The Screening

By Teala373

Chapter 1: Jitters, Bimfatophs, & Wonder Woman

3/6/06

Summary: Dunder-Mifflin is treated to a private screening of their documentary while the production crew plays secret cupid with Jim and Pam. Takes place shortly after the "Dwight's Speech" episode.

Author's note: I totally forgot if the name of Jim's roommate was ever revealed. I am using 'Mark', but I have no idea what it really is.

Jim's left leg jittered up and down nervously as he sat in the very back of the office conference room while the director and producer of the documentary gave opening speeches.

Jim wasn't listening, he was plotting an escape.

The conference room had been transformed into a viewing room. All the chairs were lined up in little rows, facing a cart with a DVD player and a large TV. As soon as the speeches were over, the documentary on the Scanton branch, titled "The Office" would play, and Jim would have to live down the embarrassment of everyone seeing his infatuation with Pam captured on video.

Why, oh why, had he allowed himself to get too comfortable around the film crew? He had been distancing himself from her the past few weeks, but it didn't change anything. As much as he tried to move on, he really couldn't... and now everyone would know.

He nearly jump went he felt a hand on his leg, stilling its motion. He turned widened eyes to see Pam searching his face with a look of concern and hidden amusement.

"Hey, are you okay?" she whispered.

He swallowed a large lump in his throat as he realized how close her face was to his. He wondered if this was the last time she would ever come this close to him.

"Yeah, uh, yeah," he pasted on a reassuring smile, "I just had a little too much peach iced tea. I'm trying to convince Michael it really is my new favorite flavor. He wasn't kidding when he told Stan he'd hate it. It's pretty vile. My stomach lining's half gone."

Pam smiled. "Is he heartbroken that he can't be twins with you and drink grape soda at the exact same time you do?"

"Yeah. He tried drinking peach iced tea with me, but he gagged on the first sip and spent an hour in the bathroom."

"An hour?"

"Kevin tried to go in and check on him, but our resident drama queen was paranoid that Kevin was going to do number two and screamed at him to get out."

"When was this?"

"While you were at lunch, uh, running errands."

"Oh." Pursing her lips, Pam turned away, suddenly embarrassed that she had been shopping for wedding accessories during her extended lunch.

A small silence stretched out and when Pam finally looked up, Jim's face began taking an ashen hue again.

"You're sure there's nothing else?" The slight increase of her brow knotting together betrayed that she didn't quite believe him.

"Yeah, yeah. Totally." He cleared his throat and turned his head back to the front. "Did I miss anything important? I sort of had a little brain lapse, there. The peach iced tea is affecting my brain now, too." He laughed and tried to ignore the fact that her hand was still on his leg.

"They just said the film is very short so it can compete in the independent film festivals. A longer version will be edited for DVD. They're going to send us all a copy, but it won't be done for several more months."

"How short is this one going to be?" His leg started to jitter again. Pam applied a small amount of pressure, forcing it to stop. He had been avoiding sitting near Pam in meetings, but had been behind him when he entered, and made a point of sitting next to him. He didn't know if he should be flattered or panicked.

"Only about 42 minutes. That's about the standard for the festivals." She continued studying his face, though he was turned away from her. "Jim? Are you sure you're okay? You know you can tell me..."

He turned back towards her and held her gaze. "Nothing... nothing. I didn't really sleep well last night." That wasn't a lie. He had laid in bed, staring at the ceiling for hours, wondering how he could get Pam and Roy to not watch the documentary.

Fate had taken care of Roy, sending him out of town to vacation with his brother at their family cabin, but Pam was unable to get the time off, having used most of it on wedding preparations.

As the screening began, Pam pursed her lips together and searched Jim's face one last time before turning towards the screen.

"If I had to choose between a one night stand and them, I would choose them."

The conference room erupted into laughter, clapping, and cheering as the documentary ended with Michael's touching, though odd speech. Jim clapped and cheered the loudest, ecstatic that all of the moments he dreaded being shown had been edited out.

The 42 minute version of the documentary seemed to primarily focus on Michael's leadership, with a secondary focus on Jim and Dwight tormenting each other. The majority of the film was taken up with Michael's speeches, winning over a large client with Jan at Chili's, and feebly attempting to combat downsizing.

