Chapter One

Thinking Back

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. I do however, own my comp to type it. (even though it took 6 computers to actually finish it)

I am happy to say that this fic is no longer a one-shot. Due to everyone who enjoyed this fic and asked for a continuation, I've decided to post an update to show my appreciation and give you guys what you asked for... Now on to the fic!


The Titans all watched from afar as the bomb exploded inside the empath's shield. Bookshelves shook violently as the contained blast lapped at the ground beneath it, tearing through wood and concrete in an attempt to free itself from the half demon's confines. The black dome expanded in size and slowly began to crack under the massive pressure, eliciting a gasp from the entire team.

"I can't hold it anymore!" Raven gasped as hergrip faltered and the remaining power blew the dome apart. Fire and shrapnel flew out with unbridled fury, causing all the windows in the library to shatter, and any bookshelves that were still standing to be thrown back with locomotive-like force, the Titans going with them. Raven, having been closest to the explosion, was catapulted into a nearby marble pillar. The force of the impact shattered the stone, and only slowed her momentum as she burst through the other side and ricocheted off the far wall before slamming into the ground.

"Friend Raven?"

Raven looked up towards the source of her disturbance in irritation, "What?" She snapped, before instantly regretting it. She dropped her gaze from Starfire's hurt expression and returned her attention to her shoes that were poking out of her cloak. For most people, an apology would be given for such an outburst, but Raven was not 'most people'. Instead of an 'I'm sorry, she merely repeated her question without the icy undertone.

Brushing a strand of hair out of her face, Starfire crouched down and placed a hand on her friend's arm, "I came at this time to see if you required companionship during such an hour of intense emotional suffering." Upon receiving no reply, she leaned in close, placing her shoulder in Raven's view. "Are you in need of the shoulder in which to weep? I will gladly lend you mine."

Raven sighed, "I'm fine." She did not feel like correcting any grammatical errors today.

"Very well."

She could tell that her words, or lack thereof, hurt Starfire deeply without even looking up. It didn't take an empath to sense the pain in those two simple words. She felt the hand leave her arm and watched the alien get up from her peripheral vision. Again she was left with her own thoughts.

"Why do you wish to experience the heartache of his passing alone?"

Or not. "I don't do grief."

"But is that not what you are performing at the moment?"

Raven finally had just about all she could take. She quickly stood up and gave Starfire a glare saved only for the vilest of criminals. "Listen, I don't need you, Cyborg, Robin, or anyone else sticking their noses in my business. I don't have any regrets, and crying won't do anything."

The lights in the hall flickered and exploded, showering the two girls in glass. "But I did not..." Starfire started, but Raven ignored her and continued.

"Death happens and there's nothing we can do about it. BeastBoy's dead. Life goes on. Deal with it." She then turned on the ball of her foot and walked off, leaving Starfire behind in shock. Those were probably the worst things she could possibly say, and the biggest lies she had ever spoken, but right now she needed to be alone.

For a while Raven wandered the halls with no destination in mind, though she did find herself heading towards his room on several occasions. It's not like she was trying to avoid it, but she figured Star needed some time to herself. Finally deciding on the roof, she made her way up the long staircase and opened the door at the top. Once there, she levitated herself into the lotus position and began to search for her center.

The dust had just begun to settle as two massive green fists ripped through a decimated bookshelf. BeastBoy, currently in the form of a gorilla, tore the broken object in two and proceeded to climb out of the destruction. After changing back, he grabbed his head and groaned. Several scratches littered his face, and his uniform was torn in places. He looked around to see a blue energy beam rip through a nearby mountain of wood and paper followed by a few strings of profanity. He poked his head into the hole. "Hey Cy! You okay in there?"

"Do I look ok to you!" Cyborg shouted back, though no anger in his voice was directed at the changeling.

'Wonder why he's so ticked off.' He wondered. It didn't look like anything was wrong with...

"I have located Friend Cyborg's arm! Where is the rest of him?"

'There's one question answered.' "Hey Star!" He waved at the orange skinned girl, "Cy's down here, and it looks like he could use a hand!"

"Ha. Ha."

Starfire came flying down from the ceiling with Cy's arm in hand. After pulling him out of the books and returning him his lost appendage, she looked around slightly worried, "Where is the child,Robin, and friend Raven?"

Cyborg checked his radar, then pointed behind BeastBoy. "Raven's signal is coming from that direction while Robin and another lifesign," He looked up and blinked as his best friend ran off before he could finish, "Is this way." He gave a look of confusion to Starfire, who only shrugged in return.


"Raven!" BeastBoy slowly walked through the destruction, searching carefully for his lost teammate. "Rae!" 'C'mon! Where are you?' He caught a strange scent in the air that wasn't there before. The scent of blood.

Raven's blood.

Its odor was so strong that he didn't even need to change form to follow it easily. He doubled his pace as the smell grew overpowering, his panic rising. The next thing he saw caused his heart to skip a beat, "Oh man, Raven!" She was laying on her back in a semi-clear area only about twenty feet from him. The hardwood floor below her was smashed and splintered, most likely digging wood fragments into her skin, and her normally blue cape was now stained almost black from blood loss.

He dashed towards the fallen Titan, only to trip on one of the many books scattered about and fall flat on his face. He was back on his feet in an instant, and finally made it to her side. "Raven?" He knelt down and placed a gloved hand on her cheek. He dared not move her, fearing that he might injure her further. "Rae? Can you hear me?"

"...Unfortunately, yes." Raven mumbled.

