Author's Note: I suppose an apology is in order due to the late update, per usual. This time, however I have legitimate (somewhat) excuses. So, from April 1st until now, I have: prepared for and taken my AP European History test, had two different family member visit, dealt with reading many superfluous books in English (including Shakespeare--and that stuff is not easy to muddle through), taken a math test which managed to finally bump my grade up to an A (yes!), memorized several things for Drama class, dealt with the stress of moving and excitement of the end of school, studied for finals, written a monologue, and finished this! Whew! My mom has been going to college and is taking four English classes, so she spend about a trillion hours on the computer for the past two weeks…so I've barely been on at all!
And yes, you read right, the stress of moving--coming this fall, I will be moving back to Canada, where I was born and all of my extended family lives. Scary! I'll probably provide you with more info vis-á-vis updating this story over the summer later, as I'm not really sure what my vacation/moving plans are. But I'm thinking that since I'll be out of school by Thursday, sitting at home with nothing to do but watching Jerry Springer all the time, I'll find myself writing much more often than I am now. Keep your fingers crossed!
Okay, okay, enough of the author's note, you're saying--we're not paying her to blah blah blah about her boring life. And you're right. In fact, you don't pay me at all.
Oh, one more thing--thank you to all the luuuurvely people who reviewed: Iceglitter, shannon flannigan (double thanks, for two reviews!), fatcat, Tiggerbelle, spix, thescottishcat (double thanks to you too!), Saer, Jersey Princess, Irish Lady Knight (you have to remember two things in that conversation: Lupin and Lily had known each other for quite a while already, and also, his friends found out themselves, so he didn't technically tell them!)
Okay, now you can read. J
Chapter Nineteen
Lord Voldemort sat alone, waiting. He found himself waiting more often than not these days, since it was now too dangerous for him to openly conduct his work. Now his plans were all stealth, secrecy, and carefully hidden. He knew one wrong step by any one of his followers could reveal everything. Yet at the same time, he also knew that even if his plans were revealed, he would not be ruined. Lord Voldemort could not be ruined.
He also often wondered whether it was quite wise to trust everything to his followers. Some of them were undoubtedly intelligent, but were they loyal? Could he be sure that they would follow him through everything--even until death? Or would they, when that moment came, abandon him? They would surely be sorry if that was the case. Voldemort rewarded his greatest followers, and he could certainly give the disloyal what they deserved.
A knock at the door stirred him from his reverie. For a moment he wondered why someone was disturbing him, then remembered that he had asked Lucius Malfoy to come to him.
"Enter," He spoke. Lucius Malfoy came in and inclined his head slightly, either out of respect or fear. Voldemort neither knew nor cared. His patience had suddenly become thin.
"My Lord," Malfoy began, "you asked to see me?"
"Yes, Lucius, so I did," Voldemort said. "I wish to know of the operations at Hogwarts."
"There is…little, if nothing to tell, my Lord," Malfoy said, slightly hesitantly. "Everything goes smoothly, though discreetly. We cannot dare to operate under Dumbledore's very nose, but there are still those loyal to you."
"And Dumbledore does not notice?" Voldemort mused. "Or perhaps he thinks it is of no concern…well, he is certainly wrong there. Then you have nothing to report to me, Lucius?"
Malfoy shifted, detecting the impatience in Voldemort's voice. "It seems we can do very little there at the moment, my Lord," Malfoy replied. "Though no doubt we could increase our operations there in ways that would seem unconnected to you."
"You have a plan, Lucius?" Voldemort said, sounding incredulous. "Then by all means, do not hide it from me."
"Those who are loyal to you," Malfoy began, "could possibly begin smaller scale attacks on some of your enemies that are also there--"
"What do you propose they do, Lucius? Attack Dumbledore while he sleeps? There is nothing they can do in this situation."
"N-no, my Lord, I meant people you are meaning to deal with at one point anyway, such as James Potter--" Malfoy said quickly, but fell silent at the look on Voldemort's face, one of icy fury. At long last, Voldemort spoke, but it was not with the rage Malfoy had seen in his eyes. He had retained his oily, condescending tone once again.
"You are growing altogether too restless on the Potter situation, Lucius," He said. "Do not be foolish and let your emotions get in the way of your duty. Do not question my plans."
"I only meant, my Lord, that it seems foolish to wait so long to--"
"You think me a fool as well, Lucius?" Voldemort interrupted quietly, but the words hit Malfoy with great force.