Jim's screen time was limited to his interactions with Dwight: putting his stapler in Jell-O, relocating his desk to the bathroom, and having Steve incorporate his items into the vending machine. A few other random moments thrown in were the vodka-inspired portion of the Christmas party, Stanly and Pam winning their Dundie awards (minus Pam kissing Jim), the office Olympics, and Michael being the "boss of dancing".

Pam looked over at Jim and smiled. "Wow. They did a really great job. I was expecting much worse!"

"Me, too, Pam," Jim let out a sigh of relief as they began exiting the conference room, "Me, too."

Michael had a refreshments set up in the break room and encouraged everyone to "party hard". Kevin put in a mix CD he had put together for the special occasion, complete with a bonus track from his Steve Miller tribute band.

After Michael's third speech, Jim began looking for Pam. He finally spotted her over by the door in a conversation with one of the camera guys from the documentary. When they finished, the camera guy looked at him and winked, before crossing the room to speak with the producer.

"What was that all about?" Jim asked, trying not to sound possessive. He knew it was juvenile to get annoyed or jealous when she talked to other people, but he just couldn't help it sometimes.

Pam smiled. "We were mostly talking about who my new ally will be in the ongoing Dwight and Angela scandal now that the film crew won't be here."

"I thought I was always your ally," Jim whined, feigning hurt.

"You," Pam began with a slight giggle, "are always my partner in crime. There's a big difference."

"So partner in crime is better than ally?"

"Oh Jim," she began shaking her head slowly in disbelief, "I can't believe you have to ask. Like anyone rates higher than you." She walked back over to her desk to grab her much coveted bag of French onion Sun chips that she had won from Jim in a bet on how many speeches Michael would make. She almost had to corner him in the break room to get him to agree to the bet.

Jim smiled widely, his eyes never leaving her as he soaked in the joy of her comment. He had completely forgotten to ask Pam why she resumed her proof of a Dwight-Angela relationship. His moment, however, was cut short as Michael strolled up from behind.

"The wedding is approaching fast, my friend. What are we going to do about Operation P?"

Jim rolled his eyes. He would have thought Michael would have gotten off his back about Pam by now. "WE aren't going to do anything. Remember the vow of silence I made you take."

"Yeah, but I can break the vow of silence anytime as Regional Manager," Michael scoffed.

"Yeah, but I can counter that as highest grossing sales rep."

"Uh, no you can't... and you're only the second highest grossing sales rep."

"Based on the reports this week, I am the highest and I totally can counter you because I initiated the vow of silence."

"But I'm a manager."

"But I'm taller than you."

"Darn it... I knew I should have worn my elevated shoes today!" Jim went to throw a pointed look at the camera, but there were no longer any cameras rolling. Having to look away from Michael, he concentrated on a picture of Tom Hanks that Michael insisted on hanging up outside his office.

"Anyway," Michael barreled on, "I still need to motivate you as your best-friend-at-the-office."

Jim's poker face wavered slightly. "You're not my best-friend-at-the-office."

"Um, I think I am," Michael stated matter-of-factly.

"Um, I think that's Pam."

"Yeah, but I'm your best-male-friend-at-the-office."

Regaining control of his poker face, Jim decided to push ahead and see how far this would go. "Wouldn't that be Kevin?"

"No!" Michael almost barked out. Jim could practically hear the gears in Michael's head grinding as they spun out of control. "No, because Kevin is in accounting... and he needs to use the scented candle every time he goes to the bathroom."

The poker face broke. "What does that have..."

"So, it's definitely not Kevin," Michael interjected.

Jim released a tight sigh as he broke eye contact with Michael. "Fine. Then it's Ryan."

"No, Ryan's a temp. He doesn't count."

"Stanley."

"No, you're not a 'brother'. Those are their rules. Not mine. I'm down with brothers, but they're not down with you."

Jim closed his eyes for a second to compose himself before continuing. "That would leave Oscar out, too. Right?"

"Definitely. He's a triple threat," Michael stated confidently.

"I don't even want to know what that means," Jim muttered. "Creed?"

"Nobody likes Creed."

"D...wi...ght..."

