Ha Ha Ha
A/N: One word…GOTCHA!
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Squall's eyes scanned around the room, taking in the glares and surprised faces that were littered about.
Seifer's face was still plastered with his trademark smirk, but the wiggling of his eyebrows suggested otherwise.
Zell's jaw had dropped to the floor, tongue hanging out like a loose belt and drooling all over the place.
Irvine wasn't even looking up, for he had his face in his hands, hat covering the rest of his head. But it was easy to hear his muffled laughter.
But if looks could kill, Squall would be buried six feet under in a box, body filled with bullet holes, and ants eating what was left of his rotting corpse. That was the summary of all the looks the women were giving him and his girlfriend.
"Uh…Xu?" Squall finally stammered out, trying to avoid the looks he was being given by both genders present in the apartment.
"Yes?" She said, looking back down at Squall, who was beginning to look a little pale at the sudden temperature drop in the living space.
"My room if you don't mind?" He nodded his head to his upper loft room. He didn't need to look around to feel the temperature drop again. 'If this keeps up I might need to get a parka to wear around this place.' He thought dryly.
Xu quickly got off his lap and walked around the group, not receiving a single glare. But as Squall got up, all eyes were on him. As he started walking he felt his limbs would freeze in place, and someone would come up behind him and shatter him to pieces with a pickaxe. He quickly flew up the stairs, flew, not ran, flew, up the stairs, for fear that something like that just might happen in the next few seconds.
When he got past the door and had closed and bolted and barricaded, assuring himself that no beasts of retribution or rage would break through, he calmed himself. But not before hearing an outburst of screaming and shouting, each thinking the same thing…WHEN IN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN!
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When Squall had left the living room, all Hell broke loose. In the form of three bewildered men, and three very flustered women.
Seifer, Zell, and Irvine were all asking each other what the hell was going on with Squall and why the hell he never told anyone about this. As far as they knew, he had only a few girlfriends, but none he ever allowed to get that close in front of anyone. Ever.
The girls were screaming at each other about nothing, none of them trying to release the emotions on one another, but trying to save them up for certain woman sitting alone with Squall.
'Gah! Alone! Oh god, Oh god, Oh god…' Rinoa thought to herself, pacing around like a lunatic with a straight jacket on. Quistis wasn't far off either.
'I cannot believe this! My roommate and friend already has a girlfriend! AHHH! How? How could this happen! How can Hyne be so cruel!' she thought, holding her head, resting her elbows on the counter next to the kitchen sink.
Selphie was the only one out of that little group who wasn't thinking about ways to maim or murder the young woman. 'He could have at least told us about all this before she came around. At least we wouldn't all be acting up like this! Well, maybe not the guys, but sheesh! It like Quistis and Rinoa were cheated on by a guy they still barely know and aren't even going out with!'
Selphie gave a quick sigh before planting herself next to Irvine, who was still yelling at Seifer and Zell, who were each yelling at each other. 'Men, why do they always act like this?'
She sighed once again before tuning them all out and trying to watch tv.
- - - - - - - - - -
Squall was a little surprised at the outburst, but then started to give a slight chuckle before he sat down next to Xu, who was breaking out in laughter.
"So you think they fell for it?" She asked in between yips.
"Definitely. I think that went quite well. Don't you think?" He asked, propping himself on his elbows as he leaned back onto his bed.
"Yep. I can't believe you actually said that! I thought I would die with the looks you little girlfriends were giving me! But I would thought I would die from trying to hold in my laughter even more!" she started, mimicking his position on the bed.
Squall sat there, looking at his former classmate. They made the best of friends, as far as best could get, and tried to take it a little further. Things had become awkward between the two, so they had settled as just being friends. It wasn't very often though they played tricks like that on Squall's friends. It was in fact the first thing they had ever pulled off on any of them.
"So…" Xu questioned, one eyebrow raised.
Squall looked at her, mimicking her facial expression, "So…"
"Which one do you like?" she answered. If there was ever a time to have a shocked face, this was it for Squall.
