Pictures of You - Hudson

One of these days, I'm going to get caught. I just know it. One of these nights, when I think I'm being all sneaky climbing out my bedroom window, mom or dad or both of them are going to hear something or decide to check on me, and find a decidedly empty bed. And then they'll be with the smack- down all over me. And Lex. The worst of it is, I'll have to hear Lex say 'I told you so'.

Hmph.

But for now, I'm not worrying and still sneaking out to go to the castle. Who can blame me? I'm dating the most incredible man in the world and my parents decide to impose a ridiculous curfew of nine o'clock. I've never had a curfew. Not until Lex. Mom and dad seem to think sex can only happen in the dark. But Lex has taught me differently.

Hee.

I still feel my face warming at the thought of what we do, though. Lex says it's cute. He says he never wants that to change about me. I have gotten better though. I mean, I like the way he looks at me, the way he takes the time to let his gaze drift over my entire body before he even touches me. It makes me feel special and beautiful - and so many other things I never expected to feel. I know I still turn twenty shades of red when he does it, and by the time he lifts his eyes back to mine, I'm breathing funny and feel like I'm going to crawl out of my fricken skin. But then Lex flashes me that smile - the one that's barely there but I can see it in his eyes, the one that's only ever for me - and I find myself smiling back and relaxing and then his hands and mouth are everywhere and nothing much matters after that.

And he wonders why I tempt fate by sneaking out of the house all of the time.

I always wait until my parents are asleep, so I never leave until usually around midnight. I speed through the woods toward the castle, and it's always late at night that you see the coolest things - deer everywhere, raccoons, coyotes, even a mountain lion once. I'm not certain which of us was most startled. Normally, the animals never see me move past, but I was shocked by the mountain lion that I came to an abrupt stop and we just kind of stared at one another before taking off in separate directions. Of course, my parents freaked when I told them the rumors about mountain lions still roaming these parts was true. I never did admit how I happened across one at two in the morning.

When I reach the castle, I enter through the back kitchen door, not surprised to find Dodd sitting at the kitchen table, sharpening knives. And these aren't your garden variety kitchen knives either - they have fancy silver handles and they look as if they could actually cut through my skin if he felt like giving it a try. He's nuts. That's the conclusion I've come to. Lex's cook is certifiable.

He says nothing to me as I move past him, just continues sharpening his knives, flashing me a quick look that clearly says I'm breaking the rules. If he and my dad ever decided to become friends, I'd be in serious trouble. I know Dodd likes me, but he also believes in rules. Obviously, I never should have explained the guidelines mom and dad gave Lex and I regarding our relationship.

Besides, tonight I have a reason for being here. A valid one.

Sticking my tongue out at him good-naturedly as I exit the kitchen, I hurry up the few flights of stairs to the third floor, then down the hall five doors, to the huge double-doors on my left. I could find my way to Lex's bedroom with my eyes closed, and not just because I'm an alien either. Lex's favorite room in the castle might be his study, but I prefer his bedroom. And not because of what we do in there, either. No, it's more of a general feeling really. It's always warm, with an enormous stone fireplace, and the bed is huge and raised and covered in thick blankets that practically beg you to burrow yourself deep inside, and there is a line of French doors that lead out onto a balcony and when the curtains are open, you can see out across the property of the estate to the woods. It's gorgeous. I don't even mind the old paintings of half-naked women on the walls anymore.

Hugging the package tucked in my arm close to me, I quietly open the left door and slip inside. The light beside Lex's bed is on low and Lex is asleep, with papers and files scattered all around the bed. I can't help but smile; it isn't the first time I've found him like this. Lex tends to work until he just can't anymore and he passes out from exhaustion. He's been extra busy this week in preparation for conferences and meetings over the next two weeks. Most of the time I've been at the castle the past few days has been spent watching him work while I read or try to teach myself chess. Which I suck at, by the way.

Placing my package on the nightstand, I carefully lean over Lex and remove the papers and files, stacking them all together and carrying them over to the table where his briefcase lays open. I put them inside and close it, then head back to the bed where I strip down to my panties before climbing in beside him. It's probably wrong of me, but I love coming over when Lex is asleep - it gives me the chance to stare at him without receiving the typical disapproving looks he likes to flash me. I've never understood why it is completely right and acceptable for him to stare at me, but I can't do that same.

Lex is beautiful, and maybe that's not a good description for a guy but it is the only description for him. He has skin that 99% of all girls I know would kill for and though he appears to be very slender, he's actually in extremely good shape. He's mostly muscle and deceptively strong. But then, I've learned over the months that most of the important facets of Lex are very well hidden. He never lets on how smart he truly is - most people think his father bought his way through school quickly, and that all of his troubles in school were caused by an inability to want to learn. I think it was mostly boredom. Lex is smarter than most people I know, probably learned early on that the people attempting to teach him anything were complete idiots, and gave up on the educational system. But he doesn't appear to want people to know that. If they make the mistake of prejudging him, and believing that everything in his life is handed to him by his father, then he doesn't attempt to alter those preconceived notions.

