Zushi squirmed beneath the scrutinizing gazes of the two boys before him. Gods, they were so intimidating! His social anxiety was bad enough already, why did they have to be so tall on top of that?! Not to mention they were famous arena fighters! Holy crap, how had he even gotten himself into this mess?!

That was simple, really.

Zushi had been spectating a fight on the 300th floor as homework, but on the way back to the elevators he had stumbled across a chance encounter between Hisoka (a seriously sketchy arena fighter) and Gon and Killua! The two most promising rookies!

The fanboy in him had been screaming, but the fighter in him had been shaken to the core. Gon and Killua clearly had not known what was going on, and Hisoka wasn't going to let them pass until they could see what he was doing!

Zushi knew exactly what he was doing, and for some reason felt compelled to help the other boys out.

They were pretty much the same age, afterall!

Young Arena fighters should stick together, right?

That didn't make this any easier though…

Zushi felt his tail squirming behind him. Gods, he wished it would stop that! It was so embarrassing… He'd just introduced himself to his idols in a rush, and now they were just looking at each other and he swore he was gonna die on spot–

Gon and Killua suddenly nodded, and the hybrid cracked a smile. The Valkyrie still looked cold and impassive… but at least his claws weren't drawn I guess?

"I'm Gon! And this is Killua!" the silver haired boy gave a peace sign. "It's really nice to meet you, Zushi!" Gon stuck his hand out in greeting.

"Oh, uh, yeah!" Zushi sputtered, before awkwardly placing his hand in Gon's and getting it shaken up and down a few times.

"You said that you wanted to talk to us about what happened in the hallway?" the less friendly Killua inquired. "Does that mean that you were watching?"

"Uh," Zushi swallowed, feeling his cheeks heating up. Damn it! Why did Killua have to be so intimidating?! And why was he so awkward all the time, this was so embarrassing! "Yeah, I did happen to see all that. I was just passing through! So I wasn't stocking the two of you or anything, well, I do follow your fights, but… Yeah."

Gon blinked, still grinning. Killua narrowed his eyes.

Why do I feel like a third wheel–

"What did you want to talk to us about?" the Valkyrie demanded, earning an elbow in the ribs from Gon, who scolded him for being mean.

Zushi gave a strangled laugh, still feeling wayyyy out of place in the presence of these literal celebrities. "Yes, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Um," he paused, looking around. "This really isn't the ideal place to talk about this, but it'll have to do." Zushi took a deep breath, forcing his ears up to attention and his tail to stop squirming.

He had Gon and Killua's full attention. Zushi took a deep breath, and forced himself to meet their eyes. "This is going to sound completely unrealistic, but I assure you that this is entirely true. The strange power that Hisoka was using, the one that you felt but could not see, is an ancient and powerful force. It is called Blood Magic. It is the art of the Sorcerers and all Magic wielders."

"He was using Magic?" Killua interrupted, confused. "That doesn't make sense. I lived with a real Sorcerer for months, and I may not know how his Magic worked but I sure as hell could see it. There's no way that clown is a Sorcerer."

Zushi met Killua's gaze dead on, keeping his ears alert to signify truth. "There is more to Magic than what resides on the surface." The three boys stood in silence, eyeing each other up as the elevator passed floor after floor, being flung into shadows as it passed through each level.

"Hisoka… was using Magic?" Gon asked, breaking the silence.

Zushi nodded. "Correct. Although, the correct term is Blood Magic. When you just say "magic," it connotes magicians and child's play. It is a disguise in the knowledge of the public, a sacred and dangerous power hidden in plain sight. It is the way of the Sorcerer never to disclose the true nature of their power, and that is why this Sorcerer you speak of did not show you the truth of his abilities."

Killua narrowed his eyes, but flicked an ear in recognition of Zushi's superior knowledge.

"If Sorcerers like to keep this a secret," Gon said slowly, mind clearly struggling. "Then how do you know about it?"

Well, moment of truth.

Zushi took another deep breath, trying to keep his squirming anxiety from tying his stomach into knots. "I am a Sorcerer in training. As in, I am currently being trained in the Dark Arts."

Killua growled. "The Dark Arts? That's necromancy and seances."

Zushi met those intense sapphire eyes once again. "More misconceptions, purposefully placed in the minds of the Unawakened. All Magical activity is the same, it is all Blood Magic, a Sorcerer is no different from a necromancer, for they practice the same craft."