"W-What? What're you talking about?" He asked, trying to fight the warm sensation rising in his face.
Xu was quick to notice the small hue of pink wash over his cheeks.
"The herd of Mesmerize sitting outside your door. The women you dolt! Which one has piqued your interest?" she quipped, trying to push his buttons that dealt with the opposite sex.
Squall got up and walked to his window, staring out at nothing. "I don't know what you're talking about. Besides, if I did like anyone of them, why would I tell you?"
"I don't know. Maybe because you're beginning to blush and you are trying to avoid the subject. And you're beginning to pace around, which shows that you are nervous about this subject of conversation. I don't know." Xu giggled.
She was right. He was subconsciously trying to avoid the subject and he was pacing like he normally does when he is in worry. 'Why did I ever meet this woman? She knows me better than my own family. Which is good in a sort of way…'
Squall sighed, knowing she wasn't going to give up anytime soon. "I don't know. They all seem like decent people. Although Selphie seems a little interested in Irvine, even though she tries not to show it."
Xu nodded, motioning for him to go on.
"And that Quistis seems like a really nice person, but I've seen some of the looks she's given Seifer in the past few minutes. I don't know. She looks like a great person, but in some ways, just a little like…me, ya know?"
Xu nodded again, her head cocking to one side. Squall knew what she was asking.
"She acts like me in some ways, which I commend her for. She's very organized, punctual, and articulate about things. I guess she provides a sort of stability to her friends. She knows when to lighten up though."
Xu nodded slowly this time, taking in the information that just passed through her ears. "Then what about the other one?"
"Rinoa? Well…I'm not sure. There's not much I can really say about her, just that she has a sense of spontaneity and that she loves to play around sometimes. But she knows that there are times to pay around and times to be serious."
"Hm," Xu mumbled, "A sense of stability, or the sense of unpredictability. Tough choice in my opinion. Both are sound like great people, but you have to choose one or the other. You can't have a triangle going on, it'll only cause you and them a great deal of pain that neither of you need."
Squall continued staring out the window of his room, thinking about her words.
'She's right. I wouldn't want to hurt them or myself, naturally. But both are great women and they seem like great potential partners. Partners? What the hell am I saying? It's like I'm going to ask them to marry me or something! No way in hell is that happening! Why am I even saying all this? How in the hell did I start talking about all this shit?' Squall yelled at himself.
Xu continued looking upon her friends face, noticing the slight changes in his features. It was almost as if he was arguing with himself.
"Whatever. I don't care about either of them that much to even consider them to be something more than friends or roommates. It's just not in the cards." Squall stated, his tone a little more decisive than he meant it to be.
Xu looked at him astonished. She was amazed that even though he had given his new roommates a quick review of how they might be of some actual good in his life, that he had once again proven that he can once again be nothing more than a selfish guy.
"I know you're my friend and all, but what in the hell are you thinking?" she shouted. Thank Hyne the walls were soundproof.
Squall looked at her astonished. She never shouted at him before, not even when they had tried being together. He knew that he wouldn't be talking for a while.
"You just told me what you thought about the three women down there who are you're roommates, and two of them have your interest. But now after waging some mental war with yourself, your head thinks it knows everything and decides that it doesn't need some excess baggage?" she shouted at him, her body inching ever so close to his.
Squall avoided making eye contact with her, once again resuming his position of looking out the window. But Xu wasn't going to allow him to avoid her. Not this time.
She pulled his arm until his entire body faced her, and she locked eyes with him.
"Don't even think about avoiding me! You are never going to able to avoid me for as long as we both live, and you know it! You are also never going to be able to avoid to the decision that is sitting in that room there!" she pointed to door leading out to the living room.
"I can already see that look in your eyes." Her voice softened just a tad, but still held authority over the ass-chewing.
"That look that says 'I don't want to talk about it'. But I know its what you want to talk about. There are two women who you know you're going to have feelings for sooner or later, and when those feelings come around, you are not going to know what to do about them."
She cupped his face in her hands and looked at him like she would an old love. Her voice softened to become a whisper.
