Update 1 of 2 for today :)
-115-
EPOV
When Rose uttered the words, I thought it was some sick, twisted joke. Surely Bella isn't on her way here, knowing I'm here, after going through so much trouble to avoid me. I still don't believe it until I see her walking towards the doors of the hospital.
I had stepped out to smoke, completely unaware at the time that it would grant me a front-row seat to an actual angel flying in like she's here to personally rescue me.
But she isn't. I know that. She's here for Mom, and somehow that means even more to me.
She's way too fucking beautiful for someone who's dressed so casually. Light wash denim, rips in the knees, a plain, gray Nike hoodie with an oversized flannel thrown on top. Hair in that messy bun that always drove me nuts, Converse on her feet. Storming in like my own fucking demise coming to demolish me or absolve me. I'll take either at this point.
"Can't believe you're still smoking when your mom is in the hospital with cancer," she jabs. She means for it to be a joke, her signature dark humor making an appearance, but there's bitterness and hurt behind the words that have nothing to do with the statement she just made.
I nod, lifting my foot to extinguish the cherry on the sole of my shoe before tossing the butt in the trash.
"Yeah, I suppose I deserve that," I shrug, unable to look right at her. She's too pretty, too vicious. It's not even anger that's pulsing from her; I can handle the anger. It's the pain. A wound I cut into her that's still festering and oozing, and all it does is lance mine open right along with hers—maybe even cuts a few new ones.
She doesn't say anything for a while, forcing me to look and see if she's even still there.
"You cut your hair," she finally says.
"Uh, yeah," I rake my fingers through the much shorter strands, tugging at them.
"Looks nice," she offers awkwardly.
"Thanks. You look nice," I hedge, letting one side of my lip lift with a smirk.
Bella nods, muttering thanks before she looks at her feet. "So, how is she?"
"She's sick. Throwing up a lot. Weak. In a lot of pain. But you know Mom, she's trooping through it like nothing is wrong."
"Yeah," she nods again like there's nothing else for her to do. A sentiment I understand all too well. "Well, I'm gonna head up."
"Yeah, I'll be up in a few." I give her the room number and details, then watch as she turns to walk away. "Bella?"
She turns, looking at me questioningly.
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry."
All she does is nod again, turning around and resuming her trek.
It's back. That part of me that feels like it's being pulled in whatever direction she's in. But I ignore it and light up another cigarette, because she's not mine to follow anymore.
Oh, Redactward. My heart. Update 2 for today coming in a bit!