"My Lord, no, no, of course, I would never--"
"If I wanted your opinion I would have asked for it. Do you not think that I have thought through every detail of every plan we have ever made? Has anything we have ever done truly failed? Have I ever given you a reason to question what I have said or done?" Voldemort asked menacingly. Malfoy, who seemed to have lost the ability to speak, simply shook his head.
"Good, Lucius," Voldemort said. "Take care you remember this conversation. The next time you question me, I will make sure you never do so again."
February passed in a blur of wind and rain, with nothing very interesting happening at all. James and Lily hadn't been severely punished for the mud fiasco, though McGonagall had put them on extra corridor patrol at nights for two weeks. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw met on the Quidditch field, with Ravenclaw emerging as the winners of the match. This placed Gryffindor as the favorite for the Quidditch Cup this year, though no one celebrated this much--the Gryffindors had won the last five Cups, so they had grown to almost expecting it. Snape had ended up in the Hospital Wing towards the end of February, due to James and Sirius. Lily had reprehended James quite severely for this, but her anger didn't last for long. A small part of her knew that Snape had gotten what he deserved.
It was late afternoon on a Wednesday evening when Lily sat doing her Charms homework in the Common Room. She hadn't seen James much today, and vaguely wondered where he was. It disturbed her even more that when she had seen him, he had seemed like he was distinctly trying to avoid her. Just as she thought of going to look for him, he came through the portrait hole. Seeing her, he walked over and sat down across the table from her.
"Hey there, stranger," Lily said, smiling. "Where have you been all day?"
"Oh, well, I…you know," He replied. Lily frowned.
"Erm…okay," She said. "Oh, yeah, I forgot to remind you, we have patrol again tonight. Not late though, only until 10."
"Uh-huh," James replied, and something in his tone told her he had already remembered their duty. She noticed how he kept running his hands through his hair. It was funny to her how something that used to be so annoying had become so endearing. One thing she knew, though, was that he was nervous--he always messed with his hair when he was nervous.
"Are you all right?" Lily asked. "You seem kind of shaken or something."
"Er…well…there's this thing," James said, and took a deep breath. "I can't patrol with you tonight."
Lily thought it was very weird how nervous he was just to try and get that out. She studied him. Yes, there was definitely something wrong with him. He was fidgeting a lot, for one thing, and he was purposely avoiding eye contact with her. Well, she'd see if she couldn't get it out of him.
"Why?" She asked bluntly, and she could tell this threw him off. She noticed that he tried to regain his cool very quickly, and suddenly tried to look nonchalant about the whole thing.
"Oh, well, Sirius and I had a little run-in with Snape again, so McGonagall gave us detention again tonight," He said, shrugging. "No big deal."
Lily considered this. He was certainly risking a lot, offering the Snape story as an excuse. He was risking incurring her anger again, which made her wonder: what was it that she would get so upset about that he was willing to lie and still have her get mad at him?
"Okay," Lily said, shrugging. She could see this threw him off too. He'd obviously been expecting her to yell at him.
"So…you're not upset, then?" He offered. She shrugged again.
"Like you said, no big deal. I'm jealous of you, actually. I'd certainly like to be off duty." James was still clearly confused by this turn of events. It seemed, however, that even confusion wouldn't get him to spill the truth. After stuttering out a goodbye and ambling out of the Common Room, Lily was still curious. He was hiding something from her again, and she didn't like it when he did so. It caused too much conflict between the two of them. Though she had begun to train herself not to overreact, she had a feeling this might be something important.
She stared out the window at the already visible full moon, as if the answers were written on the darkening sky. Nothing came to her, and so she went back to her homework, trying and failing to keep her mind off her confusion.
"What did she say?"
"Did you tell her?"
James had rejoined Sirius and Peter in the kitchens, where they were both eating of a plate of pastries. It looked as though in the time he had been gone, they had eaten about 12 eclairs between the two of them. He slumped down on a bench next to Sirius and took a scone.
"Something weird just happened," James said, looking around at them. He could tell they were both avidly interested. "She…well, she did try and get me to tell her why I couldn't go with her tonight, but then she just gave up."
"Huh," Sirius said, "that seems off somehow."
"You're telling me," James said thickly, since he'd just bitten into his scone. The three of them sat in confused silence for a few moments.
"Well…I…maybe she…" Sirius stammered, but fell quiet again, though he continued to open his mouth several times as if to say something. Finally, he said, "Well, you didn't tell her already, did you?"
"No! Of course not!" James said indignantly.
"All right, all right, I was just checking," Sirius said. "Anyway, why are we worrying about it? She obviously hasn't caught on, and doesn't seem to care very much, so there's no problem!"
