This is chapter 3 already! I'd really like to know what you guys think of it, so please review! This is my first long fic, I hope you all like it!
3. Pure passion
'And? Did she buy it?', Bryan asked when Holly re-entered the room after her conversation with Kate.
'She didn't hesitate.', Holly replied with a sigh, letting herself drop down on one of the plastic chairs.
'That's good, right?', Wesley asked, and Holly nodded.
'This is the best thing to do.', she said, trying to convince herself that it was true what she was saying.
Jennifer was really awkwardly quiet. How would she ever be able to live with this.. this sin? They had heard from Cordelia, who stopped by one second before she went outside to call Helen about what happened, how bad it was with Anna. Everyone was shocked, astonished, and Jenny felt like she was choking, the guilt squeezed her throat tight shit like invisible iron fingers.
Would it ever stop, she wondered.
'Where's Liam?', Bryan asked, noticing for the first time that Liam wasn't there.
'I think his parents took him home, he was pretty upset. In a shock.', Holly replied.
'Perhaps we should go home as well.', Wesley proposed.
'There is nothing we can do right now, and the children need rest. We both need rest too, it's quite late.'.
Holly nodded and smiled sweetly at him.
'That's a good idea, Wes. Come on Jenny, Bryan.'.
They all got up, each of them tangled in their own web of thoughts. It was only then that Jennifer realised that she was really exhausted. All she wanted right now was a warm, comfortable bed.
Or, she wanted to go back to yesterday, when this all had never happened yet.
In the following few months, Angel and Cordelia spent every single evening in the hospital.
Anna didn't seem to improve well.
In fact, she didn't seem to improve at all.
It worried Angel, because Dr. Michaels had said that she should be able to move her arms again, but then why wasn't that happening yet?
Apparently, the doctor was worried as well, because on a certain night, he invited Cordy and Angel into his office again.
'She's not improving.', Angel said, and the doctor nodded.
'Which is why you are here. Yesterday, we examined Anna again, a second opinion.'.
'And?', Cordelia asked impatiently.
'Well, according to the results of the examination, we found out that there is absolutely no 'medical' reason for the fact why Anna can't move her arms yet.'.
'No medical reason... Then what reason is there?', was Angel's question.
'We assume it to be mental.', Dr. Michaels said. 'You said she used to dance, right?'.
Angel and Cordelia nodded both at the same time.
'How important was that to her?'.
'Very. She lived for it. It was like.. a religion to her. She gave her whole heart, body, and soul. Sometimes she continued until her feet were bleeding!', Angel said, a tiny part of his mind wondering if maybe it was good that such things wouldn't happen anymore now. But then he felt guilty. He should want what Anna wants. Right?
'Aha! Exactly! Her whole life was dancing, but now she can't do it anymore...', the doctor said, glad to have found a cause for Anna's problem. 'She thinks she no longer has a reason to live!', Cordy finished the sentence.
'But she does! I mean, she doesn't have to dance to be happy! She has us, and.. and.. and.. she can go back to a normal high-school when she has recovered, and maybe go to college after that!', Angel summed up. 'Maybe even have another hobby.
It made Cordelia wonder if he actually believed in that.
He didn't. In fact, he wasn't.
He was just getting his hopes up.
Of course Angel knew a 'normal' life for his daughter wouldn't work out. He gloomed with pride.
His girl was extraordinary.
'I suggest that she talks to a psychologist, we continue the therapy, make it better, if possible, and I may have a friend for her. ', Dr. Michaels told them. He was very willing to help these nice people. He liked Anna too, and he was curious for the girl she used to be.
'A friend?', Angel asked.
'There is a boy around here, Josh Harris. He had a ski accident several months ago. He's in a wheelchair ,and will be forever, but I tell you, that boy is 'Unbelievable ' with a big capital!', the doctor said enthusiastically. 'I'm planning to let him pay Anna a visit soon.'.
'We have to try everything..', Angel gave in, not happy with his daughter getting visits from a strange boy. But he set his jealousy aside for now, because no matter what he wanted to help Anna become better.
'We'll also do our best to help her as much as we can.', Cordy said.
Dr. Michaels nodded in agreement. 'Very well. But, Mr and Mrs. Chase, don't you worry. I assure you Anna will 'not' leave this hospital before she can move her arms!', he promised them with a warm and kind smile.
'I hope you're right.', was Angel's comment. He got up slowly, leaving the office because his sudden need to brood in the dark, as always when things got harder.
'I'm sorry about that.', Cordy apologised for Angel's behaviour. 'He's just very worried. Anna's his.. 'our' only child, you know.'.
'I understand. He wouldn't be a good father if he would walk out of this door carelessly.
'Yea.. I suppose you're right.', she replied, and got up as well.
'I guess I'm going to go and see if he's okay.'.
The doctor and Cordy wished each other a good night, and she headed out. She considered doing as she told Dr. Michaels and go and find Angel, but decided that he'd probably rather be alone right now. There was nothing she could do for him at the moment anyway.
