This was it…it had to be, 10 year old Negi Springfield was running with every bit of speed he could muster. He's gonna need it, he's got a whole mob trailing behind him. Cries of "GET HIM!" and "DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!" trailed in the air behind him like an advertisement banner. The more people heard the cries, the more people joined the mob(mostly for the heck of it). And what had he done this time? Nothing…nothing at all…well…he did beat them all at card games…but that was all. It wasn't as if using a card of himself was wrong. Everyone always had cards of themselves (which, strangely, are always damn strong cards).
A number of cows looked up as they heard a cloud of dust emit a scream of panic as it ran down the countryside road. Behind it, an even larger cloud of dust, with it's own cacophony of yells, was in hot pursuit. The cows watched the two clouds of dust as they passed a huge sign that said, "Midgar, the model of the future, 200 miles" and had a large population meter under it that was rapidly spinning, ironically, downwards, which either meant people wanted to leave the future or apocalypse was already starting in Midgard.
The cows mooed….but amongst the moos, there was a faint yet distinct "myuuu".
Hi, sorry for the long wait. Been busy lately, but here's chapter 2. Finally. I decided to just extend the crossover to include a large mix of all the Final Fantasy series …well, not all. Just Final Fantasy VII to Final Fantasy X, and maybe a bit of FF tactics. And who knows, I might add in a mix of other Square Enix games, like Star Ocean 3, or whatever. And I have no idea for the pairing either…I mean, any ideas, anybody? I think I'll just make it a vote system, so please vote via review. There are at least 40 female characters to chose from, and who do you think will be paired up with Keitarou. And off course there's Negi and the other male characters to pair up as well. Interesting thought, isn't it. Remember, keep those votes coming in!
Well, enjoy, and please Review. Thanks.
And if you have the time, please read Arcanius Hina as well, and tell me what you think.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the Final Fantasy series, they are all properties of Square Enix. I don't own Love Hina or Negima either. They both belong to Akamatsu Ken and Tokyo Pop. Neither do I own Arcanius Halo.
A collection of people had entered the spacious circular room. There was the zombie man (Though his features had now taken a more Indiana Jones look), the guy who was teaching in the class, and a number of ladies. "So...where's our proprietor?" asked the Indiana Jones.
"I heard she was going to give the school to someone she deemed highly capable." Said the teacher-person.
"Oh, really. Well, I hope we could get him or her to give us a raise." At this point, Keitarou peeked from behind the desk and saw, to his horror, that the voice belonged to the girl who had mistaken him for someone else in the hot springs. "And where is that pervert? I was sure he ran in here..."
"Yep, lady luck exists...and she's got to be screwing with me." Keitarou thought.
"Out of the question...Naru" another lady sighed. This one had rather thick glasses on. "The school is running at a bare minimum running cost. No way it could afford a raise." She slowly shook her head.
"So where is proprietor Hina?" the Teacher person asked, standing on tiptoe to see behind the desk in case the elderly woman was skulking about, waiting to throw another cream pie surprise.
"Furthermore, is the new proprietor here?" The Indiana Jones asked, looking around.
"Seta….er…Hey, who's that..." The lady with the glasses asked. She seemed to have noticed Keitarou's head behind the desk. Just then, a whole group of students came in.
"Hey, have you found the flasher?" asked the basketball player.
"Yeah, where's the streaker?" asked one of the cheerleaders.
"Yeah, we haven't finished our practical. Rule number 3, don't leave your opponent standing (or alive for matters as serious as this)" Said a brown skinned girl. There was a faint knock from underneath the office desk.
"Can't wait to run him through, chop him up, and feed him to the chocobos..."Said the raven haired swordswoman. The large impressive leather office chair behind the desk wobbled uncertainly.
"Motoko, Chocobos are herbivores..."Another girl piped up. She was the one who pelted him with books, Keitarou thought. The said chair started to inch slowly towards an open window.
"Yeah, they eat gys...gis" Another brown skinned girl was trying to find the word, her face contorted with forced concentration. The chair had reached the end of the desk. It paused there, and there seemed to be a sharp intake of breath before it continued to inch beyond the protection of the large, solid, wooden desk.
" Definitely something green, Ku Fei." Another girl ended the discussion definitely. There was a creak from the direction of the chair, the clear sign that the universe was quite against anyone trying to act inconspicuous by hiding behind it.
"Ara…What's that?...wait…let me rephrase…who is that?" The girl carrying the watermelons asked, pointing at the naked Keitarou who was attempting to sneak across the room towards the nearest window behind the large leather office chair.
