Just a one-shot. That being said, enjoy, Dick Wolf owns and this will be just a one-shot.

She knew weeks ago that she needed to let go again. Sever all ties, all wants, and she tried. She was determined to forget about their all-encompassing re-introduction to each other. From the moment she saw him again, she knew that she'd been sucked right back into that game she'd spent so many years playing, only to lose again and again. Loving Elliot Stabler. She'd been there so long that she didn't think she'd ever been able to let go. But when he left, suddenly she was free. Miserable, but free, and feeling like her whole world had walked out on her when he did.

What am I going to do without him?

She remembered that she asked herself that question every day and night until she didn't anymore. And by then she had just given up on love and now, she simply focused on raising her son.

But then suddenly, three weeks ago he was back and she couldn't remember the last time she felt so infatuated with anyone; especially someone that she hated. Elliot Fucking Stabler. Maybe hate was too strong a word, but there were so many unresolved feelings!

He'd tried explaining what happened to him, where he'd been all these years but she didn't want to hear it. She had shut out that part of her life- the part where she was the one that cried over him. The part where she'd always forgive and take him back. She couldn't be that woman again and she told herself that she didn't care where he'd been, or what he was doing because whatever his reasons were, there were telephones. Telephones that he never once picked up to let her know that he was okay, much less alive despite the many times she'd called him.

Since then, they'd run into each other coming and going. It was awkward- they'd say a few words to each other, try to keep it light but it was clear that they both wanted to say more and it was heartbreaking for both of them when they'd walk away at the end of their run-ins.

One day against her better judgment, Amanda showed up at her apartment and convinced her to go out. She'd noticed how down Olivia had been for weeks and she wanted more than anything to cheer her up.

"Amanda, I'm fine!"

"You're not. Noah's with Fin for the night and we are going out!"

Olivia had said no until she was blue in the face, but Amanda wasn't buying it. She nearly dragged Olivia off the couch and forced her to change out of her pajamas amidst cries of "I'm tired... I'm not in the mood." And "I think I might be coming down with something..." But Amanda was a trooper. She was determined that Olivia would get out of the house and after forcing her to put on a dress and comb her hair, they went out to Citrus for dinner where, damn her luck, she ran into Elliot who was there for a business dinner with some colleagues.

Looking at Olivia, who now seemed unnerved, Amanda couldn't help but wonder just what went on between the two of them. Fin told her that they'd been partners what seemed like a lifetime ago, but he wouldn't say more, even after he'd almost come to blows with the man. And, now with Olivia trying to sit here and cope miserably with his presence.

"What happened between the two of you?"

Olivia looked up from the wine glass that she was in the process of draining, "What are you talking about?" She drained the glass, turned it straight up, and reached for the bottle to pour another.

"I'm talking about this," Amanda said, referring to the absolute mess that Olivia was becoming. "The train wreck you're becoming before my eyes."

"I'm not," Olivia insisted as she continued to sip.

"We can go," Amanda told Olivia, and maybe Olivia should have listened. With the way Elliot was staring at her from across the room as she was him, this was not a good situation. Elliot downed all of his scotch and she couldn't drink her wine fast enough. They had never run into each other in a casual setting since he'd reappeared and it was painful for them both, though they tried not to let it show. Halfway through dinner, after looking into his eyes yet again, she had to get out of there and quickly got her coat and did just that as her tears threatened to get the best of her.

When she got home she took off the form-fitting, black dress she wore, grabbed a long hot shower where she let out a long, angry cry, and afterward, got into her pajamas. She was about to call it a night, instead, there was an urgent knock on the door and thinking that it was Amanda, she quickly went and opened it, nearly dying when she saw the person on the other side.

"Elliot?!"

Not another word was said as he made his way in, grabbing her to plant his lips firmly against hers as he slammed the door with his foot and put her back against the wall without breaking their kiss. Instead, it got deeper, his tongue pushing against her mouth, quickly gaining entrance. He devoured her with his kiss and she tasted incredibly sweet, so soft, and familiar like she'd belonged there forever. As her legs wrapped around his waist and she held him, her own mouth seeking him out and grabbing his shortly cropped hair. He bared her neck for his mouth where he kissed, making a mark but not caring. Tonight she was his and he was hers.

