Killua sighed and stretched himself awake. Sunlight shone in through the crack in his blackout curtains, the sun blindingly bright and reflecting off the ocean. It had been two weeks since they had purchased and moved into their new apartment, and this was seriously the best place to live ever!

The ocean was gorgeous, and they spent just about all their freetime on the beach, messing around in the strip malls, or just crashing in the apartment. Killua's room was starting to fill up with a collection of random objects… something that the runaway prince had never experienced before.

Back on Kukuroo Mountain, his room had been a dull and empty void, a reflection of his inner self.

However, here in their off-site apartment, Killua had random crap all over.

His closet was almost half way full (which was an enormous accomplishment considering the sheer size of the closet… he had been doing a hell of a lot of shopping in the past two weeks). He had a couple of emo-looking tapestries on his walls, or at least Leorio called them emo. Killua thought they were cool! He still had that candle from Gon sitting on his bedside table, and even had a few more sprinkled about his room. Kurapika had gotten him a fake plant for some reason, and Leorio had been forced into buying him a real bear skin rug after losing a bet.

His room felt so real… he had even gone so far as to print off a picture of himself, Leorio, Kurapika, and Gon to frame and put on each of their night stands.

He also had a printed picture of just himself and Gon.

But that was for his pocket.

…And that's where the problem arose.

Killua was getting a whole lot more sappy as time went by. It seemed like his crush had progressed a whole lot faster in these past two weeks than it ever had. He had a picture of Gon as his lock screen, goddammit!

It had been such an adorable moment… Gon had been forced into eating chocolate ice cream, and was staring grumpily into the camera with a spoon in his mouth and a sticky trail of chocolaty goodness running down his chin. He was even wearing an outfit that Killua had specially picked out for him that day.

That wasn't even the half of it.

He kept noticing how attractive Gon was, and he got flustered just by looking at him! Why was he looking at him? Because he couldn't help it. He really couldn't! It was like his eyes had a mind of their own. And he knew it was wrong… but his chest was always so bubbly and light… and he was just a hopeless gay disaster.
Killua couldn't stop stealing passing glances of Gon, his eyes just couldn't have enough. He'd watch him while he talked, while he ate, while he trained. It was such a problem. And Killua liked him more and more every day. He thought about touching him and hugging him and kissing him more and more every day. His every waking thought was encompassed by Gon. It was so exhausting… but also so… so swoonworthy.

Also… he kept having dreams like that other one.

Dreams about him and Gon.

Dreams that were definitely not platonic.

Killua was surprised they hadn't progressed into full out wet dreams, but he supposed he shouldn't even think that because it would do nothing but encourage his stupid brain.

He had just woken up from one of those dreams, actually. Hot flashes of Gon kissing all up and down his body were trapped on replay in Killua's mind. He ground the heels of his hands into his eyes.

He wanted that to be real so bad.

What is my problem.

I know this is wrong.

I KNOW this isn't right!

Yet I keep dreaming of Gon like this.

And he doesn't even know what I've done to his image.

Killua grumpily rolled himself off his bed. He crashed to the floor in a cocoon of thick blankets. Gon's stolen pillows still tangled up against his chest. The Valkyrie hugged the pillow against his close and inhaled deeply. There was really no point, it barely smelled of Gon anymore at all.

It just stunk of Killua and his stupid lust and stupid horny dreams and stupid hopeless pinning.

But even so… there was still that tiny hint of a smell. There was still that tiny hint of Gon's presence left underneath all those layers of Killua and his stupid inexcusable thoughts and feelings. And even that tiny tidbit of Gon was enough to make Killua's heart sing and go weak in the knees.

Gon made him so happy… and even though Gon didn't know he felt this way… and even though Killua hid these enormous feelings from him like a disgusting hermit of a person…

He hated them less and less each day.

How could he hate these feelings that filled him with bubbles and sent Gon into such beautiful sparkling colors? Over the course of these two weeks, Killua had come to find that his crush on Gon made him notice and appreciate him even more… Gon's words meant more to him than they ever had before…

And maybe they weren't meant to be words to gush over and scream into his pillow over at night… but still. Gon meant the world to Killua. And wasn't it… weren't these feelings giving Gon the credit and praise he deserved?

