Kinomoto Taya usually loved mornings.
She loved waking to the city, seeing the bright smiles of school children, and having a good cup of fragrant coffee.
This particular morning could go to hell for all she cared.
It started with the radio, broadcasting a small report on the new urban legend. Not like the legend that Ranma and his 'friends' had created around their activities, but one that REALLY troubled her. She really couldn't see the point of having a person dressed like that becoming a hero.
What was worse was the amateur video that had popped up and was being broadcast on several channels. The stations just had to show the girls panties as their first shot, the fluttering skirt, and then catching the girl in a pose that, to her mind, screamed sex. If, like the usual Class Three incidents, this got well known, they would have to start production on films to cover everything up. Already, people in the department were starting to spin the incident off as an aberration, while others were starting to gather data to make a fictitious film company that was backdated at least a year.
As she was the officer on scene, even off duty, she was expecting the worst duty to fall to her.
It was a duty that she DIDN'T want as she had heard some horror stories from the two people in her station that already had the responsibility of the Class Two incidents. She had also met others in the 'police conventions' that also had that duty thanks to those two. All of them were two fisted drinkers whenever they got the chance.
Looking at her coffee, she made a decision. It would be a first, but she needed it, and she could always have a case delivered this morning. She picked up the phone and called a discrete distributor while thinking, 'Thank god that it wasn't classified as a type Four or Five. Covering up a giant robot or something like that would be hell. We don't have enough construction teams to deal with that in this area.'
Colonge almost spit out her tea at what she was seeing. Mr. Part Time, as crazy as it sounded, was correct. Ranma had become a magical girl.
She smirked as she had the thought, 'Just like my games. I can have some fun with this if I can remember where I put those old toys from when I was a child.'
Shampoo was staring at the television screen.
What she was seeing defied imagination, was impossible, and, not surprisingly, completely within character for the area she lived in.
On the screen was Ranma, dressed in a very provocative fighting suit. She was blasting the bad guys with her Ki and sending them napping. It seemed unreal, like all television battles of this nature, what with the extreme use of Ki shots and the fact that it didn't seem she was hitting them with enough force to send them flying like that. Of course, this was the first time that she had seem a battle where the opponent was so outclassed by the fighter, and the fighter being careful not to kill the idiot in front of her.
Then she saw something which broke her heart.
The villain had shot something from the sleeve of his coat at Ranma, and she was suddenly choking without an obvious reason. Whatever it was, this blackguard was powerful in his own right. Thats when a man with a cloak, a mask, and an unusual hat came down, tossed something at the bad guy, and picked up Ranma and made off with her. The villains disappeared in a cloud of smoke soon after that.
Ranma was one of the mystical warriors of Japan.
"So what do you think of what you just saw Great-Granddaughter?"
"Aya! She strong! She must be descendent of Xena! Would be good to help if knew who was!"
Cologne grimaced. Her great granddaughter was an idiot if she didn't know who that was. Of course, given how she acted these past few weeks, it was more likely she was concerned with what was happening with Ranma's 'becoming a girl in order to escape reality'. It was tempting, oh so tempting to hit her upside the head with her staff, but that wouldn't be any fun. As it was, she was glad that Shampoo had failed in her...
Sexual Endeavours
Part Seven:
A loaf of bread,
A wheel of cheese,
A bottle of wine
And...
A fan fiction based on Takahashi Rumiko's Manga series, Ranma 1/2
Saotome Ranma, Saotome Genma, Saotome Nodoka, Tendo Akane, Tendo Soun, Tendo Kasumi, Tendo Nabiki, Kuonji Ukyou, Hibiki Ryouga, P-chan, Shampoo, Shan Pu, Mousse, Mu Tsu, Cologne, Ku Lon, Kuno Tatewaki, Kuno Kodachi, Tofu-Sensei, and Hinako Sensei are copyright 1987, 2002 by Takahashi Rumiko.
Edited by Digital Civilization Multimedia Productions Group Inc.
Publishing rights:Japan byShogakukan Inc. Tokyo
Hong Kong by Jademan (Holdings) Ltd.
