So in the end, my girlfriend became my archenemy, my archenemy became my best friend, and my best friend became my girlfriend. But hey... it's high school.
But haven't you noticed that nothing ever stays peaceful? Or the same? Especially in soap operas. Everyone's always finding out they have an evil twin, getting pregnant, left at the altar, and dying, not necessarily in that order.
The world of superheroes is no different. Once on evil villain is vanquished forever, two or three more show up and at least one of them managed to resurrect the dead one in order to further their own world domination. Eventually they get killed by the guy who once was dead, so more take his place and resurrect him, starting the cycle all over again. Don't even get me started on the heroes. If one of us hasn't been blown up, cloned, cloned or exposed to our only weakness a million times by age twenty, then you're either dead or in early retirement, both of which tend to end once the latest death ray is threatening the city.
It's actually a lot like a soap opera.
The good thing about soap operas is that they're utterly predictable in their unpredictability. The producers always are trying to come up with something new in order to throw you for a loop, but they've already used every plot under the sun, though Mr. Medulla claims that he has a few they haven't thought of yet. But anyway, once you've gotten a feel for the show, you can figure out who's sleeping with who, what person got abandoned with their twin at birth and who just recently arrived at their funeral after miraculously surviving a fall down Niagara Falls. It is later discovered that the body in the casket is their twin, who was married to their fiancé and she now has to figure out which guy she was actually in love with, but later elopes with the previously unknown triplet.
In Spanish, even.
Maybe that's why I wanted to shake things up a bit. I mean, I love Layla, but her alone wasn't quite enough. The whole "wife, 2.5 kids and a slobbery dog" wasn't really me. I needed real unpredictability, something that would spice up my life in ways no one ever thought possible, not just another ring on the red phone saying that a new giant robot was ravaging the city or help, the villain has just made a Ginormous Evil Death Ray of DOOM!
I always had a crush on Warren. He practically oozed "Brooding Angst Muffin" . . . not that I'll ever tell him that. I finally had to come out to Layla that I was bisexual and liked Warren, or else I had no doubt that I would have burst and accidentally said something to him. She admitted that she also liked him, and would have been perfectly happy being with both of us, but neither of us wanted to ruin a good friendship by telling Warren that we were in love with him. He came over fairly often and slept over in the guest room occasionally, so we kept a few changes of his clothes in the closet. Layla and I had each other and his friendship, so that was enough . . . for now.
It all changed when I got hurt. Really hurt. I know I have super strength and the ability to fly, but no one is completely invulnerable, unless that's one of your powers, but even Superman would fall to a weapon made of Kryptonite.
The mayor had given a brief, frantic call of "Help! Help! Mad deranged fisherman loose!" so Hothead and Enforcer were on the scene. This particular villain didn't have a doomsday device, legions of soldiers or terribly impressive maniacal laughter. He didn't really have clothes either. I think it was a combination of those four that made us underestimate him.
Self-proclaimed "Gladiator" all he had was an electrical net and automatic harpoon gun. Just one of the baddies you meet every day, a scant step up from the guys who rob little old ladies. Or maybe it's a step down. Whatever.
Anyway, he was taunting us with the usual (I shall rule supreme, all shall be my slaves, and I will have sushi dinners every day! Hahahahaha!) while Warren had a nice fireball barrage going. I was about to throw a dumpster or three on him when I decided that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to kill him, so instead of a dumpster, I just flew directly at him.
Big mistake.
Instead of cowering in fear, screaming for mommy and whatnot, Gladiator looked straight at me and shot his harpoon. I swerved, but it still hit and went cleanly through my shoulder, the rope painfully rubbing against the nerves inside. He pulled on the rope, dragging me back as the harpoon's points dug into my skin. Of course, he forgot that even wounded, I'm still super-strong. Once I was in arm distance, I pushed him down to the ground and pulled out the cuffs from my utility belt.
Warren called the police, who quickly arrived to take Gladiator away, and hoisted my good arm over his shoulder, trying to get me home. I was just so tired, bleeding all over, practically running in rivers down my costume. He talked to me in hopes that it would keep me awake until we could see Layla so she could patch me up. I didn't make it.
I woke up to beeps and sterilized equipment. Layla was right next to me, her head on the bed sheet and hair completely mussed as she slowly breathed in and out. On her side was Warren, who looked no better, if not worse. His clothes were streaked with blood and his hair looked liked he hadn't bathed in a while.
"Hey. Guys?" I asked softly, and with reflexes born of double periods with Coach Boomer they were both up.
Warren reacted first.
"You moron! You complete and utter idiot! Ni shi bai chi! Sha gua! Chun zi!" Warren started raving in Mandarin, but instead of continuing, he grabbed my face and kissed me hard, fire literally sparking across our lips. I got caught up, returning with equal passion until I belatedly remembered that Layla was still in the room.
I broke apart quickly, blushing, but Layla only grinned. She leaned forward and soundly kissed me, but then stopped and pulled Warren close to her and kissed him too.
"Does that settle that?" she asked with a smirk. Warren gave the biggest smile I'd ever seen him make.
Warren moved in the next day.
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Reviews are wonderful and will be taped to my wall to make me feel special. Flames will lead me towards your own fics, which will then be mocked or possibly given the full Mary-Sue alert if you're not lucky and I'm feeling nasty.
Ni shi bai chi –
You idiot
Sha gua – Fool
Chun zi – Moron