It was… a weird way of thinking.

Killua knew that much.

But he was just as big of a weirdo for getting like this over his best friend… and he needed weird reasons to justify his feelings.

And even though he had started to accept and justify his fluffy and innocent feelings (to an extent at least. There were still parts of him that trembled with rage in the dark of night, parts of him that dug his nail into his palms to stop himself from looking at Gon when he wasn't looking and bending that innocent and angelic smile into something to breathe heavy over)...

There was absolutely no excuse for the dark side of these feelings. The physical and needy side of them. The side that turned his dreams hot and fast, the side that forced him to jerk himself awake before his dreaming could get too wet or too lucid. It was the side of him that… made his eyes dark and pants tight whenever Gon changed around him.

The side that always managed to twist Gon's playful smirks and senseless tackles into something that they weren't.

It was… unnatural.

Well… he knew that mating was as natural as life and death… and it literally was life… and death, in some cases. But…

That was for lovers. For people who returned mutual feelings.

He shouldn't get so sexually aroused and bothered over Gon… Gon who was as innocent as they came. What twisted mind did he have? And why did his sexual awakening have to be happening now of all times?! Of course, he suppressed it to the best of his ability… but Killua feared the day when his dreaming went a little too far… When he'd have unwanted flashings of his dreams (which already happened) but unwanted flashings that were completely and utterly explicit.

What would he do when this tainting of Gon's image crossed his final line?

His original line had been at thinking these fluffy things about Gon… he crossed that line literally the day he drew it in the sand.

His next line had been about acknowledging those feelings' existence. That had been crossed almost immediately as well.

Up next had been allowing himself to be attracted to Gon in a physical sense, not just a romantic sense. And that had fluttered away over the course of these two weeks.

His current line in the sand was stopping himself from having sex dreams about Gon.

Which was… it sounded so fucking extreme on paper, but this was seriously where Killua was at the moment. How had he allowed himself to fall so far that this was the worst possible scenario?! And they were dreams! As if he could control his dreams?! Sure, even if they did get lucid he HIGHLY distrusted his unconscious self control. He didn't trust his waking self control, or his waking self in general. So how was he supposed to trust himself not to take advantage of his own imaginings?

With this pattern of ruining his lines in the sand… what would the next line be when this one was inevitably crossed?

What would it be?

Killua knew what it would be… and it was already a line that he was dealing with. Just… one that would become more prominent once he crossed his current line.

A line of pleasuring himself to the thought of Gon.

Which was… in Killua's opinion the worst atrocity he could possibly commit.

But he could keep himself away from that line. He could do that much at least! He had gone his entire preteen/early teen years without jerking off once. Then again he had been severely sexually stunted thanks to the wall in his mind and Illumi… but he still had that going for him.

Then again, that could also serve as a detrimental factor in his war against his own mind and body. He had never once felt sexual attraction to anyone before… he'd been halfway convinced (more than half, actually) that he was asexual. But no. Fucking Illumi existed.

He had absolutely no experience with sexual feelings like this… and if the steady progression of the steamy situations in his dreams were any indication… he was very sexually frustrated, and was getting even more sexually frustrated by the day.

What if he snapped one day? And having no experience on the subject, was unable to control himself? He literally had no idea how he'd react to any sexual activity, from his own hand or otherwise, and his parents had always been standoffish about the subject. His mother because she was still well aware that he was gay, and didn't think he deserved to know, and his father because he was so damned awkward talking about the subject.

Why… the fuck. Am I thinking about THIS. So early in the morning.

Killua bonked his head on the floor a few times. Feeling frustrated as ever… luckily for him, there were no hard-ons this morning for him to deal with. His depressing and anxiety inducing train of thought had been enough to discourage any unwelcome activity in between his legs. He'd still have to take a shower though, even though he didn't need one. It would be suspicious if he only took a shower the second he got up every couple mornings.

If that didn't scream "sus" then nothing did.

I feel like I'm making this way more complicated than it needs to be.

But… this is GON. And I care about him way too much to destroy him in this way.

"Beach day, beach day, beach day!" Gon cheered as he danced in circles in the open space between the living room and kitchen. Killua watched him with that familiar dopey expression in his eye. His skin was getting even more tanned, what with all the sun they were getting. They were spending the majority of their time outside these days, and with their 200s floor fights still being painfully easy they didn't need to spend much of their free time training.

