Based on the prompt of "Darling I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen."

"Darling.. I love you and all but please step out of the kitchen.." Lars sighs as he wakes up to the smell of smoke, surely, it's his boyfriend Arthur trying at failing with his cooking skills- or lack thereof.

"It's not my fault! I know I can't cook for shit but surely I can toast bread right?!" Arthur asks rhetorically as he frantically tries to put the fire out by fanning it with his already scorched apron. Lars simply sighs at the other man's antics and walks out to get the fire extinguisher, extinguishing it while keeping his cool.


"So, what was the cause of the fire?" A policeman questions, a neighbour having called the authorities when she smelled smoke.
"Well.. I tried to toast some bread for breakfast," Arthur mutters, head hung out of embarrassment "I walked out for about a minute to make some tea and when I got back, the whole damn thing was on fire!"

"Hmm, so cooking mishap." The policeman nods as he takes notes, now turning to face Lars "And you, I know you put the fire out, but where were you when this fire started?"
"I just woke up, smelled smoke and put the fire out using a fire extinguisher."

"Alright, thank you for your time gentlemen, stay safe." The policeman said politely before driving off.


"You.. are never allowed in the kitchen again." Lars sighs as the two walk off to a cafe for breakfast, too tired to even bother to cook. Arthur orders some toast, and Lars feels that his sanity was burned in the fire back at home as he nervously watches the worker toast the bread, ready to run out of the shop at any second.