Peh. I apologize for not knowing Angelo was a girl. I always named him "rinoa's sextoy" so it really didn't occur to me. 'Sides, Squall called it "boy" or something at some part of the game. I was always pissed the stupid dog didn't go into outer space, 'cause then at least Rinoa would have had a real limit break, as oppose to the wings coming out of the back and the stupid waste of magic. There's my excuse, and you can flush it or burn it.

And I apologize for the nightmares some of you will have from the last chapter. Have a man-Adel plushie. Those make me feel better. end shameless plug

Warnings: Amnesia, yaoi, and sad Zell.

Disclaimer: Square owns them and I swear they wire-tap my house.

12.

Zell allowed himself to be lead into a room, with J-ran introducing other prisoners. He clapped his hands as he saw Zell.

"This one I captured for you," J-ran stated to the man next to him.

Zell's heart stopped as he got a good look at the blonde before he was dropped to the ground.

Seifer glared down at him with ice-cold green eyes. His face twisted into a sneer. "So what?" he asked, and Zell's heart shattered. Seifer? Didn't Seifer know him? Hadn't Seifer been the one who'd been secretly loving him for all those years, giving him those sweet kisses as he slept?

"Seifer?" he whimpered, and the man blinked in confusion. The taller blonde looked at J-ran for an explanation.

"I thought he might suit you…if he pleases you, that is. Otherwise, I'd like your permission to take him." J-ran licked his lips. He'd never been more thankful for that loophole. With the lover's permission you could then fuck the one you wanted to, in case of threesomes or higher.

Bastard! Zell thought, lifting his face up to glare at the man. J-ran waved to him, blowing fake kisses. There was a sharp intake of breath and Seifer sat down quickly, holding his head.

"Seifer?" Zell asked, a little louder.

"Hold your tongue!" a guard stated, kicking him. Zell winced though these guards were nothing compared to the ones at D-district. Seifer's eyes suddenly pained and he watched as the guards continued.

Zell said nothing, glaring up at the scarred blonde. Were you lying when you said you loved me? He couldn't think it. Pain filled his eyes and the scarred blonde had to look away.

J-ran noted the sudden change and motioned to the guards to stop. "Does he please you?" he asked very quietly, still manipulative and yet afraid.

"He…" Seifer looked at Zell briefly. "He…" Their eyes met and Zell watched as Seifer managed to calm down. "He pleases me," Seifer told J-ran. "Take him to my room."

J-ran bowed and led Zell away, chuckling to himself. "What a lucky boy you are! Chosen by her knight!" He slipped Zell a wink and as the door shut growled. "Too bad you weren't with me, boy…I could make it worth your while."

"You aren't big enough," Zell remarked coldly.

Seifer watched the boy as he exited the room, done deciding what to do with the prisoners. He had other, more important issues to attend to.

Those eyes… He shook his head. He had never seen the man before, or at least he thought. J-ran had told him he'd grown up raised to be Ultimacia's knight and he'd been attacked by SeeD, and that's why he couldn't remember anything.

But for a moment, his cool had melted. The man bowed before him send waves of affection and lust through him, memories riding the wave just underneath the surface. He could almost feel the man's lips on his as… As…

Maybe the tattooed blonde would help him recover his memories.

The knight couldn't focus on his job, he couldn't do anything but think about the blonde in his room. He tried, really he did, but his thoughts wandered to interesting positions and how many times his new pet would come before the night was done.

He managed to wander back to his room, opening the door carefully so this one wouldn't escape. "Hello?" he called, and he saw a quick yellow flash and placed his hands up in defense.

The ceiling was quite lovely from this angle, he decided. Then kisses decided to attack his neck and for once, it didn't burn. This is my lovely…he thought to himself. J-ran wanted him…! Anger burst through him and he flipped the man above him on the over. Guilt suddenly ran through him; he'd just hurt his lovely and he didn't even know them.

Instead of anger, there was a giggling. "You remember the first time we kissed, huh? On the floor, like this…"

Seifer sat up. He was supposed to be the leader, he was supposed to be dominant, and now, suddenly, here was this man taking that away! He couldn't remember and it hurt him, it made him feel badly that this man wasn't getting what he deserved. The man sat up and there were those eyes again, and Seifer could just about drown in them. He leaned over to the tattooed blonde and stared with blank eyes, searching them as guilt started to pump through his stomach. He raced for the bathroom.

Zell sat up, confused again and walked over as Seifer started vomiting. He placed his hands on Seifer's back, like he had before, rubbing the back the same way his Ma had done for him.