They had free time in droves, and how could Kurapika, Leorio, and Killua say no to Gon about the beach? He was from an island, and had clearly missed being in the surf and sand.

Kurapika was bickering with Leorio as he smeared sunscreen across that scaly back. Believe it or not, but Goblin's scales could get sunburnt… in their own strange way. Leorio was, technically, cold blooded, but if he spent too much time in the sun his scales would dehydrate and start to chip and fall off.

He wasn't wearing enough sunscreen, and was also constantly complaining about his scales peeling.

So naturally Kurapika got sick of his nonsense and was applying sunscreen to his scales by force.

Killua wished that Gon would slather him in sunscreen like that…

See? Thoughts like that? Those were Killua's new problems.

A whole new brand of intrusive thoughts.

Gay edition.

"We go to the beach almost every other day," the Valkyrie sighed with his hands behind his head as he watched Gon. "How do you manage to get this excited every single time?"

"Because the beach is the best place ever! I hadn't been on a beach at all since I left Whale Island, and I forgot how much I loved it!" He explained, amber eyes sparkling in that way that made Killua's heart melt.

"Oh! KILLUA!"

I love it when he says my name… even when he screams it all hyper like.

I don't care if it hurts my ears, because it's Gon saying my name.

"What is it?" he asked with a smile and a slight wince, but a smile nonetheless.

"We've gotta go fishing real soon! Fishing season is coming! I can smell it in the air!"

"Fishing?" the Valkyrie asked, sounding unimpressed. "Sounds boring. All you do is sit around and wait for fish to come, right?"

"It's more than that, Killua!" Gon whined, stopping his dance to fix Killua with an exasperated smile. "Sure, it's a bit of a waiting game, but it's the best feeling in the world when all your hoping pays off and you get to drag a fish out of the water!"

"Sounds like the perfect activity for an optimist like you. Just sitting around and hoping for hours on end."

"You're such an asshole!" Gon laughed, trying to be grumpy at Killua and failing. "Can't you respect other people's interests ever?" he demanded as he started chasing Killua around the couch.

The Valkyrie giggled lightly as he danced in and out of Gon's reach. Leorio and Kurapika watched them with knowing looks. Gon may not have noticed the gooey and warm light in Killua's eyes, but they certainly did.

Killua sighed as he relaxed on his towel. He was lying under a beach umbrella. The sun felt great, sure, but there was no point in sitting underneath it if he was gonna get fried the second he left his shady shield.

He had played around in the water with Gon for an hour and a half straight. The hybrid was trying to teach him to surf (which Killua royally sucked at). It was fun… but not Killua's cup of tea. Something about whimsical ocean currents being added to the equation took away the Valkyrie's impeccable balance.

While Killua was a master of the skies, Gon was a master of the seas it seemed.

The object of his affections was currently building an enormous sand castle with Kurapika. Gon had tried to convince Killua to do it with him, but unless it involved making a sand tunnel or burying someone, the stingy silver haired boy wanted nothing to do with sand.

It was too much of a let down to make some incredible sand creation and watch it be destroyed by some random asshole!

He had learned that the hard way…

Killua snickered as he remembered.

He'd actually killed that guy! It had been hilarious!

"I don't see what you're over there giggling about," Leorio drawled. "How are you not stressing about your next match?!"

The Valkyrie leaned down his sunglasses to judge the Goblin over their dark lenses. "I never stress. Stressing isn't in my style."

The Goblin snorted, and Killua did along with him.

They both knew that stressing was one of Killua's favorite pastimes.

Stressing about a battle, however? No. At least, not since a long time ago.

Heaven's Arena battles may have been super fun, but they were also super easy. It was a rush and all, but not enough of a rush to get Killua too excited. Gon could get excited about fighting a broomstick, but the runaway prince needed a bit more stimulation before he really got his stomach into knots.

During these two weeks Gon and himself had fought three battles, and advanced to floor 252. The progression really did slow as you got higher, so it was nice to see that the tier system actually worked in that regard. Still though. All these 200s battles were barely better than the 100s battles. Maybe 300s battles would be more exciting?