North America by Viz Inc.
Written by Ichinohei Hitomi
With help from Robert Haynie and the people on #Akane
Sakura was smirking to herself as she prepared to go to school. From all that she had learned yesterday, and from the copy of the story that she had, Ranma was making the script come to life. How he got the idiots of the area to have an adversary, and get the others to start creating a 'magical girl' team was beyond her, but she and the others could have a lot of fun with this.
"Ranma," she muttered to herself, "You've got the craziest ways of testing out programs and stories, then again, you can get away with it if that skinny character is what you have to deal with daily."
Of course, everyone at the Juku knew the type of life Ranma led, so explaining this away was simply stating that something magical happened, and that the entire district was affected. The people who would 'get involved' to turn things back to normal would, of course, be his close friends in the Juku. That would not raise any eyebrows, and everyone would accept the status quo without letting any hints go about what speculations were.
The others were willing to go along and create a long term role-playing game in which they took the parts of a magical girls support team. Mix it up a bit and you had something like a science-police team, and that would be fun. They would know what was happening, and it was less dangerous than actually being involved in the action.
Hikaru stated that he had the perfect place to set up a 'secret base' for their operations, which they would check over tonight.
Now, to think of what to tell Misa so that the gossip queen wouldn't spoil anything.
Nabiki was being cautious.
A lot of things were going wrong in the area, leaving most people in a slight state of shock. The exception to this was the class Ranma and Akane were in as people were accepting it as normal. Then again, of all the people in the school, they had the most experience with strange things happening.
However, this was not the only thing that was wrong, especially since factors outside of the school were also contributing to the strange mess that was Nerima. If it had only affected the members of the so-called 'Nerima Wrecking Crew', that would be one thing. After all, given the chaos that had happened in past, with the various chases, kidnappings, trips, and magical elements, then she would put it down as something all of the people who were affected had been involved in.
When combined with other things, the people in Nerima were nervous, itchy, and waiting for the big one.
Examples of the changes were numerous:
1. No attack helicopters chasing schoolgirl waitresses
2. No reports of Ataru Moroboshi doing something perverted
3. The four dorks, as they were known, not causing appreciable damage in trying to get Lum to notice them.
4. Tatewaki Kuno was actually acting like a person instead of someone out of Samurai literature
5. Principal Kuno was acting as a real school administrator instead of a demented version of a Hawaiian tourist.
6. No unusual people entering the district and making a nuisance of themselves.
7. There hadn't been a decent amount of destruction in almost three weeks.
Entire industries depended on the destruction and violence that occured in the district, and various contractors were getting worried. They had come to her to ask when things would get back to normal as they would have to close down otherwise. The insurance people were just the opposite. They had asked if she could do something to make sure that things were going to stay as it was.
Too many things depended on her finding out what was happening.
Unfortunately, the targets of her investigations were now intelligent enough so that they would not just blurt out the first thing that was said, and Kodachi had been sent on a scholastic trip by her family about a month and a half before and was not expected back for at least another three months, so that was out. Her last chance to find out anything from these people was to go to the estate and find that servant of theirs, Sasuke.
If this didn't work, she was unsure what, or who to try next.
"Kinomoto, a moment of your time please." Captain Isahikawa stated as he finished the morning meeting.
Taya groaned silently to herself. Here it was, the expected trouble, and her new assignment. By the various Gods, she was happy to have placed the order earlier this morning as she was going to need the stimulus soon. "Yes Captain."
The captain led her from the staff room to another part of the building, "I know this may be sudden, but it has been decided that you will be promoted to another department in the building."
"Promoted?"
"Yes. You were the officer on scene at yesterday's Class Three incident, and you know quite a bit of the Class Two's that are in the area, so you will be joining an elite unit. Ota will report his findings to you concerning the Class Three matter," The captain stated calmly. "You will not be demoted after this is over, by the way. The Central Department has decided to create a command centre here that you will run after the Class Three has run it's initial course."
"Wait a minute!" Taya exclaimed. "What the fuck do you mean by the 'initial course'?"
