Title: Dizzy

Author: Hawk Clowd

Disclaimer: So far as I know, I own nothing. Gravitation belongs to Maki Murakami and I wouldn't take it away from her for anything in the world. I just like to play.

Blood Type: Something flammable -- times two! -- simply because you could light a match and both Ryuichi and Tatsuha would be on fire.

Warnings: Very few.

Part: Seven

Author's Note: I love Tohma. I know a lot of people aren't overly fond of the man, given his unexplained fascination and adoration for Eiri, his sadistic tendencies, and his truly unique taste in clothing, but I do love him. Which isn't to say that I don't find Tohma creepy -- I do. How could you not? Because of that lovely conflict in his character, this chapter is dedicated to Tohma. And, you know, to anyone who bothers to read this disclaimer, since as much as I love Tohma, I adore you all even more. Honest. Even better? You're probably less likely to push me in front of a car (...because you're all far too original for that, right?).

Note Edit: Given recent circumstances in the real world, I am re-dedicating this chapter (and, really, this entire fic). This story is for Bates, who probably would cringe if he knew what I was writing about. We miss you, man.

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After several hours of walking, Tatsuha eventually found the Seguchi estate. Tired, hungry, hot, and well aware that Eiri lived as far away from Tohma and Mika as he possibly could without leaving the Tokyo city limits, Tatsuha decided to take a break from his walk and knocked on the front door. The maid -- Tatsuha could never remember her name since he was always too horrified by the fact that they had a maid in the first place -- opened the door on the second knock. She seemed surprised to see him but got over it quickly.

"Uesugi-san," she murmured, dipping in a slight bow. Her long hair fell over her shoulders. "I did not know you were coming to visit today."

"Neither did I," Tatsuha answered. He stepped inside. If he could give the maid with no name the slip, he could sneak into the kitchen to refresh his energy supply, take a quick rest, and be back on his way. All he had to do was --

"Tatsuha-kun," said a voice from the stairwell. "What a pleasant surprise."

-- get past Tohma. Shit. That hadn't worked exactly as planned.

Tatsuha feigned a smile. "Hi! I was just... uh... on my way somewhere else and thought I'd pop in and say hello, so... hello!"

"Hello," Tohma answered. A smile quirked on his lips. "I thought you were still in Kyoto with your sister, else I would have come to visit you. You're staying with Eiri-san while you're here?"

There was no use lying about it. "Yes," Tatsuha admitted. Tohma came forward and took Tatsuha's arm, leading him out of the main hallway and into the depths of the Seguchi estate. Tatsuha resisted the urge to look around; he had not been in this place for years and didn't particularly want to look as though he were interested, for fear Tohma would notice and have him stay longer.

"I missed your graduation," Tohma said cheerily. "I'm sure you understand why. I was unavoidably detained. Business as usual, you see."

"Ahuh."

Tohma went on guiding Tatsuha deeper into the house. 'I'm sure you've heard it many times already, but congratulations. Mika-san told me you are the only one of the three of you to graduate high school." Tohma shook his head. "Amazing."

Tohma opened a door into a room that looked eerily similar to his office at NG Studio, except for a few extra homey touches. A large wooden desk sat in front of a large window with potted plants on either side. The walls were decorated with some framed, signed posters and a few simple pictures. There was a keyboard perched on a stand over in one corner of the room and opposite that, in the corner to Tatsuha's right as he walked into the room, there set a small couch with a few pillows and a blanket thrown over top of them. It was a nice room. Tatsuha was surprised by the lack of fire and brimstone.

Tohma sat in the black leather chair behind his desk and gestured for Tatsuha to sit in the office chair on the other side of the wooden barrier. Tatsuha didn't dare do otherwise.

"Since you're in Tokyo, would it be safe to assume you have discovered Sakuma-san's new... friend?" Tohma asked, his hands folded serenely on the desk in front of him.

"The model?"

"Alison, yes," Tohma said. He stumbled over the syllables of the model's name just slightly. "She's a lovely woman, as I'm sure you've realized."

Tatsuha nodded sullenly. He had a feeling he knew where this was going.

"I guess you're going to warn me to keep away from the happy couple, huh?" Tatsuha asked. "You don't want me to get in the way."

"Actually, I --"

"Well, you don't have anything to worry about," Tatsuha interrupted. "I'm not going to waste my time on that. I've got to grow up and let the dream die, right? Sakuma Ryuichi and I don't want the same things and so it's better for everyone if I let him stay with the model toys and go back to Kyoto and pretend I never even heard of him. I know that would be better, even --"

"Tatsuha-kun."

"-- if I don't want it to be true and I think I'll be miserable and --"

"Tatsuha-kun."

"-- and I don't really think that he's happy with who he is when he's with her and --"

"Tatsuha-kun!"

Tatsuha stopped and frowned. "What?"

Tohma quirked an eyebrow. "I was actually going to tell you I don't believe Alison is good for Ryuichi and perhaps imply that you should make an attempt at breaking the two apart, in exchange for my not meddling in your affairs now or in the future," Tohma said. "I would have considered it a favor."

"Oh."