"Well, you may not have anything to stress over, but I sure as hell do," Leorio sighed, voice wavering a bit. Tomorrow was another battle day, and he had his fight on the 150th floor. Halfway marks in each of the 100s were considered special battle markers showing a tangible increase in fight difficulty.

"It'll be fine~" Killua yawned with a lazy wave of his tail in Leorio's general direction.

"Easy for you to say! The Arena news sites are saying that your stats are already high enough to beat the entire battle royale tower without training for a second from where you are now!"

"That's definitely an overstatement–"

"-Don't act like it's not!"

Killua sighed. This really was bugging Leorio, wasn't it? He sat up, and laid on his side to face his umbrella buddy. "Listen, old man."

Yellowish eyes glared at him through blue tinted aviators.

"I know Kurapika and I give you a lot of grief about you being a sucky fighter, and that may be true compared to all three of us."

"That's a real great pep talk, gee, thanks."

"There's a but! Be patient, assface!"

The Goblin sighed and his eyebrows turned up in an emotionally bare expression. He was trusting Killua with his feelings. He was letting him in. His assassin training told him that this was the perfect moment to make the kill, now that he had his guard down. But his heart told him that this meant that he and Leorio were close friends… and the mercenary cherished that fact.

"But, we really are just messing with you. You've got talent, as much as I hate to admit it. You're skilled with a knife, and are a badass in hand to hand. Hell, you even taught Gon and I a new style of headlock the other day! So don't doubt your abilities. Heaven's Arena is meant to help fighters get stronger as they progress, and you haven't lost a fight yet. You, the great Leorio, are not going to lose a fight on the 150th floor of all places."

The Goblin's eyes lined in silver, and Killua averted his gaze, feeling embarrassed. He hated talking all cuddly like that.

"Awww, thanks buddy!" Leorio cried, wrapping Killua up in a bear hug. He went all stiff, and squirmed like a cat for a bit, before relaxing into it and letting Leorio have his moment. The Valkyrie didn't like to show it, but he really did care about Leorio. If Kurapika was his mom, then Leorio was his dysfunctional uncle, as he loved to proclaim all the time.

The silver haired boy returned the hug with a dramatic sigh, but secretly smiled where Leorio couldn't see. Kurapika and Gon did however, and watched the sweet display from a distance with soft smiles on their faces. The softness of Gon's smile surprised Kurapika, but also filled him with a giddy glee that would piss Killua off if he knew the context.

The Goblin and the Valkyrie broke off their embrace and ended it with a bro handshake, grinning at each other like the partners in crime that they were. Killua settled back down, and Leorio and himself settled back into that comfortable silence.

The silence did not stretch long, though, for the Goblin broke it a few minutes later.

Leorio noticed Killua noticing Gon. Noticing the taunt muscles beneath his skin and the way his sweat reflected the sun. He noticed him appreciating that strong yet slender waist, and watched him blush when Gon looked up, caught him looking, and waved with a friendly grin.

"Ayy, Killua? Now that we've had one heart to heart today… you down for another one?" Leorio asked as Killua waved back with tinted cheeks and a smile strained with shame and embarrassment.

Killua gave him the side eye, he didn't like the tone in his voice.

"What about? It depends what it's about."

Leorio sighed, rubbed his hands together, and reached over for another sip of his beer. "It's about you, and Gon. But mostly you."

"Uh… I don't see where you're going with this," Killua mumbled, heart starting to race.

"Listen, I'm not gonna dance around it and fish for reactions like Kurapika does, I'm not that type of guy. So I'm just gonna state my case plain and simple. You're gay, and you've got it for Gon," he stated while pointing at Killua.

"Wha-what? I'm not– I'm not gay! Who told you something crazy like that?! And liking Gon?! Who likes their best friend, that's crazy dude…" Killua trailed off, turning away and covering his hand with his palm. Stopping his stuttering in his tracks. How was he gonna brush this off if his brain went all haywire whenever his gayness for Gon was mentioned?!

I'm just as freaked out as I was when Kurapika asked me about it… I guess I'm not as comfortable with my sexuality as I thought I was.

Leorio sighed and rubbed in between his eyes, pushing his sunglasses up and above his scaly not-eyebrow-eyebrows. "Killua. I'm bi, so I've got a knack for this sort of thing."