A certain passing (a Final Fantasy world sized bug, well, you get the idea, even bugs make 'big' entrances in this bizarre world) flying bug, that happened to pass the window of the office by pure coincidence (coincidental enough to be convenient for the author), if it was capable of coherent thought, would have thought 'hey, Bzzz…there zeems to be a Bzzz…a lot of them squashers in there…what in the name of the dungheap are they doing? Er…Buzz…"
Then it would have thought, " why are they all trying to squash that one there? I thought the reserved squashing for bugs…er…em…buzz." Then if its physiology had permitted it, it would have flinched as it saw the person splatter against the window, then slide down, making a wet balloon noise as the girls behind him bore down on him. Well, bugs, even the final fantasy world ones, aren't capable of coherent thought beyond 'buzz' but, nevertheless, it was just the author's way to fill up space on the page, you understand.
What happens next had been deemed far too graphic for even the strongest of mentalities by the department of censorship, so let's just say a couple of bones were broken, there was quite a bloody mess, and the damage report that was filed afterwards noted that the large expensive (considerably heavy) chair had been smashed into pieces, evidently on something very hard, and, if it were living, it had to be immortal to still be alive. Which was strange, cause it took three strong men to heave the chair upstairs, how it managed to fly up and fall down was a mystery in itself. There were unconfirmed reports of a towel flying off, resulting in an increase in the level of carnage and violence on the girls' part. Oh, and it might be worthwhile to note that the chalk outline (you know, one of those crime scene things to mark dead bodies) that was made at the scene afterwards by one of the brown skinned girls, very closely resembled modern abstract art…in fact, there was nothing remotely human about it…
Oh, minor point, nobody died…not just yet, anyway.
He felt like he was swimming…well, his eyes were giving him the sensation of it…either that or he was deep in piss…which would have been a good way to round off the metaphorical joke, hahaha…ehem…he noticed that he was lying down, on something soft…could it be…but no, the universe wouldn't be nice enough to let him die, that's why he's immortal. It's the universe's idea of a joke, a pretty cruel, sadistic joke at that…which is probably why it came up with day time comedy soap operas and banana peels.
People were swimming across his hazy vision. Their voices sounded far off…unfortunately…not far enough…he could still hear them but he wished he couldn't. Especially as every word sent a metaphorical (yet, anime-wise, were very palpable) knives, swords, and occasional light sabers into his heart. They were talking about him.
"He's our new caretaker? Man, what happened to quality control?" a boy nearby commented. Keitarou vaguely recognized him as the only boy in that classroom he passed through.
"Rayce, how can you be sure he's the new caretaker?" Keitarou recognized this voice as the voice of the boy who he knocked down during his escape.
"Funny you should ask that, Lee. The teachers have been discussing it, it seems Proprietor Hina had left a message before her suspiciously abrupt departure. It said she left the entire school in this boy's hands." The boy named Rayce said.
"How do you know its this boy then?" The boy named Lee asked.
"The note actually specified that the boy in question will be found half naked inside her office…uncanny, isn't it?" The girl with a ponytail sticking out the side of her raven black hair said.
"I think you've got a point, Setsuna. Pretty creepy, yeah. I mean, suddenly proprietor Hina mysteriously disappears and this boy is named proprietor and caretaker…Could he have…"
"…No…you're not saying…proprietor Hina can't be…"Another pink haired girl said, tears welling up in her eyes. Keitarou closed his eyes…yep, he is going to…well, not die, he can't die…well, suffer is probably the proper word, yeah, suffer, here in this school…one minute he fails his entrance tests, then he gets chased stark naked around the whole frickin' school, then his grandma decides to shove off and land an entire almost bankrupt school in his laps, then he gets the worst ass-whoopin any normal human would have happily died off (in his case, he had to survive and suffer the pain, that's the universe for you), and now, to sum up his perfect day, he is being accused of murder…just….perfect.
He got up slowly and said with a cold voice, "I didn't murder anyone, if that's what you're implying."
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! IT'S ALIVE!" The pink haired girl screamed.
The boy named Rayce picked up a large sledgehammer (that, out of comical convention, had to have 10 tons written on it in red ink) and slammed it down on Keitarou's head. Just before Keitarou blacked out, he heard him say, "Ooopss..sorry about that…I think I overdid the anesthetics…."