"Kinomoto, please watch your language. I may permit it, but as a person being placed second in command of a unit, and to be transferred to command within the year, you will have to watch your language more."
Taya blushed, "Sorry. I have always been outspoken."
The captain nodded. "Understandable. However, your new unit is, in part, political. You would do well to think before you speak. As to the 'initial course', command has experience in this, and have told me that these incidents tend to occur in cycles. Each cycle ranging from between 6 months to 2 years, and being followed by several more cycles. Also, the Class Three's may be the first of the incidents, as it may escalate to a Class Four, or even Five. Your unit will be in charge of investigation, and to some extent, cover up. Much as we do now with the Class Two's."
"Captain, we do not cover up the Class Two incidents. All we do is follow what is happening and file a report."
"True. However, Class Two's can be explained away to most people, and hidden from International view easily. Class Three's are a bit...Sticky. I happen to know since I was on a Class Three team in the Juban district until 6 months ago. You will have your work cut out for you, and you will need to make...friends...with any Class Threes."
Kinomoto blinked, and then stared at the captain beside her. "What do you mean Sir?"
"In Juban, the leader of the task force made contact, and and became friends, with the adventurer known as 'Sailor V'. This was before the appearance of the numerous 'Senshi'. We were assigned clean up and reporting duty, as well as investigating anything that was needed by that team. The things they fight are not within our abilities to handle at the present time, although research is being conducted into making the police able to combat these threats. Anyone, at the level of Captain and above, has been on one of these teams."
"What!" Taya hissed to Isahikawa. "You mean every one at Captain or above has this sort of experience?"
"Yes. We also keep an eye on possible replacements. You happen to be one. Also, you would do well to learn the politics. We cannot have what happens here in Japan make the major news, one of the reasons that the Sailor Senshi Manga was created. If it can be written off as fiction, then others will not pay attention to it, at least on the international scene. You would also do well to promote a 'reputation'. Officially become a drinker, or develop a side 'hobby' such as an anime obsession. It helps in your cover, and makes it look as though you are not really doing anything important. The force will pick up all the tabs for these 'obsessions'. You will keep all of these materials, and your pay grade will be increased 150 to make it seem like you have the money to spend on these hobbies. What you actually do with your pay increase is up to you.
"I would suggest moving into a new home for one. The apartment that you keep is fine, but too small for some of the things that you will need. You will also keep your real duties a secret, making it look like we transferred you because you were complaining, and we are trying to save face. I know you have some knowledge of the duties involved, but this is a detective's duty, not a public officer as we make it seem."
"I...understand...I guess." Taya replied, surprised at the real duties of the two she knew.
"You will come to understand in time. Remember that you need to have public face, and a face for the higher ups. If everything goes well, you will achieve the rank of Captain in another district as soon as your duties here are complete. That is, unless you want to stay. Surprisingly, a lot of the people in charge of a unit do not want to leave until they are sure that everything is relatively normal again. I chose to leave because I was becoming too well known as showing up at several of the incidents in the Juban district."
A lot had changed around Furinken, some of it for the better, some for the worse. The normal venues of entertainment had all but dried up. However, one of the more interesting ones was still in existence, although with a weird, but strangely normal paradigm shift. In this case, lunch had changed from observing the Akane Vs. Ranma while he tries to hide from the fiancees battle to Ranma gets wooed by girls acting like boys. Same people, for the most part, but with a new dynamic. Given what had happened in past, it was a new, bizarre, and utterly entertaining soap opera. The only differences were that Ryouga was the only male of this group contending for Ranma, and Ranma tended to keep her attention on him, and Shampoo had become the 'best girlfriend' instead of a contender.
This time, however, one of the usual players was missing, not that anyone who was looking really noticed.
If one looked, however, they would have seen Shampoo off to herself in a little used are of the school yard. If they came close enough, they would have noticed the stream of tears that was making it's way down her face. They might not have known what was bothering her, but some of the girls would have tried to comfort her. Mousse definitely would have if he wasn't so concerned with keeping an eye on his 'little sister'.
