Psychicfiredemoness: Yay! I finally got 100 reviews!

Hiei: Why are you so happy about that?

Psychic: Cause I'm weird like that.

Yusuke: We already knew that.

Psychic: Shut up! I own nothing! Merry Christmas!

Chapter 14 Idiots at Christmas

Quick review

Last time Sapphire sorta went on a date with Kurama where they went Christmas shopping, while Yusuke and Kuwabara continually forced the Jaganshi's under the mistletoe.

End Quick Review

And now the day is Christmas Eve! And everyone is either decorating the temple or setting presents or doing something of the festive nature minus Hiei who didn't know what the holiday was. But back to the subject!

"That's the last one," Keiko said placing a present next to a large pile.

"But where's the tree?" Alex asked after burning the last sprig of mistletoe.

"Ah! Yusuke where's the tree!" Keiko asked.

"Ask grandma," he replied.

"Dimwit! I told you to get a tree!" Genkai yelled.

"When was that!" he asked.

"Three days ago," she stated.

"Oh…well it's too late to get one now," he grinned and took a sip of hot chocolate.

Suddenly an ax flew at him, he caught it.

"Go get one, now!" the old woman growled pointing outside to the forest.

"Fine!" he screamed and stormed outside where it was again snowing.

"This ought to be interesting," Sapphire grinned and headed out the door with Alex, Kayori, and Allyson.

Hour later

"Just pick one it's getting dark out," Alex growled shivering.

Sapphire was meanwhile dancing around in the snow while Kayori flailed on the ground making an angel and Allyson built a snowman with a well built chest. They all sweat dropped upon seeing that.

"Oh that one! That one's perfect!" Yusuke pointed at a tree near the temple.

He ran over brandishing the ax but dropped it when Hiei dropped down.

"What were you going to do to my tree exactly detective?" Hiei growled lowly.

"Nothing," he lied.

"He was gonna chop it down," Allyson stated adding a man lump on her snowman.

"What?" Hiei snapped.

"I didn't know it was yours!" he stated.

"Timber!" Alex yelled and she was the one with the ax about to kill Hiei's tree.

But the ax hit the metal of Hiei's sword. They then started battling in that fashion. Kurama walked up the steps of the temple and with the help of Kuwabara was carrying a Christmas tree. They started inside the temple with it while staring at the brawl.

"Hey you guys got a tree?" Yusuke asked.

"No they got a flower, what does it look like!" Alex yelled and stopped fighting Hiei to run over, and trip in the snow in her attempt to look at the tree.

"A shrub," Sapphire said going along with it.

"No, it looks more like a fish," Kayori said.

"No! A rodent," Allyson stated.

"No it actually looks like that shark man in Hammerhead on sci-fi crossed over with the genetically engineered bats in Fangs with a bit of…" Alex began but stopped when she saw everyone looking at her.

"Well at least they aren't incompetent," Genkai noted seeing Kurama and Kuwabara lug the tree into the temple.

Four hours later (Dinner was within that time)

"There!" Kayori declared putting the star on the tree (I know some people use angels, I do too, but star is the traditional thing if I'm not mistaken)

"And we saved some time by all working on it," Keiko sighed tiredly from the couch.

The clock rang nine times.

"Now children, who wants to hear a festive story?" Alex asked with a large red and green story book.

Kayori, Allyson, and Sapphire all sat around her on the floor like elementary students.

"Which story do you all want to hear?" she asked with a grandma-like tone and opened the book.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Yusuke asked sitting next to Sapphire and Kayori, soon they were joined by Kuwabara, Kurama, Yukina, Keiko, Aaron, Singe, Virginia, Josie, and through force, Hiei.

"Now, which story?" Alex asked sweat dropping at the crowd of teens, "yes Sapphire?"

"Tell us the story of Algebra," she said.