I think it's those little deceptions that cause my dad not to trust Lex. Oh, they get along much better now than they used to, but the more I watch Lex, the more I study him up close, the more I see how deceiving he truly is. It's not a purposeful deception - more of a protective one. If people judge him fairly from the beginning, then Lex will treat them fairly in return. But I've seen first hand what can happen to those who misjudge him, who overlook those strengths of his he so effectively hides. It's like his strength - you're going to have to catch him off-guard if you want to stand a chance against him. If he's ready for you, you don't have a chance in hell. I think he acquired that ability from years of struggling against his father. From the stories I've heard, Lionel Luthor seems to be one step ahead of everyone all of the time. Lex has been forced to adapt. I sometimes wish I could change that, wish that I could make Lex understand that he doesn't have to be so on-guard with absolutely every person that he meets. But it's a behavior that imbedded deep inside, and I don't know if anyone will ever be able to make it go away. Hence my dad's concern.

I should probably be worried too, but I'm not really. No one else sees how he is with me - opening doors and pulling out chairs and blessing me when I sneeze. He always worries about my comfort, spoils me rotten, treats me like I'm something fragile that could break at any moment. I wish I could tell him otherwise. I wish I could tell him everything. And every moment of every day I'm tempted to do just that.

So why don't I?

Because occasionally, just once every so often, I catch him looking at me, studying me, like a bug under a microscope. It doesn't always happen, usually I can just shrug it away to his unending curiosity. But there are moments. there are times when I can't get out of my head all of those fears my parents have instilled in me over the years. Worry about what could happen to my family if the wrong person learned the truth, what could happen to me. And I'm not really afraid of Lex - I don't think he'd ever hurt me intentionally. It was what my mom said that comes back to me though, how there are people Lex associates with, people like Roger Nixon, who would and could hurt me. Hurt mom and dad. Maybe even hurt Lex. And those are the moments that push aside any desire I have to be completely honest with him. I know that I will have to one day - it's what Lex deserves, to hear the truth. For now though, I'm just not brave enough to give him that.

Don't think it isn't eating away at me. Don't think I'm not feeling all guilty and yucky because I keep lying to the man I love. Lex deserves better than that - so much better. And maybe that's why I go out of my way to give him everything else that I can. Maybe that's the reason I sneak out of the house late at night, risking the wrath of my parents, just to see him, to spend time with him.

Or it could be something else.

The sheet is just barely over his hips, one hand resting to his side, the other over his stomach. I lean over and kiss his abdomen lightly before pushing the sheet lower, allowing me access to his hipbone that I can't help but trace the outline of with my tongue. Chloe's nagging question as to whether or not Lex is hairless everywhere was finally answered a few weeks ago. He is. and he isn't. There are a few very fine blonde hairs here and there, almost like down. They're scattered over his groin, a few over the tops of his thighs and all that exists of his eyebrows and eyelashes. Lex explained to me the doctors theorized after the meteor shower that the radiation didn't seem to affect the very pale hairs. I really don't care about the explanation - I think it's gorgeous. Maybe some people would think it weird and freaky to have a practically hairless boyfriend. I think it's weird and freaky to have one that looks like an ape. Who knows? Maybe it's a preference of my people or something. I think Lex is perfect.

Nudging my nose along the crease where thigh meets hip, I watch as Lex's cock twitches and awakens as I near. I've recently discovered a new joy in just laying here and staring at Lex's body. Maybe I'm fascinated by his penis. Lex laughs at my curiosity but I can't help it. I want to know everything - why it does what it does and what touches make it react the most. How sometimes I can just stare at it and it will darken and lengthen and grow right in front of my gaze. And other times I can stroke and touch and grip and Lex will sigh with boredom. How could I not be enthralled?

Beneath my hand on his thigh, I can feel Lex's body stiffen slightly, and I know he's awake. He does that - wakes up fully in an instant, immediately alert. The only time I've ever seen Lex not completely alert was just after the tornado, and that had me terrified.

"I thought I told you not to come over."

No hello. Just a reprimand. I can't help but smile as I lay my head against his stomach, my fingers drifting over the slight sprinkling of pale hairs around the base of his cock. "And I thought I told you that I would do whatever I pleased."

"Brat." I feel his hand against my head, his fingers threading through my hair. He pets me for a moment, shifting slightly beneath me. "When did you get here?"

"A few minutes ago. Have you been asleep long?" Lex has been having trouble sleeping all summer - nightmares about Nixon keep plaguing him. It's another reason I try to come over, just so he'll have someone near by.

I feel his hand move as he checks his watch. "The last time I looked, it was just past eleven. An hour, I guess."

I try to ignore the feeling of guilt for not letting him sleep longer. After placing a quick kiss against his groin, I turn my head so that I can look at him. "You don't really have to leave tomorrow, do you?"

"I'm afraid so, Angel." His fingers move over my cheek and down to my lips and I kiss them. "I'll call you every day."

"Promise?"