Gon chuckled lightly, sounding overwhelmed. "I feel like we've just been let in on something really big."

"That's true," Zushi murmured with a nod, heart racing. Gon and Killua might not have understood the gravity of this situation… but Zushi most definitely did. He was breaking so many rules in the Sorcerers' Code right about now… but he had a feeling about these two. And it told him that he shouldn't leave them in the dark… if his instincts were correct, then Gon and Killua would have stumbled across this knowledge sooner or later. If anything, Zushi should be glad that it was him to tell them.

Whenever Blood Magic was involved, things could get very dangerous very fast.

Gon and Killua seriously had no idea what they were getting themselves into…

And honestly Zushi felt a little guilty about dragging them into this culture. But it was inevitable… Hisoka should not have used his Unvetted Blood Magic against Unawakened ones. Especially not against humanoids of their caliber.

"If Sorcerers are not supposed to talk about this stuff," Killua said darkly, "Then why are you here telling us about it?"

Zushi gripped his fists. "Because I want to help you!"

Gon blinked, and Killua quirked a silver brow.

"I've been watching you guys' fights for the past several weeks… and you guys are really inspiring. For a lower level fighter like me, seeing rookies like you who are so young shoot up so fast is incredibly motivating! I just… I feel like I have kindred spirits in the two of you. Honestly, you guys have sort of become my idols. And when I saw Hisoka assaulting you with his Blood Magic like that… I couldn't just stand back and let you stumble into a world you know nothing about. Not when I have the power to help you! Hisoka is a dangerous and incredibly powerful Sorcerer, and he's not going to let you sign up for your next battle unless you can see what he's doing. I'm an Arena fighter too, I know that you only have 23 odd hours before you get evicted. I know how to get you two the ability to see Hisoka's power, and I want to help."

Gon and Killua looked at Zushi for a moment, and then looked at each other.

The Cryptid stood completely still, waiting. This was so incredibly risky–

Wing was going to be so incredibly mad at him–

But he had to do this. He didn't know why he felt this way… but he just had to.

Suddenly, amber eyes were on Zushi and pinning him to the spot. "Will learning about this Blood Magic stuff… make us stronger?"

His voice was hard. It was cold and excited, and his eyes burned with some emotion…

An emotion that scared Zushi.

This was what a true Arena warrior looked like.

Someone who would do anything to advance.

It gave the brunette chills.

"Yes," he answered. "It will make you much stronger. It will place you on a level higher than you have ever imagined. You two may be at the peak of your physical form, but you haven't even Awakened your metaphysical form. The potential lying before you is unfathomable, believe me."

Gon's eyes met the floor, considering. Zushi's heart was racing, the tension in the elevator was suddenly thick enough to swim in. The hybrid eyes shot back up, wild and flaming. He gave a jagged grin, and Zushi swore he detected a spike in his biochemical through that chilling aura.

"Count us in," he said, voice low and on the verge of an excited growl.

It sent a shiver down Zushi's spine, and he felt his face heat up a bit. He noticed a similar reaction in Killua… and suddenly felt like he needed to back off–

"Yeah," the Valkyrie agreed. "If this is what is required to get past Hisoka, then we don't really have a choice, do we?"

Killua was clearly the more level-headed of the two.

The elevator completed its journey, leaving the three of them in the semi-darkness of the lobby stop. The contraption gave a cheerful ding, and the doors slid open. The din of the constant chaos that was the Heaven's Arena lobby fell over the tense mood in the elevator like a blanket, but Zushi still felt like he was walking on thin ice.

Something about Gon's reaction made Zushi feel like he'd just awakened a monster.

"Alright," he said, glad that his voice came out so level and cool sounding. "Follow me. I am going to bring you to my master, Wing. He lives nearby, and he can tell you all about Blood Magic, as well as what needs to be done to get you able to see Hisoka's power."

"Perfect!" Gon chipred, skipping forward to sling his arm around Zushi's shoulders. "Lead the way!" Zushi tensed up a little at the sudden contact, not expecting such a gesture from a hybrid. Cryptids were very touchy-feely species, but finding those same tendencies in different humanoids was unexpected. He supposed that humans could be physically close though?

