Hey yall. Sorry that this chapter kept getting updated but the site was having problems when I was trying to update it. So I ended taking the chapter off for awhile. I finally fixed it, so HERE IT IS!
This chapter was a big pain to write. I mean I liked writing it, but I wrote this really good chapter. I had done 6 pages so far when the power went off! It came back on after about a minute, but I realized I hadn't saved any of it! I remembered I had copied it, but the computer lost that too! I am still really mad about that. It took me awhile to write that, revise, write and revise some more. It may not seem like it takes that long to write, but I like to read over my work and revise it a lot. Sorry, I just had to vent about that. I tried to make it as close as I could remember what had been written before, so hope you like it.
This chapter brightens up a bit, since it's mostly a Tomoyo chapter. In the beginning it's about Sakura, but then it becomes all about Tomoyo. I figured you guys needed a happier chapter, so here it is!
Oh, by the way. I decided to make everyone 13 and in 7th grade. They are still in elementary school though, it's one of those elementary schools that have 7th graders and the high school has 8th graders.
Disclaimer:
"HI EVERYBODY! I'm Clamp, and I own CCS! Which is why I'm
selling CCS books to everyone!"
(FBI
dude comes up) "Are you the one who has been reported selling
CCS books illegally on the street and claiming that you're Clamp?"
"Umm,
no sir!" Hides books behind her back.
FBI
dude pulls books that she's hiding, "Then what are THESE!"
"Uh,
your imagination?"
"You're
going to jail!"
"Noooo!
Please don't take me to jail!", sigh, "I hope they have
computers in jail..."
THANK YOU TO MY EDITOR Shaaarona! My other editor Muffinizer couldn't edit the chapter because her computer broke.
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Broken
Dreams
By:
Ashieyu
What if hope was just a broken dream?
What if there
wasn't anything that you wanted to be?
What if the only thing you
had was yourself?
What if you just wanted to die?
What if you
couldn't even bring yourself to cry?
What if the whole world
seemed against you?
What if there wasn't anyone to save you?
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Recap
from the last chapter:
Tomoyo,
you mean you two know each other?" the boy asked curiously.
"Yeah, actually I do." She broke out of the trance and straightened herself.
I wonder who that boy is? I also want to know why Tomoyo and him were out here in the garden, alone.
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"I'm surprised you're out here Sakura," Tomoyo said to me.
"Yeah, well I didn't feel like facing any people at the moment," I tried to hide my red eyes from her.
The
boy who was with Tomoyo looked at me then nudged her.
"Oh,
right. Sakura this is Eriol, Eriol this is Sakura," Tomoyo
replied, still in a state of shock from seeing me here.
"Nice to meet you Sakura," he said.
I glared at him since he was the one who had found me and interrupted my thoughts.
"Well, enough with the introductions. We need to be going now Eriol. Bye Sakura!" She said in a hurried tone.
It was almost like she was hiding something from me. But I hide everything from her, so I shouldn't blame her for having secrets. That would just be hypocrisy, and even with all things that I do and think that are wrong...I don't want to be a hypocrite. That's the worst kind of lowness.
"Bye," I whispered. It was said mostly to myself as I watched Tomoyo hurry away from my watching eyes, pulling the boy along with her.
Eriol,
she said his name was. What a strange name, yet he was strange
himself, so I guess it fits him. The strange thing was, Tomoyo seemed
worried that I saw Eriol. The other thing is, I don't think I've seen
him before. Maybe he goes to another school? Maybe he was just a
friend, and they were just having a conversation...but maybe it was
something more than just a conversation between friends? I scoffed at
that thought, Tomoyo with a boyfriend that nobody knew about? Yeah
right. The minute anyone popular has a boyfriend the whole school
knows about it.
I
got up from where I was sitting and walked through the pathways just
admiring the flowers. I didn't want to go and face all those people.