Keitarou woke up some moments later. His attention was immediately taken up by the pain throbbing in his head. Man, I don't need the license plate of the truck, I need the god damn driver's telephone number and address, along with the location of his dog's kennel, he thought. He looked around slowly. He was still in the infirmary. His bed was right beside an open window. Clear blue skies were beckoning outside, ready to catch any ideal optimist with a thunder storm the moment they ventured outside for a little 'fresh air'. He got up slightly to look outside the window. It was facing the school. It was beautiful, its mirror like surface gleamed blue and white in the clear sunshine. Its Halo flashed gold in the morning light.
He looked around the other way and found a young woman sitting by his bead, waiting patiently for his attention. She was maturely beautiful, her thick specs actually enhanced her beauty somewhat, it created strange attractive appeal. She smiled when she noticed she had his full attention and said, "Welcome to Hinata Garden,"
Keitarou blinked.
"Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Minamoto Shizuna, Head of staff here in this school. I'm also a teacher. I believe you're our new caretaker?" There seemed to be a hint of hopefulness in her voice.
"Er…yeah…I guess…I think Grandma Hina kind of, just handed it over to me…"
"Great! I'm sure you can't wait to get started." She seemed to breath out a sigh of relief.
"Er…" Keitarou wasn't stupid, just a little clumsy, and he was smart enough to see that there was more to the story. "…Why the rush?" He asked tactfully.
"Emm…well…"
"Is there something I have to know?" Keitarou was looking at her with an intense stare. It said it all, he wasn't going anywhere without an answer, at least, nowhere beyond the bathroom.
"Ok…" She sighed, "Yes, I'll tell you the truth. Well, the school is almost bankrupt…we have difficulty getting new students, we're having even more difficulty retaining our current students. There are so many better schools out there right now, we're kind of in a decline. Yes, we used to be the best school in Gaia, but…things have kind of dwindled. Now all that are left are the students that can't really afford an education elsewhere, are too academically unsuccessful to be accepted elsewhere, or are just plain patriotic fools. And don't get me started on the crazy and eccentric whackos."
"Ok…and where do I fit in?"
"Well, we thought, maybe a new caretaker could change things, you know, bring in some new blood, bring in some new hope. Please help us, this school has gone through many generations, bringing up many of the best SeeDs and scholars Gaia has ever seen. We can't let it end now, not after all it's been through." She looked at him with hopeful eyes.
"Well…ok, but we've got to make a rule against bashing the caretaker." Keitarou said after a moments silence.
"Consider it done, Proprietor."
"Call me Keitarou, please, and…uh…do you have some aspirin and space for one more student?"
"Well…this is nice…really nice…" Keitarou looked around his new room. He got a whole SeeD suite to himself, which was unusual as he was still a student. He looked at himself in the mirror,
"Urashima…Proprietor Urashima…" he said, puffing up his chest. He admired himself in the mirror for a moment before his heard a faint scuffle behind him. "Er…what?" He looked around.
"So, there's gonna be a training mission tomorrow, right?" Lee asked the people at his table. They were all in the cafeteria, eating lunch.
"Emm…this stuff Yotsuba makes is soooo yummy. Man, Hey! Yotsuba-san! You Rock!" Rayce shouted in the general direction of the kitchens. A chubby jolly face peaked out and smiled, and went back in.
"Yeah, we're going to Midgar. Some organization named Shinra wants us to guard a couple of reactors. Not much of a training mission." A brown haired girls said. The bells in her hair jangled slightly as she shook her head in disgust.
"Well, you gotta understand, the school's in a tight position, we gotta accept any mission available, Asuna." A cute black haired girl said.
"Yeah, I know, Konaka, but c'mon, guard duty? I mean, seriously…" the girl named Asuna said.
"A warrior must complete the task at hand without complaint." A raven haired girl said.
"Motoko, ever heard of what a life is? Maybe it's time for you to get one?" said a girl from behind a large book.
"Yue, speak for yourself, you spend your life buried in books in that library." Said another girl jokingly.
"At least, Incho, I don't forget spell incantations and accidentally fry my friends instead of heal them. There's a big difference between Thundaga and Esuna, y'know" Yue retaliated.
"Yeah…it took Honya-chan a week to get back on her feet…" Another be-spectacled girl sayed, glancing back down memory lane.
"Shut up Haru, You know I was trying to attack that hoodwinker. It's Honya's fault she got charmed and started to follow it around."
"Hehe, Well, it would be different story if Honya-chan was actually standing close to it, she was on the other side of the battle field…and you still got her."
"face it, either you're so blind you can't spot a criminal in a one man ID parade or you're so conceited that your own image takes up your entire brain space." Said another girl who had a basketball in her lap.
