The Secret
Chapter 6 : We Might As Well Be Strangers
I don't know your face, no more
Or feel the touch, that I adore
I don't know your face, no more
It's just a place, I'm looking for
I looked into the mirror, taking a good look at myself. If I kept this baby, I wouldn't keep my figure. I would be constantly busy, and say good-bye to my party life.
But if I had an abortion, I would have to live with the everlasting guilt of killing the life of an innocent child.
Adoption was clearly out of the question. I would get fat anyway, and have to live with guilt of giving away a child that would grow to hate me and go all psycho and stuff.
In the end, I knew what the solution was. I'd have to keep this baby, that's just how it was.
Don't have sex if you aren't ready to face the consequences, kids.
A knock at the door tore me out of daze. I pulled a sweatshirt on over myself, seeing as how my cuts were now extremely visible.
I opened the door to see Peyton. Instead of ripping her head off, I stood there, a questioning look on my face.
"Can I come in?" She asks me hopefully.
I shrug, opening the door a little wider.
"Brooke, I know you don't want to be my friend anymore, but I thought I would let you know that I'm not going to bother you anymore."
"You're not?" I say something for the first time since she's knocked on the door, and it's lame.
"No. If you hate me, there's nothing I can do about it. I just want you to know that if you need anything, I'll be waiting for you, because even if I don't have your friendship, you'll always have mine."
I can't help myself. It must be the pregnancy. I throw my arms around her, letting tears poor out of my eyes. "You have my friendship." I mumble into her shirt.
"I do?"
"Peyton, you hurt me really badly. And, we may never be the same, but I'm going through something tough right now, and I really need someone to help me through it." So I was kind of being friends with her for selfish reasons, but she didn't seem to mind.
"What's wrong?"
"Everything." I tell her, sinking into my bed.
We might as well be strangers, in another town
We might as well be living, in a different world
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well
"You're pregnant?" She looks seriously shocked.
"With Lucas's baby."
"Wow."
"Trust me, I know."
"What are you going to do?"
"What is there to do? I'm going to keep it."
"You're going to be a mom at seventeen. That's so crazy."
"Tell me about it."
She hugs me. "I'm sorry for what I did." She's kind of crying.
"It wouldn't have lasted anyway." I shrug.
"Yeah, it would have. If it weren't for me, you and Lucas would be together, and you would be happy, and going through this together."
I'm kind of crying now too.
"You are going through this together, right?"
"I'm not quite sure about that yet."
"What? Brooke, he may be an ass, but he has a right to know."
"I know. I'll talk to him later."
I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in, an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier, to be apart
But as he's saying all these wonderful things to me, about how we'll get through it together, and how he'll be a great dad. I just can't.
Tears are running down my face, as I realize what I have to do. What I'm doing to save him from his own mistake.
"I lied." I whisper.
And that's when I saw the anger.
When he looked for reasons to prove me wrong, but couldn't find any.
When he leaves, I find myself crying and sobbing. What am I going to do? I'm alone.
I brought this upon myself. I can handle it.
But I know I can't.
At least he can be happy.
We might as well be strangers, in another town
We might as well be living, in another time
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well, be strangers now - be strangers now
The next day, while sitting in my bedroom, watching Gilmore Girls and thinking of baby names, the door opens and then slams in seconds. I sit up, and see a very pissed off looking Tutor Girl.
"Hi Haley." I lean back against the bed.
"I can't believe you, Brooke!"
"What'd I do?"
"Pretend you were pregnant to Lucas!"
"Haley, I lied."
"Yeah, I realized that Brooke."
"No, I lied when I told him I lied."
"Why?" She's frustrated.
"Because he deserves a life. I did it for him."
And all her rage is gone. "Oh."
She sits down, and interlaces her arms with mine.
"You're really something, Brooke, ya know that?"
"Yeah."
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know
"Have you decided what you're doing?" I'm at the doctor's with Haley. At least I'm not completely alone.
"I'm keeping the baby."
"And the father?"
"Out of the picture." I look down at my hands, then back to Haley, who smiles sadly. She thinks what I'm doing is wrong, but she won't change my mind.
He sees me at school, and he ignores me, because he is really truly angry at me for lying.
If only he knew. We barely know each other anymore. It's like, we might as well be strangers.