The brunette smiled, deciding to just roll with it. It'd be nice to be around someone who accepted frequent physical contact! Although… he didn't like the prickling up his spine that came with being so close to Gon. The prickling came from Killua, who was looking Zushi up and down as if he were some sort of threat.

Killua is pretty protective of Gon… I wish he'd stop looking at me like that.

I'm not a threat, I swear!

Killua followed Gon and Zushi through the city streets, a sour taste in his mouth. He didn't like how Gon was being so close with Zushi. They seemed to have made friends alarmingly quickly… Why was Gon doing that? Wasn't Killua right here? Why did he need Zushi? He didn't!

The Valkyrie sighed and focused on getting his aura in check.

The truth of the matter was… that Killua had gotten a whole lot more touchy when it came to Gon. Over the past three weeks and since that conversation with Leorio… Killua had fully come to terms and accepted his feelings for Gon. He liked his best friend.

A lot.

And…

He liked him so much that he couldn't breathe sometimes.

Two weeks prior, and a week after the conversation with Leorio, Gon and Killua had been taking a walk on the beach. It was peaceful and quiet, and the gentle rolling of the waves against the shore served to take away any and all stressors.

The sun was setting against a wall of fluffy rain clouds scattered across the edges of the sky, and the entire atmosphere was stained in baby blue. Streaks of pale pink were blended across the expanse, gentle touches from a loving painter's brush. The world was soft and blue, and a gentle and slightly chilled breeze blew on through, whispering promises of a midnight rain soon to some.

The moon was rising, hanging above the center of the ocean like a sparkling diamond. It was a waning gibbous, and the ovular shape looked glossy and blurry from behind its veil of thin clouds. The silvery light played against the ocean, taking part in a lazy scuffle with what was left of the sun's rays.

With the glorious ocean to his left and the sprawling Yorknew City to his right… Killua felt like he was walking through a rift between worlds. And with Gon at his side… he felt like they were closer than ever. Sandwiched together between nature and humanoid creation, it was only the two of them and the crabs that occasionally scuttled across their path.

Gon was walking closest to the ocean, warm waves lapping up under his feet and pulling at the sand that supported his wave. He gave a placated little hum each time his toes were submerged, never getting over the surprise and joy from the first time. Droplets sprayed up his ankles and around his thighs, beckoning the sand to come and get stuck, which it did. His legs were decorated like a high ranking general, though with sand in place of medals.

It fit him so well… the sand… the surf.

The ocean was truly where Gon belonged.

Seeing him in the element of his childhood like this… it was impossible to look away.

He was so relaxed, and his face was so peaceful. He was even more beautiful than he already was with the ocean rolling off to the side, framing his face and bringing out the dark of his horns and hair. The speckles across his cheeks had darkened with all this exposure to the sun, as well as his skin itself. His skin was dark and warm, and he looked like he belonged on these heavenly shores. Like he was too otherworldly and perfect to grace this humane society.

Killua often compared Gon to angels… and that's exactly what he was.

In the Valkyrie's eyes, anyway.

Angels were well known as the soft and holy counterpart to the dark and devilish Valkyries. Angels were the other side of the coin, with soft feathery wings instead of veiny ones crisscrossed with scars and striking patterns of sinew.

Angels were soft, peaceful, and benevolent.

Valkyries were hard, violent, and cruel.

Angels had always been something Killua had looked up to… a humanoid he wished he had been born as. For the Angels truly were the other side of them mirror, the complete opposite of the Dragonite world Killua had walked and still did.

And Gon was exactly that… a sparkling edifice looming above Killua in all his sparkling glory. He was everything Killua wasn't, yet everything he desperately wanted to be. The Valkyrie yearned for the embrace of this warm and bubbly person, yet he was trapped at arms length. He could never have anything like that from Gon…

Because Gon could never know.

Killua could dream and fantasize about being with him all he wanted. His sleeping mind could be absorbed with flashes of steamy bedroom scenes and tender moments. But those were moments that Killua could never have. For Gon would never like him back. Not a person like him.

Not to mention the fact that Killua did not deserve him.

He did not deserve that warm and caring smile to be directed at him with love and affection…

Gon had given him his friendship, and that was incredible. That was all he should need… it was all he deserved anyway. But at times like these…

Killua's breath caught in his throat as he watched Gon watch the waves. His hair was tousled by the salty humidity and the wind, and it was floppy and relaxed against his neck. It still stuck out behind his head like the demonic older brother of a cowlick… but it was so fluffy and adorable all the same. He looked so happy, and Killua couldn't see his eyes but he just knew that they were sparkling like stars.