"S-stop…" she whispered, barely as he kept kissing. She was already lost in the feel of him, the way he smelled subtly of sandalwood, and his lips tasted like brandy. Her body screamed at her to keep going, to get more of this man she so adored, but when she felt his hand slide under her shirt, and work it's way up towards her breast, she snapped out of her lust.

"Elliot, stop. We have to stop!" She demanded, pushing him away as she stood on wobbly legs. She wanted him more than anything else but she also hadn't let go of hating him. That word again. Damn him!

"I need you!"

A slap to his face helped to ease her nerves, and she hit him hard, leaving him rubbing his jaw.

"What the hell was that for?"

"Ten years Elliot! You were gone ten fucking years!" She cried as she stood facing him, crossing her arms over her chest. She suddenly felt so vulnerable in front of him. Like he could see right through her.

"And I can't change that. No matter how much I may want to, and I do, Olivia. I want to go back all those years and change how I handled things. I want to have not been an asshole and answered your calls and been there for you when you needed me, but I can't, Liv. I can't change the past. But I'm asking you, I'm begging you now to forgive me."

"You son of a bitch!"

"Liv, I was a fool to think that I could run away from the way I've always felt. But I love you, and I'm not torn anymore."

"You don't get to say that, damn you! Where was that love when I called you a million times, leaving you voicemail after voicemail-"

"You're right, and I have no excuse,"

"You're damn right you don't. Do you know how much you hurt me, how you broke me by just walking away?"

"I never meant-"

"My God, Elliot, cut the shit. I'm not gonna make this easy for you,"

"So tell me what can I say?"

"It's not that simple,"

"It is that simple. Tell me that that kiss we just shared between us didn't mean anything. You can't, anymore than I can lie to you because I love you, I never stopped, and trying to live without you, trying to ignore my heart when it's been screaming at me every single day since I left you."

She sat down on the sofa. Here he was saying everything that she'd always dreamt of hearing. Offering himself to her if she'd have him but so much had changed in the years since he'd been gone.

"Liv, you can't push me away," he said as he got down in front of her. "Liv. I want...this, I want you." He held her hand and looked into her beautiful brown eyes as she caught his blues.

This wouldn't work! She thought as he stroked the soft skin of the back of her hand with his thumb. What if this was fate trying to intervene on her behalf? But she couldn't; could she? She didn't know him anymore. So much can change in ten years. And she did have Noah to think about. The truth was, if she let Elliot in again and down the line, for whatever reason, he walked away again, she didn't think she would have the strength to pick herself up a second time and she wouldn't do that to her son.

Elliot was here, in front of her. Everything she'd ever wanted. She still felt anger at him. That hadn't left. But she was-

"Liv, will you give me a chance?"

"Have you left her?"

"What?"

"Kathy. Are you still with her? Cuz if you are, then walk out that door regardless of what I say, because-"

"We're done, Liv. That's what I've tried so hard to tell you, It's over between me and Kathy; three years now. I tried but I couldn't make it work."

"Why?"

"Because of you!" He said, being totally honest and by the look on her face, she wasn't expecting it. "I tried to fix us, but everytime there you were. In museums, in cafés, walking along the piazza… I'd hear your voice everywhere, see your face; I'd even dream of you practically every night. Eventually it made me realize that it didn't make sense trying to hold on to someone who wasn't you."

"You thought of me?"

"Like crazy! But then I realized that I couldn't just pop up and come back to you, you'd gone on with your life, what if you didn't feel that same way about me anymore?"

"Over thirty six hundred days and I never stopped. As hard as I tried…I guess it's why I couldn't make any relationship work; my heart still wanted my best friend."

That's when he crossed the space between them, took her in his arms and kissed her. He kissed her long, slow, and full of passion until finally she raised her hands to cup his that were holding her face and she broke their kiss.

Fin