When Love Takes You In

Author's Notes: So… after we saw 'Brokeback' again on Friday, my friend and I had a Jake Gyllenhaal marathon… we already had our Heath Ledger one. I got to see 'Donnie Darko' (director's cut) and I have fallen in love with this movie. It makes me sad because I didn't know about it when it first came out. I would have been such a big fan even then. Now… even since 'Brokeback' I've still mostly just been a Heath fan… never really cared much about Jake (don't hurt me!), but…. Gosh darn it if 'Donnie Darko' isn't making me into a Jake fan.

Chapter Eight

Jack didn't go back down to Texas. He ended up taking the job at the ranch that Ennis had mentioned.

He called Lureen and told her to save the truck for Bobby. She told him that her father's lawyer still wanted to speak with him and gave him a phone number. Jack spoke with the lawyer, Mr. Fergus, over the phone and Mr. Fergus agreed to travel to Wyoming. Jack couldn't help but wonder what must be so important for the lawyer to travel so far on behalf of a dead client.

As for Jack and Ennis's sex life, it went back to how it was before the cast was taken off. Jack was mighty frustrated by it and he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel guilty. He wanted to be the man that he felt Ennis deserved.

Ennis was more worried about Jack's well being than he was about sex. The fact that Jack couldn't see that was something that frustrated him deeply. He also missed their old roles in the relationship. Ennis was always one tough bird to the outside world and never showed much emotion. But in best with Jack used to be different. Jack had always been the one to reassure Ennis and tell him that everything would be okay. Ennis missed being held by Jack in the night, though he also liked being able to assure Jack in his own time of need. He longed for the day when Jack would be alright. He wasn't dimwitted enough to expect Jack to be the same, but it pained him to see Jack so frightened. That one night they'd started to go at it would always haunt him.

A week came when Ennis and Jack had a couple of days off of work and Ennis decided that they needed to get away from the world. So when they both got home after work, he packed their bags and told Jack to get in the truck.

"Where do you the we're goin'?"

"On a little fishin' trip. Just you and me and the mountains." Ennis told him. Jack's face lit up.

"That, Cowboy, is prolly the bet idea you've had in a long time." Jack said as he hopped into the truck. Ennis loaded their supplies and they headed off.

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They went to the same spot they had gone to after their four years apart so long ago.

"I figure… this is where we began a chapter of our lives one time… and now with us bein' together, it's like we're startin' a new one again. Seems fittin' we should be here." Ennis explained, looking down so the rim of his hat hid his face from Jack.

"Friend, that's likely the most romantic thing you've probably ever said or done." Jack smiled at him. He was rewarded with a grin from Ennis and a light shove to his shoulders.

After they set up camp, they surprised themselves and actually decided to do some fishing for once. They discovered a new comfort with living together and didn't feel that lustful urgency they once did. They had moved to a new plateau together in their relationship. A patient love that they couldn't afford before when there was never enough time.

"Holy shit, Jack. I didn't know you could fish." Ennis said with fake surprise when Jack pulled a nice sized trout from the water.

"That's funny…. Cuz I ain't the one with a bucket full o' babies that I gotta throw back." Jack made his point. Ennis didn't seem to be having much luck and none of his fish were big enough to use for food. They could get by on Jack's catch, though.

After dinner, they settled down by the fire with a bottle of whiskey. Ennis was sitting with his back against a large log and Jack was right in front of him, back pressed to Ennis's chest and his head on Ennis's shoulder.

"Let's never stop this." Jack said quietly, taking a swig of the drink and handing it off to Ennis.

"We gotta go back to work, though."

"No, I mean… let's still come out for fishin' trips even though we don't need them as an excuse to see each other no more."

"Alright. I like that idea." Ennis nodded. He took a few chugs from the bottle before Jack gently pulled it away from him.

"You'll wanna slow down there, Ennis. Ain't no race we got here." Jack smiled at him. Ennis grinned sheepishly.

"Thirstier 'n I thought." was his reply.

"Well, we got more than just whiskey."

"What are ya meanin' to say?" Ennis took offense.

"Nothin'. Just if yer really thirsty, we got some water too. Just whisky will give ya a hangover like nobody's business." Jack scooted so he was facing Ennis. Ennis shrugged lightly and stretched to the cooler for one of the jugs of water they brought.

"I ain't no lightweight, ya know." He mumbled before lifting the jug for a drink.

"The hell you ain't." Jack chuckled, leaning back to his original position. "Remember last week?"

"Hell, Jack. You was as drunk as me."

"No. As I remember it, I had to drag your sorry ass all the way into the house."

"That's not how I remember it." Ennis said.

"And how do you remember it?" Jack asked with an amused smile. He waited for Ennis's answer, tilting his head up to see Ennis's eyes squinted while he tried to think.

"Well, I… I don't rightly remember. How the hell did we get home?"

Jack started laughing, a full belly laugh that Ennis hadn't heard in so long and it filled him with such a warmth. He wanted to remember that laugh for as long as he lived.

"Very carefully. I wasn't in the right shape for driving, but you couldn't barely even walk. I'm amazed I got that truck home as well as I did." Jack was oblivious to the loving gaze coming from Ennis.

"… you tired?" Ennis suddenly asked. Jack paused.

"No, not particularly." Then he felt a small nibble on his ear and a jolt went straight to his groin area.

"Tired yet?"

