Chapter Three

"What on earth is your grandma doing?" Helga demanded.

"Don't ask. It's her special recipe." Arnold's grandma was slicing watermelon with her hand and adding dead flies for extra seeds.

"You mean we're gonna eat that?" Helga cried out in horror.

"Arnold, you're home. And there's your little girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend," he mumbled through gritted teeth.

"Time for your lesson on karate. First, you must eye the prey. Watch and memorize its every move. Be the creature. Know what it will do next. Then strike!" She squashed the fly and tasted it. "Hmm, needs a touch of salt."

Gagging, Helga raced into the bathroom to barf.

Suddenly, Arnold's grandpa stepped into the kitchen. "What's wrong with your little girlfriend?"

"She's throwing up."

"What did I tell you, Shortman? Never eat watermelon."

Helga threw open the bathroom door and marched up the flight of stairs in the boarding house. "Okay, where's my room?" she sighed.

The moment they arrived in Helga's new room, she unloaded her clothes all over her bed, scanning the place. The walls were sky blue, bordered with red flowers, and the floor was covered in a soft, navy blue carpet.

"It's a new room. My grandpa just recently hired some people to work on it," Arnold announced. "Anyway, finish unpacking and meet the boarders downstairs at five for dinner."

"Fine. Just make sure you don't get in my way once this whole visit. I wasn't planning on getting stuck with you and your stupid boarding house. You'd better not follow me or ask any questions, and most importantly, don't even THINK about getting all mushy."

"Don't worry. I wouldn't." Rolling his eyes, he closed the door behind her and left Helga sitting all alone in her new room.

"Oh, Arnold, why must I say such hurtful words? If I can't be kind to you, why must I open my mouth at all? That's it. From this moment forth, I will make your visit with me a wonderful experience, and whatever harsh thoughts that I may have will stay to myself, and my lips will be sealed. I've always waited for the day you and I could be together, living under the same roof, and I won't ruin it with my rotten remarks!"

Throwing open her own bedroom door, she made her way up the steps to Arnold's room and pounded on his. He twisted the knob and peeked out. "What do you want, Helga? Let me guess, to shout mean names and tell me how I'm doing everything wrong?"

"Actually...I...um...just wanted to say that..." This is it, Helga. Spill it. Just say you love him! she thought in a sweat. "I just wanted to remind you that I hate your guts and I'll be really happy when you're gone!"

'I thought we agreed not to bug each other! And for your information, I could say just the same about you!"

Furious, she slammed the door and trotted into her room. Plopping onto her bed, she groaned and kicked her suitcase in frustration.

"When will I confess my true feelings to he whom I admire so much? When will I stop taunting and teasing my beloved, and when, oh when, will he, if ever, return my strong feelings of adoration? Will I forever harbor these thoughts and feelings at the bottom of my heart?"

Suddenly, Brainy popped out from underneath the bed. Too shocked to whack him, she leapt backward. "Okay, Brainy, I can understand stalking me from around the corner, or even hiding in a dumpster, but WHAT in the WORLD are you doing hiding under my bed? Why do you follow me so much? Are you just waiting for the perfect evidence of my love for Arnold so you can tell the world?"

But Brainy didn't answer. Instead, breathing heavily, he tiptoed into the hallway and quietly closed the door. Helga shook her head. "Weird kid."