Hmmm... though I am offically stuck with all my stories, I'm gonna give it try... Why? Because I'm absolutely bored out of my mind...
... i have no life...
Tainted for life
Chapter 9
PS: Fantasy or reality: I'm sorry for the confusion this might have caused cuz i posted this chapter before only with a little addition that wasn't my intention. When I have an idea, or a good sentence I always write it down and I had an alternative story for what was supposed to happed but I changed it into this. In either case, I forgotten that those ideas were at the end of this chapetr, so I posted them by accident as well. I fixed my mistake as soon as possible but for those who have read it anyway: THAT was SO NOT what I meant to do ; ) I can be so stupid at times. FORGET what you read! Please?
KNOCK KNOCK
'It's open.' Duo absentmindly called. He sat on his bed, his knees drawn up to his chest while he was reading a book. Or at least he was trying to, he found it hard to concentrate after all that had happened recently. They were still in New York, to handle the last few things and busy selling half of what his father worked so hard for to build up. Though he and his family might resent it, other companies were happy to buy. He never realised just how much his father business was worth... he just hoped he was seeing it, how his company was being ripped apart...
He looked up to find his mother standing next to the bed, looking at him with a kind smile. He closed the book and put it away, it wasn't like it had captivated him anyway.
Seeing that he was making time for her she sat down and now Duo noticed the stash of photo's she was holding in her hand. He was curious to find out what was on them.
'What's that?'
She frowned but then realised he was talking about the photo's. She handed him the stash. 'I was doing some home shopping. If you like it.. this one if ours...'
Duo gasped as he saw the picture of what must have been the most beautiful and perfect house he had every seen. The first picture was taken from the end of the long driveway and showed the entire house from the front. It wasn't as large as their previous house, but still big, mansion-like, but this one had a huge garden with beautiful blossom flowers and trees around it. The house was made out of dark bricks, white windowstills, a black/grey roof, three stories high... one corner of the house was ivy-grown, the plant trying to make it's way further up. He fond it hard to imagine such a house in a pretty densly populated area, but he didn't even dare to question it. It was beutiful. The next pictures were those from the backside of the house, the rest of the huge garden, with pool and a large poolhouse! More pictures showed the undecorated inside, the large hall with white tiles, the large livingroom and kitchen with dark wooden floors, white walls, a study, a bathroom, a normal, wooden staircase this time that led upstairs to find another large bathroom, three large rooms and a huge balconey connected.
'Mom...' He didn't know what to say. He knew he should've been just as happy with a small and ugly house, as long as they were free, but he could so perfectly picture him sleeping in one of those... preferably with Heero. Their family dining at the dinner table, preferably with Heero and without Hilde...
'I'm glad you like it.' She said with a small smile, stroking his long hair, which was unbraided for the time being.
'I love it... I can't believe you found a house so perfect...' He sighed comfortably as she continued stroking his hair, he smiled as he felt her separate the hair in three parts and started to braid it. When done, she took the band that held together her own hair, out and used it to tie Duo's. Now her brown came loose from her ever-lasting knot. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her with her hair down...
'What were you doing?'
'Reading.' He lied, he was fantasizing about Heero.
'Liar.' She said with a gentle voice.
He locked at her with shocked eyes, how did she do that?
'Do you miss him?'
Duo shurgged, he knew she was talking about Heero, who had to leave yesterday because they needed him back at the shop. He wasn't happy to see him leave in times when he liked having him by his side (always) and especially now, when he was so insecure about their relationship. 'Yeah...' he finally answered honestly, he guessed it was okay for her to know that he got a little more than attached to him.
'I'm sure he misses you too.'
Duo chuckled, feeling a little stupid as he confessed: 'When he left I said I would call him, of course only after the plane departured did I realise I didn't have his phonenumber... and he doesn't have mine.'
'You two are more then just friends, aren't you?'
Duo shrugged, looking away 'I don't really know. We did kiss...' He admitted softly, hoping that she would understand and not mind talking about his homosexuality... they have never really talked about it, since his father had banned that word out of the house.
