Update 1 of 2 for today :)
-120-
BPOV:
He's breaking me down, and I don't even think he knows what he's doing.
Being there for Esme and the Cullens is far from a hardship to me. I love them all for their own, unique reasons. Esme for being the brightest light I've ever seen, Carlisle for the way he stands strong and firm for his family when it would be so easy to crumple, Rosalie for the way she's fucking gorgeous, but there's not a stuck up, entitled bone in her body, and Emmett for his goofy, borderline inappropriate humor.
And then there's Edward who… Who's all of that and so much more.
I knew I missed him, but I forgot why I missed him in all my anger. I forgot how him just being in a room calms me, how he can make me smile with nothing more than a look. How I just feel...complete when he's around.
That's dangerous, right? It can't be good to feel that way for a boy I'm not in a relationship with. I've already been there, done that, got the T-shirt, right?
Today when I show up at the hospital, he's the only one there—sitting on the little pleather couch that seems to be in all hospital rooms, his ankle resting on his knee and his laptop propped on his lap.
He's so focused on what he's doing that he doesn't look up when I come in, and Esme is asleep, so it gives me the chance to openly ogle him.
He looked damn good when I was with him, but there's something about him now that's different. Maybe it's the haircut. Maybe I just miss him, but he's so fucking gorgeous it's really, really hard to look away.
"Trying to get some work in?" I ask quietly, stepping further into the room and shedding my coat.
Bright, albeit tired, green eyes look up at me, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips and reminding me of all the other things he can do with it.
"Uh, no. Not exactly," he replies, long fingers pausing on the keys.
"Where is everyone?" I sit down next to him, keeping a respectable distance, brushing my fingers through my hair to tame the way the wind blew it.
"Rose and Emmett are spending the day with the kids, and I sent Dad home to get some rest."
"That must have been a fun battle."
"Thrilling. I hoped you would show up soon in case I needed help hog-tying him."
Our laughter is easy. Friendly. I kind of hate it. Not because it's easy but because we used to laugh so much more.
"Seems like work has been pretty lenient on you, yeah?" I've seen him on his computer numerous times, so I know he's still working, and I try really hard not to be bitter about that. Not to worry that he's watching some new pretty young thing now that we're not together, or worry about the ethics behind the government even watching at all.
It's all just too much right now.
"I'm kind of...not exactly working right now. I'm on leave."
"Oh?" It makes sense. People go on leaves from work to take care of their family all the time.
"Mhm, while I learn what I need to learn for my new job."
"Your new job?" I'm caught off guard, wondering why he didn't mention this before. Then again, aside from our chat at the coffee shop, we haven't really gotten personal. We've kept our conversations surface level.
"Uh, yeah. I decided I couldn't...do what I was doing anymore. But I started looking into software engineering and found out I'm actually pretty good with code, so I talked to the Chief, and he agreed to let me switch jobs. So, eventually, I'll be working on the software that runs things, not, you know, doing the running."
It's hard to believe what he's saying because it...well, quite frankly, it changes things a little bit. He's shed that part of him that was so bad right before my eyes. He's no longer this crazy super-spy sneaking around my back like my overactive mind had convinced me of.
"Wow, Edward, that's really awesome. I'm really happy for you." His smile is so fucking shy and so fucking adorable I have to resist the urge to pinch his cheek. "So that's what you're doing? Schoolwork?"
"Yeah, basically. Look," I lean in to see his screen, which I can make zero sense of, while he rambles on about something I'll never understand.
He smells so good. Like fresh brewed coffee and smoke and that clean, fresh scent that comes from the mixture of his body wash and his fabric softener. I want to bury my face in his chest and breathe so deep I never lose the scent.
But I don't.
I do linger a bit. Let my chest brush against his arm, place my hand on his shoulder when I lean in to see something on his screen.
But then he turns his head to look at me right as I'm pulling back, and our faces are so fucking close. It would take hardly anything to close the gap between our lips.
"Oh, hey kids," Esme rasps from her bed, making us shoot about ten feet apart. "Any news on when I get to blow this popsicle stand?"
Next update coming shortly!