"I'm almost relieved to be able to say that bluntly," Tohma said cheerfully, leaning forward to prop his elbows up on the desk and clasp his hands together under his chin. "It's quite a change from the normal procedure."

Tatsuha was quiet for a moment. "You want me to get together with Sakuma-san? You actually want me to do it?"

"It's unusual, I know," Tohma said. "Useless, I suppose, since you already decided to let that dream of yours go. I wasn't expecting you to give up so easily."

Tatsuha stayed quiet.

"You have been obsessed with Ryuichi-san since you were a child," Tohma mused. "Now you have a chance at getting him and you turn your nose up at it. Why is that?"

"It's none of your business," Tatsuha snapped.

"Of course it isn't," Tohma agreed. "Forgive my curiosity, will you?"

Tatsuha offered his brother-in-law a stony silence.

"I see." Tohma answered the silence with a wry smile. "May I offer a few theories of my own, since you don't care to answer my questions?"

"Knock yourself out."

Tohma nodded and settled back in his chair. "Perhaps," he began, carefully deliberating each word, "you think Ryuichi-san less appealing now that the only obstacle between you is a woman?"

Tatsuha balked, just slightly. "Of course not!"

"No?" Tohma asked. He nodded. "All right. Then perhaps you don't want the woman hurt during the inevitable breakup, but I doubt that." Tohma paused and considered Tatsuha. "No, I know what it is." He leaned forward again. "You think you'll be at his beck and call, at least until he grows bored with you and your company. Then you believe he will find someone new and you'll be tossed aside and forgotten." Tohma's smile never wavered. "Am I right?"

Tatsuha tried not to cringe, but Tohma spotted something -- the slight surprise in Tatsuha's eyes, perhaps, or some new tightness in his stance -- and nodded his head once.

"I am right," Tohma said, nodding his head. "I thought I was."

Tatsuha said nothing.

Tohma sighed. "I knew it. Why is it that everyone about to get into a relationship with a celebrity thinks too much about his -- or her -- situation?"

"What do you mean?" Tatsuha asked, curious in spite of himself.

"Your suspicions are hardly new ones," Tohma said. "I've heard them before -- from you, from your sister, from Ukai-san, and many, many others. In some instances, that suspicion proves to be true. There are a few celebrities who throw away people as though they were nothing. Conversely, in other cases the celebrities realize that they are just as human as the other party in question and do no such thing. It's a risk people take when they get involved with someone a little bit famous." Tohma's lips quirked. "For that matter, it's a risk everyone takes upon beginning any new relationship. You --"

Tatsuha started to say something, but Tohma quickly cut him off.

"You are right to suspect that Ryuichi-san may toy with you and then toss you aside," Tohma said. "But, taking both his history and your own into consideration, I think your track record is far more worrisome than his. Perhaps he has more right to be concerned than you do."

"He put you up to this," Tatsuha accused. "He tells you everything, doesn't he? He must have called you after I left and --"

"You are a very suspicious person, Tatsuha-kun." Tohma pressed his lips into a thin line and offered Tatsuha a vague smile. "I assure you that I have not spoken to Ryuichi-san since yesterday morning, but I'm sure you don't believe that, either."

Tatsuha frowned. "So then why are you saying all of this?"

Tohma shook his head. "Whether you believe it or not," he said, "I care a great deal about the happiness of my family -- and that does indeed include you." He stood. "We're done here, I suppose. I'll call someone to take you back to Eiri-san's apartment."

All of this seemed very strange. Tohma didn't simply come out and say things like this. Tatsuha never ever listened to Tohma's advice. It just didn't happen.

Tatsuha frowned. "You don't like me," he said softly. He did not stand. "You've never liked me, and I don't think you give a damn about how happy I am. Why are you trying to get me to go back to Sakuma-san?"

Tohma was quiet for a moment. "Very well. I suppose you deserve an honest answer." He sighed. "To be perfectly frank, I think Ryuichi-san needs someone like you."

"No, he doesn't."

Tohma frowned. "You didn't see him a year ago, when you chose to go to school instead of stay here with him. You aren't like the lovers Ryuichi-san throws away or the ones who let him get away with anything and give him everything because he is who he is. I myself am guilty of allowing him more leeway than he should have, as is Noriko-san. You don't indulge him, Tatsuha-kun, and he needs that lack of lenience from someone. That's what I believe." He settled his gaze on Tatsuha. "Do you understand?"

Tatsuha didn't answer. Tohma's words echoed Ukai Noriko's speech from last summer. It was creepy, in a way, and it was confusing and Tatsuha didn't understand it all for even a moment. He wasn't sure he wanted to. Both Noriko and Tohma thought Ryuichi needed him. If that was true, then why did Tatsuha feel like he was a subject to the singer's whims? Both Noriko and Tohma said he would be good for Ryuichi. Why did no one wonder if Ryuichi would be good for him?

Tohma walked over to the office door and opened it. "I'll show you out."

"Don't bother," Tatsuha said. "You've probably got tons of work to do and stuff. I'll find my own way out."

"Very well. I'll call downstairs and have a car waiting outside to --"

"I'll walk," Tatsuha interrupted. "I can find my way around just fine."