"Yep… gettin' there." Jack stood and pulled Ennis up by his shirt collar. They practically fell into the tent on the bedroll.

"Ennis, I want to try again." Jack panted between kisses. He unbuttoned his pants eagerly. Ennis backed off a little bit when Jack said this. Jack was then confused by the change in Ennis.

"Jack, I don't wanna see that look in your eyes again. Let's just keep it like it is. I can't see you scared." Ennis said calmly. Jack leaned in again and kissed Ennis.

"So let's turn it around. We ain't done that in a long time." And Jack said that in such a lustful tone that Ennis readily agreed with no thought to it. Truth be told, he did like bottom just as much as top, but always felt as if top was the role he was supposed to play in life.

Playfully, Jack pushed Ennis to the ground and pulled him up to his knees. He draped is own body over Ennis and blew lightly on the back of Ennis's neck. Ennis shuddered lightly with desire. Jack's hands went under Ennis's shirt and softly caressed the skin from shoulders to waist. He grinned wickedly as Ennis squirmed under Jack's touch.

"Jaaack…" Ennis pleaded, looking back at the man who had him almost ready to beg for him.

That voice and that look was all Jack needed. He ripped off his own pants and then pulled Ennis's down to his knees. Then he slickened himself up and dove in.

Ennis grunted in a mixture of pain and pleasure. Jack wrapped his arms around Ennis's waist, getting as close as possible, the two bodies becoming one entity. Jack started gentle, both of them moving together in perfect harmony. The pace got faster and Jack thrusted harder, barely any noise being made except for their grunts and gasps for air.

In an instant, Jack's manner changed. Ennis felt it and said nothing. He didn't know if Jack even realized the words that began spilling from his mouth.

"Bastards…. Ain't right…" Jack muttered under his breath. Ennis lost his erection right there and the activities turned from pleasurable to painful as Jack continued harder and faster than before. Ennis never moved to stop him, knowing that Jack needed this release.

"…. you've ruined me forever." The words that Jack came to and the words that broke Ennis's heart. Jack pulled out and collapsed on the bedroll, Ennis catching him in his warm embrace and holding him tight.

"Jack, my Jack. It's alright. You're here with me. It's alright." He repeated his mantra into the night until Jack fell asleep.

When he was sure that Jack wouldn't wake up, he pulled his arms back and sat up. He took one last look at Jack before pulling his pants up and crawling out of the tent. He sat gingerly on the log next to the barely burning embers left from their fire and he reached for the water jug. He glanced at it before changing his mind and picking up the whiskey bottle that had been discarded earlier.

With all the thoughts he had running through his mind, the bottle was empty before he realized it. He grew frustrated and angry and took it out on the empty bottle. He threw it against the nearest tree, losing his balance and falling flat on his back. He pushed himself up on his knees and curled into a sitting fetal position, crying silently.

"I don't know how to help you, Jack Twist."

He stayed there for what felt like hours, though it was only a matter of minutes, before he stood unsteadily and made his way back into the tent. He fell limply and passed into a deep, drunken sleep before his body hid the ground. He never noticed Jack reach out to embrace him. He never knew the breaking of the glass had startled Jack awake and he'd listened to Ennis's cries.

"I don't know how either. I'd rather save you." Jack whispered before he too fell back asleep.

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The next morning began in silence, each man lost within his own thought.s Ennis also had one hell of a hangover from drinking the rest of that whiskey and he wanted to hide that from Jack. He'd gotten up early to lean up all the broken glass by the tree to erase the evidence.

He couldn't get Jack out of his head. Not just Jack, but the whole damn situation. He knew the term for what happened to Jack was 'rape' but he'd always thought that only women were raped. He knew it was screwing badly with Jack's mind, he could see that every day in Jack's face. God help him, Ennis had no idea what one would go through to get over something like that.

Jack also had thoughts of the night before. He didn't mean to lose it while he was in Ennis. He knew he had to have caused some sort of hurt, seeing as there was dried blood on his dick when he woke up. He tried to watch and see if Ennis was moving funny, but Ennis barely moved at all that morning. Just stood under a large tree, leaning against the trunk. It was cool and shady under there, Jack imagined Ennis was nursing one mighty hangover from last night.

He knew that Ennis drank the rest of the bottle of whiskey last night, but he wasn't going to say nothing about it just like Ennis wasn't going to say anything about last night.

"Ennis! Want some of this breakfast?" Jack lifted the pan from the fire he'd been cooking over. He watched as Ennis bent over slightly, probably checking his stomach to see if he could hold food down. Then he pushed off from the tree and that's when Jack spotted it. Ennis's walk was a little stiff and slow.

"Well, c'mon now. Sit." Jack urged, seeing how far Ennis was going to go to keep Jack from knowing he'd hurt him.

Ennis chewed his lower lip as he contemplated the log by the fire where Jack was sitting. With an audible grunt, he finally lowered himself down on the log.

"Ya alright?" Jack asked. Ennis nodded and grimaced at the shooting pain it sent through his head.

"Jus' fine." He lowered his hat a little more and looked at the breakfast Jack had prepared.

"What is it?" Ennis asked.

"Scrambled eggs."

"That's scrambled eggs? Nuh uh… no way did that come from eggs." Ennis said in disbelief.

"Well, you can cook supper tonight then." Jack quipped. Ennis chuckled lightly and just as always, they fell into comfortable conversation… forgetting all their worries again for a little while.

End chapter