Having them ask me all those questions like, "What was it like
seeing your mother asleep and not being able to wake her up? Must've
been absolutely dreadful
my dear. I'm so sorry for the loss of your wonderful mother."
Yes, like I really want to go and listen to more of that.
I just feel like being swallowed up by the ground, never to return. But, I'm sure that is sure to happen. At the edge of the park grass being blown softly by the wind, I saw a cherry blossom tree. How I love those trees. When I was little I used to twirl around under them, with the wind blowing the blossoms off of the trees. All the petals would surround me like they were joining my dance, and the wind would blow through my hair. I would be covered with petals, but they seemed to suit me. Yet, I'm sure all little girls think they look pretty with petals in their hair. Those trees were always there for me. For me to climb on, give me shade, let me make crowns out of their blossoms. You might think it's corny for me to love those trees just because of my name, but that's not why I love them so much. If you just look at one, they have this majestic beauty about them, and they look so radiant under the sunlight. Yet, maybe this is all just part of a little girl's overactive imagination. So when I saw the tree, I knew it was the perfect place to just sit under and get hold of my thoughts.
I walked towards it remembering times from when I was a child. I sat under it remembering old times, times when I was actually loved. Tomoyo wants me to tell her why I've become this way. But I've said this before, I don't fully trust her. Now that she's become popular, I'm finding it even harder to trust her. I'm finding it harder to have her as a friend, because I thought she was different. She doesn't notice that anything is different between us, at least she hasn't mentioned anything. She had said that we could become closer friends if only I would tell her why I've become so lost in my life. But it ended up in a fight, because when she had said that to me, it set me off. I had started yelling about how she would never be able to understand me. I told her that she hasn't ever lost someone important to her, she's always had a perfect life. Even if I did tell her, she wouldn't understand. But I've decided that someday I will tell someone.
Someday I will find that person who I can tell. That person I can tell every secret that I hold in my being. That person that I trust enough to tell will know every thought, feeling, and secret that I know. But even though Tomoyo wants to be that person, she never will be. There will only be ONE person that I will ever tell, and that person will either be my best friend that I trust with all my heart and soul, or my husband if I ever do get married. Tomoyo is my friend, but I can tell from just knowing her that she's not that person. So, I'll wait, I'll wait until I meet this person and until I know that they are truly the one who should know. They need to be strong enough and love me enough to know; otherwise, I'm sure they'll just leave. I mean just look at what it did to me. So, for now nobody will know but me.
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Tomoyo POV
"Tomoyo, if you want to make yourself more popular, you've just got to stop hanging out with that dreadful girl. What's her name again? Oh yeah...Sakura." Katrina, the head of the popular girls drawled out with disgust in her voice.
"But...she's my friend," I replied timidly.
"Well, if you want to stay friends with us, you've got to ditch her." Katrina started applying more makeup. (AN: I can just imagine this girl with a face caked with makeup and putting on more. Lol.)
What am I going to do? I want to stay friends with Sakura, and I really want to be able to help her. But, at the same time I want to stay popular.
"Ok," I replied quietly.
"Also, did you dump that gay guy, Eriol, like I told you to?" She asked with that voice of hers that sounded so superior.
"Well, I wasn't actually going out with him, he's just a friend. Anyway he's straight." I replied in a voice that was so quiet I could barely hear myself.
Katrina laughed at that, "Even if he is straight, he wouldn't get a girlfriend looking as gay as he does."
"Well, even if you aren't going out with him, you have to ditch him as soon as possible. You wouldn't want anyone to see you with him. You wouldn't want to ruin your reputation, now would you?" Katrina said, raising one eyebrow at me.
"No, I wouldn't." I agreed quietly.
"Good. Now I better be going, my limo is probably waiting for me. Tata!" She giggled in a way that makes you just want to smack her, which she thinks is 'sexy'.
God what is the world coming to?