As for Shampoo, she wept. All her suffering... all her trials... for nothing. Ranma wasn't even really a boy. Ranma wasn't her airen. Ranma was...a warrior from legend. As in the animated entertainment that was so popular here.
A small digression here to explain something. It is to be understood that the Amazon Nation, with very few exceptions, did not understand the concept of Fiction. They studied their history's, and their laws, as well as martial arts. In fact, it had been so long since anyone had seen any fiction, that youngsters took anything said as the unedited truth.
There were a few exceptions to this rule, and they were mostly among the ruling counsel. For instance, one of the people who understood fiction was Cologne. Then again, she had been imaginative as a child and had traveled a lot when she was younger.
In direct contrast, Shampoo did not understand. She enjoyed all of the stories on television, what little she saw of it thanks to the immense amount of studying she had to do on old potions, history's and various bits of sociology that her great grandmother forced her to look at, so she took what television she had seen as gospel. Not exactly the best thing to do, but she REALLY didn't know any better.
Thus, she believed that Sailor Moon-- which she had seen an entire three episodes of-- was historically correct.
Then it hit her.
'I can turn into a cat.'
'But not a talking cat.'
'But isn't there a potion that can let cats...'
There was. True, in the history of the Amazon Alchemical Arts this was widely regardes as the single most pointless potion of all. You give a cat a dose of the Talking Cat Potion and what you recieved was a long babble consisting of a desire for fish, mice, sleep, and a nice sunny spot.
But Shampoo... when a cat... was not your normal cat.
And in some fashion...she could be with Ranma.
Oddly enough, this was the ONLY Amazon potion that actually WORKED.
Now, Shampoo forgot one thing in her amazing ability to recall this potion. Ranma was scared of cats. This would cause a problem.
In addition, her subconscious, which had provided her with this amazing revelation had also made another conclusion, one which would cause even more trouble. If Ranma was a Mystical Warrior, then she needed a proper adviser, and no proper mystical warrior would be afraid of their adviser. And the only one who could be a proper adviser to a warrior woman was one from a village of warrior women.
She now knew her destiny.
She knew why she had come to this country.
She knew the reason behind the curse of Jusenkyo.
She knew her duty, and her charge.
She could take comfort in making sure that her charge was taken care of, and that she would find a proper mate.
If her charge wouldn't look for a proper mate, or was too ditsy to find one, then Shampoo would find one. And Ryouga, the lost boy, would definitely not be on the list. Perhaps Spatu...Ukyou if she could find any Nanniichuan. Surely that barrel could not be the last, at least if she was going to fulfill her destiny.
Now, she only had to get the right ingredients, and her great grandmother did have most of them available...
An after-school shopping trip seemed advisable for the remaining ingredients.
Ota grimaced as he got out of the forensics department.
Nothing was making any sense.
The robbery from the night before had taken a ruby.
Not a large one either.
The ruby was only two carats, worth a little less than 300,000 yen as it was flawed. Why they would attack and take a flawed gem was something that didn't add up. The previous incident had the crooks, or beings, escape with more than 300,000,000 yen.
Then there were the telltales.
Although the area had been cleared, there was no sign of whatever it was that had caused that girl to choke like that. Some of the people in the labs had speculated that it was a gas attack, while others stated that it could have been some kind of micro garrote. The film that they had copies of was not clear enough to determine what it was given that it was taken with one of those new digital cameras.
What was even stranger was the chemical residue.
The previous residue turned out to be old newspapers. Well burned, but still old newspapers. The chemicals on the plastic, which were thought to be explosives, were confirmed as newspaper as well. Unless somehow the newspaper WAS the explosive.
This residue was simply mineral oil. A lot of mineral oil.
How such a thin layer of mineral oil could coat the street and the walls of the area was still a puzzle.
There was the evidenced of energy blasts, but that was considered normal.
Unless the plastic and newspapers made up the body of the previous monster.
And the...beings...that looked like people in silly costumes were really made out of mineral oil.
That would fit.
Especially with how they were thrown around like in a bad sentai show.
But where did the money and the flawed ruby come in?
And how the hell did paper parasols with fishing weights come into this?
