A/N: Well, this was just a little something I wrote last night at 1:00. I got the idea from my own day: it was really, really, boring. And I'm so glad the SVU marathon came on USA yesterday, or else I just might have died from boredom.
It was a cold, gray day in New York. It was dreary and wet outside, due to the snow that had just melted, which was now being topped off with rain.
A bored Olivia Benson sat at a desk by the window, sipping a cup of coffee, courtesy of her partner Elliot. He, Fin, and John all sat at their desks, filing paperwork. It was the perfect thing to do on such a dreadful day.
"Man, I don't get it," said Elliot, leaning back in his chair. "Not one single case today."
"Hey, maybe all the pedophiles and rapists just took a day off," said Munch, closing a folder full of dull, boring documents. "Who could blame 'em? I mean, look outside. It's like someone murdered the sun," said Fin. "Makes you want to go to sleep," Elliot replied.
Sure enough, Olivia had nodded off at her desk. "Guess the coffee didn't work too well," joked Elliot.
"Let her sleep," Cragen said, stepping out of his office. "Hell, why don't we all go to sleep?" he said. "Really? Thanks Captain," Munch said. "Hell no," said Cragen, slapping another stack of papers on each of the detective's desks. He slammed it hard enough on Olivia's desk to wake her up. Munch could've sworn his pile was the largest.
"Somebody's got their panties in a bunch," Elliot muttered.
"I heard that!" Cragen yelled from his office.
The day rolled on, ever so slowly. Everyone finished their paperwork in an hour. But one problem still remained; it was still dreadful and boring at 6-1. Just then, Casey Novak came in wearing something particularly hideous. Her hair was blond on the left side and red on the right. She wore a turtleneck that was a vile shade of puke green. Her red pants that were decorated with horrifyingly ugly sequins, and the pants were exactly one inch too short for her. Her shoes were flat and brown, and looked like pancakes on her disgustingly crusty feet.
"Damn, is it Christmas already?" asked Fin. The others tried to stifle their laughter.
"Hey guys!" she said, with an irritatingly sweet tone of perkiness, not hearing Fin's comment. "Hey," the detectives said unenthusiastically.
"Yeah, what's up? We don't have any cases open," Olivia said, glancing at her pants. She inwardly decided not to make any comment about her choice of fashion today. No, not just today. Every day.
"Well, you know, I just decided I'd come on over and hang out," Casey replied. Suddenly, a trapdoor opened from beneath Casey's feet. She fell (obviously) and as she landed, they heard a loud splash of water.
They were astonished at this. But, they were glad, also. This meant that they wouldn't have to hear Casey talk. I think we all know how excruciating that can be. "Don't worry, she'll be fine," said George, stepping in at the same moment with some kind of device in his hand. "Hey, get me one of those," exclaimed Fin. "Then, maybe one of these days, I can shut Munch up," he said.
"I'm just dropping by," George said. But a tiny, evil voice in his head said: 'And i'm here to wreak ultimate havoc on the precinct!' George struggled to keep a high pitched giggle from escaping his lips. Olivia and Elliot looked at each other, and Elliot leaned over and said, "I wonder if he realizes he thinks about things out loud."
In a flash, George was on the floor, and so was his device, which was now in dozens of tiny bits. Casey stood at the door, drenched in water. Her sleeves were torn. Let's just keep it simple by saying she looked like a wet cat. "Noooooooooooooooooo!" screamed George. "My device! It's ruined!"
"Who did this? Who did this?" Casey yelled in a rage. "You. You did it!" She said, shaking a dripping finger at Munch. "Whoa, hey, don't point fingers," he said. "Bad pun," Fin muttered. Suddenly, a book was airborne. It hit John in the face, and his glasses came flying off. "My glasses! I can't see without my glasses," Munch whined, feeling around on the floor.
While this was happening, Olivia, Fin, and Elliot were all laughing uproariously at the scene unfolding in front of them. Abruptly, Melinda Warner came flying through a window. "Okay, this is getting too weird," Olivia said. "Ugh… Where am I? My head hurts…" Melinda said, dazed and confused. She rubbed her head.
