Choices

Minerva

Written by Izzu

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She slammed her fist on the desk as Shinn jumped. "What do you think you're doing?", growled Talia as Shinn glared at her proudly, totally dismissing that awful feeling he had felt when Kira had slapped and scolded him.

He eyed the woman angrily. "I've done nothing wrong! That guy was from ORB! That ill—bidding, deceitful country... It must be the Earth Alliance trick!", shouted Shinn in retailation as Talia stood in anger. Rey looked at her silently, surprised of her outburst.

"You've disobeyed a direct order... and you launched without permission! Have you gone proud after what you've done... releasing that Extended girl? Don't you think because the chairman favoured you—"

"She's not an Extended girl... Her name was Stellar!", cried Shinn forcefully as another voice interupted him.

"So you've kept your own sentiments to yourself, assuming you're the only one correct? That was some pride...", said Athrun as he walked in and stopped near him.

Athrun turned towards him as he gave a disaproving look. "And Kira was NOT from EA... He and Archangel crew had defected from EA two years ago, there's no way they would act to the alliance's wish!"

Shinn frowned even more as he heard this. "Then all the more was he the enemy! Did you forget what they did? Because of their interference... Heine— And what with ORB doing... joining EA?"

"And you forgetting that small part that the girl YOU had freed WAS the one who killed Heine? Shinn! I thought you were better than that!'

Before he could counter Athrun's words, a mocking laugh broke the tension in the room as Shinn, Athrun, Rey, Talia and Luna turned towards the entrance. For before them stood Kira, bandages on his head and his arm hand supported just well below his chest. His military jacket just loosely hanging over his lean frame.

"I've been wondering if ZAFT had changed after the last war... Alas, nothing happened. You guys are still as stupid and foolish as you guys were before..."

Shinn glared at him as Athrun looked at him in alarm. "Kira! When did you— you were injured! You should be resting!", he cried out as he hastily walked towards his side. Kira lifted his other hand as he motioned Athrun to stop, while keeping his face away from looking at his friend.

"Don't work yourself out on me too much... Athrun Zala. I've gotten into situations more worse than this—", he said emotionlessly as Athrun froze. The tone that was used... as if both of them were total strangers...

But before realization settled inside of him, Kira whispered again... as he passed Athrun. "I wonder... what had happened to the Justice pilot I once knew...?", he spoke softly as Athrun felt a pang of pain on his heart.

It felt as if ages has passed before him as he heard Kira spoke again. "So... you're the pilot of Impulse. I'd never thought that you'd be the one in that suit...", Athrun turned around as he saw the puzzled look of Luna and Talia, while Shinn himself glared at Kira.

"Forgotten me? Huh... I suppose you might. I never thought the person Cagalli told me about would be you...", Kira frowned as he noticed Shinn's reaction as he mentioned Cagalli. He closed his eyes as he spoke again. "You said that we were your enemy. Though... we, Archangel and ORB never saw you as our enemy." He paused. "Then again... who, or what was our real enemy? Why or when is it that we must fight? Is there a reason for everything to happen?—"

Talia frowned as she tried to understand what Kira was talking about. What he's playing...

"Answers to this... do you have it, Miss Captain?", said Kira abruptly as Talia gasped in surprise. Kira chuckled as he turned his attention back towards Shinn. "I heard that you held deep hatred towards ORB. Ironic, isn't it? Considering that you were born and raised there...", Kira said as he sighed. "Did you craved so much to shoot me?", said Kira as he noticed Shinn's hand trying to reach to his gun.

Luna and Athrun looked at him in reproach as Kira continued. "Why don't you? I've noticed that you really love taking people's lives...", he asked as Shinn suddenly pulled his hand back.

"I AM NOT LIKE THAT!", cried Shin as Kira spoke again.

"Did it feel great? Suddenly you felt yourself being more calm, becoming more tactical and stronger in battle... Suddenly realizing that you've become more agile than your enemy and faster, have you no emotions while you slash your enemies out of their fragile lives?', snapped Kira as Shinn looked at him in horror. Why... how did this person could describe something he thought he never told anyone about? The changes he felt about himself during battles in the past.

Kira looked away. "Ever since it all started... memories of those lives I've taken... and couldn't save, I still remembered them. Even enemies of the opposition... I still bear their burden of life. That I, being the one still living... must continue protecting what they have fought for. Even now... I tried my best to avoid anymore death—"

Shinn gritted his teeth as anger started boiling inside of him. Are you trying to judge me?, thought Shin angrily.

"But... this is war, isn't it? Even if we fought our best... people still dies. Was there anyone to be blamed—?", said Kira as Talia suddenly looked at him differently. Somehow, something Kira said sparked something inside her heart...

