Hey chapter 4 is up now! Thanks all for reading, pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase review!


4. The Greatest Gift

From that night on Josh and Anna had become friends. He was the only one who could make her smile, and Angel was relieved to notice the change. Everyone was. But unfortunately, nothing had changed in Anna's medical state. It worried everyone. Except Josh, he was just as relaxed as always, not letting anything bother him. This night he was sitting at the television room, watching a movie.

'The' movie.

'Red Shoes'.

As soon as he finished watching he turned off the television and wheeled into Anna's room.

'I just watched a really cool movie on TV!', he said enthusiastically.

Anna looked up at him.

'Oh..', she said, not interested in an ordinary movie.

Josh observed her meanwhile, and soon came to the conclusion that she looked nice, in her light-blue nightgown with her long blond hair, blond with the colours of the sunrise in it, in a French braid. He seriously had trouble keeping his eyes off her.

'Which movie?', she eventually asked.

'Red Shoes'.

Anna turned pale. It used to be her favourite movie! When she first saw that movie, as a little girl, she decided she wanted to be a prima ballerina. She'd learned so much from it: moves, poses, attitudes.. Everything! Hearing Josh talk about it as if it was 'just' a movie actually hurt her. It was 'her' movie! 'Her' movie. 'Her' dancing.

Josh noticed she suddenly turned pale. 'Are you okay? Should I go and g et a doctor?'.

There was a long silence.

'I used to dance.', Anna said, very suddenly, breaking the what seemed like an eternal silence. She had know idea where that came from all of a sudden. She had had no intention to tell him before. Ballet, that belonged to a different life now. It didn't look like it belonged to her at all! Or ever had done.

'Really? ', was Josh's reaction. He started to understand why Anna didn't improve.

'I like dancing!', he then said.

'Well, I won't do it anymore now, will I?', Anna said quietly.

'O, but you will! ', he said, clearly convinced of his own words. 'Knowing' that she could do it again. And would.

'You 'will' dance again, Anna. I want to see you dance.'.

Anna wished she could believe him. But dancing...

Dancing, was from a different life.

Not her life.

Anna's physical condition was a big question mark to all of her doctor's. They had tried everything. The nurse had put a tray with food in front of her so she would have to eat it by herself.

It didn't work.

Nothing seemed to work.

However, they didn't give up.

And neither did Josh.

He held ice-cream in front of her, beautiful gifts, and everything he could think of, hoping desperately that she would grab it.

'What's this?', he asked her once when he found the little ballerina in one of her drawers. It had been there since Cordy put it in.

Anna swallowed hard. That little, porcelain ballerina meant a lot to her. It symbolised her former life. The life that wouldn't return. Ever.

'Nothing..', she answered, trying to sound like it was indeed 'nothing'. But she was a bad liar.

'It looks like it's more than 'nothing', if you ask me.', Josh replied, studying the expression on her face.

'Catch!', he suddenly exclaimed, throwing the ballerina towards her, and in a reflex, she caught it! With both hands!

Anna was unaware of what she just did until she felt the colt porcelain in the palm of her once paralysed hand.

She could feel again! For the first time in months she actually held something! Confused, and not completely realising it yet, she stared at Josh in happy shock. He grinned at her, very self confidant, as always.

'Good reflexes. '.

No reply, Anna could just stare.

'It's late, I'm going to call it a night. We'll have breakfast tomorrow morning together, okay? You'll make your own sandwiches then!', he laughed, and left her room.

He always did like a spectacular ending.

Anna smiled, she never knew she could do it. Never thought she would. But yet she did, and Josh made her realise that.

The next morning, as promised, Josh took her to the little cafeteria downstairs. The nurse had helped her in a wheelchair, and that was for the first time in months Anna got out of bed.

Last night had been extremely busy. When a nurse found out she could move her arms again, she had immediately informed the doctors, and within seconds, Anna's bed was surrounded by physicians. Of course later on they were joined by Angel and Cordelia, and later even Wesley, Holly, Fred, and Gunn.

Anna had never seen them so thrilled!

'Good to eat on your own, isn't it?', Josh asked her with that o-so-famous smirk of him and a twinkle in his eyes. Anna had never noticed the twinkle in his eyes before, and suddenly found that he had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen.

She smiled at Josh. 'Yea.. it's good.'.

It wasn't just Josh and his eyes, she re-discovered many, many things that had been lost in the dark after the accident. Like the taste of jus d'orange, the delightful sky with thick, fancy clouds. Live seemed so good all of a sudden. How could she have forgotten? Yet, one thing was missing.

Dancing.

The weeks after t hat were very exciting. Anna kept improving, and Angel made sure she got a second opinion. She got one, and after two long weeks finally got the results from Dr. Michaels himself.

On a cloudy after noon when both Cordy and Angel were sitting around Anna's bed, he entered, for the first time not with a blank expression but with an actual smile.

'I have good news.', he announced.

Anna was sitting up in the hospital bed, talking with Cordelia about a new Gucci-top she had bought.

Angel wasn't interested in Gucci-tops, so noticed the doctor's entrance first.

'Yes? We could use some.', he said.

'I have the results from the second opinion.'.

Anna exchanged a nervous glance wit her father.

'And?'.

'And, I have some very surprising results. After checking, and re-checking everything, me, and my colleagues all came to the same conclusion: we may have not noticed something before, but fortunately we see now, that with a certain surgery, I very 'difficult' surgery, I must say, it may be possible for Anna here to walk again. '.