The backrub brought back a faint memory, Seifer remembered. However, the memory seemed to be laced with guilt and Seifer puked some more. Damnit! Why did he feel guilty for his lovely?

Because his lovely must have been important to him, he told himself. His lovely must have been really someone special, special enough to go through the ritual with. And he couldn't remember this man, and he couldn't remember his sorceress…

He hit his head. J-ran had told him he was quite important, and the leader but it didn't seem to fit. He didn't want to be the leader and he didn't want to be a Knight and the man was there, holding him taking away his insecurities and his fears. "Shh," the man told him, and Seifer looked up pitifully as he decided to be honest.

"I couldn't stand seeing pain in your eyes," he admitted. "I felt sick." The man blinked and cocked his head, a more obvious way to tell that he was confused than a few words. Seifer reached out and touched his face. "Earlier… when J-ran introduced you."

The man bit his lip and Seifer traced the tattoo, a sudden flash of memory appearing. The man was sleeping, and he was speaking, telling the man of how he loved him, knowing the man would never know, and it was for the best. Why was it for the best? The tattoo was familiar, and he looked at it as it revealed another memory. Cover-up, and kisses on the floor- was that what this man had meant? "I don't…"

Zell suddenly held him tighter. "What's my name?" he asked. When Seifer gave no response Zell started crying, making Seifer feel bad again. "I never should have felt you," Zell murmured to the confused, taller blonde. "I should have known you weren't dead."

"Lovely…?" Seifer asked, ashamed of his ignorance. "Don't tell me your name," he stated, quietly. "If I know it, then I'll have remembered." Zell nodded, tears still flowing with hiccups.

"I love you, Seifer," Zell told him, and Seifer blinked at the next memory. Don't say love. Maybe this man was good for him. Maybe he could remember with his lovely's help. He petted the blonde in front of him, sudden urges to take the blonde completely gone.

"I'm sure I love you, too," he replied, and the blonde blinked, smiling. Then there was a play hit, one that flashed more faint images.

"What makes you say that?" Zell asked, getting up. It had been the right thing to say.

Seifer smiled. "Well, because I performed the ritual with you, right? So I must have cared for you a lot." Zell smiled and started up the kisses again, and Seifer laid back and enjoyed it. Though there was that awkward metal thing pressing against his chest.

Suddenly, Seifer pulled off Zell's shirt and inspected it. Furiously, he snapped the wire in two and slapped Zell. "Explain this." Though Zell's eyes were hurt, Zell had compromised the safety of everybody here and it would not go unpunished. "You're a SeeD?" Seifer suddenly demanded, getting up and hauling Zell to his feet. "You're a filthy SeeD?"

"I always have been, and you knew it," Zell stated sadly, realizing J-ran's lies must be affecting Seifer deeply. Seifer hit him again, and Zell really did cry again. Seifer didn't remember him, at least, not like this. Seifer forced him into the bedroom and pinned him down on the bed, tying Zell's hands to the headstand.

"You LIAR! I'd never betray my sorceress like that!" Seifer hit Zell again, though this time there was no feeling to it. Zell closed his eyes, trying to calm down.

"I'm not going to leave you, Seifer-"

"Shut up!" Seifer yelled, backing into the wall. This couldn't be happening. He fell in love with a SeeD? He knew this man was a SeeD? He…He'd even…This was far too confusing and he retreated to the other room, shutting the door on the tattooed blonde.

Think things through, Seifer told himself. J-ran tried to molest you. J-ran wants you, needs you for this. This man…has…well, he's my lovely, and I'd trust him enough back then, so I should trust him now, but she…

She has yet to rise. I need to get her to rise, and then she'll take over, and I can settle things down with the…SeeD.

Seifer nodded and got a glass of water, wondering what he should do. He didn't trust himself now to go back into the room- he might do something to hurt his SeeD. Seifer chuckled. My SeeD. I've really got it bad, huh? He took a sip, trying not to listen to the soft wails or hiccups obviously hidden so he wouldn't hear. Yet they came and surrounded him and that guilty feeling rose up again. He moved to the bathroom, closing the door.

"Hyne," he muttered, setting down the water. He couldn't hear the SeeD with the door shut, so he sat down in the tub and sighed. His SeeD would need cleaning and his SeeD would need fed and his SeeD would have to use the bathroom at some point, and he didn't feel like keeping the blonde tied to the bed anyway.