Peter nodded in agreement, though somewhat half-heartedly, but James wasn't so easily convinced. He looked around at his two friends and sighed in resignation.
"We'd better be extra careful tonight, that's all I'm saying," He muttered, and Sirius and Peter began a fervent discussion about Quidditch teams.
It was later that night, and Lily was walking the corridors as McGonagall had assigned her to do, minus James because of his "detention". Moonlight shone through the windows, making the halls even spookier than they normally would have been at night when you were alone. She sighed, and the noise reverberated around her.
She had made her way up to North Tower for some strange reason; she normally wouldn't have walked so far just to patrol, especially when she was by herself. Inexplicably, she'd felt drawn here, even if it was creeping her out a bit. She leaned against a windowsill and looked out at the grounds below her. A light mist was covering everything, and it made her shiver.
What was James up to? It had taken Lily a while to figure out that she was merely more intrigued in what he was doing than upset with him for lying. Still, she had never expected James to be so complicated. Two years ago, if you'd asked her to guess what went through his head, it would have been mostly filled with Quidditch and preserving his "image". Now he was much too confusing for her the majority of the time.
She started slightly when she heard noises from below her, echoing from some hallway nearby. Listening carefully, she tried to guess who it might be. She certainly didn't want to run into a group of Slytherins alone. The people, however, were making too much noise to be doing anything so important they couldn't risk getting caught. She figured it must be some younger students, so she set off in the direction the voices were coming from.
Lily figured she must be going the right way, because the voices were getting slightly louder with each corner she turned. One of the voices sounded ver familiar indeed, but with all the echoing and intermingling of the other two speakers, she couldn't quite figure it out. Suddenly, she rounded a corner, there was an audible gasp and frantic shushing noises. Oddly, she couldn't see anyone down the hall.
"Hello?" She said, sounding much more timid than she had meant to. She cleared her throat and tried again, "Is anyone there?" There were sounds of footsteps coming towards her, but there was still nothing there. Moreover, it sounded like whatever it was that she couldn't see had at least four legs. The steps were closer, closer, closer, and she could tell whoever or whatever it was was trying to keep as quiet as they could.
She could now tell the…well…the thing was beside her, and she only then became aware that she was slightly frightened and chances were since the Thing was invisible in some way, it clearly had the advantage. Without thinking, she took a step backwards and collided into something solid.
She screamed in spite of herself and jumped about two feet forwards, her heart hammering violently against her chest. She heard a muffled yell from where she'd just run into and this scared her even more. Then, to top it off, James emerged from thin air in front of her, which was enough to scare the living daylights out of anybody.
"Lily, Lily, shhh, be quiet!" James said, rushing towards her and grabbing her by the shoulders.
"How--I thought you said that you had detention!" Lily said, avoiding the question of how he'd just appeared like that.
"I know I did, but right now--" James stopped short and looked as though he was listening carefully. For a moment, Lily couldn't hear anything and thought James might just be trying to distract her, but then she heard what he was listening to--footsteps, getting closer, and a voice that was unmistakably Professor McGonagall's. "Damn it," James said, letting go of Lily and backing away. "Lily, just don't freak out, okay--don't say anything about us being here. Just…just stay cool, okay?" He finished lamely, and for the second time he disappeared from where he had been standing.
Footsteps were now ringing through the hall behind her, she turned around to see McGonagall come whipping around the corner. She was still quite in a state of shock, but she tried to shake it off, feeling that whatever James was doing would certainly warrant some kind of punishment. Professor McGonagall finally reached her, her nostrils slightly flaring--she looked pretty angry.
"Ms. Evans, may I ask what you are doing at ten o'clock at night in the middle of the corridors shrieking like some brainless ninny?" Professor McGonagall asked impatiently. "What on Earth is wrong, you silly girl?"
"Oh, Professor McGonagall, I'm so sorry, it's just that I…" Lily began nervously. She didn't know how to explain--she certainly couldn't tell the truth, but not one believable lie came to her mind. She had never noticed how intimidating Professor McGonagall could be…what could she do?
"Well? What is it?" McGonagall snapped, bringing Lily back to her senses. She remembered James standing behind her somewhere…what would he do?
"It's so silly, really," Lily said, feigning embarrassment, "it's just it gets so scary all alone in the corridors at night, and I…I saw a mouse and it startled me so, Professor. I hope I haven't caused any problems."