"It's a very long walk," Tohma pointed out. "It would be better if you took the car."

"I have some stuff to think about. I'll walk."

Tohma smiled again. "You can think in the car, I promise. I'll even tell the drive to go very slowly simply for your benefit."

Any argument Tatsuha could possibly give would be wasted on Tohma. Tatsuha sighed and gave in. "All right. I'll take the car."

"Good," Tohma said. "Go on out. The car will be there when you get to the door."

It was, too, and Tatsuha found that he wasn't at all surprised. The driver never spoke to Tatsuha, either, and simply drove -- slowly -- and let him off once they reached Eiri's apartment. Then, without a word, he drove away. It didn't give Tatsuha a great deal of time to think, but that was all right. He wanted to talk to Shuichi, anyway.

When Tatsuha got up to the apartment, he saw Eiri first. The writer was reading a book on the couch and didn't even look up when Tatsuha came in.

"Hi," Tatsuha said.

"Mmhm."

Tatsuha paused to kick off his shoes. "Is Shuichi back yet?"

"Mmhm."

"Where is he?"

"In the music room," Eiri said. "But you don't want to go in there right now."

Tatsuha paused. "Why not?"

"Because he has a friend over."

Tatsuha stopped dead in the middle of the hallway. "Sakuma-san?"

"The one and only." Eiri put down his book and turned toward Tatsuha. "I take it things didn't go so well?"

"No," Tatsuha answered. "Things didn't go so well."

Eiri nodded. "I thought not." He twisted back and picked his book up again. "You can still bail if you want to before they come back out. You could go see a movie. One with lots of blood and a few explosions, just as you like them. On me."

Tatsuha frowned. He didn't like movies with guns and explosions and Eiri knew it; the loud noises always made him jumpy. Still, he appreciated the thought, and... Well, he couldn't deal with Sakuma Ryuichi just yet.

"Yeah," he said. "Okay."

Eiri nodded. "My wallet is on the kitchen counter," he said. "Take some cash and go." He turned a page in his book. "Just be back by seven-thirty. The brat has every intention of dragging you to that party tonight, because I refuse to go."

"What?" Tatsuha turned on his heel and stared at Eiri. "I can't go to that."

Eiri shrugged. "He won't go alone."

"So you go with him!" Tatsuha insisted.

Eiri shook his head. "I have work to do."

"So do it now," Tatsuha snapped.

"Can't," Eiri said. "Busy."

Tatsuha scowled. Eiri could be such an asshole. There would be way too many people from NG at K's party, and there was a possibility -- a really good possibility -- that Tatsuha would run into someone he did not want to run into. The secretary from this morning. Tohma. Or worse -- Sakuma Ryuichi.

"Freak," he muttered, and went to the kitchen.

Eiri's wallet, a battered and ripped leather monstrosity that was almost as old as Tatsuha (Eiri had carried it around for longer than Tatsuha could remember, and the blond swore it had been delivered to him in a dream by one of the koi in the temple pond), was on the counter next to the newly replaced coffee maker. Tatsuha unfolded it and removed enough yen to have a fairly nice evening, slipped the money in his pocket, and then went back to the living room. He knocked on Eiri's head and his brother swatted at him.

"I'm going now," Tatsuha said, slipping on his shoes. "I'll be back later."

"Seven-thirty," Eiri reminded him.

Tatsuha paused and bit the inside of his cheek. Then he nodded. "Yeah," he repeated. "Seven-thirty." Or something. If he wasn't back by then, what was Eiri going to do? He was his brother, not his father, and it wasn't as though Eiri could set a curfew or anything. The elder brother would just have to suck it up and go to the party with Shuichi like a good boyfriend should. End of story. He reached out to grasp the doorknob. Just as he was about to open the door, Eiri cleared his throat.

"You've got to talk to him sometime," the blond pointed out.

Tatsuha sighed. He knew that. Shuichi would kill him if he tried to run away without talking to Ryuichi, and then Tatsuha would wonder for the rest of his life about what would have happened. He couldn't have that. If he did end up going to the party with Shuichi, for one reason or another, he would have to spend the evening wishing he didn't exist and avoiding anyone who might recognize him.

Hell. Settling this now, in a more-or-less private setting, would have to be better than facing Ryuichi in a crowded room full of strangers. Right? Right. Of course. So...

"You know," Tatsuha began, taking his hand away from the doorknob and taking a step back, "on second thought? I'll think I'll just stay in today."

Eiri frowned. "You're sure? It's a great day for a movie."

"I'm sure," Tatsuha said. He turned around and tried a smile.

Eiri didn't buy it. "You're positive?"

"I think it'll be okay," Tatsuha insisted. "Besides, there aren't any good movies like that out right now."

Eiri frowned momentarily but then shrugged. "Whatever you say."

Tatsuha ignored Eiri and returned the elder's wallet to the kitchen counter. Then, after a moment of hesitation, he went to the music room and stood in front of the door. He could do this. He could do this. He could...

Gathering up the remains of his courage, Tatsuha took a deep breath and opened the door to Shuichi's music room.

---end part seven---