WE DO NOT OWN THE BREAKFAST CLUB
Friday. April 6, 1984. Shermer High School. Clarendon Hills, Illinois.
(Claire)
As Luke and I turned to walk down to the car where my father waited for us, Allison called, "See you tonight, right? At seven?" I waved my hand in acknowledgment.
"See who where?" asked Luke
"Oh, right, you weren't there. We're meeting at Judd's Diner tonight. Daddy usually lets me go there. It was Allison's idea."
As we climbed into the car, my father asked, "How was school today, Claire Bear?"
"It was fine, Daddy. Can you give us a ride to Judd's tonight? I'm meeting some friends at 7."
"Sure, honey. Did your mother give you your allowance?"
Something made me look over my shoulder at Luke, and I was surprised to see him looking angry. What had happened now?
"Yes, Mother gave it to me on Monday," I answered abstractedly.
"Do you have enough left for dinner? I think I have a twenty in my wallet."
"I'll look and see when we get home. I should have enough."
When we got home, I dumped my books on the dining room table and gestured Luke towards the den. "Let's watch some MTV. You hungry? I'll get us a snack. I think there is some gouda left, maybe with Triscuits? You want a Coke?"
Luke mumbled, "O.K." and turned towards the den. He had been looking angry in the car and now he seemed… not right. What was bothering him? I turned and followed him instead of going to the kitchen as I'd intended.
He slumped onto the couch. I sat next to him and took his hand. When he looked up, I said, "Luke, what's wrong?"
"I don't know what gouda or Triscuits are." He sounded resentful.
"Gouda is a kind of cheese and Triscuits are crackers. Both are really yummy." Luke didn't say anything. "Tell me what's really wrong, Luke."
Suddenly he was ablaze with anger. "Do you know what I get when I get home from school?" he shouted. "I don't get fancy cheese and crackers in front of cable TV. I get yelled at and hit!"
I squeezed his hand tight. "You're not there anymore. You're here. No one is yelling at you now. You have nice things now. You don't live in that hell hole anymore. You're out, for good." I watched as one tear trickled down his cheek.
"I've never even been to a restaurant," he muttered.
"Well, you'll like Judd's. They have great burgers and milkshakes. It's all decorated like the 1950's, with a big jukebox and everything." I squeezed his hand again.
"And how can I ever pay for my own dinner?"
Oh, I forgot Luke didn't get an allowance or anything.
"I can buy us dinner. It's no problem. Daddy can give me that $20 and that should be enough."
"Do you know, I've never held a $20 bill in my hand before?"
I tried not to gape. "Never?"
"Are you kidding? With my dad stuffing every penny up his crack pipe? Any money in the Henderson family goes up in smoke. And where would I get $20, anyway?" Luke slouched down again. "I always thought on my first date, I'd be buying dinner, not her."
I thought about this. I got an allowance, $15 a week. Luke would be my parents' foster child. Shouldn't he get an allowance too? Would my parents agree to this? Would Luke agree to this?
"I'll tell you what, I'll give you the $20 and you can pay me back. Then you can take me out to dinner. I'm excited for our first date!"
"How would I ever pay you back? I can't borrow money I can't pay back."
"We'll think of something. I'm sure we can work something out. Let's worry about that later. Turn on MTV, I'll grab a snack for us."
We entered Judd's at five til seven and paused by the cash register and the long counter with stools. Looking past the waitress' podium, I saw Andy and Brian had already staked out 2 tables to seat the six of us. As Luke and I were settling ourselves, I looked around. There were ten booths against the walls, with an open area for table seating. We took up most of that area. It was a Friday night, so the place was packed. We were lucky to get two tables together. Bender and Allison arrived a moment later. Our waitress came, plunking down six glasses of water and distributing menus.
Brian leaned closer to be heard and said to Luke, "Congratulations on your A+ essay. What did you write about?"
"I'd like to know that as well, since apparently, it was about US," Bender announced. "What has Luke been saying about us? Ratting us out?" He looked pretty fierce.
"You wanna read it?" Luke asked, a challenge in his voice.
"Not especially. Academic writing is not my preferred mode of entertainment on a Friday night." For a thug, Bender had a big vocabulary.
