Title: Why
Author: Elfflame
Rating: R
Summary: Her best friend wants to know why.
Warnings: dash of darkness, dash of incest
Dedication: To Jan, for her birthday. It went a bit darker than I wanted, but it works.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. sigh
"I don't really want to know why, do I?" Charlie asked Tonks, sounding a bit more resigned to it than usual.
She sighed. She hated this conversation, but they never seemed to get past it.
She knew he'd been hoping she'd turn to Bill after Remus had died in the final battle, but she hadn't been ready yet. It had taken more than a year before she had even thought about anyone else. And when she had, it had not been Bill, but Lucius she had turned to.
Lucius was everything Remus was not, while Bill's gentleness and his scars reminded her of Remus every time she saw him. Lucius had changed. He and his son had turned before the end of the war, shortly after Voldemort had killed Narcissa because of Lucius and Draco's failures. He was one of the heroes of the war now. He was still haughty and arrogant, but he'd shown her there was more to him than that. His passion swept her away in a way that even Remus had never been able to do.
He could make her forget years of insults about her blood with a kiss. His caresses made her forget the pain of losing so many during a war he'd fought against her before his defection. And when he was inside her, nothing else mattered. Not blood, not war, not death. Just him and her.
Now, instead of thinking of might-have-beens involving Remus, she spent hours thinking of Lucius instead. His hair, which she loved to stroke as he took her; his steel-grey eyes, which saw her every need; his pale skin, softer than her own, smooth as silk; but most of all, his need to control her.
Yes, there were days he insisted her hair be corn silk blonde, and her eyes a pale blue, or deep shaggy black with piercing grey, or even her own mother's deep brown and sapphire. The shame of it made her cheeks flush, but his pleasure when she obeyed him was lovely, and after, he would be so gentle to her. Those were the nights he allowed her to stay with him. Those were the nights he truly made love to her once she'd returned to her own form. How could she not do what he wanted when he was so kind to her after?
Tonks looked up at her concerned best friend. She knew he only had her best interests at heart, but there was no way he would ever understand this. "Probably not, mate," she said, staring into her near-empty glass of beer. "Probably better that you don't."
Charlie snorted. "Yeah, cause then I'd have to go punch his nose in. And then you'd be mad at me, and he'd try to have me arrested, most like." He placed a hand on hers. "Just be careful, all right?"
Tonks smiled. "Me? Careful? Think you've got the wrong girl, Charlie. Never had a careful bone in my body. You know that."
Charlie smiled ruefully. "Yeah, well…"
Tonks finished off her drink. "Well, time to go, mate. See you next time, Charlie. Say hello to the family."
Charlie nodded, his eyes following her, a concerned expression on his face. "Will do."
Tonks missed his worried look. Lucius was waiting. And she couldn't wait to see him.
