Once again Charlie followed after Tonks and Hermione who were talking animatedly, catching up on all the gossip. Charlie didn't know who any of the people they discussed were and neither woman was paying him the least bit of attention anyway. They rode the elevator up several floors, joined by a flock of paper airplanes that seemed capable of getting themselves from one place to another. "Memos," Hermione explained quickly to Charlie and went back to her conversation with Tonks. Charlie wished they had a system like this at CalSci rather than their unreliable mailroom.
Tonks led them to a small office cramped with two desks. Seated behind one of them was an older man whose hair looked like it had once been as red as Ron's before the grey began to creep in. "Hullo, Tonks!" he greeted when she knocked.
"Hullo, Arthur. I've brought you the muggle." She nudged Charlie closer to the door. "This is Charlie Eppes."
Arthur practically salivated with excitement. Well, at least someone around here seemed to like muggles. "A muggle," he gasped. He clamped Charlie's hands between his own and began to pump mercilessly. "Wonderful. Splendid to have you here. Come in, come in," he said. Charlie tentatively stepped in the office, squeezing in between the furniture. "Oh, we won't need this," he said cheerily and flicked his wand. The second desk vanished. "My office mate will be most cross that I've done that, but we don't want you to be uncomfortable."
Charlie stood in the middle of the new empty space with his hands in his pockets. What could this man possibly want with him?
"What? No kiss for your future daughter-in-law?" Hermione piped up.
Arthur looked almost surprised to see her standing there. "Oh! Hermione! How are you?" He embraced the young woman and kissed her cheek. So, this was Ron's father. At least that explained the hair.
"Well, Mr. Eppes and I have much to discuss so off with you," he said, dismissing the women and shutting the door. Charlie heard a lock click as Arthur returned to his seat behind his desk. Charlie looked around for a chair for himself but couldn't find one. "So, Mr. Eppes, what exactly do you do for a living?"
Charlie cleared his throat. "It's actually Dr. Eppes, and I'm a professor at CalSci. Mathematics," he offered.
Arthur nodded vigorously even though Charlie got the impression he didn't really understand. "So, you study things. How things work?"
"Yes," said Charlie. He supposed it was close enough.
"Like, for example, airplanes. You know how they stay in the air." Arthur was leaning forward in anticipation.
"Airplanes? Sure. But many other things too..."
Arthur cut him off. "Yes, but airplanes. Tell me, how do they stay up in the air?"
Charlie realized he was meant to give a private lecture to this man. Well, at least it was on a topic he understood. Charlie looked around for something to write with. On the desk was a large quill pen which wasn't exactly what he was hoping for.
"Oh, silly me," Arthur said. "You use these, don't you?" Another wand flick and a blackboard and chalk appeared on the wall.
"Thanks," Charlie said. He picked up the chalk and drew an airplane wing."It's a question of air pressure," Charlie began.
"Air has pressure?" Arthur interrupted.
"Well, yes. I mean, air has weight, so it presses down on us at 14.7 lbs per square inch. It's what holds us together. In fact astronauts wear special suits that emulate the earth's air pressure other wise they would explode."
"Hmmm...yes...and we wouldn't want those astro-nuggets exploding. That would make quite a mess indeed," Arthur replied solemnly.
Charlie opened his mouth to explain, and then decided that there would be no point. Charlie talked for a good fifteen minutes about planes and wings and air pressure. He was positive that Arthur wasn't understanding a word of it, but he seemed so delighted, especially by Charlie's drawings and equations that Charlie couldn't help but humor him.
"That's pretty much how it works," Charlie said, trying to brush the chalk dust from his hands. He was used to using a chalk holder.
"Splendid!" Arthur said, coming out from behind his desk. He flicked his wand at Charlie's hands, which instantly became clean. "And this." Another wave of the wand and sheet of paper slid out from behind the blackboard. Charlie saw that it was an exact copy of the contents of the board. He snickered.
"What's amusing?" Arthur asked excitedly, wanting to be in on the joke.
"Oh, it's nothing. It's just that we have boards that can do that too. You know, make a printout of what you've written."
Arthur looked perplexed. "You have magic boards?"
"No, they're not magic. They just... never mind," he said.
Arthur tapped the paper with his wand and suddenly it was affixed to the wall as if it were artwork. He magically cleared the blackboard and plopped back down in his seat.
"Go on," he encouraged, "how do they work?"
Charlie sighed and picked up the chalk again. He actually didn't know exactly how they worked. It wasn't as if he had ever taken one apart. But he could theorize, and this guy was certainly never going to know the difference.