Killua froze in his attempt to run away and hide. He raised his shoulders up to his ears, face getting hot for some reason. Why did this topic make his face heat up? Was he really that ashamed? Was he really that uncomfortable talking about this with anyone besides Kurapika? He didn't… like that. Killua wanted to be more out… he wanted to be able to be openly gay, and talk about who he truly was without all this baggage. "You… are?" was his pitiful response.

"Yep," the Goblin said, popping the p. "I don't get why everyone's so surprised by that, but I guess I do have a preference for women if I'm being honest with myself. Doesn't change the fact that I'm into guys also, though."

"Why are you… telling me about this?"

"What do you mean, why am I telling you?!" he said, suddenly getting aggressive as he sat up and waved his fist in Killua's direction. "You're my bro, my dude! My bestie, as Gon likes to put it for some reason! Why would I not tell you?! We're close like that! I can tell you're struggling, and I wanna help!"

The Goblin sighed, calming down before continuing. "Listen, I actually talked to Kurapika about all this before I talked to you about it. It was two weeks ago, at the water park. But everything's been so hectic that I didn't get a chance to sit you down and talk to you about it. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you sooner, but now that everything's settled in the new apartment and we're falling into a nice rhythm here, I'm glad that I've got a chance to talk with you about this stuff. I wanna help you out. You and Gon are like the two little brothers I never had… and I may not have maternal instincts for you like Kurapika does, but I still care about you and wanna be there for you. I'm sure talking to Kurapika about all this isn't the easiest in the world, so talk to me. You can trust me with this stuff, and I genuinely wanna help you out."

Killua sighed through his nose and faced Leorio, sitting with his legs crossed. The scaled and lanky man mirrored the position, wanting to make the emotionally skittish Valkyrie as comfortable as possible.

The runaway prince glanced over at where Kurapika and Gon were. They had walked a ways down the beach - likely to look for shells to decorate their castle - and were well out of ear shot.

Sapphire eyes peeked at those empathetic yellowy depths.

Did he trust Leorio? Yes… yes he did. He was finding that he was getting better at trusting people… and letting them in faster than he had used to. It was a change that felt a little funny inside… but a change that he welcomed nonetheless.

"So… um. What do I say?" Killua mumbled.

Leorio gave him a warm and charismatic grin. "Anything you like. You can tell me about Gon, or how you started liking him if you want. Or whatever's been on your mind with that recently. I'm you're bi buddy! Here with cool colored emotional support!"

"You did not just use the bi flag in a sentence," the Valkyrie snickered, loosening up.

"I totally did!" the Goblin said, cracking out a laugh to match.

"Well… I really like Gon and all," Killua had to trail off for a second and try to rub the aggressively growing blush off his face. Leorio tilted his head to the side, Killua's little crush was so adorable and endearing! "But… well, I've tried to talk to Kurapika about it and he's already given me an earful on the subject… but he's kinda rough with his words of encouragement, ya know?"

The Goblin laughed in understanding. "Yeah, I know. If he wants you to do something then he wants you to do something! And he'll attack! Even if that something is loving yourself or others or something soft like that. His advice can come off as a lot."

Killua felt a relaxed smile creeping onto his face. "Yeah… I'm glad you get it. Uh, anyways. I just… I like Gon. So much. And I just… he's my best friend!"

Leorio nodded in agreement.

"I can't just… he's supposed to be my best friend, not someone I think about like this!"

Gods, I'm so bad at expressing my emotions.

The Goblin nodded in understanding, much to Killua's relief. "I totally get where you're coming from. Liking your friend can be… a lot. It can seem wrong or unwelcomed." His eyes got a little soft. "But what you have to remember is that these feelings are natural. You can't hate yourself for feeling this way for a person, even if that person is a friend who likes you strictly in a platonic manner. They're still your friend, and you love them no matter what. So you love them a little more than a friend does? That's fine! You still care about them… and caring about a friend is never wrong."

Killua felt his eyes getting all watery, and he commanded his tears to stay away… but was still unable to keep the waver from his voice when he said: "Really?"

"Yeah," Leorio said softly.

"I've been… sort of coming to that conclusion on my own lately… but it really helps to hear it from someone else."