'Maybe it's better this way.' She gave him a comforting kiss on his forehead and left before he had the time to question what she meant with that. He watched her leave and then turned his attention back to the photo's of the house, which she had left with him. He suddenly got this knot in his stomach. He still had to deal with Hilde, she was his sister after all, and even though he hated her guts, he'd have to live with her, since it wasn't wise to leave mom. She needed their support.
He cringed as he thought back of what his mother had told about the way his father treated him. Too bad he didn't get the deathsentence, he would've loved seeing him in that chair... But maybe that would be just an easy way out, now he had many long years to mentally torture himself in a small cell. The downside was that he would be free... one day far from here, but it didn't matter how long, one day he would be free. Who knows what he'll do...
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
'Hilde?' After knocking, but receiving no answer he had tried the door and it had been unlocked, so he stepped inside the hotelroom of his sister. He found her sitting at the edge of the bed, mindlessly watching tv, her eyes dull, her hair a mess and he noticed she wore the same clothing as she did two days ago, during the last trial. She better not feel sorry for that man whom they had once called their father!
'Hilde?' He softly repeated, gently sitting down on the bed as well, about four feet away from her. She didn't even acknowledge his presence and merely kept staring at the screen.
'Are you okay?' He questioned, leaning forward, trying to make out her face.
She suddenly whipped her head in his direction, looking at him almost with the eyes of a mad man. 'Don't act as if you care about me.' She snapped, before facing the tv again.
Duo roleld his eyes, angry with her. 'Don'try to play the victim with me, it might work with your friends, but me and mom have been through more shit then you.' He snapped. He then let out an angry sigh and looked around. Her suitcase was open, but unpacked, dirty clothing was lying about. Surprised he fixed his attention back on his sister as he heard her sobbing brokenly, her back shaking and she brought her hands up to cover her face from sight as she leaned forward. For some reason, call it build-in-sympathy-for-siblings, he felt sorry for her. Carefully he came closer to her, till he was sitting a foot away from her. He reached out his hand and lay it on her trembling back. When she didn't swat it away he softly rubbed her back in a comforting motion, though he really didn't feel as sorry for her as he should. How could he after all? After all she put him through, she should be thankful that he even wanted to touch her. That he even bothered to be a comfort.
He pulled back, startled as she suddenly came up right, looking at him with red and teary eyes.
'I'm sorry!' She said, her lip quivering. 'I'm sorry... I was so jealous of you! It had always been clear that dad loved you more than me, he didn't even notice me! And when... when you came out... I just... I saw my chance... I just wanted him to love me too!'
With a sigh Duo rose from the bed, with a needy look she begged him to stay.
'Please, I know that's no excuse... but just believe me when I say I'm sorry... please?'
Duo shook his head, closing his eyes, he clenched his fists at his side. 'You blamed me for all you did wrong, you lured him out and then diverted the anger at me, you rat me out, you were mean to me... You didn't do that to gain dad's love, you did it to satisfy your perverted mind! He loved you more from the moment I told him... you could've at least had the dignity to be a sister... intead of a bitch.' He knew his words were cruel, but she had tortured him for many years. This was nothing compared to how he had suffered. She just assumed that if she cried a bit and begged for forgiveness that she would immediately get it? Did she expect him to fall into her arms? He gave her one last glare before leaving the room, closing the door to shut out the sound of her sobs. His heart clenched and he was angry with himself for making her cry, but he was too angry with her to care at the moment. They'd talk later, and they'd settle for a silent, distant, companionship. Cause that was all he wanted.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
'That wasn't really nice of you.' His mother commented over breakfast.
They were sitting in the restaurant of the hotel at a neatly set table, just the two of them... Hilde didn't show up, no matter how much his mother had begged and pried.
'Well, what she did to me wasn't really nice either.' He stubbornly said, taking another bite of his omelet.
'Yes, but you are the bigger brother, I expected more maturity from you.'
Duo rolled his eyes 'I'm only one year older then she is.'