Incho was just about to drop the verbal equivalent of an atomic bomb on the basketball player, was interrupted mid-breath as a crash took up everyone's attention.
"COME BACK HERE!" A muffled voice cried out from ceiling (mind you, the ceiling is pretty high, and beyond it there was only the roof). Another crash resounded throughout the cafeteria.
There were a number of muffled giggles from above, followed by "Man, you ARE pathetic. Look at this, a book full of solo photo stickers?" All the students in the cafeteria looked at one another and collectively sweat-dropped.
Another crash, "G…GIVE IT BACK! I MEAN IT!"
The footsteps slowly died away, until it was barely audible…Then there was the smash of shattering glass and Keitarou fell down. The entire cafeteria held a reverential breath until he made contact with a huge trash bin (that said glass waste only), upending it, sending a shower of shattered glass and, strangely, banana peels, all over the immediate vicinity.
Then two small figures landed neatly beside the bin and cordially kicked the bin into a spin. There was a faint gurgling noise from within the bin as it rolled away. Then a giant robot (that looked strangely turtle like) came whirring by, picked up the bin, smushed it with both hands and threw it backwards where it collided with a conveniently placed watermelon stand. A steam roller just happened to come by through the cafeteria, inching along, and it just happened to run over the bin and the watermelon stand, sending a wave of red liquid all over the floor(don't worry, it's only watermelon juice, the author didn't have the special effects budget to prepare a proper blood substitute.)
Everyone returned to their meals, sensing that the show was over. Lee ran over to the flattened bin and picked it up. Keitarou unfolded himself from underneath it and dusted himself. "You ok? I guess the Narutaki twins could be a little rough sometimes…but I assure you, their heart's in the right place." Lee told him.
"Problem is, their brains aren't." added Rayce, strolling over. "The name's Rayce, this here's Lee." Keitarou shook hands with both of them and introduced himself. "We're the only two male students here, so with you, that makes three. We males should stick together, you know. You never know what might happen when we're outnumbered 10 to 1 like this." He whispered conspirationally.
"Hey, Keitarou-sempai, sorry for the rough welcome, we didn't know who you were. Judging by your attire (or rather, lack of) at that time, anyone would've judged you as a pervert. And perverts aren't very well welcomed in female dominated societies such as this…which makes me wonder why Rayce is still alive till this moment…So, let's start over. Come, we should introduce you properly." He gestured to a table that was half full.
"Hey, guys, this is Keitarou Urashima, but, I guess everyone here already knows you. You're pretty famous around here, though you're actually bordering on suicidally infamous. Well, fellas, as you know, this here's our new proprietor and caretaker, as well as fellow student, if I read the bulletin board properly." Lee introduced him to the entire cafeteria.
"Hello, as the class rep of class 3 A, the only class in our school, allow me to warmly welcome you to our school on behalf of the entire school." A tall, beautiful girl came up to shake Keitarou's hand, "And I'm sure everyone here's ready to forgive you, since you did provide us with a bit of entertainment…" Everyone cheered at this statement…well, almost everyone. There were some who were either sharpening their blades or preparing some sort of diabolical plan involving pots of boiling lava and pulleys.
"Hey, I got a real good plan." Rayce lowered his voice conspirationally again, just enough for all the table's occupants to listen, as they took their place at a half full table. They all gathered around him. "Rather than doing guard duty tomorrow, we could do something else. I know of another organization that would pay a lot to get us to help them."
"And what organization is this?" asked the pink haired girl.
"Funny you should ask, Makie…I didn't figure you to be the kind of student who'd skip out on guard duty…" Rayce sniggered.
"Er…eh…I…I think a little extended and varied training…is always…well…full of benefit…" She stammered, trying to explain that whatever it was she was doing, it wasn't for the heck of it.
"Ok, the organization's name is AVALANCHE. They promised to pay us big bucks in return for our services…cool eh?"
"AVALANCHE? Sounds mountainous to me…I don't like climbing…not in this time of the year. Sounds like a real natural hazard too." The girl named Incho said.
"Incho…it's the name of the organization…" The girl with the basketball explained in the tone normally utilized to explain that 1 + 1 2 to a particularly difficult child.
"Let's not take Incho along, I for one prefer coming home as a SeeD trainee rather than a burnt lightning rod….or some other product of spell inaccuracy." Said Asuna, shaking her head and sighing in as exasperated way.