I started walking towards the park, the place where doom is waiting for me. I don't want to go, I'm regretting telling Katrina that I would ditch Eriol.
Oh my god, what have I done? What have I done? I think I'm gonna start hyperventilating.
Breathe TomoyoBreathe. Just calm down!
HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BREATHE WHEN I HAVE TO DITCH ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS WHO I ALSO HAVE A CRUSH ON!
Well, that's your own fault. You just HAD to become popular. I thought it was a bad idea, but did anyone pay attention to me? Nooooooo, nobody listens to me.
Whatever. You're just a dork, that's why nobody listens to you.
You're so childish.
I am NOT childish! If I'm childish then YOU'RE childish. I mean we are the same person, both of us are Tomoyo.
Don't you dare insult me by saying I'm the same as you. I'm the smart one.
Nuh-uh! I'm just as smart as YOU are, bleh to you! (AN: Sorry I always say that when I'm being weird. I'm always like, well bleh to you! Ya...not that you really needed to know that)
See, you ARE childish.
NO I'M NOT, YOU'RE JUST A STUPID MEANIE!
Whatever, this argument is stupid anyway.
Well, YOU'RE stupid! So there! HA, bet you can't beat that!
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Narrator POV
At that moment Tomoyo began screaming with frustration. Ironically Eriol had seen her and was about to greet her at the same moment, which she hadn't noticed being too occupied listening to the voices in her head.
After Tomoyo finished screaming she noticed Eriol in front of her looking pretty scared.
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Tomoyo POV
Oh my gosh! What have I done? Now he probably thinks I'm a total nutjob! WAAHHHH! Can things get any worse?
Yes, things can always get worse. Usually when you don't want anything else to go wrong, something does.
Also, when you ask, 'Can things get any worse?' , you end up jinxing yourself.
Of course NOW you two agree. Stop making me feel worse than I already feel! This is your guys' fault in the first place.
Hey, don't put the blame on us.
We weren't the ones that told Katrina we'd ditch Eriol in the first place.
"STOP IT! JUST SHUT UP! ERGGHHHH!" I screamed, not realizing I had said that out loud.
"Umm, maybe this is a bad time for you. We can always meet later," Eriol said, looking like he wanted to run away from the psycho.
"Oh, no don't worry I'm fine. I was just annoyed with the voi- never mind. Anyway, today is fine to meet up," I said, worried that Eriol had caught my slip-up about the annoying voices in my head.
"Ok...I mean if you're sure that you're alright," Eriol said, now just looking concerned.
"Yup. I'm fine." I replied.
"OH! I just remembered, I brought along some snacks for us to have!" I said excitedly, momentarily forgetting what I had to do.
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After they ate
(AN: Tomoyo still hasn't remembered that she has to ditch Eriol)
"That was great Tomoyo. Did you make it yourself?" Eriol asked me.
"Thanks. Yeah, I made it myself. Cook gave me a cooking lesson, since I asked him." I replied, happy that Eriol liked my cooking. (AN: She's rich remember. She doesn't really act like a rich girl, but she still has a maid and cook like a lot of really rich people.)
"That's cool." He said.
silence
Damn it! I forgot that Katrina said I had to ditch Eriol. God this is about as hard as pulling off my own arm.
"Um, I was thinking..." We both said at the same time.
"Oh, sorry! You can go first." I said.
"Ok. Well, we've known each other for awhile, right?" He asked.
"Yeah. Ever since we met at the park," I replied.
"Well, we've been friends for awhile like I've said. I was thinking...IlikeyoumorethanafriendTomoyosowouldyougooutwithme?" He said, looking very nervous while blushing madly.
"Uh, would you mind repeating that? You said it so fast that I couldn't understand you," After I said that, he became redder, which seemed physically impossible.
"We've been friends for awhile but I like you more than a friend, so would you go out with me? But if you don't feel the same way, then I understand." He said, looking as if he might die if I said no.