Cordy and Angel's eyes lit up.

'Are you serious!', Cordy exclaimed. She was seriously ready to kiss the guy, which proved how happy she was, because Dr. Michaels wasn't a very kissable man, to be exact.

Anna smiled, which was still rare, even though her friendship with Josh made it no longer extremely seldom. This time it was a real smile, a broad smile. Her eyes twinkled like stars in a bright sky.

'Will I be able to dance again?'. She hardly dared to ask the question. Hope sounded through in her soft voice. Maybe her life wasn't completely over yet!

There was still hope.

'Yes, if everything will work out the way we expect it to, that should indeed be possible.', Dr. Michaels smiled. He liked Anna, and her parents a lot, they looked, despite the tragedy, happy and close.

It was obvious that Angel was thrilled! Maybe his little girl would be able to walk again! But, however, he wanted to make sure it was no false hope.

'Didn't you say it was a dangerous surgery?', he therefore asked.

'Daddy..', Anna said with a sigh, not wanting to bring an end to the happy daydream that just showed up in her mind.

'Anna we have to know!'. Angel returned his glance to the doctor.

'Well?'.

'It's not completely harmless, no.', Dr. Michaels admitted, scratching his head.

'But as you know we have some excellent doctors and surgeons in the hospital, and I expect everything to go well.'.

'so.. what are those risks then?', Cordelia asked, concerned.

'One of the main risks could be that her arms may become permanently paralysed, again. It's complicated, but it all has to do with certain nerves on the spinal cord.'.

Angel's eyes widened.

'I don't want that!'.

'Daddy!', Anna protested, her hope slightly slipping through her fingers again.

'I'll leave you alone to talk about it.', the doctor said with an understandable nod, and left them alone.

'You're not going to let them paralyse you any further, Anna!', Angel decided.

'But daddy!...'.

'No! It's just 'not' going to happen! '. He stood up, and headed out.

Cordelia followed him with a glance at Anna that silently promised her that she would talk to him.

And Anna sure hoped she would.

As always, Cordy kept her promise, because when they visited the next day, Angel was a lot calmer than before.

'I think we should talk.. about yesterday.', he said hesitant.

Cordelia smiled, happy to see him starting about this all by himself.

'It's my only chance, daddy.', Anna softly said.

'I know, baby.. I know. But what if it doesn't work and you become fully paralysed again?', Angel asked worriedly.

'I guess I'll just have to take that risk.'.

'Does dancing really mean 'that' much to you, Anna?'. He shot desperate looks at Cordy, but she purposely ignored him. They had had a serious talk the previous night about how devoted Anna had always been to the ballet. But they had also talked about the fact that Anna was now 17, and old enough to make her own decisions. Also about serious matters like this. Although, during that last part of the conversation, Cordy had talked, and Angel glared, disagreed silently, and avoided eye contact. Yet at the end of the discussion she had been able to convince him of her point of view.

'Yes, daddy. Dancing means 'that much' to me.'. Tears appeared in Anna's eyes.

'When I lived with Darla, it was the worst time of my life. She never gave me any love, or a sign of appreciation. However, there's one thing she did gave me. One thing, and that's the greatest gift I've ever had, daddy. Dancing.'.

The days after that were buys for Anna. She was being both physically and mentally prepared for the upcoming surgery. But she wasn't scared, or nervous at all. She had the utmost confidence in the doctors and surgeons, and if it shouldn't work out.. Well, then at least she knew she would have tried everything. Then maybe she would be able to finally get some rest. Maybe.

That night Anna told Josh, who strangely enough had stayed out of all the rumours.

'Remember that second opinion I got a few weeks back?', she asked him. They were, both in a wheel chair, sitting in the television room of the hospital. On tv was some stupid, not funny comedy they weren't really watching anyway.

'Yea. I remember. Got the results?'.

'Uh-uh..', Anna stared at the floor. Sure, she was very happy with the sudden new possibility, but she also felt very guilty...

Guilty, for being so lucky.

Josh would never had a chance like this! And he had been so much stronger and braver than she was! He hadn't been stubborn, or taking his depressed feelings out on everyone around him... He deserved this so much more than she did. It just wasn't fair... But then again, was there anything in this world that actually was fair?

'Was it that bad?', Josh asked her.

'No, not that bad... It was good.', she sniffed.

Josh smiled confused.

'Then what are you sad about, silly? What did the doctor say? ', he asked her.

'He says there's a surgery with which it should be possible to ehm... walk again.'.

'But Anna that's great!', he exclaimed.

'What are you crying for! '.

'Cause.. cause.. it's just not fair..', she softly said. 'I wish 'you' could walk again!'.

Josh smiled brightly and went closer to her.

'Silly girl! I'm used to the way I am. It's my destiny. But 'not' yours, Anna. You must dance, anyone can see that!'.

'You haven't even seen me dance!'.

'No, but it's in your soul, in your spirit! Even the greatest idiot like me could see that!', he laughed, and once more made Anna smile.

'I'm not sure if I could be able to dance, even if I could walk. These two things are very, very different, you know.'.

'I guess, but you'll dance again. You must. Promise me.'.

She smiled weakly. 'I promise.'.

And then, maybe to seal their promise, or maybe for other unspoken reasons too, Josh pulled Anna closer, and kissed her softly.

A promise was made.