"WHY YOU LITTLE BRAT!" Incho had launched into an attack with both fists raised… a few moments later, Rayce was continuing the explanation of his plan while a furious melee scuffle was taking place in the back ground to the cheers of "Yeah! Go Asuna / Incho!" and " 200 gil on Asuna/ Incho!" and other such lucrative cheers.
"And…what exactly does the job entail?" Motoko suddenly started to pay more attention than she usually does, which is surely a really bad omen. Everyone in the cafeteria was paying attention now…even Asuna and Incho froze to a halt mid-cheek pull. Everyone knew…when the cool headed samurai had taken an interest…the crap was about to hit the fan…
Lee had slipped off to write his will.
Some distance away, in the huge disc-shaped reactor city of Midgar…
"So, who's guarding our generator facilities this week?" A large beefy man who you could sooner jump over than go around asked, as he looked down at the sprawling metropolis below him. The city of Midgar was a city that was ever full of life, though this life is a result of draining the earth of its life force, the so called makko energy, by means of makko reactors.
"Em…along with our guard cadets, we have the Hinata Garden SeeD, sir." A tall man with blazing red hair behind him answered.
"Oh, good. SeeD right? It's always good to have quality…" the man said without turning around.
"Yes, sir, I've always preferred quality over quantity." The red haired man said jovially.
"Oh, why is that, Reno? It isn't like you to suddenly be so…practical." The round man in his red suit suddenly turned around. It seems a sudden increase in his underling's intelligence at turning out such a phrase was worth some appraisal.
"Oh, it's just that, the quantity is zero, sir, though I'm very sure of the quality…"Reno said with a jolly smile.
End of chapter 2. To be continued…
Keitarou: Hey! I haven't had the chance to show off my skills in that chapter!
BTB: Please be patient, I do have other things to concentrate on too, you know. I just don't have the time for long chapters…not right now anyway…
Lee:Then could you explain why it has taken you so long to release this chapter?
BTB: I already said, I was busy. I just don't have the time.
Mireille: And what about Arcanius Negima? You promised me my own series, what happened to that?
BTB:Ah, that, well...let's say chapter one is well on its way to completion…Lee, don't worry, chapter 9 of Arcanius Hina is almost complete, don't worry.
Keitarou: Why didn't you call this section an omake?
BTB:Well, cause it's already a comedy, I guess…
Mitsune: Yeah, very droll and tasteless humour…if you could call it humour…
BTB:Hey, take it easy on me. Time is kinda not on my side, you know…
Rayce: As everything is…
BTB: HEY!
Naru: BTB……again, I must complain…How come I didn't have any screen time in this chapter? You remember what happened during the Arcanius Hina production?
BTB:Hey….hey…seriously, chill…don't worry so much, I promise everyone will get plenty of screen time.
Naru:That's what you promised last time, but….
BTB: Don't worry, ok, now just to give you a taste of what's to come, behold, the preview for chapter 3 of Final Hina Fantasy!
Suu:Oh, great! Where's my banana flavoured pop corn!
BTB:Lower the screen, lights, projector, action!...and someone get those Narutaki twins off the projector…
From the Creator of Arcanius Hina…
A train sped into the huge urban jungle known as Midgar…
This Fall…
The light flashed on a large shiny broad sword…
A Hero…
Keitarou stood amidst clouds of smoke and mist, his huge Zanbattou (Huge broad sword) glinted in the light…
A particularly unfortunate school and dorm manager…
Keitarou raised an eye brow at this remark…
Will get the pounding of his life…
Fast paced action techno plays,
Scene-cut---Keitarou jumps out of an explosion with his sword raised over his head.
Scene-cut---Everyone rushes out of a station, weapons raised in an all out assault…
Scene cut---Keitarou gets kicked in the head by Suu, ---cut---punched by Naru---cut---slashed by Motoko----cut---ran over by a heavy tank----cut---smashed into a watermelon stand----cut---and many other abuses…
But who says he's the only one…
Suu turns around and announces, "ten seconds and counting," with a cheery smile, everyon else turns blue with horror…"RUN!" Everyone ran away, and Lee pauses long enough to pick up Suu and run as well. "SUU! IF WE SURVIVE THIS, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU DON'T!" From a distance, the scene shows one of the huge reactors turning into a huge supernova…
BTB: There, that's what to expect from chp 3, pretty cool, eh?
Keitarou: Looks painful...on my part...
Lee: We have stuntmans for this, right?
BTB: Nope, my production budget is tight, so you'll have to go and do all the stunts.
Everyone: BTB!
BTB: Umm...can we discuss this...ulp...mommy...?