"It's the first time I've seen you face to face in over two years."
"True, but I wanted to apologize in person. I didn't believe you when you told me that a magical girl had interfered in the first acquisition."
"I wouldn't have believed it myself, if I hadn't experienced it."
"What do we know so far?"
"She has far above normal strength. Although she didn't look as though she was hitting hard, several of our people have large bruises, two have cracked ribs. The special effects seem to be effective with her, however. The gas module was a good idea, although I didn't think we would be using it this soon.
"Her bones have to be reinforced somehow, given the height she is able to drop from. The people in the area didn't run, and seemed to be used to someone jumping from rooftops. This means that she's been seen before, and probably will again. The public looked on and just made comments on the fight, not even taking the time to phone the police.
"She's also fast. Gem was able to run through our people, hardly giving them time to react. It also shows that she could have come from anywhere in the district given the time constraints."
"What do you mean by that?"
"The first time, she showed up at fifteen minutes, 22 seconds. This means that she wasn't really looking for us, and probably heard about the explosion over a radio or something. The second time, she showed up at three minutes, 12 seconds, which means she is looking for incidents."
"That may just be an aberration."
"Perhaps, but it is more likely she is some sort of special officer. It would make sense with the local 'legends' of people with extreme abilities. Perhaps the costume she is wearing is some kind of special body suit, designed to duplicate, or enhance, special abilities."
"Possible. A government project?"
"That's what I'm thinking. Her weaknesses seem to run in the unexpected. The first time was the nitrous oxide/paper mache rocket. This time it was the gas ball. If we are to continue here, we'll need more surprises to counter her."
"What about her companion?"
"He seems to be a backup of some type. Perhaps someone to get her out of trouble. From what little I've seen it appears that she has amazing flexibility and gymnastics training. Given the usual training routines, I doubt he has the same."
"Suggestions?"
"If I'm to face her again, I would recommend at least two crimes occurring in different areas at the same time. I will need some help from our special effects department, and some portable equipment. The police came as the secondary team was leaving the area with the smoke generators. Also, we will need more people to pull those injured away. Good padding under the clothes will help as well, but it can't be bulky."
"I'll see to it, and have the planners come up with something. We'll be keeping in close contact from now on."
"I'll see you later then."
The day had been somewhat long, at least as far as Ryouga was concerned.
He was still embarrassed about the previous night, and what he had to do to save Ranma's life.
He nearly didn't show up in time, and having to give Ranma mouth to mouth resuscitation was too close to kissing. It had to be done, however, since she had been choking on something and semi-conscious at the time. She also hadn't woken up for almost an hour afterwards, leaving him to watch over her for quite a while.
He sighed. This Ranma was just too cute for her own good. When she was sleeping she seemed relaxed, unlike the Ranma he knew who was always waiting for an attack. He had left just as she was waking up, giving a lame line about fighting the good fight.
He had dropped down next to the building and removed the tuxedo and suit. He'd have to thank Mousse for teaching him enough of his techniques latter, although he was unsure of WHY Mousse wanted to train with him. Of course, Yuka and Sayuri finding them afterwards didn't help much. They just went on about how He and Ranma were the perfect lovebirds.
Either he found a way home, went crazy, or started to accept that this was his life now. All of those options had checks in the plus and minus columns. And the more he stayed, the more he was starting to accept this, which wasn't good for his constitution.
He also didn't like how this 'butch' Akane was eying him like a piece of meat that she would love to beat on.
Then again, Ranma's mother was a contradiction in herself.
What was that line again? Oh yes. 'May you live in interesting times.' He was definitely cursed with seeing hell. And he couldn't even blame Ranma for this!
Ranma rotated her shoulders a bit. It had been a relaxing day, thus far, and that was good. The fight hadn't done much for her confidence as she had choked on nothing that could be seen or smelled. She would need to find the item or items that would help her as she obviously didn't have enough power to take care of this on her own.
Ah well, she could worry about that latter.
Tonight, it was sitting in front of the television and watching her research materials.
The Wedding Peach series.
To Be Continued...