"Of course. Love is a happy thing. Never will it be an evil thing, or a rotten thing."

"So… it's okay that I like Gon like that? There's nothing twisted or wrong with me?"

"Nope, nothing at all. Never think that about yourself," Leorio ordered with a reassuring smile.

"But…" Gods fucking dammit I really hate to ask this.

"Shoot," Leorio prompted.

"What if… um." Killua's face started gaining heat fast. "What-what if you uh. Like the person and like. In like a physical way."

Leorio sat without reacting for a moment, before his eyes gained enough light to make Killua cringe. "Oh my GOSH! I didn't know you were capable of smexy talk!"

"Shut the fuck UP!" Killua gasped, voice cracking.

"Sorry, sorry! It's just," Leorio had to pause for a laugh. "I'm just so excited right now!"

"Why the hell would that be," Killua grumbled, drawing his legs up and hiding his face between his knees.

"Because I finally have someone to talk dirty with!"

Nope. That was it. Killua sat up and stabbed a finger in Leorio's direction, tail swishing threateningly behind him. "That is not what's happening here! This is a SERIOUS problem! I can't like Gon that way! Have you fucking seen him?! I can't just think those awful thoughts about him! The fuck do I do with thoughts like those?!" Killua broke off, panting on and very much on the verge of a panic attack.

Leorio noticed, and thankfully returned to his doting uncle mode. "Killua. Just like thoughts of love and like, thoughts of lust are just as natural. There is nothing wrong with… being sexually attracted to Gon."

"I hate hearing that out loud," Killua groaned into his hands, ready to cry.

"But it's true," the Goblin said softly, crawling over to sit next to Killua and rest his hand on a pale shoulder. "If you like someone enough to want to make love to them… it means that you care about them a whole lot. It's a testament to how much you love a person. I mean… you feel this way for Gon cause you like him, and not just based solely on physical attraction right?"

"Right," Killua whined, hating this conversation.

"So you started liking Gon, and then started being physically attracted to him? That's completely normal! That's just your body telling you that lady is rockin' and it's about time to get sockin'!"

"'Sockin'' is not a sexual term and never will be," Killua growled, glaring at Leorio from over his folded arms. "And Gon is not just some stupid lady! He's… he's… he's Gon! He's kind and handsome and sweet and so so adorable… and he genuinely cares about me… just not in the way I want him to. But… is it wrong to want him to stop liking me as a friend, and like me as a love interest instead?"

"Killua," Leorio sighed. "It doesn't work that way. You don't stop liking a person as a friend when you start liking them romantically! If you fall in love with a person, you still care about them as a friend! Love builds off of friendship! So you aren't asking Gon to relinquish your friendship, and what you're doing isn't destroying your friendship. The feeling you're experiencing is sort of an enhanced version of that friendship. A more emotional connection than friendship. A deeper and more evolved version."

Killua gazed at Leorio in shock, an expression akin to horror on his face. "So… I'm not a disgusting person for loving Gon as a lover instead of a friend? I can still see him as a friend without tainint that friendship with my non-platonic feelings?"

Leorio nodded, giving Killua a soft smile.

"And… Gon won't stop liking me as a friend if he starts to like me that way? He'll still like me as a friend no matter what? I won't lose him as my best friend in exchange for this?"

"Yep. It seems to me like you already know this stuff, kiddo."

Killua blinked several times. Overwhelmed with feelings of relief and reassurance.

"Wait," he said, sitting criss cross again and re-facing Leorio. "I can't accept this. This can't be– so it's normal for me to want to kiss Gon and hug him and it's normal to get hard because of him and have crazy dreams about him?"

"Uh, yeah," Leorio sputtered. "You… really like Gon, huh?"

"Well… I guess."

"Did you say you get hard because of him?"

"SHUT UP!"

"Alright, alright! I'm just messing with you!" the Goblin laughed. "Don't attack me, I just really like girl talk! Or rather… boy talk."

"Great, you and Kurapika are made for each other," the Valkyrie growled.

"Wha-what was that?" Leorio asked, suddenly getting a little weird.

"Oh, nothing," Killua sighed. For someone who got so upset over how dense Gon could be with other people's feelings, he really was just as bad. If not worse.

