You didn't know me, but you got cold, too
And your mind was heavy, and you thought you might use it
Well everything fucked up, we both felt before
I'm glad for it all if it got us where we are
With you in the boat there, I almost forgot

How I once said, I was better off just being dead
Better off just being dead, I didn't know you yet
And you might've said, you were better off just being dead
But looking out for you, my friend, look out

-No Below, Speedy Ortiz


When she tells her parents she's headed to Ino's to make up with her after a fight they had and she would like to bring some sweets as a peace offering, they waste no time in taking her to buy dango once she tells them it's Ino's favorite food. They may think that they're buying too much dango, but they don't know how much of it Ino can go through in one sitting.

And is she really so socially pathetic that they take her making up with her friend this seriously? She can have more friends if she wants. The issue is that none of them can understand her like Ino does. Really. It's impossible.

Then, like they suspect she's somehow offended Ino's parents during the argument that she hasn't fully explained to them, her parents send along a nice bottle of sake from their liquor store stock with her to give to Ino's parents.

Sakura thinks that she should feel insulted about that one. No, she is insulted. She isn't that socially inept. Having one friend doesn't mean anything, and it's not cheating that her singular friend was also her cousin in their past lives. She can have as many friends as she wants, she simply chooses to focus on her training and disrupting future tragedies instead.

Not that she says anything about it to her parents before they send her off to the Yamanaka Compound with smiles on their faces. She's upset her parents more than enough in the last few days, she thinks as she looks at the cast weighing down her right arm. She'll just go along with their wishes without complaint to make up for it tonight.

She's eight-years-old and walking through the village as the sun sets, the cool breeze of fall having forced her to wear an extra layer of clothing. With a pack slung over her shoulder to allow her to carry the sake and dango without both hands being free (courtesy of her thoughtful parents), she isn't afraid of the encroaching darkness like some children her age might be. She is a shinobi.

At heart, she is a Jounin. She's known for her Body Flicker Technique, and she's listed as 'Flee on Sight' in the Bingo Books.

And if all that is true, why does she feel like she's walking into a mess that she isn't able to handle? They're in peacetime now, and Ino is about to tell her how they end up in the Fourth Shinobi War. It makes every moment of her time as Shisui seem so utterly...

Meaningless.

He steps back one foot at a time until one step is solid ground and the next is air.

She takes deep, measured breaths as she closes in on Ino's home. The choices that she made in her last life are not options in this one. She can't run away and leave this all for Ino to bear alone.

Do not be a coward, she tells herself. You are stronger now. You have support now, and you have time. Nobody is after your eyes.

She brings up her fingertips that poke out on her right hand and brushes them over the red surface of her goggles.

Nobody is after your eyes.


Ino waits for her, as is usual, by leaning against the wall outside her house and beside the front door, eyes closed and stance casual. She knows when Sakura has arrived without opening her eyes, and Sakura makes no efforts to hide her presence or her chakra.

"I brought dango," Sakura says, uncertain of how to go about this meeting that neither of them looks forward to. Who wants to talk about the next war and the circumstances which lead up to it? "And my parents sent along some sake for your parents."

"Thank you. I'm certain my parents will appreciate that," Ino says. She pushes off the wall and opens the door. "Come in, Sakura."

Sakura follows her through the door and removes her sandals before stepping into the home proper. Ino closes the door behind her, then she takes the sake from Sakura and leaves it in the kitchen with the note from Sakura's parents.

Soon enough, she finds herself back in Ino's bedroom, privacy seals activated and a life-changing conversation about to occur. They need to stop ending up in these situations, really. She sits across from Ino on the floor, a tray with a teapot and two cups between them.

Sakura adds the dango to the tray as Ino pours the tea.

"I don't blame you," Sakura says.

Ino glances up at her, but her expression gives nothing away.

"I mean it," Sakura says. "You might not be my cousin in this life, but in all ways that matter, you're still my brother. Or sister, I guess."

Ino doesn't speak for several long moments, and Sakura sips her tea while she waits. What she just said is the most important thing to know. Fuck the war and all that leads to it. They'll stand together.

"Why not?" Ino asks. Her voice is quiet and desperate, like she's speaking in the middle of her throat trying to close up on her.

Sakura shakes her head. "We were kids. You can't put the world on the shoulders of two kids and expect it to end well. Besides, if anything, you should hate and blame me for leaving those burdens for you to bear alone."

"Never." Ino responds without hesitation.

Sakura smiles. She appreciates the sentiment, but it doesn't absolve her of her past mistakes. It doesn't wash away the guilt and the what ifs.

"But I-" Ino starts again.

"None of that," Sakura says, cutting her off. "Everything was set in motion long before we had the ability to divert the course. We tried, but we were far too late to make a difference. We were fools to think otherwise. Hopeful fools."