Slowly, she walked over to Anna's room at the hospital. She'd been there for so long now..
The annoying white walls were now decorated with pictures, and 'Get well soon' cards that she was rather thankful for, but which actually only depressed her more because she knew she would never get well.
On top of the chest of drawers by her bed were flowers, little presents, and a little porcelain ballerina. Cordy walked over and picked it up. She then glanced at Anna, who was fast asleep.
She wondered if the ballerina by her bed was actually good for Anna, it definitely wouldn't help her accept her handicap.
Slowly she turned the ballerina around in her hands. There was a smile on the face. One thing Cordy has learnt from Anna was; Ballerina's 'always' had to smile. No matter what.
Suddenly the porcelain ballerina made a shiver run down Cordy's spine and she quickly put it in one of the drawers. She walked over to the door, glanced over at her stepdaughter one more time, and walked out of the room.
She could use a drink.
The next morning early, Anna didn't even have breakfast yet, a boy in a wheelchair entered her room with an enormous speed.
'Who the hell are you!', Anna asked angrily. Her always happy and cheerful mood had disappeared after the accident. Now she was just mostly sad, grumpy, or painfully quiet and she definitely wasn't happy with a stranger paying a visit without asking. Of course the fact that it wasn't even 8 AM yet didn't help much either.
'Name's Josh.', the boy introduced himself with a grin, and turned a quite spectacular pirouette on the back-wheels of the wheelchair.
'And you're Anna.'.
'How dare you coming into my room without permission!', Anna said, not the slightest bit amused.
'Well, you can throw me out if you want to.. But I think that's going to be hard.', Josh laughed, gesturing towards her paralysed body parts.
'Jerk!'.
'Are you always so nice or is it just a hormone thing?', Josh wondered aloud.
'You are SO rude!'.
Josh smiled and wheeled over to the drawers next to Anna's bed.
'Hey, chocolate! I love chocolate! I don't suppose you'll be eating this any time soon?', he asked, but didn't wait for a answer and grabbed the chocolate bar.
'I don't suppose you'll be leaving me alone any time soon?', she asked through gritted teeth.
'Let me think.. nope! Way too much fun here! '.
'So.. whatcha say, angel, wanna go out for breakfast somewhere?', he joked with a fake horribly sounding southern accent.
'You pig!', Anna shouted. 'Are you blind too! Can't you see I can't move!'.
'Can't or won't?'.
'I'm ignoring you! You know what? I only know you for 5 minutes, but I already hate you! Now what does that say about you?'.
'Actually, noting, doll. What does it say about 'you' ?. Think about that.', he said with a wide smirk and wheeled over to the door.
'Thanks for the chocolate! See you soon goldilocks! '.
Anna sighed in relief when he was gone, but he did leave her behind confused. Who was he, what was he doing here, and what did he wants from her? 3 perfectly confusing, brain cracking questions.
That after noon Liam came by to visit. It wasn't the first time he did so, he often stopped by after dancing class. He was very worried about Anna, and also about them as a couple. She was no longer the girl he had fallen in love with since the accident.
Of course, he understood she had trouble recently after the accident. Her whole life had fallen apart completely! But she was young, she could do anything! Well, not anything.. But if she would work hard on her recovery she could be a lot better than she was now. Of course he didn't tell her this. And it was six months ago now!
Liam was extremely busy himself too. Helen had given him a major part in their upcoming performance of 'Coppelia', and he also still had high school and his job at a local garage to pay for the dancing classes.
A daily trip to the hospital didn't fit in well, he had to admit.
Yet Liam kept looking her up, he felt like he owed that to her, and he still did have feelings for her.
It was just different.
Different than it used to be.
Anna was different.
But she needed him, and he couldn't bear to leave her alone like this.
So.. vulnerable.
Liam just kept hoping she would still change, and become the girl again she used to be. His girl.
He entered the room and kissed Anna on the cheek.
'Hey.', he greeted her. 'How are you doing today?'. He sat down on a chair by her bed.
'Okay. The same.', Anna replied depressively. It wasn't that she was mean, rude, or even grumpy to Liam, but it was that she wasn't! He just wished that she was! It would be so much better than this! Now all she looked was lifeless, and heartbreakingly sad. Someone who knew the girl she used to be, the joyful, sparkling Anna, would find their hearts be ripped apart with taking just one single look at her.
Liam wished she would just get really upset, cry her eyes out, yell, scream, swear even.. Anything but this.
'What's it like at the ballet?', she asked. It was the only question she would ask when Liam, Helen, or someone else from the dance group would come to visit her.
'It's strange, without you. Empty. ', Liam answered, the same as always when she would ask him.
'Tell me more.'. Anna knew he probably found her a bore, but she needed to know. She couldn't let her former life go. Even paralysed, dancing was all she would, -and could-, think of . she could listen to the stories about it for hours and hours. Liam knew, and why would he refuse to bring some light in her dark, dark days?