"I want to read it. I only got a B+ on mine," Brian said wistfully. "Mrs. Schmidt is a tough grader."
Luke pulled a folded, wrinkled mass of paper from his back pocket. "Here, you can read it now if you like." He passed it to Brian.
"I'd like to read it, too. Pass it to me when you're done," I said. It seemed so important to Luke, I was curious.
Brian unfolded the papers and began reading silently. After only a few moments, he exclaimed, "It is about us. It's about the Breakfast Club."
"I'd like to read it, too. Pass it along to me next," said Andy.
Allison, sitting next to Brian, tried looking over his shoulder. It seemed like we all were curious, except Bender.
"Read it out loud, Brian, we all want to hear," I suggested.
So Brian began, 'This is just my personal opinion…'
I was immediately captured by his writing, it was just like he was talking directly to us. Hearing him describe his father's abusive language made my heart hurt, but when Brian got to the part, 'I didn't know if it was because I was anxious about starting at a new school or because I hadn't eaten anything in the last 24 hours…' I exclaimed, "You hadn't eaten in 24 hours? Oh, Luke." No wonder he reacted like that to my offer of a snack. They were starving him. I grabbed his hand under the table.
We listened on, hearing about meeting Brian and starting his first day of school off with confronting a bully. He was so brave to stand up for Brian.
At hearing 'no one had ever really cared about me before…' Allison looked over and said, "That's a lonely place to be. No one cared about me until the Breakfast Club." She said this so matter-of-factly, it made me want to cry.
"Your parents are assholes," Bender told Allison, putting an arm around her. They exchanged a look full of secret meaning. I thought perhaps Bender knew that feeling, too. All of my new friends came from uncaring homes. Even Andy, whose father only cared about him winning.
Brian flushed slightly when described as the MVP among the mathletes. Brian probably wasn't used to thinking of himself as a 'most valued' anything.
The bit about me being one of the populars and being out of Luke's league made me squirm a bit. It was exactly what I'd thought, too, that someone like him was beneath me and not worthy of my attention. I used to be such a stuck up bitch.
Bender laughed at Luke's description of him. "Yeah, that's right, me and my burning dark eyes." He tipped his chair back, balancing it on its back legs. If we hadn't been in a restaurant, I'm sure Bender would have put his boots up on the table.
We all burst out with indignation when Brian read on, about how Luke's mother blamed him for just existing. Brian paused, but Luke urged him to continue. His description of bruises made me want to cry again, but I saw Bender nodding. He knew what that was like, too.
I was horrified at the description of his mother being beaten by his father. I had never come close to anything like this, battered women, abused children. I clung to Luke's hand, my other hand covering my mouth. Bender, despite his initial air of boredom, seemed to be following this part with rapt attention.
It was interesting hearing how Luke saw our activities in detention, to see things through his eyes. His affection and care for Brian touched my heart. As we got to the part when Bender called Brian a Neo-Maxi-Zoom-Dweebie, our waitress came to take our drink orders. I had to jostle Luke to get him to order, which he did rather tentatively, requesting a coke. It was hard for me to imagine, not having ever been to a restaurant in your life.
Brian continued, getting to the place where Bender does his imitation of how he thinks Brian's home life is.
"Can we skip this?" asked Brian.
Allison said, "Yes," just as Bender said, "No."
"Let's hear it," said Andy.
Brian continued through Bender's impersonation of Brian's family, and then his own family. We all knew what was coming next, Luke's complete freak out. Brian paused and looked at Luke.
"Go ahead, why not?" was Luke's reply. "I survived it the first time."
Brian had been reading pretty glibly up to this point. As we got deeper into Luke losing it, his voice became more hesitant. Finally, Bender snatched it from Brian and continued, much more confidently. He gave the words Luke had written the justice they deserved. At one point, Allison shushed him for getting too loud. Bender seemed to relate to this as much as he had the other parts about domestic violence. When he finally reached the end, we were all silent.
Eventually Bender said, "We got more in common than I thought. And here comes Patty, to take our orders."
I hastily scanned the menu, not having considered my selection. Finally I decided on a bacon cheeseburger and a strawberry milkshake.
"Claire, what should I get?" Luke muttered.
"Well, I don't know, what are you in the mood for?"