"You'll know it when it happens. Trust me you will know it, but until that time comes, I want you to just embrace your feelings and trust this for a change," she flicked the spot of his heart, "and not this for once." She tapped his head.
"You've been listening to your head for too long. It's time you let something else do the thinking for a change." She let him go and let her words sink in.
Squall thought on it, then thought something else. He raised an eyebrow in her direction.
"Don't look at me like that Leonhart. I know what just crossed your mind, so get your head out of the gutter."
Squall smirked. 'She's known me for too long.'
Xu smirked back, before resuming her seat on his black bed. She began to look around his room to see if anything had changed since she was here last.
Everything was the same, the computer desk in the corner, with the Alienware sitting on it. The work desk he had ALL of his paperwork at. The shelf that held the two gunblades from his training. The only new thing she saw was what was above the gunblades. All of them.
There, on the wall above the Revolver and Lion Heart, sat each and every type of gunblade made in the Revolver-class of the gunblades.
The Shear Trigger, Cutting Trigger, Flame Saber, Twin Lance, and the Punishment, each sat at a forty-five degree angle, blades facing the lower left corner.
She sat looking at the seven gunblades, never once seeing them all in one place, least of all Squall's room.
Squall noticed Xu's silence and looked over to her, seeing she was looking at something on the wall. He followed her line of sight until he looked at his gunblade collection.
"I just finished with them." Xu broke her stare and looked back at him, wondering what he was talking about.
He saw the look on her face and motioned his head back to the wall. "The Punishment was the last gunblade to be delivered to me. It came in about a week ago."
Xu nodded and looked back to the collection. She saw that the Revolver and Lion Heart both pointed to each on the shelf, but she missed what they were pointing to. In the middle of the two gunblades, sat a silver miniature statue.
"Griever." She said to herself. Not seeing the slight nod Squall gave to her statement.
"I had it made a month ago. It came in the same time the Punishment did. It's made of silver." Squall narrated.
Squall was about to continue before he heard a knock at the door. Xu looked to the door too, wondering what was going on. Squall shrugged, then noticed the clock's red numbers behind her: 4:05.
They had been talking for at least three hours, but the others outside were probably thinking otherwise. Xu looked behind herself and noticed the same thing, until a mischievous smile came on her face.
A small smile appeared on Squall's face. He couldn't agree more.
- - - - - - - - - -
Seifer pounded on the door one more time. If he had to knock one more time, he would take the axe that was in the lower closet and do a 'The Shining' impression to great effect.
He turned around and began walking down the stairs until he heard a shuffle come from behind the door. "About damn time!"
When the door opened, Seifer's jaw, along with everyone else's, could have fallen straight through the floor to ground level and out onto the road to get ran over. Again, and again, and again, and again.
Out came Squall, dressed in his gray wife-beater and his boxers, Xu following behind in one of Squall's shirts and shorts. A slight smile came over Squall's features, while Xu covered her mouth, trying not to laugh out loud at the expressions that were spread among the faces in the loft.
Squall first saw Zell who was sitting on the couch, spooning some ice cream, which had appropriately fallen into his lap from his mouth, which was dripping like a leaky pipe.
He shifted his eyes to Irvine who was sitting adjacent of him on the right side of the couch. Irvine's face was plastered with shock, his body frozen in time, spoon and ice cream floating in mid air, inches from his mouth.
His next place was over Selphie, who was sitting next Irvine, looking equally shocked, only her spoon was gripped firmly in place by her jaw, which was frozen shut. Her eyes told the whole story.
Squall looked back over to the kitchen, where he saw Quistis petrified in one spot, ice cream scoop in one hand, and the other holding the ice cream box in a death grip. Her knuckles were turning white, from the coldness or shock, Squall couldn't tell.
He then saw Rinoa who was holding an ice cream box that fell to the floor shortly after. Behind her the freezer door was still wide open, several items beginning to thaw out.
When he came back to Seifer, he couldn't help the smile that completely took over his face. There, Seifer was standing, one foot on the floor, the other on the stairs, his eyes wide enough to dig out with a spoon and mouth open wide enough to pull out his tongue and slap it back like a bad blind.