Michael rolled his eyes. "Now I know you're just lying. And don't even think about saying Toby. It's me. It's totally me. Stop jerking my chain, Jimbag. It's me and you can't deny it, so here is your personalized motivational speech. From me to you. B.M.F.A.T.O.F."

"Bimfatoph? What are you trying to spell?"

"C'mon, Jim! B.M.F.A.T.O.F! Best male friends at the office forever! Duh!" Michael began searching the breast pockets of his suit jacket.

"Soooooo... we're bimfatophs?"

"Yes," Reaching deep into his left pocket, Michael was slightly distracted, "How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Well, if you have to tell me at all..."

"Alright! Got it!" Triumphantly producing a crumpled post-it note from his pocket, Michael smoothed it out and prepared to read it. "Ok! Here we go! Everyone knows that Superman marries Lois Lane, and to a degree accepts it, but in Mark Wade's 'Kingdom Come', it shows in the future that Lois dies and Superman ends up with Wonder Woman."

Jim could only meet Michael's expectant look with a blank stare. He blinked twice before he was able to find his voice. "Wow. Where do I start? Um... I guess we'll go with the obvious first. You got that from Dwight, didn't you?"

"No! No! No!" Michael insisted while stuffing the post-it note back in his pocket. "Well... yeah. I was out of motivational speeches for the day, so I... yeah, I asked Dwight for some help."

"Ok, and how is that supposed to motivate me?"

"Because Pam is Superman and Roy is Lois and you are Wonder Woman. So, Roy will die and you get Pam."

"And I get to be an Amazon?" The poker face was back.

"Sure. You can buy books whether you're with Pam, or not. That's totally irrelevant." Michael was slightly bummed that Jim wasn't hugging him in sheer glee for his motivational speech. He contemplated punishing Dwight.

"And bounce bullets off my bracelets?"

"What? No. You just end up with Pam."

"Pam's from another planet and is allergic to a green rock. I don't know if that's really my thing. Besides, I thought you didn't approve of office relationships."

"Well Toby doesn't recommend them, so naturally I am in favor of them. Besides, I'm still working on the whole J-situation."

Jim's eyebrows shot up. "J situation? You mean Jan?"

"Shh! Shh, shh! Use the code!"

"Oh, right. So J-situation as in J-A-N?"

"Yeah, yeah." Michael stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked down while he shuffled his feet.

"I thought you weren't allowed to talk to her unless it was strictly work related and she had a representative from HR present."

Michael seemed to perk up at that statement. "Yeah, I'm hoping it will be that Brenda chick so we can... ya know..."

"I'm trying not to know." Jim began systematically running different thoughts through his head to prevent a mental image of Michael, Jan and Brenda from appearing.

"Well anyway, I have a plan on how to make this whole 'Wonder Woman' thing happen," Michael was obviously proud of himself for altering the code in which he and Jim supposedly talked about their crushes.

"I already know. I spin around really fast."

"What are you...? No. I have an insider."

This piqued Jim's curiosity and also caused a horrifying chill to run up his spine. "What insider?"

Placing a hand on his chin, Michael ignored Jim's question as his mind wandered. "Maybe we should come up with a new code instead of the Wonder Woman situation," he thought out loud.

"You mean we were off P-situation?"

"Maybe 'Threat Level: Wedding'... What do you think?"

Jim felt his poker face breaking. "I... no words..."

Oblivious, Michael continued. "Okay, so Kelly is now a bridesmaid for the wedding, so we can get her to do all of our dirty work."

"You want Kelly to kill Lois Lane?" Jim didn't know what was more surreal: Michael's thought process, or his ability to keep up with his nonsense.

"Do you think she'd do it?" Michael asked hopefully. "I was just going to have her sleep with Roy and then have Pam walk in on them."

Spinning around, Jim checked to make sure that no one had overheard. "Okay, okay. How about we put Threat Level: Wedding on the shelf and concentrate on Threat Level: Boss."

"Is that the J-situation?"

"Uh, sure."

"Okay. Good. I like focusing on me, anyway."

"Right on, bimfatoph!" Jim gave Michael a playful punch on the arm while muttering "whatever gets your attention off me" under his breath.