What should I do? I never expected him to ask THAT! I told Katrina that I'd ditch him, yet I like him more than a friend, too. Why oh why does Katrina have to think he's gay?
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I
must now interrupt this chapter for a short break
(AN:
Sorry, but I felt I needed to put this in before I forgot.)
Informational
Break:
School
"Hey Tomoyo! What's up girl?" Katrina and her posse came up to Tomoyo.
"Not much. Well...I did meet this really sweet guy at the park during the weekend." Tomoyo replied.
"Oh, what's his name and what school does he go to?" Katrina asked, suddenly interested.
What Tomoyo didn't know was that Katrina didn't really care that Tomoyo got along with this guy really well. The only reason Katrina asked was that if this guy was hot, she wanted him for herself. Nobody got a hot guy before Katrina got him, since no guy can resist her good looks. Well, at least that's how she sees it.
"Well, his name is
Eriol, and he goes to Northcreek," Tomoyo replied excitedly.
(AN: Sorry about the dumb name, couldn't come up with anything.)
"Oh really. We've played a few games against them, and they're good." Katrina said, remembering that most guys from there were really hot.
"Do you think I could meet him sometime?" Katrina asked, knowing that Tomoyo wouldn't turn her down.
"I guess if you want to," Tomoyo said, not wanting to get Katrina mad.
"Good," Katrina replied, smiling her devious smile.
Which is how Katrina met Eriol and dubbed him 'gay'.
Now back to the chapter!
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Forget Katrina, I like him and I'm not going to let her get in the way. This is MY life, not hers.
"Sure I'd go out with you," I smiled at him.
"Great!" He said while looking greatly relieved.
"So, would you like to go and do something tomorrow after school?" He asked.
"Sure," I smiled at him, again.
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Narrator
POV
But
while Tomoyo agreed to this arrangement, she had forgotten something.
She had forgotten how she promised Sakura to help her with her math
after school. The bad part was she wouldn't be able to help Sakura
later on either, her family was going out to dinner for her aunt's
birthday that night.
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Tomoyo
POV
Ok,
I said I'd go out with him. But how am I going to keep this from
Katrina? Well, I guess she wouldn't find out if I didn't tell her...
Yeah! That'll work! Way to go Tomoyo!
"Well,
I better be heading home. I have homework I need to work on. See you
tomorrow!" Eriol said before heading home.
"Bye!" I replied, and started home too.
Wow, I'm going out on a date with Eriol. WHAT WILL I WEAR!
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Tomoyo's
Mansion
"Hey,
I'm home!" I yelled as I walked into the house.
The maid, Shinoko, came up to me, "Would you like me to take your coat and backpack?"
"Sure, here ya go," I said, handing her my things.
"If my parents want to know where I am, I'll be in my room," I said starting towards the long winding stairs.
"Sure thing Miss Tomoyo," she replied.
I walked to my room and just crashed on my bed.
"Ugghhh, today's been hard," I said to myself.
Wait!
I just forgot...they said I had to stop hanging out with Sakura,
too! What am I going to do? I can't just avoid telling Katrina like
I'm doing about Eriol since she goes to the same school as me. What
am I going to do? She's the first friend I made when I came, and I
think I'm the first friend she's had in a long time.
"God
what a mess I've made of my life," I said to myself.
"Sometimes, I just want to give up on everything. It doesn't seem like others have to go through anything like this," I said while sighing.
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So, how was it? I wrote this all in one day instead of writing a little bit every couple of days like I usually do. Also, it might be kinda weird because I was hyper from eating chocolate and being tired. Do you ever get all hyper and wacky late at night while eating sugar? I dunno, I know I do and my friend Audrey does. But maybe we're the only ones...
PLEASE REVIEW! Reviews make me happy and more inclined to write. If I'm inclined to write then you guys get a chapter faster. So everybody's happy! Which is why reviewing is GOOD to do! Don't you just want to review? (Please?)