Professor McGonagall seemed to deflate slightly. She sighed heavily, reprimanded Lily for causing noise again, and swept off. When she was out of sight, Lily turned around to see not just James, but Sirius and Peter appearing in front of her. Sirius was clutching a silvery cloak, and both he and Peter looked very nervous--in fact, they muttered incomprehensible good-byes before quickly departing. Lily and James stood facing each other in silence for nearly a minute before it was broken.
"I'd appreciate it if you'd explain what that was all about," Lily said coldly.
James sat across from Lily in the Gryffindor Common Room. It was very late at night and he was tired, but he had a feeling that this whole ordeal should be settled before the morning. Lily, on the plus side, didn't look as angry as James would have expected her to be. All the same, he still couldn't find a way to begin his explanation.
"If you wanted to hang out with Sirius and Peter that badly, you could have just said so," Lily said, smiling weakly. James almost laughed but decided that it wouldn't exactly be a great start to a serious conversation.
"I'm sorry," He said. "I shouldn't have lied to you about this and I shouldn't have made you lie to McGonagall."
"I was just kidding around," Lily replied.
"If you knew the whole story…" James began, but changed direction mid-sentence, "I don't want to lie to you about things."
Lily seemed wrong-footed by this simple sentence. "So then tell me the truth," She said finally. James leaned back in his chair and raked his fingers through his hair. He wasn't sure how much of the truth he should tell her. After all, there were parts of it that he felt were not his to reveal to her.
"I…I can't tell you everything," James stated. "I don't feel like I should be the one to be telling other people's secrets. What…what is it that you want to know exactly?"
"Well, for starters, how did you just appear like that, out of nowhere?" She asked. "You scared me to death!"
"Oh…Invisibility Cloak," James replied. "I found it in the attic in a box of my dad's old stuff. I figured no one was using it, so I took it for myself. I don't think my dad ever noticed it was gone." Lily looked as though she were about to chastise James for stealing his father's possessions, but then lost the energy for it.
"And…where were you guys going?" She asked.
"That's something I can't tell you," James said.
"But why? Do you think I'm going to be angry with you?" Lily interrupted. James sighed, trying to think of a good answer.
"Because…first of all, it involves other people, and, like I said, I don't want to tell other people's secrets," James said, and he could see he hadn't satisfied her yet, so he continued. "And also because I know you--and if I were to tell you about this, you'd probably feel obligated to tell someone about it."
"James, are you doing something dangerous or illegal?" She said impatiently. He noted that her tone indicated she wouldn't be surprised if he were.
"Er…yes and yes," He replied warily. "But…even though I know you'd think otherwise, this is something more important than being in danger or doing something illegal."
"How so? You could go to jail if you're doing something illegal!" Lily persisted.
"Well, it's as important as…let's say it was illegal for me to be in love with you, I would still do it anyway, because you are more important to me than some silly law," James said.
"So you're not going to tell me where you were going?" Lily asked, sighing.
"I was trying to help a friend," James said. He leaned forward and took Lily's hand. "One day, I'll be able to tell you everything about everything I've ever done. But now…now is not the right time. Please don't worry about me. Everything's going to be fine."
Lily studied James for a moment. He hoped that she would finally let the subject alone now, because he was running out of clever sentences. Finally, she smiled and kissed him. James let out a breath of relief that he had managed to make it through the conversation alive.
He stood up, yawning, once again reminded of how extremely tired he was. Lily stood up as well.
"You know, you never did apologize for scaring me so badly," She said as they walked towards the spiral staircase. James laughed.
"You should have seen your face when you ran into us, you sort of seized up and shrieked with this panicked look on your face--"
"Oh, yes, it's all very funny, isn't it?"
"Actually, it really is…"
So James went to bed, and for the first time in a while, he felt like things were perfectly right again.
Author's Note: Well, there it is, finally done! I know it took forever, but hopefully you still have a place for me in your heart. I feel like I'm getting less and less reviews every chapter, which is disheartening. I hope I'm not chasing anyone off by being lame about updating. If you like the story, please please please review, because my fire of writing is fueled by lots of reviews.
On another note, I was rereading the last chapter and noticed isn't putting the hyphens in where I place them when I write it. What's that all about? Anyway, I'm a total perfectionist so it really irritated me to see the blatant bad grammar and mistakes (gasp!) that the hyphen disappearance caused. So I'm going to try and fix that for this chapter, and if it doesn't work, well, I hope you're not all as irritated with typos as I am.
I'm now officially finished with school, so hopefully there will be an update sooner rather than later…of course, it always helps me write when people review…ahem…