Lex smiles at me and then his hand curls around the back of my neck and he tugs me upwards. His lips are soft and warm and inviting and I can't suppress the sigh of contentment as his tongue pushes past into my mouth, lapping at my pallet and brushing over my lips. It's a slow, lazy kiss, the kind where it seems like we have all the time in the world just to taste and explore one another. I love it when Lex kisses me like this; my insides turn to mush. I become total and complete goo. It doesn't help when I feel his fingers brush over my breast, back and forth, teasing the nipple until all my body wants is something more substantial - his mouth, his fingers, anything to make the ache go away. Or maybe make it stronger. I can never really decide what I like more.

His arm slips around my back and presses me against him, his body all hard and soft at the same time. Lex has taught me that there is no feeling more incredible in the entire world than sleeping naked, against one another. At first, I worried that by sleeping with Lex, I might one night wake up floating, just as I've done before at home. Apparently I don't need to worry about that though - when I'm with Lex, curled against him, I'm dead to the world. Another tornado could probably tear through the castle and I wouldn't wake up. Lex says he's never seen anything like it. I guess I'm just really comfortable.

Pulling away from my mouth, Lex gives me one more quick kiss before his fingers begin threading through my hair again. "I wish I could take you with me."

Tomorrow he's leaving for Russia where he's working on a contract with the government to supply their farms with fertilizer. If he gets it, it'll be a huge deal. Unfortunately, he'll be going directly from that to a business conference in Metropolis. I might have been able to convince my parents to let me visit but it's the week before school starts and there is a lot to get done around the farm plus school shopping. It'll be a full two weeks that he'll be gone, and he's never been gone that long in any of the time since we first met. In fact, the anniversary of the day we met is coming up. Luckily, he'll be back in time for that.

"Maybe I could just stow away in your suitcase," I suggest.

Lex flashes me a small smile. He made a comment a few weeks ago about taking me to Russia with him for a trip if the contract goes through. I'm still trying to figure out how he's going to convince my parents of that one.

"Oh! I have something for you."

I scramble up from my position against him to grab the box from the nightstand, curling my legs beneath me and setting it between us on the mattress. Lex leans up on one arm, staring at the package for a moment before finally sitting up.

The idea came to me earlier in the summer but I hadn't been able to really work on it until this past month. I'd been helping Lex clean up in the study after the tornado and discovered an old picture of him and his mother. It should have been in a photo album, protected. But Lex didn't keep photo albums.

I spoke with Dodd about it a few weeks later and, when Lex was at work, began coming over in the mornings to search through the storerooms where things like boxes of old photos might be kept. Eventually, I found some. There weren't many pictures of Lillian Luthor to be found, but there were a few. Some of her from high school and college, a couple of wedding pictures with a short-haired Lionel -- which was beyond strange - and others of her and Lex when he was little. I took them all with me, bought a kit to make a photo album and spent the last few weeks putting it together. There weren't enough pictures to fill it, but I thought maybe he had a few more that he could add later.

I watch him expectantly as he finally removes the lid. Of course, I'm terrified that he'll hate it. Lex has this thing about people prying into his past, intruding on memories that he wants to keep to himself. Especially when it comes to his mother. Hopefully, by now he realizes I have no intention of taking those memories from him.

Lex lifts the album from the box, saying nothing, his expression not changing one bit from the bland, bored look I've become accustomed to. It's Lex's poker face. I hate it, and I hate it when it appears because that always means he's bottling everything up inside, hiding from the world, and those are usually the moments when he should be most open and honest. I'm afraid that one day his poker face will be all that's left.

He flips through the pictures quietly, slowly, his gaze scanning each one. Fidgeting nervously, I finally have to speak.

"I thought you needed to protect the memory of your mother, to have something to look at in the future. Pictures are important for that."

"Are they?" He asks quietly before finally raising his gaze to mine. Lex regards me for a long, silent moment and I'm terrified that I've really angered him. Eventually, he reaches out and touches my cheek. "Thank you."

I give him a smile, wishing that I knew what he was thinking. "You're welcome."

Watching me a moment longer, Lex suddenly reaches across from me and opens the drawer of his nightstand. I watch curiously as he pulls out a photo. Glancing over it, I realize it is the photo he took of me a week before on our picnic together. I didn't even know he'd had it printed.

He slips it into the page behind the last photo of his mother and him together, then looks up at me. "I'm protecting a memory."

His words make something inside of me ache and I don't know why. Leaning across the gap between us, I kiss him deeply, hoping to silently convey how much it means to me, my picture being in the same special place as his mothers. I feel Lex move against me as he slides the album and box back onto the nightstand. And then he is pressing me back against the mattress and his touch and his scent and everything that defines him erases the inexplicable pain that briefly swept over me.

"Will you miss me?" His words whisper against my mouth.

"You'll never know how much," I reply as Lex kisses the corner of my mouth.

I feel him smile against my skin. "Then I'd better leave you with something to remember me by. "

A smile crosses my face as he slides down my body, kissing my breasts, my belly, letting loose the thousands of butterflies that flutter around all inside of me.

I know it's silly - it's only two weeks.

But why do I feel like we're saying goodbye?