'We will be dancing 'Coppelia' at the Christmas performance. The auditions for the female main part are tomorrow. '. .'.
'And the male main part?', Anna asked.
'They were last week. I got it.', he said with a slight blush.
A tiny little smile appeared on Anna's face.
'Congratulations.'.
The next day, Jennifer was in the gym extremely early, before the auditions.
Even before Helen got there!
She still felt extremely guilty for what she had caused, but Holly had been able to convince her this was the right thing to do.
And dancing.. .
Dancing had become really different without Anna. Jenny had always felt like she was in Anna's shadow, but now that shadow was gone.
She was bathing in sudden light!
Already changed into her training clothes and her toe shoes, she entered the empty gym, and started to dance the part for her audition.
She hadn't heard Helen coming in.
'This is it... This is what you've been working so hard for all these years.', Helen said when Jennifer had finished. She spoke the truth; she had never danced so well before.
Jenny looked up, startled. She was still sort of in trance of the moves.
'I didn't hear you come in.. How long have you been standing there?'.
'Long enough.', Helen replied. 'that was really good! In fact, it's the best I've ever seen you dance!', she said with a smile.
'You chose the right path, Jennifer.'.
A shiver ran down Jenny's back. It was like Helen knew exactly what was bothering her! Had she bared her soul to her while she was dancing with all her feelings? It was very scary.
'But dancing.. it's never been my passion..'.
'You've changed a lot lately. What you just did, what I just saw of you, that, honey, was pure passion.', Helen told her, meaning it. 'Maybe it became your passion without noticing'.
'Yea.. maybe.'.
'You'll do great with Liam in 'Coppelia', she then stated, already having made the decision that Jennifer would get the part.
'What?... Do you mean...'. Jennifer was confused, very confused. She really couldn't believe it yet.
'Yes.', her dance teacher smiled. 'You worked very hard and improved well. I'm proud of you, you deserve it.'.
A smile came across Jenny's lips. Helen was right, she did work very hard for it. She wanted to show her mom, her brother, and her friends that she could dance too! Not just Anna!
'I'll let the other girls audition still, but I already made my decision.', Helen said with a friendly wink, and Jennifer walked to the changing rooms. Once she arrived there and looked in the mirror, she started to realise what had just happened. She would dance 'Coppelia'! With Liam!
'What do you want this time?', Anna asked, not amused, when Josh entered her hospital room again that evening.
'Figured you could use some company.'.
'No. Not from you, anyway.', she assured him, wishing now very much that she could move her arms and hit him or something. Just by entering he had already pissed her off.
'Why, what's wrong with me then?', Josh informed.
'Where to start? I could fill all night with answering that question and still not be finished.'.
'And you still don't even know me.'.
'I don't feel tempted to do so, so don't worry about that.', Anna said angrily.
'O, I won't. I have more important things to worry about than you.', Josh told her with a broad smile.
'Just go.', Anna said. Her dad and Cordelia had called that they had a case so wouldn't be able to visit her tonight, and she felt lonely. Josh only made it worse. He just stared at her.
'Fine, I'll go.', his grin had suddenly fade away, and he was on his way to the door.
'Josh.. wait.!', Anna called out after him suddenly.
He turned to look at her.
'I guess you could ehm.. stay... if you want to.', she felt really lonely and maybe he wasn't 'that' bad. She could at least give him a chance.
Josh's eyes lit up.
'Sure . You would hardly survive the night without me.'.
'Has anyone ever told you your ego is bigger than 20 elephants?', Anna wondered.
'Not in those exact words.', he laughed, and Anna couldn't help but smile with him, just a little bit.
'so what do you do here, all day?', she asked him, trying to make some conversation.
'Lots. They have a great game-hall downstairs, and I try to keep up with school. The rest of the time I bug the doctors.'.
She smiled again, a little more already. 'I bet you're really good at that last part.'.
'Well, I'm still around.', he shrugged casually.
'Why, actually? You don't seem to need it.'.
'Neither do you.'.
'You're really blind aren't you! I'm paralysed!', Anna said, her anger returning.
'You don't have to be.', Josh told her.
'Yes, I do! '.
'I heard your arms aren't permanently paralysed at all. Maybe you just don't have enough willpower, or maybe you just like being pathetic.', he suggested with a glare.
'Excuse me! You have NO right to judge me at all!', Anna shouted, tears welling up in her eyes. She was getting angrier by the second. 'What does it matter if I can't dance anymore! Why would I care if my life is over anyway! ', she sobbed, finally releasing all the anger, the pain, that had been piled up inside of her during all these months.
Josh came closer to her.
'Hey.. don't cry..', he said hesitatingly. It was clearly shown on his face that he didn't know hot to handle such a situation, he was usually just being the clown.
His expression made Anna smile through her tears, a full smile this time.
'You're kind of a loser.'.
'Thanks'.
20