BeastBoy let out a sigh of relief before chuckling slightly, "Good, cause you're way too young for hearing aides." His concern quickly replaced his (bad) humor. "Can you move?"

The empath winced at the mere thought of getting up. "Capable, yes... Do I want to? No." The pain was unbearable. Plain and simple, and there was no way she was going anywhere without help.

The sound of shifting rubble caused the changeling to divert his attention to the surrounding area. Cyborg and Starfire were currently lifting the remnants of the marble pillar off a set of bookshelves where Robin and the child were apparentlyburied. After successfully pulling the two from their confines and checking them over, the half man quickly made his way towards his other teammates. "Kay B, I'm gonna need some room."

BeastBoy nodded and stepped aside. "Is she gonna be okay?" He asked worriedly.

Cyborg shrugged slightly as he began scanning her, his expression neutral. "Don't know, but I'll give you the 411 when I find out."

At that, the green teen was shooed away by a cybernetic hand and pushed towards Starfire and Robin. He quickly took that moment to check up on the Boy Wonder and his charge. "So... how's the squirt?" For some reason, he just didn't like the kid. There was something strange about him that he didn't trust...

Robin scowled slightly, snapping BeastBoy out of his thoughts. "He's unconscious right now, but he'll be okay." Apparently he was still furious about Slade's idea of using a kid as bait to blow them up.

"Well?" The three turned their attention to Raven's weak voice. "Am I going to die or what?"

"You took one heck of a beating, but I'm pretty sure you'll live." Cyborg smiled as Robin, Starfire, and BeastBoy gathered around their fallen comrade. "I'm gonna give you something for the pain." A small compartment opened on his arm revealing all the supplies you'd see in an emergency med kit, plus a few more.

"Raven..."

"You gave us... heck of a..." Raven felt her consciousness fading as Cyborg injected a painkiller into her shoulder. The last thing she heard before slipping into darkness was the clapping of gloved hands across the room, and a smooth voice that forever would send chills down her spine.

"Well done Titans..."

"Azarath... Metrion... Zinthos..." Raven felt herself lightly touch the cold concrete as she slowly fell out of her trance. She opened her violet eyes and found herself staring at a massive darkening blue sky. How long had it been? It was barely past lunchtime when she started, and now the sun had almost completely set. But something was off. She looked down at her pale hands, trying to decipher the strange feeling. Usually, she'd feel refreshed such a long meditation. After all, the longer she meditated, the more balanced her emotions became. But this time, she felt... different.

She phased through the floor and dropped to the ground by the common room entrance. As she reached for the panel, the entire door began glowing black. Her eyes widened slightly, 'This can't be happening.' She scrunched her eyes shut and doubled over as an intense surge of power caused the door to literally begin folding in on itself. The hydraulics screeched under the massive strain and eventually exploded, sending the remnants of the door flying through the common room at over a hundred miles per hour, straight through the big screen TV and out the window.

Raven stood at the entrance panting from the exertion, a thin layer of sweat covering her face. 'I meditated for almost eight hours straight. I should be in complete control.'

Raven suddenly found herself yanked off her feet by the front of her cloak and slammed against the opposing wall. She jerked her head up and found herself face-to-face with a very angry Tameranian. "You are finished with your meditation, yes?" Despite her friendly voice, her eyes glowed brightly in fury.

"What? Starfire, put me down."

"No, I will not." Starfire lifted her slightly higher in emphasis. "Not until you answer my question. Do you consider yourself to be a friend of BeastBoy?"

"Ok, yes. He was my friend."

"Clorbag!" She slammed her against the metal wall again, causing Raven to wince. It wasn't enough to seriously injure her, but she already had a headache to begin with. "How can you truthfully say that he was your friend?"

"Starfire, I—"

"I have done the listening to you. Now you will do the same for me!" Raven, though internally shocked, could feel her anger beginning to rise, but she quickly forced it down, allowing her friend to continue, "What have you done that was not harmful to him? You did the putting of him down, whether it be to insult his intelligence, or to criticize his performing of the bad jokes, and you have even been known to inflict physical pain in several occasions!" The glow faded from Starfire's eyes, and soon glistening tears replaced them, flowing down her face before plummeting to the carpet below. Yet somehow her glare never wavered. "I will ask again. How could you call him your friend?"

Those words somehow caused Raven's chest to tighten as her heart wrenched in pain. "He never took me seriously, Star. It was just..." She searched her mind for the right word, trying desperately not to anger the Tameranian any further. "... a type of banter we always had. It was never meant to hurt either one of us." The feeling she had after her meditation seeped in as she spoke which slowly started to break through her normal monotone, giving it a more depressed sound. "And... I never really meant... to... hurt him..."

Her words broke up as it finally hit her. The horrible feeling after meditation, the memories that filled her mind while in her trance, and the time she nearly blew the Tower off its foundations after waking up and hearing the news. The devastation of hearing those words...

She felt no different from the time she was told of BeastBoy's death.

So caught up in her realization, she didn't notice Starfire let go of her cloak, nor did she hear the sound of Robin's voice yelling at his teammate. She just sat there staring ahead, yet seeing at nothing at all.

"You believe that you are alone, yet you are not." She raised her eyes to Starfire's face in surprise. "That is what he said to you, was it not? Perhaps you should consider his words." With that said, she followed Robin out of the common room.


I hope you enjoyed it. Please R&R! Your reviews are what keepsmegoing, so please tell me how you feel. I even accept flames. (But I do prefer compliments a little more)