He didn't notice Xu who had left and come back with a camera and snapped a quick shot before running back in. The flash from the camera had snapped everyone out of their daze and had them trying to get to what they were doing.
"Ohdammitall! Now this stuff's all over my clothes!" Zell whined, trying to get the ice cream of his pants.
No one else said a thing, as they were busy minding their own business, as hard as it was when the source of the problem was walking down the stairs and towards the kitchen to, more than likely, grab some ice cream.
Squall pulled out a stool and sat on it, Xu sitting next to him.
"Mind if we have some?" Squall asked, a smile playing his features. Xu was giggling slightly, covering her mouth to muffle out the sound.
Quistis nodded silently, scooping out some more ice cream while Rinoa picked up the fallen box and placed it next to Quistis before rummaging through the drawers for some spoons. When she had found them, Rinoa had placed them down with an emphatic slam.
Squall smiled some more, looking over at Xu who was tearing up from keeping her laughing out loud.
Quistis slammed down the ice cream scoop, placing her hands on either side of her, death glare in her eyes. Everyone else looked up and at her, wondering who was going to die in the next minute. Squall and Xu weren't the least bit fazed.
"What in the hell is the fricking matter with you two? You two more than likely just finished something that none of was want to know about and you're both laughing like school kids!" She shouted, making everyone else wince, while the two held their heads down. Not in shame, but in trying not to laugh in her face.
"I would like to know…" Irvine said silently, before being hit in the face by an ice cream scoop. The gang in the living room, shrank away slightly.
Squall and Xu were now trembling slightly, but enough to warrant attention. Quistis looked back at them, still glaring like there was no tomorrow, which was more than likely for the two if they kept up with their attitudes.
"What are you crying now? I could understand her but not you, Squall!" she screamed.
Enough was enough.
A snort was heard from Squall, who held his hand up to mouth. When he looked up, Quistis was taken aback.
Here was Squall, holding his face, tears in his eyes. When he removed his hand, his laughter came out in a wide bellow. He kept laughing when he put his forehead onto the counter, holding his sides from laughing so damn much.
When Quistis looked to her left, she saw Xu in a similar position, holding her side, her other hand over her mouth, with tears in her eyes. She too broke out in hysteria.
Quistis, along with Rinoa and everyone else, was stupefied at their friend's reactions.
It clicked for her one second too late. Her eyes shot wide open, and she looked between the two, eyes flying back and forth between the two like a tennis match on speed.
"You two didn't actually…?" her words and voice trailed off into the distance.
Squall looked up for a second, trying to put on a serious face, but to no avail. He shook his head as laughter took him again. Xu broke out uncontrollably beside him, falling off the stool and landing on her rump, before resuming her laughter.
Squall looked over and saw her fall, but couldn't do anything except having to laugh some more about something else.
"You mean to say you two aren't…?" Seifer stated, still frozen in his position on the stairs, but his hands pointing at both Squall and Xu. Quistis looked at him and sighed, placing her hand on her forehead.
By that time, everyone had figured it out and was looking at the two with exasperated looks. Squall managed to control himself for a little while before starting again with his hysterics. "Gotcha."
Everyone was talking and laughing amongst themselves now that they knew they had fallen for their prank.
This had Squall and Xu laughing even more, before looking up and seeing Rinoa beside Quistis, giggling slightly. Quistis joined in too, and soon everyone was laughing beside the two, but not as much as the two, now floor-ridden, Squall and Xu.
This was one for the history books. But not before Quistis grabbed a heavy piece of tupperware and threw it down at Squall.
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A/N: Gotchagotchagotcha! I knew that you wouldn't believe that Squall and Xu were actually getting it on. It's IMPOSSIBLE! I would never do that! I would shoot myself if I did, but I think others would shoot me first for even hinting at such a pairing. But hey! Squall is quite the ladies man these days! Well…that's all for this chapter, but you're gonna like what's gonna happen next! Here's a hint: It's time for a night out in the town! Who knows what'll happen then and there?