"Food?" was his wry response.
"Judd's does really good burgers, you can't go wrong there. And you need to try their milkshakes. They have chocolate, strawberry and vanilla." I pointed to the relevant part of the menu.
"But this is so expensive."
"You're taking me out to dinner and you want your date to be a good one, don't you?" He wavered. "Get what you really want. It's going to be way less than that $20 you've got in your wallet. Treat yourself."
By this time Patty got around to us, so Luke ordered a cheeseburger and chocolate shake with a good show of confidence, then I ordered.
Bender carefully smoothed out Luke's essay and handed it back to Brian with a flourish. We all giggled through our hallway escapade. When Brian came to the spot where Bender started singing about being an airborne ranger to distract Vernon and Luke admitted it was a noble sacrifice on Bender's part, Bender took a little bow.
Brian went on, through our pot smoking episode, but we all sobered when we got to the part where I asked Luke why he didn't ask for help and he explained the realities of life to me.
"As Claire wrapped her arms around me, I saw Bender embracing Allison out of the corner of my eye. She was crying and he seemed to be comforting her. It was something that I'd never thought I would see, but I've seen stranger things." This concluded the eighth chapter and Bender dabbed at an imaginary tear.
Perfect timing, our food arrived at that moment. I was glad to see Luke laughing and enjoying his food. I hoped he'd get used to this, having a nice life with friends and good times. Our meal came to an end and we received the check. For some reason Patty seemed to think putting it front of Bender made sense. Andy grabbed it up and started trying to calculate his share of the check, but quickly got lost.
"Sporto can't do math?" Bender asked, his usual sarcastic self. "Let me."
Andy held it out of Bender's reach, saying, "Like we can trust you."
Luke interrupted their squabble by suggesting Brian figure out everyone's total.
"Let's let the mathlete earn his keep." He encouraged Brian by saying, "Go ahead, we trust you."
Brian looked flattered and quickly set to work. Luke's total was $11.50, so Brian accepted his $20 bill and gave him correct change from the growing pile in front of him. Luke started putting his change in his wallet but I stopped him.
"You need to leave a tip."
Looking embarrassed, he asked,"Umm, how much?"
"20% is good. That would be about $2.50." I was glad everyone else was busy doing their own tip calculations and didn't notice Luke's anxiety and inexperience.
When we ended up on the sidewalk outside Judd's, Allison suggested we walk down to Hitch Park. "We need to hear the rest of Luke's essay."
Settled on benches, Brian was given the essay again and began reading.
Once we got to Allison's completely fictitious story about being a nympho, I started feeling a bit angry again.
After reliving my coerced confession I interrupted and asked Allison, "Why did you do that to me?"
"I don't know. I was bored."
"Nice thing to do to someone, just because you're bored."
"You were in a bubble and I wanted to burst it."
"Oh, that's even nicer."
"Bubbles aren't always good things. Sometimes you need to touch reality."
Andy came to her defense, saying, "We all sort of ganged up on you, it wasn't just Allison."
"But why?" I asked all of them.
Only Bender didn't squirm. Finally Luke said, "Maybe it was a bit of revenge on the populars."
"Oh, well, OK, I guess that makes it alright," I huffed sarcastically.
"No, that doesn't make it alright. I'm sorry I started it," Allison admitted.
I still felt disgruntled, but I waved Brian on to continue.
Brian looked sheepish and said,"I'm sorry, too, Claire. I didn't like being forced to admit my status as a virgin either."
Andy muttered an apology as well. Luke squeezed my hand and said, "Me, too."
I looked at Luke and the others. "Maybe I did deserve that, a little bit. Anyway, carry on."
Brian continued, coming to Andy's story about Larry Lester. I watched Andy's face. He seemed close to tears again, living his confession all over again. Brian paused, getting ready to dive into his own story, but Andy asked him, "How is Larry?"
"He's OK. Most of the skin grew back, it doesn't hurt anymore."
"How do you apologize for that? I mean, is there anything I can do, do you think?"
Brian looked unsure, but Allison chimed in, "You could get him something he wants, for reparations."
Andy looked puzzled. "Reparations, What's that?"
"Compensation for harm done," Brian answered, like he was being called on in school.
