POOR GEORGE

Summary: Lots of stories have been written about Rimmer finding out that the crew died. What about George McIntyre, who was around when the crew died, and had to be deactivated so Rimmer could be generated? Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters but, boy, I wish I did, because this situation and these characters are brilliant. Rob, Doug, you guys rock!

CHAPTER 2

"What did you say, Holly?" George asked, hoping against hope that he had heard wrong.

"Look, when Dave is released, he'll be alone on the ship," Holly said. "We need to bring back someone who'll keep him sane."

"And you think Rimmer is the best person for that? They hated each other! What about Petersen, or Chen, or Selby? They were best friends."

"All their disks are corrupted," Holly said. "They probably had their personalities recorded when they were drunk. All I have on file is Petersen's arm, Chen's pinkie toe on his right foot, and Selby's appendix."

"But Rimmer?"

"Lister used to get great enjoyment out of making Rimmer's life miserable. That ought to keep him going."

George had to admit, it was a wise plan. "What do we need to do?"

"Well, I think it'd be best if we put the ship into lockdown mode," Holly said. "Otherwise, it'll never last until Lister wakes up. That'll include my core program. Then, all you have to do is set up a reboot command for a few weeks before we wake him up, and everything will be ready for him."

It took George a long time to shut down all the nonessential systems aboard Red Dwarf. For the whole crew, it would have taken merely an hour. But to do the work of the 1,168 crew members who weren't pulling their fair share, took a lot longer. Oftentimes, it was merely a valve that had to be twisted to the OFF position, but George needed the Skutters to do that for him.

The problem with Skutters is that they are only about 2 feet high at their maximum reach. Sometimes, in order to just turn off one little knob, they had to spend the better part of a day lasering out part of the wall or floor boards, building a rudimentary ramp, and then finally rolling up it and turning the knob. The process was rather time consuming in this regard, and it took George and the Skutters about 3 weeks to finish the entire ship. At the end of the third week, George collapsed into a chair in the drive room.

"Oh, that's it, Holly," he said. He turned to face the computer's monitor above one of the consoles. "Now, what have I got to do to shut you off?"

"Change of plans, actually," Holly said. "I'm going to have to navigate the ship as best I can without the crew, or the whole of Red Dwarf will crash itself into any of the larger planets we find. Plus I've got to regulate the stasis field's power levels so it doesn't drop."

"You mean, you're going to stay on?"

"No choice," Holly said.

"But that will put you 2,999,950 years over your recommended lifespan," George said. He was silent a moment, then continued, "Your warranty'll be voided, anyway."

"I know, George. But there's nothing else I can do."

George sighed. "Alright, Holly. Well, I guess it's about time I were going."

"Yeah, got to save all the power we can."

"Just let me record a message for Lister, will you?"

"Sure thing, George."

"Begin dictation. Lister, it's George. I've just been helping Holly with getting the ship ready for its 3,000,000 year slumber. I just want to say, I'm sorry for how things turned out for you, and I'm sorry for how things are going to turn up. I know that Rimmer will say he's in charge because he outranks you, and I know Holly thinks he's the best bet to keep you sane. But, I know you two didn't get on. So, as my last act as astronavigation officer of Red Dwarf, I hereby grant you, David P. Lister, the rank of Lieutenant, Junior Grade, effective immediately. Now you can select among the crew for your companion, or stick with Rimmer if Holly's really right. Bye, Dave. End dication."

"Ready, George?"

"Ready, Holly. See you around, hm?"

"You bet, Dave." Holly shut George's hologram off. He looked at the letter George had written for Lister. Or, rather, he looked at the screen where it had been. He searched his databank. "Oh, bugger," Holly said. "Looks like I've forgotten to save it. Oh well, it's not as if George will ever find out. And Lister probably won't care, anyway."