"People don't understand her," J-ran had told him. "Really, they have her to thank for everything that's happened. If she wasn't here, maybe someone else would have found that machine. If she wasn't here, your commander wouldn't have met his girlfriend, right? You wouldn't have found your lovely."

"I have a lovely?"

Seifer shook his head. The world needed someone, now, to help them and command them around, uniting them. The world needed someone to help stop SeeD from the evils that they would do in the future. The glass was lifted up again and Seifer drank the cool liquid. This hurt, being torn between his sorceress and his lovely.

The cries had stopped and Seifer opened the door, leaving the glass. His lovely was breathing deeply now, and Seifer moved into the bedroom to catch a glance. Beautiful, he decided. His lovely's body was partially twisted as the man slept, having cried himself to sleep.

"Seifer, I'm cold."

He looked up, glaring at the man for speaking such innuendos. But his lovely slept on, and he realized it was another memory. Sighing, he undid the rope and stared at Zell's arms as he placed them gently on the covers. They were muscular, though it wasn't too apparent. The tattooed blonde was strong, he had no doubt, and probably stronger than he was. Suddenly he had a flash of the blonde fighting nothing, fists swiping the air and it was rather annoying, breaking everyone else's concentration.

He grinned to himself, pulling off his boots and his coat. It was unbearable to leave his blonde any longer, and so he clambered into bed, wrapping his arms around the blonde and somehow, it felt right for once.

Zell's eyes opened slightly as he realized Seifer was holding him. By no means was Seifer asleep and Zell was probably halfway there already. Remembering the hits Seifer had given him he scooted away, only to be drawn back towards Seifer's chest. Zell gave a whine and scooted almost off the bed, and suddenly Seifer's breath hitched.

"Will you come back if I say I'm sorry?" the breath asked above his ear, and Zell shivered. That felt good, even if it was air. He nodded slightly, and Seifer cast a cure before his apology.

Zell happily returned without Seifer forcing him to and snuggled into Seifer's chest. He'd missed this, if only for one night.

… / … / … / … / … / … / …

… / … / … / … / … / … / …

… / … / … / … / … / … / …

Seifer awoke the next day, Zell still sleeping in his arms. Glancing at the clock, he groaned. It was still early in the morning, and later today he'd have to find a proper summoning place for Griever.

Zell made a soft noise and he smiled to himself. He couldn't help but trace those muscles, and he found his hand sliding on his lovely's chest.

Zell's head moved and he mumbled something that sounded like, "dnooatwhngtmrninood." Seifer chuckled, nibbling on the outer shell of Zell's ear. Zell made more squeaking sounds and Seifer stopped. "What?" he asked, and Zell groaned, taking one of Seifer's hands under the blankets.

Oh, Seifer realized. He started to stroke Zell's heat, which was rewarded with several soft pants and sighs and many nuzzles. Oddly enough, Seifer didn't think about his own- if he had it or not. Maybe it was the amnesia. All Seifer could care about was holding and pleasing the blonde in his arms. Zell gasped his name and then spilled into the sheets, and Seifer was thankful he had them changed everyday. His lovely then moved his arm over Zell's neck and nuzzled into it.

It was so wonderful, this feeling, and Seifer could only listen to it as he held Zell with the other hand. Zell's eyes opened slightly for the first time and he smiled. "You've never done that before," he remarked, and then thought decided to enter his head. He scooted away from the other blonde, and Seifer didn't like that, not at all. Forcefully he grabbed Zell's hand and pulled Zell to him, holding him tightly. Zell struggled, but only in half-attempt; half of him wanted to flee, half of him wanted to stay.

"I want to hold you," Seifer whispered to him, and Zell shivered as he stopped struggling. "Maybe I don't remember, but I do feel emotion for you."

Zell smiled sadly, thinking. "I love you, Seifer," he whispered and the guilt came back.

Seifer rested his head upon Zell's and Zell looked up at him. "Do…do you remember anything?" he asked.

"I remember you, only briefly. Watching you as you sleep, a kiss, tiny pieces here and there." Seifer squeezed Zell tightly. "You were important to me."

Somehow the words comforted the smaller blonde and Zell sighed. He'd thought this never possible again; Seifer holding him. And yet, here Seifer was, and Zell was never happier.

SeeD was going to attack again, his mind told him cheerfully. You planted the wire.

"Shit," Zell whispered and Seifer cocked his head. "Seifer, my wire-"

"I've taken care of it. Your SeeD won't attack like they did again." Seifer kissed along Zell's neck and for a moment, Zell was convinced Seifer did indeed recognize him. "Seify," Zell murmured.

