Tessi's POV
I stared unblinkingly at the ceiling. The ship was rocking violently again, most of the crew was still up on the deck, Misty was in the hammock beside me, and I was trying to comprehend what she had just told me. Apparently the ship decided it had had enough of me just sitting there staring at the ceiling and decided to jar me back into life, seeing as it pitched violently and I was thrown onto the floor. It really hurt to get back up again because it felt like I was tearing my stomach into two, but I got up slowly and carefully, so it wouldn't hurt my stomach too much.
Misty looked over worriedly, but it didn't really matter since my stomach wasn't bleeding it didn't feel like it had been split open. I lie back down on the hammock and fell asleep. I woke up about three hours later when the crew was stomping down the stairs of the forecastle. I decided to give up on any hopes of sleep for a while, unlike Misty who was trying to wrap her hammock completely around her just so she could stay asleep.
I waited until everyone had fallen asleep and walked up onto the deck, it was still raining but I didn't care. I walked to the bow of the ship, and sat down in the point where the starboard side and the port side met. I drew my knees up to my chest, wrapped my arms around them and laid my head down. I was trying so hard to remember everything from 2005, but I could hardly even remember what my house looked like, and I had lived in that house for eighteen years, or at least I thought it was eighteen years. But now, no matter how hard I tried, I could see myself sitting in the parlor reading, or in the library looking for another book, eating in an overly fancy dining room, and what was worse, I didn't even remember what the kitchen looked like. I had obviously never been in there before. And when I thought of my room, instead of thinking about the pool house, or the room I lived in until I started high school, I could see Misty's and my room, with a balcony looking out over the ocean. There was no ocean in London. It was painfully obvious to me that I didn't belong in 2005, and that I was supposed to be here, on this ship, that somehow, something had switched my destiny with the destiny of the people who were living the life I should be living right now, and we had just gotten back on track.
I couldn't have been sitting there for more then half an hour when a voice from beside me said, "What's a matter love?"
I was so startled that I literally jumped; I looked to my right and saw Jack sitting there, his legs stretched out in front of him, arms crossed over his chest. He was the picture of nonchalance. Which only made me upset, I could see in his eyes that he was worried, but the way he was sitting made it seem like he didn't really care.
"Why should I tell you? It's not like you really care." I spat, and turned away from him.
Jack sighed in annoyance, and said, "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't care."
My heart leapt at those words for some reason, but I forced it back down to its rightful place in my chest and said, "You would have asked. A lot of people ask when they don't care. It's called being nosy. So what makes you special? How do I know that you aren't lying either, you are the infamous Capitan Sparrow."
Jack sighed and said, "I don't know why I care so much Love. But I do, maybe it's because I hate to see such a pretty girl sad."
I rolled my eyes at his last comment. Although it did make me feel a little special, but I pushed the thought aside almost as soon as I thought it. I sighed and looked away from him before saying, "You wouldn't understand."
I heard Jack move and suddenly his hand was moving my head so that I was looking at him and he was a lot closer then before and he whispered, "Try me."
I was a little breathless, but I turned away from him again and said, "It's not like you've ever had your entire world ripped right out from under you, like a rug and before you can crash the world is gone too and you feel like you're just throwninto the ocean and you're reaching your hand out of the water, waiting for someone to grab it, and there's no one there. And just when you think you're about to surface another wave pushes you back under."
Jack stayed quiet as if he knew I needed to get this out and if I were interrupted I might just clam up again and then I'd eventually break down.
"I based my life around this one concept, it was the most stability and normality I've ever had and I think that I will ever have, and I love stability and normality, it helps me feel safe, although I also love surprises, I mostly want a life that doesn't change much. But this just, it ripped everything I had ever planned and dreamed right out from under me, set them on fire, and waltzed all over them. I just always thought that this was how my life would go, and now it's like someone just sent a message saying, 'Hey sorry, this life was actually for Tessa Swain, not Swann, so sorry for the mix up, but here's your real life. I'm afraid you'll have to give up all your hopes and dreams too.'" I said the last part bitterly and I didn't even realize I had begun to cry.
Jack had moved back to my side, sometime during my speech, and he pulled me into his lap and held me against him. I was fully aware that this was a very rare display of affection and that it might be the last time I ever see such affection for anything but his ship or the sea.
"I do know what you mean love. I know very well what you mean. But maybe, what's replacing what you got taken away is better then what you had in the first place. Maybe that Tessa Swain is getting the short end of the stick and Tessa Swann is about to get a life better then all of her wildest dreams."
"I wish…"I said sullenly and lay my head on his chest a few moments longer, before looking up at the sky, a meteor shot across the sky and I closed my eyes and made a wish.
A/N: I really like this chapter, I don't know why, its really kind of short, but I thought it was good, thankies to all those who review.
