Chapter Four

"Why, here's your dinner, Arnold. And Helga, aren't you just the sweetest thing?"

"Arnold, tell your grandma to put a cork in it," she mumbled, and Arnold frowned at her.

"Um, Grandma, there's a, um, sock in my soup." Arnold gagged as he took the tip of the fuzzy sock and pulled it out of his tomato soup, setting it carefully on the table by his plate.

"Oh, I'm remember now. Sorry, Arnold. I was having Kokoshka over here give me a nice foot massage-" Ernie explained.

"Yes, and if he hadn't offered a good twenty bucks for it, I wouldn't have even considered rubbing his grimy little toes."

"Anyway, I took my sock off and it must have landed in the soup. No big deal. A little hair won't hurt a fly."

"But your grandma will," Helga mumbled. Suddenly, she felt a tickle on her leg. She glanced under the table and found Abner. "Arnold, why is your muddy little pig sniffing my leg?"

Arnold laughed. "He likes you."

"Well tell him I DON'T LIKE HIM!"

"Okay, Abner, here, have my soup. Now get out of her, buddy. Shoo." He led Abner out of the dining room and set the soup outside.

"I can't believe I was eating hair and flies! YUCK!"

"Well, get used to it," Arnold shot back, "because you live here now."

"I'd rather eat old hamburgers out of a dumpster outside, Arnoldo!"

"Then go live outside and get out of my life," he mumbled.

Helga looked at him, shocked and enfuriated, and then turned away, trying to hide her guilt.

"Ha ha ha," Arnold's grandma laughed. "I remember when I was your age. Always going around scowling at everyone-"

"Grandma, you remembered something!" Arnold cried, shocked.

"Oh, yes, Arnold, I remember everything. Or do I? I don't remember. Anyway, I was so harsh. I used to play pranks on everybody, yell and scream and try to get my way, shake a fist at everyone that walked by... I was such a sweet little girl. Heck, there was one boy I particularly picked on, and he absolutely hated my guts. I wanted to tell him I liked him, but everytime I tried, I chickened out and started screaming at him and saying mean things."

Helga looked up, surprised. "Really? You did that?"

"Oh yes, all the time. Eventually, I got around to telling him."

"You told him? What was his reaction? Did he tell the whole school and you were the laughing stock for a year? Did you lock yourself up in your room and swear never to go back to school again?"

"Oh no. In fact, it went the other way."

"We got married," Arnold's grandpa finished for her.

Arnold choked on his milk, splattering it all over his plate. "YOU were the one Grandma picked on! And YOU were the one Grandpa was telling me about a long time ago!"

They nodded.

"And, Grandpa, you got MARRIED the girl that was always picking on you and making you mad!"

"Well, Shortman, I realized that sometimes how people act on the outside isn't always how they really are on the inside. She was really sweet deep down and cared about me a lot. I found out that when I needed help, she was always there to help me out, even though I hadn't noticed at first. She got older and more mature, and I found out how sweet she could be, and we got married."

Arnold's jaw dropped and he glanced at Helga in utter disbelief. "What?" she snarled, like nothing had happened.

"This has been a very inspiring story," Mr. Hyunh pitched in.

"Yes, very inspiring. I'm going to go to the baseball game next Saturday," Oscar announced. "Who wants to come?"

"I'll come," Ernie offered. "It's been awhile since the last time I sat in the stadium and ate hot dogs."

"Great. Then it's settled. We'll all go watch the baseball game and Ernie will pay."