" 'Seify'?" Seifer asked, blinking. "We…we have pet names?" Zell laughed and pulled out of Seifer's arms and pinned down the older blonde with his body by sitting on him. Seifer stroked a knee. This was arousing.

"Nah. It was your nickname at the orphanage. We grew up…a lot, actually, together." Zell started to undo his shirt, and Seifer closed his eyes, trying to remember.

With Zell…Zell was crying. Suddenly all sorts of faces appeared in his head; all of Zell, all of Zell crying, just at different ages and all caused by him. Seifer looked away, and Zell lay on top of him, his head on Seifer's pillow. "Did I always hurt you?"

"Nah." Zell told him, throwing his hand in Seifer's face. "You inspired me…along with Grandpa, of course, to choose my weapon. I didn't want to ever be with a weapon if I could be disarmed, and I wanted to choose a weapon I had complete control over. 'Cause I never had control of my emotions, you did. And damn, baby, you've made me feel just about everything."

"Baby?" Seifer asked, realizing Zell was ready to go at it again. "Baby?"

Zell grinned evilly before moving downwards, and Seifer wasn't about to ask what Zell was doing. Suddenly his lovely was returning the favor, and all he could say was a single name that made no sense. "Zell…"

With that he spilled and the blonde returned to his sitting position. Zell was quite happy. "Seems you remember my name, huh?" he stated, and Seifer blinked.

"Zell?"

Zell nodded proudly. Seifer pulled Zell to him, kissing him in time with saying his name. Blushing, Zell pulled away- he'd been trying to help Seifer remember, not…not…

Well, this was turning out to be a morning play-time session.

Seifer chuckled as he saw Zell's lips, wiping the last bit of come off. "I think it suits you," he stated, and Zell blushed. He was beautiful when he did that, Seifer decided. "I think I'll give her my thanks for you when I see her."

"Her?" Zell asked, suddenly getting up. "Ultimacia?"

"Sure," Seifer remarked, not realizing Zell's terror. "I mean, without her, we'd never have done the ritual, right?" He kissed Zell and then moved to the bathroom, leaving the door open in case they'd done that, too, before he lost his memory.

Zell however, was sitting on the bed, quietly thinking that the pieces were falling in front of him. If Ultimacia hadn't existed….Seifer wouldn't have ever told him. SeeD was created for Ultimacia, and then he'd never meet Seifer again, he'd just be taken to his Ma's and Pa's and then Seifer would do his own thing…maybe even end up with Rinoa. Zell shivered. Really, they had a lot to thank her for.

Zell's eyes closed and he could see Ultimacia's gaze, with her war-painted face and her silver hair. Her golden eyes looked sad and her black wing was shaking, but not with anger. Quietly, he opened his eyes, and for a moment, he could see her- a sad hand reaching out to his face and then it was gone. Griever seemed to howl in the back of his mind, the way he had when they fought.

:I'll protect you, my lovely.:

Then the voices left and Seifer emerged from the shower, wondering why his lovely was crying now. "What's wrong?" he asked, more disappointed they hadn't taken showers together when he had his memory than why his lovely was crying.

"I never saw it before," Zell stated, crawling into Seifer's arms. "I always thought she was just evil. But she was sad, and Griever was sad, and if they were sad they couldn't have been all evil, right?" He looked up at confused green eyes. "What if she didn't want to rule the world? I mean, she had time compression and it really didn't do too much for her. She complained she didn't have it, but how else could we get there?"

Seifer said nothing, wondering why these thoughts had never occurred to him, or J-ran before.

Is this the path you wish to take, even when you know you kannot go back?

You do not have to protect me, my knight. You should know better than I that you are free to go when you wish.

"Fool," she stated, but she was concerned, hoping he'd live through what he was about to do next.

Seifer pulled on his pants, getting dressed. Zell had gone into the shower, realizing Seifer was regaining memories.

His cheek was wet. Had Zell kissed him?

Whoo. Yes, Zell kissed him. No tears. I promise.

Only a few more chapters to go, probably one or two. So, yes, Seifer wasn't really a sorceress... I admit, I tried to play that up last chapter 'cause Adel told me to. I swear.

I like an amnesiac Seifer. Maybe I should try it with Zell….

Hmm….

Nah, now I'm just being creepy fun. I think you all can guess the ending about now, but please still read! Maybe there will be sex! Maybe there will be bunnies! Maybe there will be drugs! You never know.

I hope you all stay for the final chapter (s)!

-Delta Immortal