Ino looks to the side, and Sakura knows that she doesn't fully agree. That's okay. She expects it. It's not like she agrees with what Ino said either.

They're a pretty hopeless duo, Sakura decides.

Sakura takes a long drink from her tea before letting out a world-weary sigh. "Now that we've patched up our own issues, and have decided to let our past mistakes continue to weigh us down, we should get into that Fourth Shinobi War you mentioned the other night."

Ino nods, and her usually stoic expression droops into one mixed with pain and sadness. "Like the Massacre, the war is brought on by a series of events set into motion long before the declaration of war is made."

Sakura braces herself for a long night and a draining tale.


"Finally, after we recruited the number of members that Pein felt was satisfactory, he filled us in on his goals," Ino says. "I couldn't tell you how much of his goal stemmed from his own desires and how much came from Madara's influence. I also wouldn't put it past Madara to use his Sharingan to control Pein."

"He sounds pleasant," Sakura says, her tone dry. She shouldn't be surprised that the legendary leader of the Uchiha clan turned out to be a giant asshole. They were, after all, paragons of kindness and equality and acceptance.

Sakura hides a snort of a laugh behind her tea cup, refilled for the second time with tea that's rapidly becoming lukewarm.

And the dango is gone. She should've brought more.

The quality sake sitting in Ino's kitchen is tempting, but they're still only eight and a craving for sake would bring up a whole lot of questions she doesn't want to deal with on top of learning about a war that has yet to occur.

"You should meet the persona he adapts to avoid suspicion. Tobi. But moving on, the end goal is peace."

"Peace?"

Ino nods.

"Well, starting a war is a pretty terrible way to go about bringing peace."

"Keep in mind that the timing of my death and the use of the Impure World Technique leave me with large gaps of information regarding the actual start of the war. Then, there's also the fact that I was rather preoccupied with making sure Sasuke killed me," Ino says.

Sakura dismisses her words with a wave of her hand. "Naturally, we're working at a disadvantage here with severely limited resources and information. The world has never tried to make things easy for us."

The corner of Ino's mouth pulls up into a slight smile. "No, I suppose it hasn't."


"So, Madara-known as Tobi by the Akatsuki-and your massacre accomplice (who should be long dead) is the biggest threat we're looking at, but we can't do much about him for a while yet. What's our most pressing threat, then?" Sakura asks.

Sakura stares at the ceiling of Ino's room as she stretches out on the bed, her feet up near the head of the bed with the pillows (of which there are too many in her opinion). Ino is stretched out beside her, head on her pillows and feet near Sakura's head. The tea tray is long forgotten, the teapot empty as well as the plate that held dango.

"I would love to say Danzo, but killing a council member would have ramifications on a level that would only hinder us for the time being."

Sakura hums in agreement. Ino has more reason than anybody to want Danzo dead, but she also follows her head before her heart.

"Orochimaru? I've always hated that slimy bastard."

"Tracking him with our limited resources as academy students would prove difficult," Ino says. "We can try, though. Right now, he's still with the Akatsuki. I only have sporadic information about his activities and whereabouts."

Sakura groans. "It seems like the most we can do for the time being is what we've already been doing. Make sure we're in top condition for when we graduate and have the resources and supplies to pursue the Akatsuki members."

"That is exactly what I propose we do," Ino says. "There's no chance of me being accelerated through the academy in this life, the Bond of the Three Families and all. You, on the other hand, should keep up your act as an average student. If my memory serves, you'll be placed on Sasuke's team."

"Why do I feel like you have an ulterior motive here?" Sakura asks, tilting her head so that Ino can see her smirk. Of course, she's going to figure out an arrangement to make sure Sasuke is safe.

"There are advantages to it for you as well."

"Other than frustrating him when we inevitably spar?"

"Orochimaru targets him and places a curse mark. But you'll be able to prevent that this time."

"And it's easier for him to come to us than for us to track him."

"Exactly."


Sakura isn't sure at which point she fell asleep, but she hears Ino's soft breathing and figures trying to solve the future tired out both of them. It's dark in the room now. One of Ino's parents must have come in to check on them and turned off the lamp.

Her goggles dig into her skin where she was lying on them, and she slips them off her head. As she holds them up, the red visor stares back at her in the moonlight that slips in through Ino's window. Leave them on, or take them off?

Safety and protection, or nightmares and terror?

Am I supposed to be here?

Here. This time. Things are the same and different. She navigates them well, sure, but the shadows of Shisui's life encroach on this life. She is and always will be Shisui, but is that a good thing?

She isn't the best choice for preventing a fourth war. All she does is make mistakes.

Her grip on her goggles tightens and she holds them close to her chest.


Her ninth birthday comes and goes with a quiet celebration. When her parents ask her what she wants, her request for a katana is denied. She makes a lengthy and technical explanation as to why a katana would be beneficial to her for her future, and how the extra reach will serve her better than a tanto.