Charlie lectured for a good two hours to a captivated, and utterly baffled, audience on all sorts of topics: batteries, televisions, remote control cars, light switches. Finally there was a merciful knock at the door. Charlie gratefully saw Ron standing there. Charlie was definitely ready to go home.
"Nikka Fowling has a new permanent residence at Azkaban," Ron said triumphantly. Charlie had gleaned from the trial that Azkaban was the prison of the wizarding world.
Arthur smiled broadly and embraced his son. "Well done! Well done indeed!" He clapped the younger Weasley on the arms. "I shall send an owl to your mother right away, and tonight, we celebrate. You'll join us of course, Dr. Eppes?"
Charlie tensed at the thought of spending any more time with this man. He couldn't imagine eating some exotic wizarding food while explaining the internal mechanism of a toilet. Luckily, Ron stepped in.
"Dad, no, I need to take him back before he's missed. You shouldn't have locked him in here to begin with. Tonks should have sent him back as soon as the trial was over."
Arthur sniffed indignantly. "We were only having a friendly little chat. I think he rather liked finding a wizard so knowledgeable about the muggle world."
Ron snickered. "Yeah, Dad, I'm sure it was a real treat. Tell mum I'll be there when I can, okay?" He led Charlie out to the hall. "My Dad's a bit enthusiastic about muggles," he explained, even though Charlie thought that was an understatement. "All set?" He reached into his robe and pulled out the textbook again. "Portus!" he called, tapping it with his wand. Once again, the book began to dance with magic. Charlie laid his hand upon it and once again he was spinning through the air.
--
"There you are!" Alan exclaimed, rushing into the room.
Charlie blinked. He felt like he had been asleep for a week. He rubbed his eyes. He was sitting on the couch in his living room. I don't remember sitting down here, he thought.
Something moved to his right. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Amita. When he turned his head to look at her, pain shot through his neck. How long had he been sitting here? "I feel like my head is going to explode," Amita groaned as she rubbed her temples.
"Me too," came a voice from Charlie's other side. It was Larry. He was wearing a baseball cap that was at least two sizes too big.
"What are you wearing?" Alan demanded much too loudly. He snatched the hat off Larry's head. "Disneyland? You guys went to Disneyland?"
"I don't remember that," Amita said, groggily. She squinted at Charlie's shirt and moved his arms for a better look. "Space Mountain," she read.
Charlie looked. He was definitely wearing a Space Mountain t-shirt. Larry was wearing the same shirt, but his was too small, revealing a soft roll of belly between his pant waist and the bottom of his shirt. Charlie found the sight of Larry's belly button more than a little repulsive. Sometimes Amita would wear shirts that showed off her navel and, somehow, Charlie found his reaction to be quite the opposite.
Amita picked up a pink Minnie Mouse banner from the table. "Did we go to Disneyland?" she asked, disbelieving.
"Well, you went somewhere," Alan replied. "You three have been gone all day. You know, Charlie, you're a grown man. You can come and go as you please. I just ask that you leave a note or something." He poked his head into the kitchen. "They're in here!"
Don emerged and plopped down into one of the armchairs. He quickly examined Larry's cap. "Great. You guys go to an amusement park while I deal with all the headaches." Charlie didn't think that Don's headache could possibly compare to his own.
"What's going on?" Charlie asked, even though he wished everyone would just stop talking. Larry was fishing a half-eaten hot dog out of his pocket. He examined it, sniffed it, and took a bite. Amita looked disgusted.
"Well, we were going back through all the evidence and we found the blueprints. I mean, Larry, do you know how much trouble I'm in? You just misplace something and decide to call the FBI? Do you know how much money and time we wasted? They are going to audit my entire department."
Larry blinked rapidly and swallowed his hot dog. "Don, I'm sorry. I..."
Don waved his hand. "It's okay. If they were in your office and my people missed it, I can't really blame you for that, can I?" He sighed. "So we went to release that Ron Weasley from prisoner for lack of evidence and found out someone got there and released him first." Don scrubbed his face with hands. "At least someone was on the ball. Okay," he said, standing, "I'm going home and taking a nap. I'll figure this out in the morning."
"Is my car out there?" Larry asked. Don looked outside. "I don't see it. You need a ride home?"
Larry hauled himself off the couch. "Yes, please, if you wouldn't mind."
"Amita? You want a ride too? As long as I'm playing chauffeur," Don sighed, pulling on his jacket. Amita followed the two men out the door.
"So," Alan said, "if Larry didn't drive, how did you get to Disneyland?"
Charlie frowned. "I'm not sure. Magic? A nap sounds great. Wake me when dinner's ready?" Charlie staggered upstairs. He just couldn't remember anything from the past few days. Maybe with a little sleep it would come to him. Just like magic.
