-114-
BPOV
It's been a week since Detective Weber showed up at my apartment to show me those videos.
I'd be lying if I said I knew what to do with the information, even now.
But between her and Alice, I can't help but wonder if I'm being irrational.
I keep up my routine, though. Work, performing, coming home, and thinking; Grem lying in my lap while I ponder the betrayal I've been through these past few months.
And I do what Alice suggested I do. I genuinely try to put myself in his shoes every step of the way and figure out if I would've done things differently.
If I had a job that I loved, that I believed in, and was assigned to someone who I ultimately fell for...would I tell them?
I know we don't choose who we love. That part I don't fault him for. But once he knew this was serious...once he slept with me…
He should have come clean. He should have been honest before claiming me as his and pulling me into his fucking family. It still hurts that he didn't.
And he watched me. That first date, after we made out against the door of my apartment and I begged him to fuck me...he watched me get off to thoughts of him and fucked his hand while he did.
But then I remember how I felt that night. How gone and desperate I was for him. How I would have done anything to get him inside me…
His walking away definitely makes more sense now.
And if I had to be the one to force myself away from him and walk in the other direction, hot and bothered and needing to come...and then the very thing that had me feeling that way showed up on my screen pleasuring themselves to thoughts of me?
Yeah, I wouldn't be able to stop myself, either.
My phone rings, pulling me out of my thoughts, an unknown number flashing on the screen. I ignore it, but the same number calls again, so I pick up and say hello.
"Hey, Bella? This is Rose."
Jesus, what is this, some campaign Edward's launching to win me back through our mutual acquaintances?
"Uh, hi…"
"Look, I know you and my brother aren't together anymore, which totally sucks, but I completely respect," she laughs a bit, and I can't help but laugh with her because we both know she doesn't exactly respect the choice. She may understand the reason behind it, but she wishes it were different.
Hell, so do I.
"I just...Mom is in the hospital. I thought you'd want to know. I don't want you to feel any sort of obligation to come or anything, but you two really connected, so I just wanted to keep you in the loop."
"Shit, um...is she okay?" It's a stupid question because I remember what she said when we talked in the kitchen. She wasn't going to get better.
Rose sighs, pausing for longer than I'm comfortable with before she speaks again.
"If you ask her, she is. But no. The doctors are still running tests to figure out the prognosis, but...she's not doing well."
"Okay, um...I'll be right there."
"Bella, you don't have to. Edward is here; if you want to come, I can text you when he leaves and—"
"Rose."
"Yeah?"
"Will it make him uncomfortable if I show up?"
"No, I don't think so. In fact, I think he'd really like that."
As soon as the words are out of her mouth, I'm standing up from the couch, ignoring Grem's protesting howl, and heading to my makeshift closet to find something to wear. Something that says 'it means a lot to me to be here,' not, 'look how hot I still am.' I can rub his face in that some other time.
"Then I'm on my way. Can you let him know, please? I don't want him blindsided. And if he seems upset about it at all, let me know. She's his mother, but I would like to see her."
"Yeah, of course, Bella. Wow. Thank you."
"You don't need to thank me, Rose."
"I know, but still. See you soon."
"Yeah...bye."
See you soon!
