Unexpected
Effect by Betty
Bokor
Sam/Daniel. The ripple effect brought a few more
consequences than first thought.
Spoilers: All seasons, including
9.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to
MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This
was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at
copyright infringement has been made.
Unexpected Effect
Chapter 4
Sam sighed. "Okay, maybe. It's just that it never went anywhere. Maybe if you had told me, we could have done-"
"What? You would have settled for the consolation price? No, Sam. I wouldn't have let you. You will have to sort your feelings for Jack someday. Before that, I don't think you'll ever be ready for anything else. I think that was why it didn't work with Pete." Sam lowered her head and got lost thinking about it. Daniel started getting up. "It's late, Sam."
"No! Wait! Just a little longer." She stretched out her hand and made him sit down again. "You never thought it could work between us?"
"After Sha're died, I felt even guiltier. The idea of me having a chance to be happy with you- I thought I should try something different." He took a few seconds, as if trying to remember. "You know, Ke'ra reminded me of you, so bright, so full of life-"
"Linea?"
"She wasn't Linea, not yet. I don't know what happened afterwards in her life that corrupted her spirit in such a way, but she was not Linea then. She truly wanted to help her people. You saw it; when she remembered, she couldn't live with it."
Sam nodded slowly. She knew that he was probably right. Leave it to Daniel to see the good in the Destroyer of Worlds. "Did you feel that way when you faced the Replicator Carter?"
"What do you mean?"
"Did you ask yourself how I ended up killing you? What drove me to conquer the universe?"
"No, Sam, that was not you. That was in the nature of the replicator. It may have taken your shape and known your thoughts, but its nature was the same as all the replicators."
"We've never really talked about this."
"You don't have to say anything."
"How about 'I'm sorry' or that I wish she wouldn't have hurt you?'
"You had nothing to do with it, but thank you."
Sam smiled a little and then looked straight at him. "You got into her mind, right?"
"Yep. I needed to find something that could help me defeat her. She ended that very fast."
"You still defeated her."
"She killed me, Sam."
Sam shivered at the thought. "Those seconds you stole from her, when you paralyzed all the replicators, that was all we needed to finish the job. We wouldn't have made it without you." Daniel thanked her with a gesture. "But that's not what I wanted to talk about. When you got into her mind, you got into mine. What did you see?"
"I didn't stop to analyze your thoughts, Sam. I felt I was invading something very private. I tried to run through it."
"But you saw something," she guessed.
"Confusion," he finally admitted.
"Yep, that sounds about right." Sam said almost in a whisper.
"I wish I could help you. This conversation is only going to make things worse."
"No, no. I think we needed a little bit of this." She smiled at him and he lowered his gaze as he smiled back.
"You know, sometimes I thought you would discover me, like when Cassie got here and was sick. I couldn't let you go through that on your own." Sam reached out and squeezed his hand. "Or when Jolinar got you. I just couldn't go to see you that time. It terrified me to lose both the women I loved to the same evil." Sam's eyes suddenly filled with tears. "Other times I thought I could have some hope."
"When?" Sam asked, because she was starting to think that she had seen something and she had been in denial of this, too.
"When I came back from Oannes, or when Ma'chello took my body, or when you felt my presence after the incident with the crystal skull. I thought we had a connection. The worst was when I was dying, after Kelowna, and you said 'I don't know why we wait to tell people how we really feel.' What did you mean, Sam?" He didn't give her time to answer. "For a second I thought you loved me, too, and that if had done anything about it, we could have been happy at least for a little while."
"But you left anyway."
"What did you want me to do, Sam? You knew Jacob couldn't really cure me. I would have been a very sick, disabled man, for the rest of my life."
"I thought I would resign my commission and take care of you," Sam said, again with tears in her eyes.
Daniel seemed stunned. "Did you?" He looked straight at her and asked, "Then, why didn't you resign it to be with Jack?"
"He never asked me and I thought it wouldn't be fair if he did."
"And would it have been fair to take care of a sick man?"
"I didn't even think about that," Sam said honestly.
They both sat in silence for a little while, reflecting on what they had just said. Then Daniel asked, "Ah, Sam, what have we done with our lives? Why don't you forget all about this? Go home. Have some rest. Enjoy your vacation. When we come back, we'll try to keep everything as before."
"Daniel, why didn't you say anything when you came back from ascension?" she tried one more time.
"You said we were just very good friends."
"Oh." So many feelings and memories almost made her dizzy. She kept quiet for a minute. Daniel took the chance to get up and gather his paperwork to get ready to leave. Sam slowly stood up and held herself against the bookshelves. "Daniel." He put his documents on a chair near the door and looked at her. "You said what you felt was not physical in the beginning." He nodded. "That changed, right? You do have… other feelings for me, eh?" Daniel just lowered his eyes and didn't answer. "Please, Daniel, come talk to me. Please. I need you to tell me, I need you to-" She lost the words and waited for him to approach. He got close very slowly.
"What do you need, Sam?" he asked in a defeated voice.
"Please, I need to know, only once, I won't ask you again." They were looking at each other's eyes. "Kiss me, please. Just this time."
He hesitated. He had wanted so many times to kiss her, to hold her, to feel her so close to him… But if she didn't love him that way, what for? To know better what he was missing? Her eyes were begging him and he couldn't resist. First he thought of giving her a brief kiss, something that could be easily forgotten, but, as soon as he held her face in his hands and her arms encircled him, he couldn't stop himself and he kissed her with all the love and the passion he had been hiding for almost ten years. She answered without vacillation; she wanted to experience it and to use it to probe her feelings. When they came apart at last, Daniel hugged her, holding her head against his shoulder. Then he kissed her on the forehead, let her go, hastily picked up his things, and left the room.
Sam slid against the shelves back onto the floor and remained seated there for a long time.