"But... it's different with you, isn't it?", and suddenly Kira's word took a harsher tone. Athrun merely watched as Kira's anger seemed to have arisen. "You took away all those lives, mercilessly. They're your enemies, aren't they? You wouldn't care if they died, would you? If your enemy still have any families left...', Kira swayed as Athrun caught him. "—you'd think nothing, won't you?", Kira sighed as he touched his head.

"Man... I never thought talking would be so tiring..."

"That's why I said you should rest—", scolded Athrun softly as Kira waved at him carelessly.

"Nah... this was nothing. I've had worse. This was nothing compared to having a gundam self—destructed on you", muttered Kira as Athrun sighed deeply. After they were reunited at ORB, they talked briefly about what happened after the explosion. But later... they never mentioned it. Never wanted to... anymore. Athrun wondered why Kira suddenly mentioned this.

"Athrun... can you led the guest to—"

"Nevermind... Kira will stay with me", said Athrun, plainly as he led Kira away. Shinn blinked at what just occured in front of him.

"Then... Did YOU cared?", snapped Shinn accusingly as Kira turned towards him, agitated.

"Yes... I do. I still am," said Kira slowly as Luna watched him in awe. "As among the people you've killed, was a very honorable man. Despite he had to followed Seiran's foolish orders and bad decisions, he still believed in ORB's original ideals..."

Shinn frowned as he wondered to himself where this will lead him to..

Kira glared at him. "Colonel Todaka was a brave and good man. He fought... till the very last breath of his, to protect ORB. And you killed him... a good man. Are you happy with what you did? Does Colonel Todaka, and the rest of ORB soldier who were forced to fight in order to protect ORB from EA... deserved to die?", said Kira before Athrun and Luna ushered him out of the room.

Talia frowned as she dismissed the remaining pilots. As Rey dragged Shinn along the corridors, he paused as he noticed Shinn's pale looks.

"Mister Todaka? I... k—killed him?", the lad muttered as Rey looked at him in concern...

"Shinn? What's wrong...?"

xxx

"Why did you come here?", asked Athrun as Kira sat on a sole chair inside Athrun's quarters. Kira ignored the question as he looked around the small room.

Lunamaria entered the room as Kira looked at her curiously. Athrun turned towards her. "Lunamaria! What are you—" he eyed Kira before addressing her again.

Lunamaria shrugged nervously as she glanced towards Athrun. "Athrun, I have a confession to make. Before this, I... followed you when you sneaked out to meet your old comrades."

Hearing this, Athrun cried aloud in surprise. "Lunamaria! Why?"

Lunamaria looked away. "Worry... but now I want to learn more about things!", said Lunamaria as Kira turned towards her.

"What's your name?", he asked.

Luna started to stutter. "Luna... Lunamaria Hawke... ", she said as Kira nodded.

"I see...", he said as he looked up at her. "Then, what do you think I'm doing here... risking my own life and of Archangel, trying to convince that deceitful chairman to let me approach Minerva under the pretense of agreeing to be allies?", said Kira again as Athrun and Luna looked at him with confusion.

"It's because of you!", snapped Kira as he turned towards Athrun angrily. "You stupid coordinator! Do I need to come here dragging you out by myself, to make you snap out of this illusion of yours?"

"What do you mean... Kira?", cried Athrun as Luna sat timidly at the corner.

"I'm tired of this..."

"Huh?", gasped Athrun as Kira looked away. "I'm tired of seeing you fighting against us... when it was so obvious that you should not be doing that. I'm tired of seeing Cagalli crying over everything that had happened... tired of seeing her blaming herself on everything that's going on..."

"Kira—?", gasped Athrun in concern as Kira glanced back towards him.

"And I'm worried. More over you after I've met that chairman. He's someone that we cannot underestimate. That Durandal has his own agenda..."

"Kira—! You still—", cried Athrun as Kira snapped at him.

"Why can't you try to consider a possibility that that man was using you? That he... could have schemed to manipulate the war... and even the people of PLANT? Athrun... I beg you to at least think about this. Come back with me"

Lunamaria and Athrun looked at him as Kira continued. "I've asked if he knew anything about Lacus's assasination. Even if he did not give a straight answer... I felt that he might be the one planning it after all. With that fake Lacus... he could easily manipulated the whole PLANT!"

"Kira..."

"Did you trust that person so much?" he asked as Kira turned towards Lunamaria and smiled weakly. "Miss Lunamaria... would you mind showing me around the ship? I'd like to take some air...", he said as Luna nodded.

"Of course...", she said as she lead him out of the room, leaving Athrun by himself.

/TBC/