headquarters immediately."
Killan's eyes flicked back and forth between Edward and Alphonse, thinned suspiciously. "What exactly took you so long at the military headquarters?" he growled, breathing out a tendril of smoke.
"Paperwork," Ed groaned, shaking his head as if just thinking about it gave him a headache.
"But your brother isn't in the military," continued the Lieutenant, gesturing towards Alphonse with his cigarette.
"Nii-san and I try to stick together most of the time," answered the suit of armour.
Killan raised his eyebrows sceptically. "You don't say."
"It's all true. Just ask Mustang," Edward said, then grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "that smarmy misogynistic bastard".
"That will be all for now. Thank you very much, Edward and Alphonse." I snapped my notebook closed as the two began to walk away. Killan watched them silently, his brow furrowed as he dragged on his cigarette.
"The armour's hollow," he said finally, "I'm nearly positive. And that kid's right arm is made of metal."
I blinked, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Roy Mustang freeze in the middle of a sentence.
"How can you tell?" I demanded.
"The sound that the younger one makes as he's walking echoes far too much, and I couldn't see any clothing or flesh in between the joints of the armour, and you can't see his face through the helmet. Even with it closed you should at least be able to see his eyes and part of his face." He blew a perfect ring of smoke before continuing. "And the other one…the blonde kid. His right arm creaks a little bit when he moves it. Also, when he was "spiritually awakened" I noticed the shine off his forearm in between his glove and his shirt sleeve."
In my peripheral vision, the Colonel turned slightly towards us, so he could hear us better.
"You never cease to amaze me, Killan," I said, shaking my head incredulously. "I never would have noticed that."
"You will eventually, kid."
"I did, however, note Colonel Mustang's reaction. He seemed shocked that anyone could have figured that out." I made a quick note of it in my book. "I think there's something going on with those kids…"