He wanted to…

He so desperately wanted to…

Killua tentatively reached out for Gon's hand, hung relaxed and casual at his side.

He wanted to hold that hand. He wanted to physically connect himself to Gon, to physically share this moment. Killua loved the sea because the sea was Gon, but as much as he loved it he knew it was not for him. Warm beaches and the embrace of the salty waves were for Gon and his joyful soul and his kind heart.

Cold mountain ranges with deadly snow and jagged peaks were for Killua and his prickly exterior and sulking remains of a soul hiding beneath.

Yet… if he just touched that hand… entwined their pinky fingers at the very least… then he could have the sand and sea as well. If he could touch Gon in this moment… then he could truly experience the love of his childhood days, the playground he had in place of the one the other kids shunned him from.

I just want to be closer–

I need to be closer, I need it so bad it hurts.

Killua gritted his teeth and yanked his hand back where it belonged, at his side, not at Gon's.

He couldn't do that here, what was he, joking?! The only time he was permitted to hold Gon's hand was when they were dragging each other around… but even that was a stretch. Even then he should be grabbing Gon's wrist, not his hand.

Oh, but at times like these–

Killua's heart spasmed in his chest, begging to be set free. Watching Gon from behind as he always did… the Valkyrie wanted nothing more than to dash up and wrap his arms around the other boy. He wanted to feel his skin, he wanted to drink in his scent. He wanted to glue the two of them together and never let go.

It was because he liked him and he needed to touch him, to be closer.

He needed to share these feelings, he needed to act on them and show Gon just how much he meant to him…

But he couldn't do that.

He couldn't do that because he wasn't good enough for Gon.

He could whine over Gon like this in his head all he wanted… but bringing these fantasies to life–

Never.

Gon deserved better.

He could do better than Killua.

But… but… damn it, no he couldn't do better!

Seeing Gon playing around with Zushi like this… it made Killua so damn mad! Fuck, this hurt so bad! Gon didn't need Zushi, he had him! Killua couldn't have Gon as a lover but he had him as a friend–

And that was exactly why he kept getting all possessive like this.

He was already insecure enough when it came to his feelings. Their friendship was the only medium Killua had to properly experience and show his gratitude to Gon. That was Killua's turf, Gon was Killua's!

He was Killua's to touch and horse around with and talk playfully with and dammit, why was Zushi getting to do all these things?! Zushi whom Gon had just met like two seconds ago?!

Killua cared about Gon more than anyone in the entire fucking universe!

If anyone deserved to be close like that it was HIM!

And this… is exactly why I do not deserve Gon.

Look at him, playing around with Zushi like that. Not wanting to murder him scatter his entrails.

I'm just this dark husk of a person following Gon around. He tosses the scraps of his dinner to me like the dog I am, and here I am falling in love with him! What the hell…

I really don't deserve you, Gon.

You're so much better than me, you're everything I'm not and everything I want to follow.

I'll follow you anywhere, even into death itself.

I need to calm down, I know that! You're not a possession, you're a person! An incredible person that's above me in every way and form. And I need to relax and let you have a life outside of me… it's the least I can do. I occupy your every waking hour, I absorb every positive wave you happen to send out when I'm near. I feed off of you like some disgusting parasite.

I'm addicted to your presence, I want to touch you and love you and show you how much I care.

You're giving Zushi the same treatment you give me… and he's not obsessing over you and dreaming about you kissing him up and down. He's not enraptured by you and crying through cold showers every other night…

You deserve… someone like Zushi.

A friend who isn't… me.

I know this, but holy fuck am I a devil.

Knowing all that… I'm still not just gonna sit by. Dammit. We've gotten so close over these past three weeks. I know it's all in my head cause I'm head over heels for you, but sometimes when you just sit there and look at me… like that time on the boardwalk when we talked about fishing… I get hopeful.

I know it's a fool's hope, and adict's hope.

But I'll cling onto any scrap you happen to toss my way.

And I just can't stand to see Zushi all over you like this.