But, no one except Olivia had noticed, because they were too busy watching Munch run into walls while trying to escape Casey, all the while screaming like an eight- year old girl. George was on the floor, crying over his broken invention. Cragen was yelling at everyone, wanting to know what the ruckus was.
There in the precinct, a red button was on the wall. The button said, "Do not push." "Hey," Elliot said. "I've never seen this here before." And of course, he pushed the button. Suddenly, a siren sounded. Then, a short man in a karate gi came out and slapped Elliot. "What did the button say? What did it say?" the short man yelled, giving Elliot a sound beating. "It said don't push!" Elliot whimpered, trying to shield himself from the blows.
"Ok, good," the man said. He got up, dusted his hands, and disappeared in a vaporizing mist. Fin, however, took the chaos as a great opportunity for him and Melinda to set off some fireworks inside the building. Melinda didn't know any better, because she had gotten amnesia when she landed inside. "One… Two… Three! Light this sucker up!" Fin exclaimed, and Melinda lit the fuse. They plugged their ears, and the fireworks went off. Of course, things caught on fire. "Oh my god!" Olivia shouted. Elliot got up, and looked at the fire. "This is a job for… Super Elliot!" he said, and drew two water pistols from his pocket. He ripped off his shirt to reveal a red and blue shirt with a yellow "SE" in the middle. He squirted the water guns and somehow doused the small fire that threatened to consume Olivia's desk.
Cragen had given up trying to settle everyone down. He was extremely stressed. It didn't help, either, that the pharmacy had accidentally been switching his medicine with estrogen pills. Whoops. Cragen sat at his desk and bawled like a baby.
Munch ran like a wild rabbit around the small office, and a very angry Casey Novak followed. Finally, Munch slipped up. Literally. And Casey caught up to him, and began beating the crap out of him.
"Ouch," Fin said, wincing. "Munch is gonna have some bruises to remember," Meanwhile, Olivia had wrestled the other water pistol from Elliot's grasp. "Hey, what are you-" he started, but was cut off by the spray of cold water in his face. Olivia smirked and squirted him a second time, ignoring his protests. "Okay," Elliot said, grinning. "You want to play, huh?" he asked. Elliot ducked under his desk, and in a flurry of papers, surfaced with a giant Super Soaker. "No fair!" Olivia whined. She tried to run, but Elliot shot her square in her back. "Watch it, I have a gun," he said, smiling mischievously. "So do I," Olivia said, and suddenly she grabbed the other pistol Elliot had abandoned, and shot him with both at the same time.
This chaos continued for several hours, and pretty soon, Elliot and Olivia were soaked from head to toe. Fin's pants had caught on fire. George and Cragen both had red, puffy eyes from crying so much. Munch was severely bruised on almost every part of his body. Casey was apparently satisfied with this, and stopped attacking him. And Melinda? Well, she was still sitting on the floor, rubbing her head and asking questions.
Out of the blue, a telephone rang. It was such an alien sound; everyone just froze in their places. They hadn't had one single call all day. Cragen cautiously walked over to the phone and answered it. "Hello? Yes, this is Captain Cragen. No, I am NOT crying. Ok, we're on it," Cragen spoke into the phone, between sniffles. He hung up the phone. "Benson, Stabler?" He started. "There's a rape homicide downtown. We need you guys to get down there." Several sighs could be heard throughout the room. "Well, guess it couldn't last forever," Munch said. Cragen began crying even harder. "I just don't understand... Why are people so inconsiderate?" he said. The detectives said nothing as they tried not to erupt in laughs.
So, slowly, the day returned to normal. But every day from then on, secretly, they all wished for another rainy day.
Moozy: O.o Wow, that was… interesting…
SL: Sure was. Don't forget to drop me a review!
Moozy: Unless, of course, you're afraid of review buttons.
SL: Yes, in that case, you might not have to review.