They give her a folded fan with an intricate floral design painting on its delicate surface.

It'll look great with her kimono for upcoming festivals, they tell her.

They do, however, allow her to begin working at the store with them. They don't pay her too much (she is only nine, after all), but what she earns she can spend however she wishes. While it'll take time for her to save enough for a katana, it's a start.

She has the time to prepare, and she'll be able to save up for other tools and weapons as well. It isn't her first option for a solution, but it's a solution nonetheless.

Her parents stress that if she likes working at the shop, she may work more hours and take up more responsibilities. It's their thinly veiled way of saying that they hope she takes a liking to the family business and forgoes her shinobi journey.

She can't explain to them why that isn't an option, especially not with the knowledge that Ino has given her.

She smiles and nods anyway.


The academy year ends with her maintaining her very average standing, and with congratulations about sticking with the practical lessons through her injury instead of giving up. Which is strange praise to her because she's fought through worse, like being poisoned while one particular son of a bitch tries to claw her eyes out of their sockets.

A broken arm is nothing, but she's glad to have the cast off and the muscle rebuilt.

Sasuke is, unsurprisingly, top of the class again, and Ino's eyes glow with pride. Sakura sees the sadness she tries to hide, too. Her pride and approval mean nothing to Sasuke when she's Ino and not Itachi.

Maybe it's better that Sakura doesn't have any family from her past life left aside from Sasuke and Itachi. Her relationship with Ino isn't all that different.

Sasuke, well, she wonders if he'll remember Shisui in a few years. He might become another faceless name lost amongst the ghosts of a clan.

According to Ino, she'll be able to watch over Sasuke after graduation. Help him grow into a better shinobi. A strong member of the Leaf. And she'll try to curb the disloyalty to the village and the hatred of it that he falls into after receiving the curse mark from Orochimaru followed by learning the truth about Itachi. What a mess Sasuke manages to get himself into.

If she can help it, he won't receive that mark. After all, she was listed as Flee on Sight in the Bingo Book. She should be able to hold off a Sannin long enough for Sasuke to vacate the area.

She spends the summer with her time split between training and working at her parents' liquor shop. Her savings grow, but she knows that the ryo will run out quickly once she starts shopping for the supplies she'll need as a shinobi.

It isn't a bad life.


Her parents glance at her like the gate to the village will make her nervous or afraid, but she keeps pace with them, unbothered by the weight of the pack on her back. Sakura's never left the village before.

Shisui left the village countless times.

She looks forward to the openness of the forests and tasting its freedom once more. The weight of the kunai pouch, freshly stocked, wrapped around her thigh is comforting. It's been too long.

"Now that you're helping out with the business, I think it's important for you to experience a trip to negotiate with one of our suppliers near the border," her dad says.

"That makes sense," Sakura says. She isn't interested in the business dealings, but she'll go along with it since it's getting her out of the village.

"And the team will make sure we're safe, so you don't have to worry," her mom adds.

Sakura pauses in her steps for a moment. "The what?"

"The shinobi team we hired as an escort," her mom says. "We always pay for a C Rank mission. Usually nothing happens, but we are transporting and handling ryo and products. There's always a risk of bandits attacking."

"A genin team…"

"And their sensei."

Sakura bites her lip to keep from saying that it's not needed, but at the same time she knows that there'll be no convincing her parents to go without the escort. It's logical, and they don't know that their daughter is far above the average level of skill she displays.

She'll have to suck it up and shove down her feelings about being seen as weak.

She has never been weak when it comes to fighting. (The weakness is all in her head.)

With a nod, she continues with her parents to the gates, and she sees the team of three kids with their sensei.

One of them looks smug, but the other two seem decently professional. For genin. (And yes, she does get to judge them. Mentally, at least. Silently.) Their demeanors don't matter much, though, since the trip should be peaceful and they have an experienced sensei (whom she doesn't recognize) with them.

"Are you ready to head out?" The sensei asks.

"Sure are," Kizashi says. He sets his hand atop Sakura's head (which she finds very comforting since she never got this love from Shisui's father, not that she'll say it out loud). "This is our daughter, Sakura. She didn't come with us to meet with the Hokage since she was at the academy."

"Oh, a future shinobi? This should be a great learning experience for you as well as my students," he says.

He introduces himself as Akira-sensei, insisting that she may also refer to him as a teacher. Then, he introduces his genin. Kohaku. Hanako. Saburo.

Sakura gives them each a polite enough greeting, and she forces herself to call the teacher Akira-sensei. He isn't her teacher, and she doesn't even need a teacher. Her heart and mind cry out that she's a jounin (and Iruka is her teacher right now, thank you), but she shoves those feelings deep down and keeps a cheerful grin on her face.

Akira signs out his team at the gate, and they all head off together.

Once she steps into the forest, her instincts kick in and she observes the world around her, ready to face any threat.

For the first time in years, she is in her element.