"How is that festive?" Singe asked. (This part is really idiotic so skip it you wish too, it's something I came up with in seventh grade when I was a stupider child)

"Ah yes the story of Algebra," Alex thumbed through some of the book, "long ago in winter there lived a man named Abacas who was married to a woman named Algebra, they soon had several children named, Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication, Division, Fraction, Inequality, Graph, and Textbook, who was the eldest. Abacas hated children, so he murdered his wife and children. He soon became regretful and to honor them for the rest of time created a new type of math called Algebra, in which was and still is used in a Textbook and it deals with all of his other children's names, but as he still hated children especially teenagers, forced them to pass Algebra, and that is why we don't use it in real life, any questions?"

They stayed silent before…

"That made no sense! You are a complete idiot Alex! I can't believe you even passed kindergarten!" Virginia screamed.

"Oh yeah! At least I came up with something! Let's see you try!" Alex spat throwing the book at the other fire demon and took her seat next t Hiei and Sapphire.

"Fine! I will!" Virginia snapped and took Alex's seat on the couch and opened the book and started flipping through it and reading off the stories, "The truth of Santa…The truth behind yogurt…what the hell! Why in the world do you have this kind of crap!"

"I get bored easily," Alex replied uncaring to the girls opinion.

"Oh! Here's something good, Deep Dark Secrets," Virginia started reading, "Subject: Virginia? Observation one: Virginia is a gay man that had a wet dream about Hiei. What! That isn't true!"

"How do we know?" Hiei asked eyeing both females suspiciously.

'It was a joke Jagan-boy, cool it,' Alex sighed through telepathy.

'Hn,' he replied.

The large book was then thrown at Alex as Virginia took her seat next to Hiei and Alex.

"Sis did you have to burn all the mistletoe?" Singe asked looking around.

"Yes," Alex replied sitting back on the couch and flipping through the book.

"Why?" she stretched the word.

"Cause the plants have eyes and they saw something no one should see," Alex twitched and threw the book at her sister and left the room, "night. And remember to stay in your rooms from ten to four."

"Why?" Yusuke asked.

"Don't you know?" Sapphire asked with a fake worried tone.

Alex came back and sat on the couch.

"You mean you've not heard the legends?" she asked.

"Of what?" Kuwabara asked.

"Santa Clause!" Alex, Sapphire, Kayori, and Allyson stated.

They all fell over minus Hiei and Yukina who didn't know who that was.

"Are you serious!" Yusuke screamed.

"Yes the true legend of Santa Clause," Alex replied.

"You mean the red ape man that's gonna rape Carl?" Aaron asked.

"You've been watching Aqua Teens again haven't you?" Singe asked.

"So?" he replied.

"Ahem the legend of Santa Clause goes back hundreds maybe even thousands of years," Alex began.

"Are you being serious!" Yusuke yelled.

"Shh!" Alex's friends hissed.

"But he would lure people back to his den with the promise of friendship and cookies, but he knocked them out and took them to the frigid realm of the North Pole, where he fed them to his magical reindeer. He did this every year on December 25th for over a century, but he fattened all his reindeer so much that they died of obesity, and soon got normal reindeer that ate plants. He also got too old to lure children back, so he hired elves to do his bidding. But he didn't have a taste for the flesh of human children so he married a woman and forced her to cook for him, and when the dead bodies started piling up he decided to start giving their body parts out as presents, and soon the legend was twisted into a jolly fat man giving good children presents," Alex stated getting stares, "What? It's true and you guys know it!"

They continued to stare at her.

"Screw you guys! I'm goin' to be," she growled storming out with her book.

"So…" Yusuke said trying to break the awkward silence.

"Yes?" Kayori asked.

He shrugs and she face faulted.

"Well this ain't goin' nowhere," Sapphire got up, "night."

And one by one everyone went to bed, but not before Yusuke placed twice as much mistletoe around the temple as Alex had burned.

End Chapter (I need help! Read the below!)

Psychic: Well I'm done for now. And I found a reason to permanently kill the Hiei Alex relationship.

Alex: Cause Hiei loves Mukuro! So later he's gonna betray me and break my heart and go to Makai and live with her.

Psychic: Unless you people can manage to change my opinion, but what I needed help on is…What should they get each other for Christmas! I already know what Sapphire's getting everyone, she helped me.

Alex: Yep. Well please review. And if you care for my pairing try to change her awkward little mind. See ya.