"Uh, yeah! Right! Nothing!" Leorio cleared his throat.

Killua sat back on his hands, feet hanging off the boardwalk. He drank in the salty air and sat watching the sunset across the ocean with Gon. This had become some sort of a ritual between the two of them.

The ocean was absolutely beautiful. The darkening atmosphere stained it a spectacular midnight navy, and the tips of the waves were flaming orange like the sun… and like Gon's eyes. The sky was the main event, however. It was an incredible oil painting of oranges, pinks, purples, and the all consuming black of the night. At the moment, the sun was midway through its journey downwards, and the sky was set in oranges and yellows. Pinkish clouds danced along the outer edges of the sunset, and pink faded to blue, then purple, then black.

A humid breeze ruffled Killua's half dried hair, which was sticking to his face and neck. It was still oppressively hot outside, so the breeze didn't chill him, but for when it inevitably would he had an oversized flannel waiting for him. Gon didn't need a jacket for the ocean's nightly chill, as he claimed. He told Killua many stories about his midnight beach walks on the shores of Whale Island.

Each story was colorful and vivid, possessing details and emotions that were lacking in the tales of his wild travels. Whale Island clearly had his heart… and that fact made Killua fall for him all the more.

"Killua, I still think you should go fishing with me," Gon murmured, breaking the peaceful silence. His warm voice brushed past Killua's ears, slipping through his sensory nerves and sending a warm light aglow in his chest.

"When fishing season comes?" the Valkyrie asked softly.

"Yeah," Gon said, the smile audible in his voice. "I love fishing, and I want to share it with you. Everything becomes more fun and enjoyable once you're there with me, Killua. I want to bring that light to fishing as well."

Killua's breath caught in his throat.

Did he just compare my presence by his side… to light?

The silver haired boy looked over at Gon, silhouetted by the golden sunset, eyes glowing brighter than ever.

Could he possibly… perceive me as light? Just as I do him?

It's… so… beautiful.

I want that so badly. I ache for that to be true.

Killua found himself reaching his hand up, fingers extending to cup Gon's face. To feel those tan cheeks. To touch the tips of his fingers in that dark hair. To brush his thumb over that plump bottom lip.

But no.

He couldn't do that.

Because that would be crossing the unspoken line in the sand.

The one that Killua could barely manage to consciously think into being.

The line in the sand that was the gap between their emotions.

The line in the sand that was… the fact that Gon didn't see him that way.

And he never would.

So Killua put his hand back down at his side against the wooden boards. A much colder and rougher sensation than the feel of Gon's skin against his would have been. A sensation… that suddenly covered Killua's hand? The very hand that had just reached up for that fleeting touch?

"Killua," Gon murmured, his hand placed over the mercenary's. The mercenary whose heart was suddenly in his throat. "Promise you'll go fishing with me? When the fishing season comes?"

The Valkyrie smiled, dopey and lovesick in all its glory.

"I promise."

Gon smiled. "Yay. Thanks Killua. That makes me happy."

You're the one… who makes me happy.

Gon left his hand in place over Killua's, and together they sat in silence watching the sun until it disappeared into the ocean, staining the sky silver and bathing them in the silvery light of the moon.

Cold black eyes gazed down upon the boardwalk. Perched upon the highest building on the seashore, Illumi crouched and readied himself. He unfolded his wings, the salty wing hissing as it slid across the silky membrane. His tail flicked in anger.

He drew a handful of pins in his pouch, and readjusted the hold on his bloodlust.

"Kill. I've finally found you. But what on earth are you doing down there with that dirty half-blood?"

He bent down lower, bunching his muscles and sending Valkyrie strength sprawling through his veins and into his wings, ready to leap and fly.

He would save his dear little brother, that was assured. He'd save him from the disgusting presence of that sorry excuse for a being. He'd kill that dirty half-blood, and he'd return Killua to his rightful place at their father's right hand.

"Don't worry, Kill. Big Brother is on the way," he said as he leapt, and swooped downwards into the night, nose diving for the boardwalk and the delicate friendship residing upon it.


AN: when Togashi reunites Killua and Gon (which he WILL, let me hope okay) if he brings back the "you are light" analogy but GON says it instead of KILLUA and better yet he says it OUT LOUD, then I will fucking die. of happiness.