Hey everyone! Lily Jill here! Just wanted to drop in a little note of clarification. Dani wrote this fic in its entirety. All I'm doing is posting it for her :)

All credit for Redactward and Snarkella goes to Dani! Enjoy!

-112-

My new apartment is beautiful.

I settled for a studio so I can get a nicer space, but it's still pretty big and sprawling, a whole wall of windows letting in the natural (albeit cloudy) light of Seattle. Hardwood floors and brick walls, and a kitchenette with dark granite that makes me drool with how pretty it is.

It allows me to get rid of a lot of things I didn't need. Declutter. Refresh with new, fluffy, all-white linens for my bed and a matching couch that's equally comfortable and sucks you right in. I line the walls with books and CDs and records, with magazines spread out on the table. It's homey, but...I don't feel it yet.

There's still a piece missing.

And I think I find it when mindlessly scrolling through my phone one night.

Except my car is in the shop, so I have to call Alice.

"Al, I need you to do me a huge favor."

"On it. Will I need to hide a body?"

"Nope, only pick one up."

She's hesitant, but when I send her the picture of what I need her to pick up, she squeals loud enough to burst my eardrum and is on the mission with no hesitation.

A lot like Edward's mission to…

No. We're not going there.

It takes a couple of days to put the paperwork through, but soon Alice is at the door with my delivery.

She's fucking precious; a three-year-old little dust bunny come to life in the form of a sweet little kitty. Her fur is long, various shades of gray, black, and white, and she's half Scottish Fold, so her ears disappear into her fur. Big, scared yellow eyes look up at me from the kitty carrier, and I'm instantly in love.

"Hey, sweet baby," I coo, opening the carrier and letting her come out on her own terms. "I'm your new momma. It's so nice to meet you."

Alice heads to the kitchen area to get her stuff all set up while we stare each other down. Eventually, I give in and sit on the floor criss-cross-applesauce and employ a little patience.

"So, Bella, you never did tell me what happened with Edward," Alice sighs, leaning against the far wall, so she doesn't intrude on our space while we let the little lady acclimate.

"What's there to tell? He wound up lying to me just like every other man ever does," I grouse, fiddling with a loose thread on my jeans.

"Yeah, but he wasn't like every other man, was he? I mean, you met his family. I met his family. They were great, and things were just...they were going so well. Something serious had to happen." She pulls her knees up to her chest, resting her arms on her knees.

"Yeah, well, it was serious."

"Bella…" She hedges, forcing me to look at her. "You can tell me anything."

Except I can't. But I need to tell someone. I feel like I'm about to burst, not being able to talk about this.

It's the hurt look in her eyes that makes me cave.

"Fine, but I need you to shut your phone off before we get into it."

"What? Why?"

All it takes from me is a look, and her eyes widen as she fishes her phone out to do as I told her to. I do the same, double-checking that I shut off my laptop, and then I take a deep breath and tell her everything.

I watch her face change from shock to disgust, to anger, and then, when I'm finished...it softens. I assume because she feels bad for me. I don't want her pity, but I get it.

"Whoa, Bella, that's...fucked," she finally says.

"Yeah, I know," I sigh, looking back at the little gremlin in the carrier. Tentatively, she takes a step forward, hunkering down again while I try to tamper the excitement.

"But—"

"No, Al, no buts. He lied to me."

"Well, he didn't really have a choice, did he? He's kind of sworn by the fucking government to not tell you."

"He let me be arrested," I'm careful not to raise my voice for the sake of the cat, but my anger boils in me.

"I mean...he thought there was evidence you were a murderer. Look, I'm not saying forgive him like nothing happened. All I'm saying is...put yourself in his shoes. If you can honestly say you would have handled things differently, then, by all means, I'll never bring it up again. But I kind of think he handled it the best he could've with what he was given at the time."

I'm just about to open my mouth to reply, rant to her how I would never have done the same when Gremlin takes a few more slow steps and sniffs at my pants.

I stay still as a statue, scared to death to make any move that will make her run.

And then she climbs right in my lap, curls up, and starts purring.

And I start crying.

Because as much as I love her already, she's not what's missing. Edward is what's missing. And there's nothing I can do to get him back without compromising my beliefs.

And as Meatloaf famously said…

I would do anything for love...but I won't do that.

See you tomorrow!