Their relationship had been so amazing over these past three weeks. It felt like they were balancing on the edge of a pool, like they were about to tumble forwards into a warm and steaming ocean of… of what Killua yearned for most. They were right on the outskirts of something more, Killua could just sense it.

Nothing big had been happening, no Neko-Girls, no Ice Serpents, Skinwalkers, no new Arena to learn the ropes of. They had already claimed Heaven's Arena as their own space. They were right at home here, and were free to progress as friends just as they had in the forest on the way to the mountains.

They had been able to pick up right where they had left off every time something crazy had happened… and it had been so nice. Everything had been so peaceful and normal… nothing crazy and certainly nothing dangerous. They had been free to just be… them. Just Gon and Killua.

And Killua swore to the gods, he could sense it in the air between them.

When they'd stand on the balcony or the beach watching the sunset like always… he could feel it in the air. They were so close–

Both in a literal sense and in a sense of something coming.

And he was not going to let Zushi step in and destroy this rhythm they'd been able to fall back into! He was not going to let any craziness set in and press pause again!

The Valkyrie finally snapped, and marched forward to where Gon and Zushi were walking and chattering. He slipped his way in between them, ducking under their arms and squishing himself up against Gon. He wrapped his arm around Gon's shoulder, and shoved Zushi off. The other boy backed away, and Gon's arm fell slack at Killua's side.

The assassin gave the Cryptid an angry look, yeah, that's right!

This was his Gon, and Zushi couldn't have him!

"So, Zushi. What are you doing around here in Yorknew City anyway? I know you're fighting in the arena, but why are you here?" The translation of this was: why do I have to experience your presence.

Gon laughed in exasperation, understanding the Killua-speak with ease. He let his hand fall slack against Killua's side, and placed his hand comfortably on his friend's waist. The Valkyrie's hand tightened around his shoulders in return, and a tail brushed against his thigh.

He liked standing close to Killua like this.

He could smell him better this way.

Meanwhile, Zushi watched Killua watch him. The Valkyrie watched him take in his and Gon's closeness, and he reveled in the awkwardness swirling in those brown eyes. Yes! Suffer, you stupid third wheel!

"Well, I wasn't born here, if that's what you're asking," he said, sounding uncomfortable and nervous.

Killua had never been more pleased with himself.

Gon shook his head as he watched Killua interrogate Zushi. The poor dog-boy! He was probably scared out of his mind right about now! The Valkyrie could be very intimidating. But Killua was Killua, and Gon couldn't help but feel a little fluffy inside while he watched his best friend attack his new friend with intrusive questions.

He giggled as Killua and Zushi shot back and forth, it was like a tortoure master and their victim!

Maybe Gon should be standing up for Zushi, but he liked watching Killua mess with him… as mean as that sounded. Something about seeing Killua come barging in, clearly jealous, and start trying to scare Zushi off was… what was this, endearing? Cute?

Sure, Gon thought Killua was cute. It was true! He was!

But was it weird that Gon felt all… warm seeing Killua acting like this?

Whatever, it was probably nothing!

Gon had other things on his mind. Killua was his best friend, and whatever it was he was feeling was okay because it was Killua. But these other things he was feeling…

Zushi said I can get… that I can get stronger.

I haven't heard those words since…

Killua was too busy attacking Zushi with questions to notice, and Gon was glad.

He didn't really want Killua seeing the look in his eyes as he thought these things.

It's been forever since I've had any real training, since I've had a goal to further myself.

Ever since then… I thought I couldn't possibly get any stronger. I'm at the peak of my physical form… My expertise in hand-to-hand is literally perfect, and I've already mastered a weapon. There's no way I can get any stronger at this point. There's my neurotoxin, sure, but that was a part of me and I've already mastered it in full. That was nothing compared to truly getting stronger…

Discovering my neurotoxin was like a tiny taste of water after dehydrating in the desert for six months. But this…

There's an entire other world of power that I was not aware of.

I can… I can get stronger.

I can…

Rewrite that mistake.

Gon felt his aura turn cold, and made sure to keep it close and concealed. This chill running up his spine… it scared him. He didn't want to remember these things… but at the same time.

He could finally fix it.

He could finally reach that unattainable next level.

Maybe he hadn't been able to level up back then - when it mattered - but being able to level up in his memory… it gave Gon a certain sense of closure. A certain sense of accomplishment. With this… maybe he could finally be at peace.