His mother sighed, but said no more and they continued to eat quietly till Duo couldn't take it anymore.
'So, at what time does the plane leave?' He said, mouthful of egg.
'Six o'clock, we should be there at five.'
'Okay, then I'd better pack my bags after breakfast...'
The smalltalk was over again and silence reigned, much to Duo's dismay.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
A hectic few hours later found him sitting in the plane that would bring him back home, back to Heero. He felt like such a schoolgirl for missing the Japansese boys presence even only after two days, but he did. Maybe it was because they still had some unsolved business...
When he had been packing his bags, he was surprised when Hilde had suddenly walked into his room and without any pardon or a word said she started to help him clean up after giving him a small sad smile. He had just stared at her in awe for a moment as she picked up one of his shirts from the ground and folded it to put it back in suitcase. They had cleaned up in total silence. A comfortable silence. She had shocked him so much that he thusfar still hadn't spoken to her about it. Now he was sitting in the seat next to the window and looking outside at the earth they were flying over, cities were nothing but grey spots on the suface.
His mother had told him that she had called his uncle back home yesterday and he would arrange that all of their belongings would be brought to their new home, so that they didn't need to worry about that. The first half hour into the flight they had spent talking about how they could decorate the house. Now they were about an hour up in the air and Duo knew they would land soon. The flight to new york he had clocked at 75 mintes.
His fingers tapped on the armrest in the rythm of the music he was listening to as he looked outside, the sun was slowly setting, creating a beautiful lightshow which he couldn't tear his eyes away from as the sky was coloured in first orange and red and then in pink and purple hues.
'Beautiful...' He whispered.
'Did you say anything honey?'
He took took off his headphones, he had heard her say something, but didn't understand. 'What did you say?'
She smiled 'I asked if you said something.'
'Nothing important.' He shrugged, looking back outside. 'Just admiring the view.'
His mother leaned over him so that she too could look out the window. They watched together in silence till the sun had disappeared behind the horizon and the sky was now dark blue. He couldn't see the moon, it must be on the other side, but he could make out millions of stars as it was a clear night.Absentmindedly he looked at his watch and he frowned, he shook his wrist, as if that would change the time on his watch. If he should believe it, they were on the plane for 105 minutes by now. Where they taking a detour? What was going on?
A knot in his stomach, which he always had when he predicted something bad was gonna happen, appeared. Thusfar the knot had never been wrong. The last time he felt it as strongly as now was two years ago, just before he went to bed, the next morning he found Whiskers, his cat, lying dead on the road. She was run over by a car... He didn't feel comfortable remembering that.
'Why haven't we landed yet?' He questioned.
His mother lay down the magazine she had been reading on her lap and gave him a strange look. 'Well, because it's further away.'
Duo could feel his heart starting to pound and his airpipe seemed to narrow, causing less oxygen to be transported to his lungs, so he breather faster.
'What do you mean? What is further away?' Oh god... the stupid knot...
'Our new home of course!' She said with a smile, she kissed his forehead and then returned to her magazine.
Duo averted his eyes back outside and he tried to calm himself down using the exercises his physiotherapist had taught him. While doing that all kind of questiones raced through his mind, almost causing him to black out as he couldn't stop hyperventilating.
'Duo? Duo, honey are you okay?'
He barely registered the worried voice of his mother, he continued looking outside, he was breathing so fast now his lungs didn't even have the time to take in the oxygen.
'Duo? Excuse me, miss!' His mother called for the help of the flight attendant.
Oh god, where was she taking him! Where was this new home? Canada, Europe, Brazille? He'll never see Heero again... Oh no! Heero! He didn't even have his phonenumber to explain it all to him! What must he, Cat and Frankie be thinking if he never came home?
'Duo! Duo!'
'Duo?'
The two voices of Hilde and his mother just made it through to his mind before all went black and the last thing he felt was bumping his head against the inside wall of the plane as he blacked out.
Hmmm... This is actually not all that bad for someone who has a writersblock the size of... well, something big, that's for sure.
Need feedback!
Love ya'll!
Crimson Waterfall