"How do I know what he wants?" Andy asked, looking frustrated.
"Ask Brian," Allison suggested.
We all looked at Brian. "Well, he doesn't have a good pocket calculator. The kind with all the special trig functions. I think he'd like that."
Andy nodded. "Can you come with me to Woolworth's tomorrow, help me pick out a good one?"
"Radio Shack would be better," Brian explained. "We can meet there tomorrow."
Getting back to the essay, Brian read silently for a moment, then said, "I don't want to read this part. Someone else take over." He thrust the wad of papers into the middle of the circle.
Allison grabbed the essay and began, now starting Brian's story of the lamp. We all listened intently as we each went through it all again: Brian's and Bender's argument about lamps and trigonometry, my lipstick feat, the descriptions Bender and Luke had of their banner year Christmases. When Allison got to that point, I remembered what came next, all the truths I was forced to face, and I didn't want to hear that part. But everyone else had listened to their difficult moments, I should listen to mine as well. So I listened as first Luke and then Brian explained to me what a stuck up bitch I was.
Brian ducked his head when we got to his intentions with the flare gun. He kept his head down until we all started laughing about the idea of using a flare gun to kill yourself. It really was pretty comical, and he laughed, too.
We got to the very end of detention and Allison was folding up the papers, but Luke said, "There's more. I'll read now."
His description of his father beating his mother the next day, and how his little brother hid under the bed made me want to cover my ears, but I didn't. I kept listening to Luke's uncertainties about how the rest of the Breakfast Club might act on Monday, and his uncertainties about me in particular. I remembered my own Sunday. I'd debated back and forth with myself. Although I lied to myself and said to myself I'd acknowledge their existence, deep down I knew I didn't have that strength. Luke was right to doubt me.
Going through Monday all over again was painful. I now hated myself for how I acted. How weak and false I was. How I betrayed Luke and the rest of the Breakfast Club. Especially Luke. I couldn't help it, I started crying when Luke called me ugly inside.
I was so immersed in my misery at first I didn't realize Luke had stopped reading. When I looked up, he was gazing at me with such love it pulled at my heart.
"You're a different person now, Claire. This is how you really are, not that stupid veneer of conformity." He was holding both of my hands.
We looked into each other's eyes and Luke was leaning forward to kiss me when our spell was broken by Bender calling out, "Break it up, love birds. Let's get on with it."
I squirmed a bit as I heard what the rest of the Breakfast Club thought of me and my defection, but then we were suddenly in Luke's house, his little brother being thrown against the refrigerator. I gasped. Luke wavered, then his voice got hard with anger. His voice rose as he imitated his father's yells, but no one tried to calm him. This was obviously doing something for him, to get it out. He read on, right to the end of the chapter, where he lost consciousness.
We were all silent until Bender said, "I gotta say, I don't like my old man, but I will give him this… he's never stabbed me."
Luke gathered himself and shuffled the pages of his essay until he found the spot where he left off, waking in a hospital room. When he continued, I closed my eyes and clenched my fists as I heard myself confess my cowardice again. But it was over quickly and he got to the part about kissing me. I liked that part, could have listened to it over and over. The arrival of his mother snapped me out of my cloud of fuzzy feelings.
"We meant that much to you?" Allison asked, when he finished relating his feelings of love towards all of the Breakfast Club. "I've never been like family to anyone. I'd never been loved, before the Breakfast Club." She looked at Bender and then back at Luke. "Thank you."
As Luke carried on, detailing his thoughts and feelings about our offer of refuge from his own home, I was surprised at his reluctance and difficulty in accepting our help. I was so used to things being handed to me, I never thought much about it. It never occurred to me that someone might not want to have something handed to them. This was a new idea to me. It helped me understand Luke better.
We got to the very end, and it finished off wonderfully: "Remembering a criminal with a reckless grin and a hot temper. An athlete who was pushed to hate a sport he should love. A brain who tried to end it all with a flare gun. A basket case who didn't deserve to be ignored and a princess who had abdicated her throne for the love of a commoner"
I kissed Luke and this time ignored Bender as he made disgusted noises.
HUGE SHOUTOUT TO POPPY471. REVIEWS NEEDED AND APPRECIATED.
