Unexpected Effect by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. The ripple effect brought a few more consequences than first thought.
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

Unexpected Effect

Chapter 6

She took a little time, still playing with the throw. "The first thing that hit me," she started, "was the matter of my commission." Daniel's expression showed he didn't understand. "I had never thought about it in an organized way, compared situations… You'll think I'm weird, but I tried some kind of 'scientific approach' to this. I made a chart, like you did for the teams, but just about my life, the decisions I've made, the people they involved, the reasons- It's complicated, I know. I just needed to see it in black and white."

"If it helped you, Sam, it can't be wrong."

"Yeah, it helped. So, about my commission- Pete wanted me to get a desk job, to have a family, and I couldn't. One of the reasons why I left him was that I was not ready for that. I think that what we do every day is too important to leave now. The gate is more important than him."

"Okay, I can understand that," Daniel said.

"And when you asked me why I didn't do it to be with the General, I had the same answer. My job, my career in the military were more important than what I could have with him."

"That's difficult to understand for me, Sam."

"I know, but for me it's very clear now. You said I'd have to sort out my feelings for General O'Neill some day and I've tried." She looked at him and then at her hands so that she wouldn't see his eyes on her as she said, "You're right. I like him. I've fantasized about being with him." Daniel looked down and smiled, and for a second Sam feared he'd seen too much in her mind. "We talked about what happened in the Prometheus, when I was stranded there, do you remember?"

"Yes, when you had those hallucinations that looked like us."

"Yeah, more or less. Well, I told you Jack," she forced herself to say his name, "was there to give me a pep talk."

"I remember."

"Teal'c warned me of the dangers and you gave me ideas to fix the problem," Daniel smiled, "but my dad and Jack talked to me about my life, too."

"You didn't tell me that before."

"I haven't told anyone."

"Okay," he said with a look that encouraged her to continue.

"I asked him if quitting the Air Force would make any difference or if it was an excuse."

"You asked Jack that?"

"Well, I suppose I was asking myself. In any case, he said he'd never ask me to quit –which is fine with me; I told you I thought it'd be unfair to ask– and I wanted to know if it was because he had no feelings for me."

"Maybe that's what you've been afraid all this time," Daniel said.

"Yes, that's true, but he said that maybe he wasn't the problem. He said he was a safe bet. At any time, all these years I could have put him before my career, I could have, at least, proposed it in real life to see what happened, but I didn't. It wasn't pressing enough to take the risk; do you understand?" He nodded, then he looked like he had thought of something and was about to say it, when she added, "You remembered, eh?" She smiled. "What I told you yesterday, that I would have left everything to take care of you after Kelowna?" He nodded again. "It's true, I would have. I had no doubts. When dad said he was not sure if he could cure you completely, I just thought I was going to take care of you. I thought I would have to make plans according to what he could achieve, but I was certain I'd have to resign from the Air Force to dedicate time to you. I would have done it, Daniel. I meant it."

"Why?" Daniel asked with his eyes full of tears.

"Because you're more important than any job or career I could ever have. Don't you see?" She smiled again.

"Thank you."

"Don't. I can't help it. I wish I had realized before."

"But that doesn't change anything, Sam."

"I know, I know, but it was a big step." She smiled one more time and continued. "In the Prometheus I realized something else. I told Jack that as long as I thought about him and set my sights on what seemed unattainable, there was no chance of being hurt by someone else."

"But through the years you opened yourself to other possibilities, like Narim or Martouf. Didn't you go out to dinner with Joe Faxon?"

"You're right. And every time I tried, I got hurt."

"That was not your fault, Sam, or their fault in any case. It's part of the job we have, of the things we deal with every day. If Jack had died on one of our missions, it would have been the same."

"But just pining for him made it different than if I really had a relationship."

"I get it, Sam. What I still don't understand is what changed that allowed you to try with Pete."

"My dad, in my head at least. In the Prometheus he told me that I was not happy, that I was content, satisfied, in control. He said I was missing something vital in my life and that unfortunately I had no idea what it was. But I knew. What he had with my mother, I've never had. I'm alone. He said she gave meaning and balance to his life. I wanted that, I wanted to get rid of this loneliness, of the coming home to an empty house. I think you understand that better than anyone." Daniel softly agreed. "My dad said it was time to let go of the things that prevented me from finding happiness and, before he died, he said he just wanted me to be happy. It just didn't work with Pete and I know now that it wouldn't work with Jack either. It's not the rules and regulations that stopped me."

"What's the problem then?" Sam smiled shyly and seemed having trouble continuing. "Sam?"

"Have you thought that I'd have to leave you to go with any of them?"

"Well, only if you moved to D.C. While Jack was here that was not a problem. Pete bought a house here, didn't he?"

"What about all the times you and I get together after work, when we go to the cinema or we stay at each other's homes and have dinner or watch movies, or just talk?"

"Well, probably that would have to stop, but you'd have your husband to share all those things with you."

"I don't want to do them with anyone else. I like to be with you. I missed you so much while I was in Nevada."