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Epilogue:

EPOV: Three years later.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" My wife screams from across the yard of our home.

My eyes find her immediately, leaning against the fence with one foot in the air and…

Yep. That's shit on the bottom of her shoe.

And now she's gagging. Fuck.

"Edward!"

Yeah, not exactly the way I usually want her to be screaming my name.

I rush over to her as quickly as I can, removing her shoe and dropping it in the yard while I scoop her up and carry her to the patio to get her away from the smell.

I've seen more puke come out of that pretty mouth in the past six months than I ever care to, so if I can avoid it, I'm going to.

"I can't fucking believe you! You wanted the fucking dog, and you can't even clean up after it? Is this how it's gonna be when the baby comes? Am I going to have to do everything?"

…Aaand now she's crying.

My poor girl. She's eight months along now and miserable, but I can't get over how hot she is carrying my child.

"Baby, breathe," I tell her, crouching in front of her and putting my hands on her knees.

"Oh, fuck off," she growls.

It's funny, but I don't laugh. I know better than that.

"I just missed a spot, okay? I'll get it cleaned up and get you a new pair of shoes." Because even if I clean those, she'll claim she still smells shit all night. "Everyone should be here soon; why don't you go lay down on the couch while I get everything ready?"

"Yeah, okay," she nods, shedding her other shoe and heading inside.

Grem glares from the window, and I glare right back. Ugly ass cat. I hate her, and she hates me, but she was there for my girl when I wasn't, so I deal with her.

I may or may not have brought Reid home—the chocolate lab mix that won my heart the second I saw him on Bella's phone when she was scrolling through Facebook in bed one night—just to spite the crazy cat.

And by saw on her Facebook, I mean because she was sitting between my legs, laying back against my chest while I rubbed her growing belly. Not because I was spying.

Those days are way behind me, and I'm more than happy to be the man behind the scenes, coding my life away in a respectable, healthy Monday through Friday eight to four schedule.

Bella quit the bar about a year ago, picking up gigs to make enough money, so she felt like she was contributing. I don't need her to work, but she insists on paying half the bills while she's able to.

And tonight, all the people we love are coming over for a non-traditional sort of baby shower.

Angela and Bella have gotten to be really good friends since the whole arresting fiasco, and she and Ben have since had a little boy. Of course, Rose and Emmett will bring their brood, and Alice and Jasper will be here along with Vick and James and some of Bella's old college friends.

And, of course, her parents. Meeting her dad damn near sent me into an early grave, considering he was cleaning his gun when I walked in. But we bonded over working in law enforcement and our love for his daughter.

I even go fishing with him sometimes, even though it's definitely not my thing.

And her mom is an absolute gem, so that was easy.

Dad is the first to arrive, arms full of dishes I told him he didn't need to bring.

And then Mom is right behind him, looking around for Bella cause I'm pretty sure she loves her more than me. But that's fine; I get it. Who wouldn't?

Mom's been in remission for eighteen months now. It wasn't all roses after her hospital stay, but she made it, and I couldn't be happier.

Actually, I feel that way about everything in my life. It's not perfect. We have bad days. Bella and I fight. My family drives me nuts. Work is stressful sometimes.

And soon, I'll have a little partner in crime, a little bundle that's a perfect mix of my wife and me; a testament to all the love we're surrounded with. And it'll be crazy, and beautiful, and messy, and everything.

Fuck, I'm just happy.

Simple as that.

Mission accomplished.

Redactward finally settled! Thanks for jumping on his journey!